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Old 12-18-2008, 06:45 PM   #51
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man, superO, i'd never want to begrudge you your positive attitude and i agree with the overall spirit of that post, but i have to say sometimes you really do seem to skate awfully close to completely dismissing the experiences and concerns of other fat people whose lives haven't been as charmed as yours has (in this respect, at least). to say we're not hated is silly, because you really don't have to look far (on this very board, actually) to see that yeah, in a lot of ways and by a lot of people, we really are.
i agree that it shouldn't consume a person, worrying about the potential disapproval of countless people they haven't even met yet, but you really sometimes act (or...write) like that's all hogwash, nobody's ever been needlessly shit on my strangers for being fat, nobody's ever been laughed off the face of the planet for being fat and daring to ask a non-FA out on a date, etc etc etc.
i mean again: i'm really glad these things seem to not have happened to you, but that doesn't mean yours is the average fat experience.
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Old 12-18-2008, 07:43 PM   #52
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i appreciate your feelings. i would never dismiss people's experiences-- ever. but as i've said before i will state my opinions. i know there are a lot of people who see things from the oppposite position than i do. but, even though i try not to be rude, i'm not a yes woman and i don't just go along to get along. i do think there is discrimmination against fat people. but not every fat person feels unloved. i don't think that is the experience of everyone on these boards. but even if that were true this board isn't everybody. its not every fat person in the world or even in the US. what the board does not do ,as often as i would like, is talk about all of the people who are fat who are loved. so it might be easy to get the impression that being fat is a life of misery. here, often a thin person has to prove themselves before they are even allowed to contribute positively. that includes people previously fat who've had WLS etc...and FAs and FFAs. often everything people of the opposite sex talk about is put down to only sexual interest at best or a fetish at worst. the thing about getting love from people is that you have to let them. and, in my opinion people put their fat between themselves and people who are capable of loving them because they don't feel lovelable themselves. it doesn't matter how often i can say that the numbers don't even bear that out what a lot of people here still believe. not even when most americans are fat and most married people are fat. thats really sad because the celebration of being fat is lost when people who are fat themselves don't believe in their own power, beauty and loveability. if we don't believe there is no reason for anyone else to learn to believe that either if they don't already.

the reason we talk about negative experieces is because in general they aren't the norm. every person a fat person sees does not have a problem with them. and definitely people who have a problem with fat don't necessarily HATE fat people. they may believe its unhealthy. they might even think its unsightly. but that comes from a lack of education. and it on us not to educate people to believe that their thoughts are correct. we have to change our opinion and outlook as well. people have all kinds of reasons for their feelings. you can't just take hate real or imagined into yourself that way. its unhealthy.

i know what discrimmination is like on a lot of fronts. i have seen things that look much more like hate than the occassional look or nasty remark. i saw legislated discrimmination, institutional discrimination and i know the difference. i saw crowds of people throwing rocks at defenseless children. people shooting them down with guns and setting dogs on them. i was nearly one of those myself. i saw that people in history were put inside barbed wire fences and starved and worked to death. being fat is nothing like that. and even those people were loved because they are human beings and other true human beings in the world made sure that it stopped--out of love. we have to have more back bone than we do. allowing some pitiful person to destroy your life or even your day because they are snarky is not the way to go. things have to be put into perspective. we shouldn't live in a prison of our own making. we have the key to get out if we really want to. and if anyone tries to do anything that remotely seems like crossing a line, other than personal opinion, we should take legal steps to remedy it. hey, they may not necessarily like fat but we can darned well make people respect it. but in the process we have to learn how to respect ourselves and not keep ourselves down. and saying oh yeah, "no one will ever love you if your fat" is not the way to do it. especially since its absolutely not true.

Last edited by superodalisque; 12-18-2008 at 07:55 PM.
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Old 12-18-2008, 09:06 PM   #53
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again, agreed in spirit, but i do think there is a middle ground between 'nobody will ever love or respect me because i'm fat' and 'being fat is easy, fun, and you'll be fending off potential suitors with a blowtorch'.
to me, both are equally delusional.
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Old 12-19-2008, 12:10 AM   #54
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*wants to know where the suitors are for the blowtorch...*

