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Old 08-17-2008, 12:33 PM   #1
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Unhappy I want to be a big girl, but I`m fraid noone will love me if I do

Im more and more certain about what I want.. to eat and live and enjoy life without guilt, but I am afraid to let go.


Tell me how you crossed the line to "the other side", the happy side of life
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Old 08-17-2008, 12:35 PM   #2
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Tell me how you crossed the line to "the other side", the happy side of life
I stopped asking for permission to do what I wanted.
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Old 08-17-2008, 12:35 PM   #3
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Thats a question that I am afraid I cannot answer. Mostly because no one knows what the future holds for us. I say, go with what your heart wants. And do not dwell on someone else's point of view on beauty.
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Old 08-17-2008, 12:40 PM   #4
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honestly, plenty of people here are unhappy and didn't have a choice. but you need to do what you want the most and not which one will be safer socially. i'm always using this example, but ask yourself, if you were gay, would you rather live out your life in hiding? it's like that except less dangerous and weirder.
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Old 08-17-2008, 12:51 PM   #5
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I stopped asking for permission to do what I wanted.

I have this devil on my shoulder. Telling me I am weak and bad for giving in to food and I always end up crying.

I have fought my body and my weight all my life, I just need to let go, but I can`t see how to do that.

I am so desperat to be FREE!!
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Old 08-17-2008, 01:13 PM   #6
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Let go and be yourself. It's not about what you want to be: It's about who you truly are.
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Old 08-17-2008, 01:17 PM   #7
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Originally Posted by Lalique View Post
Im more and more certain about what I want.. to eat and live and enjoy life without guilt, but I am afraid to let go.


Tell me how you crossed the line to "the other side", the happy side of life
All of us will love you lol you're welcome here
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Old 08-17-2008, 01:34 PM   #8
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Thank you for the support, now I just feel like giving youall a big hug
It`s true, this is the real me calling to come out. It`s not that I have a really choice. Everyday I keep fighting to stay thin I suffer. It`s a lifetime of struggles and sacrifices..I can`t live like this!

Somtimes it feels like this is my call. To advocate fatphobia and showing the world there is another kind of life besides dieting ang gyms.

There is a lot of changing going on in my life right now. And I want to be brave and embrace my fat too.

Thank you for the replies. Im from Norway so excuse my poor english
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Old 08-17-2008, 01:40 PM   #9
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Thank you for the support, now I just feel like giving youall a big hug
It`s true, this is the real me calling to come out. It`s not that I have a really choice. Everyday I keep fighting to stay thin I suffer. It`s a lifetime of struggles and sacrifices..I can`t live like this!

Somtimes it feels like this is my call. To advocate fatphobia and showing the world there is another kind of life besides dieting ang gyms.

There is a lot of changing going on in my life right now. And I want to be brave and embrace my fat too.

Thank you for the replies. Im from Norway so excuse my poor english
*Hugs you close* I used to date a girl from Oslo in high school, you must be very beautiful
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Old 08-17-2008, 01:52 PM   #10
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I never had a line to cross...I have always been fat so it's not even second nature to me...it IS nature to me! But letting go and being content is a wonderful thing and the feelings you get are mindnumbing!

Good luck to you.
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3. "I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints, the sinners are much more fun! Only the good die young!" Only The Good Die Young
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Old 08-17-2008, 01:56 PM   #11
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I was really thin for the longest time,but genetics caught up with me in my late teens and early twenties.I have moments that I wish I was not so heavy but it is who I am.I have better relationships with men being heavy believe it or not.Just be true to yourself,thats all a girl can do.
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Old 08-17-2008, 02:49 PM   #12
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Originally Posted by Lalique View Post
Im more and more certain about what I want.. to eat and live and enjoy life without guilt, but I am afraid to let go.


