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Old 09-15-2008, 10:38 AM   #26
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Originally Posted by Fuzzy Necromancer View Post
I know they exist. I just think it's strange that you don't hear about feedees as a general concept much in these forums.

It's also odd, considering that feedees can engage in their fetish without feeders, you don't see them discussed on their own. The word "feedee" is usually only used when your talking about feeders.

LillyBBW: alright. =/ I jus thave a strong sense of sexual inferiority sometimes, and when people say things bad about feeders in general I read that into bad things about all feeders everywhere, especially me.
I've made attempts at posting feedee related stuff here but my threads here usually die a quick death. Ekim is way better at it than I am.
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Old 09-15-2008, 11:19 AM   #27
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It doesn't necessarily have to be in that extreme. If a woman loves to wear high heels because they make her feel sexy and a guy likes a girl in high heels it works out. The fact that she can wear and enjoy them without him being present isn't necessarily a bad thing for either it's just when someone's behavior is out of control that it gets scary. The desires on their own are wonderful, it's just when guys forget to behave themselves and start grabbing willy nilly at your parts. It's really all about boundaries. It doesn't hurt to learn where they are. There no reason we can't all co exist.
Boundries have always been set, in my cases. Just because a woman professes to be a feedee, does NOT mean she's begging to be groped. It means that, to her, she wants to feel sexy, and to that end, she wants to be fed, plain and simple.
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Old 09-15-2008, 11:27 AM   #28
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Originally Posted by JMNYC View Post
Why don't people post their salary, their PIN number, their address and where the money is in the house?

Because some will use the information to harm them. And so will people attack them, no matter what their view on any given subject including feederism. Where are the feedees? They exist.

I've just finished reading a book about Sigmund Freud, the father of psychoanalysis, who said his visit to the USA revolted him because the culture seemed to be ruled by the lowest common denominator, the most crass and base and classless and rude.

And this was in 1918!!! So one need not wonder why someone might not choose to reveal themselves. Who wants to be nibbled to death by a pack of ducks?
what are you talking about?
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Old 09-15-2008, 11:42 AM   #29
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what are you talking about?
You fool!

You fell victim to one of the classic blunders! The most famous is never get involved in a land war in Asia, but only slightly less well-known is this: never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ..


Oh .. and I am going to go with the whole opinion that women don't reveal themselves in the whole feederism world because .. well, once you do, that is what the majority of idiotic men will then solely identify you as and they will then wish to act like you base your existence around it.

Feedees do definitely exist, more than one would think .. unless the girls who I've been involved with who acted like they were into it were only doing it to please me .. wait a second

*drops to knees* I'M A MONSTER!!!^G^(&GG&*
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Old 09-15-2008, 12:00 PM   #30
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Originally Posted by BothGunsBlazing View Post
You fool!

You fell victim to one of the classic blunders! The most famous is never get involved in a land war in Asia, but only slightly less well-known is this: never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ..


Oh .. and I am going to go with the whole opinion that women don't reveal themselves in the whole feederism world because .. well, once you do, that is what the majority of idiotic men will then solely identify you as and they will then wish to act like you base your existence around it.

Feedees do definitely exist, more than one would think .. unless the girls who I've been involved with who acted like they were into it were only doing it to please me .. wait a second

*drops to knees* I'M A MONSTER!!!^G^(&GG&*
If you told her you had an elven fantasy and wanted to do it in a hollow log she'd exclaim, "OMG ME TOO!!" if you were hot and she wanted to get laid badly enough. Women aren't above being base to get what they want. But yeah, there's the 'nunya' factor. Women generally tend to be much more private about that kind of stuff and will share fantasies only with the person they are seeing. You're not a monster unless you aquire dates with a taser.

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Old 09-15-2008, 12:08 PM   #31
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Originally Posted by LillyBBBW View Post
If you told her you had an elven fantasy and wanted to do it in a hollow log she'd exclaim, "OMG ME TOO!!" if you were hot and she wanted to get laid badly enough. Women aren't above being base to get what they want. But yeah, there's the 'nunya' factor. Women generally tend to be much more private about that kind of stuff and will share fantasies only with the person they are seeing. You're not a monster unless you aquire dates with a taser.
Right, if by telling her I had an elven fantasy and wanted to do it in a hollow log you actually mean I want you to get stuck in a hollow log trying to get the honey at the end of it like Winnie The Pooh and I, roleplaying Rabbit, just happen to be walking along and see you kicking your legs helplessly and want to teach you a lesson, then, by all means, we're in business.