There are some things I've gained from being fat, but I don't think I would have chosen to be this way if it had been a choice for me.
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Old 12-19-2008, 12:19 AM   #55
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Blowtorch is a harsh mistress.
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Old 12-19-2008, 12:48 AM   #56
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I'd be gentle.
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Old 12-19-2008, 10:21 AM   #57
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When I realized I have been fat since I was 7, I gain weight easier than I lose weight, and I thought "Why hate my body that God gave me, starve myself, strain and pain myself and be so unhappy in this short life? On the otherhand I can accept my body, be me, be warm soft squishy and be happy to the day I die. "
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Old 12-19-2008, 02:22 PM   #58
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Originally Posted by elle camino View Post
again, agreed in spirit, but i do think there is a middle ground between 'nobody will ever love or respect me because i'm fat' and 'being fat is easy, fun, and you'll be fending off potential suitors with a blowtorch'.
to me, both are equally delusional.
the latter is something i never said. being human is not always easy and fun either. living in expectation of ease in life is very immature and time wasting. its best to appreciate the life you have to the fullest instead of wallowing because everyone has the potential to deal in darkness if they chose it. most human beings aren't fending off suitors with a blow torch either. i have thin friends who have dates that are few and far between. but i can tell you that a lot of fat women who have confidence and are in posession of themselves do. its hard to be attracted to someone who doesn't like themselves and someone who is ashamed of themselves. if the op likes a fat self that is much less apt to happen.

i only encouraged the op to be themselves rather than to pretend to be something they don't feel in their heart. a person more likely to fail the on all fronts when it comes to personal happiness if they aren't true to themselves. that goes for thin people who'd really like to be fat and fat people who'd really like to be thin. the main reason most people are unhappy is because they spend all of their time trying to please other people instead of pleasing themselves. i do it myself and it never turns out right when i do. we have every right to please ourselves and we should take it. most people who feel thin don't even feel approved of. why? because people who are abusive in nature will always find something. fat is just one of the somethings warped people notice. so should we spend our lives trying to get something from them they'll never give us anyway, or should we live our own lives and enjoy it?
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Old 12-19-2008, 05:20 PM   #59
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Im more and more certain about what I want.. to eat and live and enjoy life without guilt, but I am afraid to let go.


Tell me how you crossed the line to "the other side", the happy side of life
Some have told me they've been helped by my articles: Deciding to Get Fat, How to Get Fat, and The Glutton's Pledge. You should check them out.
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Old 12-19-2008, 10:44 PM   #60
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No thanks. I think I'm already pretty good at it. Ha!
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Old 12-20-2008, 04:59 PM   #61
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Im more and more certain about what I want.. to eat and live and enjoy life without guilt, but I am afraid to let go.


Tell me how you crossed the line to "the other side", the happy side of life
you make a great point here when you talk about the guilt. i think people feel very guilty about having what they want. its as though your a bad person if you indulge yourself in any pleasure. that includes pleasure in eating. maybe some of the body dysmorphia has something to do with the guilt of actually appreciating and enjoying your own body. people are also supposed to be apologetic for being wealthy. i often wonder why do we have such a problem with recieving and enjoying--particularly women? and also why do we punish ourselves and each other so much for having what we want?
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Old 12-20-2008, 05:55 PM   #62
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I have this devil on my shoulder. Telling me I am weak and bad for giving in to food and I always end up crying.

I have fought my body and my weight all my life, I just need to let go, but I can`t see how to do that.

I am so desperat to be FREE!!
You have to learn to let go and do what is right for you. Certainly you will face asinine comments from fools, we all have to deal with that. But once you have tasted that freedom, there is no going back. As the wonderful Eleanor Roosevelt said, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Don't give them that consent.

Another great quote and something to keep in your mind when that 'devil' haunts you..."The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience."

I have been where you are Lalique, and I got past it and am better for it. You need to be able to get out of that comfort zone. I know you are not comfortable by any means, but it just is another way of saying take a chance, break free of those fears that are restraining you. It isn't easy, but most things in life aren't.
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Old 12-27-2008, 03:02 PM   #63
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I have this devil on my shoulder. Telling me I am weak and bad for giving in to food and I always end up crying.FREE!!
Your problem is you haven't decided to get fat.

If you decide to get fat, "giving in" to food is not a weakness. In fact, it isn't even giving in. It's just doing what you've already decided.

If you decide to get fat, eating all you want is a good thing.

If you decide to get fat, your growing belly will be a source of pride, a sign that you have the strength of character to live your own life the way you want.
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Old 12-27-2008, 03:34 PM   #64
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If it makes you happy you should go for it!! You only live once

And this board is a great example that there are many guys out there who like bigger women

Good luck in whatever you decide!