Tell me how you crossed the line to "the other side", the happy side of life
I'm not sure I understand what it is you are guilty of. Did you commit a heinous act of savagery? Did you boil someone's bunny? Seems to me like there's nothing to be guilty about. Simple as that.
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Old 08-17-2008, 03:09 PM   #13
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Im more and more certain about what I want.. to eat and live and enjoy life without guilt, but I am afraid to let go.


Tell me how you crossed the line to "the other side", the happy side of life
You don't want to know my story. The choices I made were so self destructive that I damn near lost everything (including my own life at one point). Hitting rock bottom is better than a college education.

You have to choose to enjoy life. You have to choose to be free. Nobody can give you these things, you have to want them so much.... you are willing to feel a little bit of pain. All Choices have consequences. If you can live with the consequences of your decesions, then you will be able to take the next step, which is to build a life that you are happy with.
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Old 08-17-2008, 03:33 PM   #14
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Lalique,

You are not alone, you will be loved for who you are, but the first thing you must do is remove the world from yourself, only then you can see the world YOU want. Anything is possible and everything is probable, you have found the right place to seek guidance and support for whatever decisions you must make in order to find personal happiness. All I know is that to love the world, and to have the world love you, you must first love yourself. remove all obstacles, don't think about what others want, only think about what you want then give it all your intent and energy, focus yourself from the inside out, not the outside in and you will find love, peace, happiness and contentment to yourself and all others around you who choose to embrace it. This is what I have done in my own life and I could not be worse off because of it. Yes, there will be people who will not embrace your world, nor choose to see the positivity that will emanate from the fulfillment of your heart, but those people are not meant to exist in your world, they will either change and accept in time if they so desire to be in your life, or fade away and be replaced with the people that you desire and desire to be with you.

I hope this helps a little bit.
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Old 08-17-2008, 03:49 PM   #15
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Not to put too fine a point on it, but there's no question that being fat is not for the faint of heart--from the random verbal attacks that you get on the street sometimes, to the drop-off in dating opportunities that I have experienced as I get fatter, to the increased harrassment from well-meaning family members and friends.

Which is why I urge you to have ovaries or testicles of steel implanted before you decide to go ahead and let yourself get fat.

Or simply learn not to care what others think.

Of course, once you get truly comfortable in your body, there's no feeling like it. I highly recommend it.
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Old 08-17-2008, 10:33 PM   #16
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be happy with who you are but i have to put my 2 cents in. being fat truly sucks. the discrimination, the dateless weekends, the looks and laughs behind your back, the critisim that society gives you and not last the health problems. society puts a tremendous amount of pressure to "fit in" or risk being criticized. I have truly had enough and i am trying to fit in to what they want me to be. maybe i will have better luck on the other side of the fence.
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Old 08-18-2008, 01:38 AM   #17
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Default Thank you all

I am realy touched by you all. There is so much wisdom on this site, Im overwhelmed

For me this is more tha just the shape of my body. It`s who I am. Who I nedd to be i order to be a peacful human being.

When I talk about this to my friends they just tell me: You can still find happiness AND watch your diet. You`ll be unhealthy and you`ll get diabetes etc..

Seems like they can`t see I need the freedom. I have been anorexic, I have been a compulsive eater, I overexercise,you name it, I have done it all

I need to be FREE. Oh, I so need it..
I need to wake up in the morning without feeling guilt for what I ate the day before. I need to be able to (over)indulge every once in a while.
I want to eat fruit and chocolate in random order.

I want to fill my home with size acceptance!!

I truly feel this is my call in life.. I want to show my friends that freedom is happiness for me. Please let me out.

I live in Norway and envy all of you i the states with shops with size acceptance items.. If anyone of you have postcards, t-shirts or other size friendly items for me to state this change in my life, I SO want to buy it!