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Old 12-27-2008, 04:33 PM   #65
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I'm with Kinkykitten... you have to make yourself happy, don't worry about the rest of the world. These thoughts nearly stopped me being with a BHM - i'm so glad i got over them
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Old 12-29-2008, 02:34 PM   #66
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so what have you decided?? are you gonna let tha media discourage you or are you gonna eat what you want and not worry about it ???
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Old 12-29-2008, 04:29 PM   #67
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I think that you are afraid of loosing the approval of others; that's the cliff you are stepping off when deciding to let yourself go. You are not going to please all of the people all of the time. The most important thing is that you please yourself. You may feel that by eating what you want you will plummet from that cliff into the social abyss of being 'fat'. If anything the opposite is true; fulfil your urges and you will fly off that cliff and feel the freedom that you seem to crave.

Of course, that is easy to say. Ultimately the degree to which we are happy with ourselves is often influenced by knowing that our fellow human beings approve of us. You need support for the step you are going to take; you need wings if you are going to fly.

But people here will definitely tell you it is okay to eat when you want to eat. You will have our approval. This community can be your wings.
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Old 12-30-2008, 02:17 PM   #68
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Old 01-06-2009, 04:26 AM   #69
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Red face Thanks from the botto of my heart

It has been a long time without posting, but I always read post in here. It gives me inspiration to keep fighting this fight and keep my eyes on my goal.

Thank you everyone for giving me so much courage. I need it so much!

It is a lonely road Im going.
I still fight the ambivalence, but the more I struggle against my inner voice the more I know this is the right path for me. Letting go of restrictions and diet thoughts and letting myself be free.

Im still pretty slim. But I am "fat-skinny" I have a body that crave food, but my eating disorder is still very much alive. I still binge and sometimes purge. I have to be honest about this. And I still exersice for the wrong reasons.

But I have hopes for this year. I have a great man in my life and he cant wait to see me grow and blossom. We enjoy our evenings with food and watching tv and cuddling in the couch

Life as a big girl cant be wrong.. cant it?
I am so desperate after acceptance.. Im surrounded by friends who dont understand this. Lucky I have you guys and a wonderful partner I can talk to. I really am blessed

Thank you all.. I want to be more active in here, making more friends.

Big hugs from me to all of you
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Old 01-07-2009, 10:47 PM   #70
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in my opinion, when your truly comfortable with yourself and love who you are, no one else's opinion matters. everyone in the town can laugh as u walk by, but if u love YOU , you wont even hear the giggles, as if they mattered anyways!
i gotta tell you, im the heaviest ive ever been and im the happiest ive ever been also, remember confidence really is BEAUTY!
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Old 01-07-2009, 10:49 PM   #71
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I felt the need to say I made a spelling mistake in my post, WAIT not WEIGHT lol

aww congrats Bexy!!!
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Old 01-09-2009, 11:13 AM   #72
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When you think about it logically there is not reason to care what random idiots might think about you...but emotionally it is hard not to allow yourself to be drawn into society's feelings about fat people. That is where the inner love comes in, and that takes some time and effort I am working on it myself. Good luck and you will find lots of encouragement here!
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Old 01-09-2009, 02:23 PM   #73
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What is seems to me is that the real battle inside you is that you still believe that letting go and eating what you want = bad, fat, lazy. Equals ugly in the eyes of the world.

All of these negative things that you have been taught. Just because you eat a few things doesnt mean you will become fat. It also doesnt mean you will become bad or lazy.

You have to find balance. you can enjoy food and your life with out being fat, you can be fat and active, you can be good or bad and either one doesnt have anything to do with your size.

You are juding your whole being by your size instead of who you are as a person. When you are proud of yourself weather you eat a larger portion or not doesnt matter, what size you are doesnt either.

When you focus on yourself your interests and who you are and want to become. subjects like eating a burger over a salad dont matter sometimes you choose a burger and sometimes a salad no big deal. Trying to find confidence in your appearance will never satisfy you. Find confidence in yourself and this battle of letting go will fade away, you will then make educated decisions according to health, wants, needs, and balance not your looks.

You will see that you have not changed you are still the most amazing beautiful person you were before. You will begin to see that fat doesnt equal all those things weather you gain weight or not.

Hugs to you. Raqui
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Old 01-09-2009, 02:54 PM   #74
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If you want to be a big girl, eating and gaining is not failure, it is success. If being big will make you happy, go for it. What you want is what matters.
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