Send me a PM, maybe you found a new friend
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Old 08-18-2008, 02:22 AM   #18
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I am fat, I am loved. I am happy and I am healthy.
Why?
Because I deserve nothing less.
There are always going to people who have something bad to say about you, fat or thin. Its how you deal with it.
If being fat is what you truly want, you will do it.
If you are having doubts, weight until you know for sure. Or just gain a little weight to see how it feels.
Its not a new hair colour or pair of jeans, its life changing.
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Old 08-18-2008, 02:29 AM   #19
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Just had to pipe in here following bountiful's post, to say that being fat DOESN'T suck. Not for me anyway. I think a great deal of our experiences in life are due to our own attitude. I can say honestly that Im an ssbbw in a country where ssbbws are still very rare and I've never once been called a name or stared at in disgust by strangers. Yes I've had it from one of my sisters, but she has done it all my life and really its all about her own issues, not really anything to do with me.

Also, people all have different systems and some are fitter at 200lbs more than others.

As for attention from the opposite sex, I've had more than when I was relatively slim in my early twenties.

Just make sure you are decided on what you want to do, before you go for it. I know it is difficult being fat in Norway, as its a much slimmer country than the US or those in the UK.

Good luck to you on your journey.

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Old 08-18-2008, 03:43 AM   #20
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I felt the need to say I made a spelling mistake in my post, WAIT not WEIGHT lol
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Old 08-18-2008, 05:10 AM   #21
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I felt the need to say I made a spelling mistake in my post, WAIT not WEIGHT lol
lol, I giggled when I saw it, freudian slip I've seen several FA's use "weight" instead of "wait", on purpose though!
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Old 08-18-2008, 05:38 AM   #22
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Well i can understand why you would feel that way.

Its easy to come to Dimensions and fine people that admire you as you are and in a bigger form but having a relationship with someone is much differnt than a guy looking at your pics and asking for more and telling you how pretty you are.

In real life I tend to come across men that are either marrried or involved and they are looking for "fun" I guess they think cause I'm fat I'd be happy with that. Then there are the yeah we are dating but we really don't do anything but stay in the house I would imagine they are in the closet about liking big women. Oh and don't forget, you can't show an ounce of insecurity because the men I mentioned above want a confident BBW.

Yeah right.

Anyway good luck with what ever you decide to do.
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Old 08-18-2008, 05:54 AM   #23
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Just had to pipe in here following bountiful's post, to say that being fat DOESN'T suck. Not for me anyway. I think a great deal of our experiences in life are due to our own attitude. I can say honestly that Im an ssbbw in a country where ssbbws are still very rare and I've never once been called a name or stared at in disgust by strangers. Yes I've had it from one of my sisters, but she has done it all my life and really its all about her own issues, not really anything to do with me.

Also, people all have different systems and some are fitter at 200lbs more than others.

As for attention from the opposite sex, I've had more than when I was relatively slim in my early twenties.

Just make sure you are decided on what you want to do, before you go for it. I know it is difficult being fat in Norway, as its a much slimmer country than the US or those in the UK.

Good luck to you on your journey.

I don't know sometimes being fat does suck. It is not always easy. I don't think I did anything to others to warrant the verbal abuse from strangers that I suffered for years about my weight.
I am glad that you did not have to suffer that, but life as a BBW in Australia can be horrible.
Having said that being fat can also make you feel beautiful and womanly and feminine in some ways.

I think love yourself and be confident and if being fat is what you truely want then follow your heart on that.
It is not an easy road though.
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Old 08-18-2008, 11:41 AM   #24
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""I need to be FREE. Oh, I so need it..
I need to wake up in the morning without feeling guilt for what I ate the day before. I need to be able to (over)indulge every once in a while.
I want to eat fruit and chocolate in random order. ""

Being fat won't make you free. Everything has a price and if you choose to be fat you will face many problems you are not likely currently facing. If you choose to remain thin you will have other problems.
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Old 08-18-2008, 11:50 AM   #25
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I was like you for all of my teen years (loved to eat, but scared of gaining weight) but then.. i had several deaths in my family that shook me. I finally relised that i wanted to just eat whatever i felt like it. No guilt. God put it here, i'm going to enjoy it! You don't know what the day will bring, or tommorow, no need to suffer over food choices. Enjoy life my friend, eat! *Big hugs of support*
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