...

oh yeah and you make a good point too!
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Old 09-15-2008, 12:57 PM   #32
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Originally Posted by BothGunsBlazing View Post
Right, if by telling her I had an elven fantasy and wanted to do it in a hollow log you actually mean I want you to get stuck in a hollow log trying to get the honey at the end of it like Winnie The Pooh and I, roleplaying Rabbit, just happen to be walking along and see you kicking your legs helplessly and want to teach you a lesson, then, by all means, we're in business.

...

oh yeah and you make a good point too!
.........

OK. You've just increased your odds by 53% with that scenario. Good for you, bad for my analogy which proves you could probably talk your way into just about anything. Hmmm, maybe you ARE a monster.
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"...If the only pain you recognize as valid is your own, of course you'll have trouble identifying it when you see it in other people. That's the trouble with narcissism. It makes you really inadequate and boring."

Have you hugged a fat girl today?

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Old 09-15-2008, 01:47 PM   #33
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I think also for the feedee they don't necessarily need a feeder to achieve the feeling, What i mean is a feedee could feed themselves where a feeder NEEDS a feedee in order to experience it.

My girl always called herself a foodee she loved food she loved to eat (but she also loved the feeling of being full and stuffed) when she met me we started talking about erotic food play and we discovered together that i am a feeder and she is a feedee.

I also recently started a thread about feeling guilty for obsessing over her size and eating. The fact is she eats what she wants, she is fat, I love her size, I love her appetite, I love how she loves me.

The best way to really describe our relationship is I am an FA she is a SSBBW, she likes to eat, i like to see her eat, she loves her body, I love her body, She has found someone that she doesn't have to hide her overeating from, she doesn't have to worry about her weight with me. I found a Big Beautiful round squishy woman. i get excited when she pigs out, i get excited when she gains weight, i do encourage her a little her and there i do not push her to gain, i support her Aggressively so to speak LOL.

Also some feedee's may not think of themselves a feedee without actually having a feeder, I'm sure many of the feeder's have significant others that aren't interested in being fed and vice versa.
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this place..its like an onion wrapped in an inigma wrapped in a conundrum wrapped in a mumu!!

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Oh the life of an Fa.. its like a rollercoaster on a bouncy castle in a haunted mansion sometimes!
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Old 09-15-2008, 01:55 PM   #34
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chloroform??? ha, all these years I've been using colorforms!


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Old 09-15-2008, 02:24 PM   #35
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Originally Posted by Fuzzy Necromancer View Post
The point is, all of these perspectives seem to act more or less as if feedees didn't exist.

Erotic Weight Gain, Weight Board, Dimensions, and SA community at large, I beg of you,
Where's the feedee?
I know this is going to sound pretty sobering but maybe the number of existing feedees is diminishing for the sole reason that the health problems that come with weight gain are outweighing the erotic positives. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out a BBW or SSBBW with any particular body pains or issues isn't going to want to compound those problems by satisfying their lover's fantasies or the fantasies of complete strangers on the net--or even their own erotic desires.

I'm also assuming most of the dudes here that see pics or videos on the Paysite Board of women consuming entire roasts or chickens in one sitting realize they're not consuming in such volume outside of a photo/video shoot. I'm thinking the tide has changed in the direction of women placing their physical well-being before others erotic desires.
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Old 09-15-2008, 02:41 PM   #36
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Originally Posted by Les Toil View Post
I know this is going to sound pretty sobering but maybe the number of existing feedees is diminishing for the sole reason that the health problems that come with weight gain are outweighing the erotic positives. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out a BBW or SSBBW with any particular body pains or issues isn't going to want to compound those problems by satisfying their lover's fantasies or the fantasies of complete strangers on the net--or even their own erotic desires.

I'm also assuming most of the dudes here that see pics or videos on the Paysite Board of women consuming entire roasts or chickens in one sitting realize they're not consuming in such volume outside of a photo/video shoot. I'm thinking the tide has changed in the direction of women placing their physical well-being before others erotic desires.
No. Becoming ill does not make ones desires go away. One may not actively participate in feeding due to health concerns but the desires still exist and always will.
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"...If the only pain you recognize as valid is your own, of course you'll have trouble identifying it when you see it in other people. That's the trouble with narcissism. It makes you really inadequate and boring."

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Old 09-15-2008, 03:24 PM   #37
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Originally Posted by CuslonGodibb View Post
Fuzzy Necromancer - I've never thought of it in this way before, but sure, you have a good point. I, too, would prefer "feedism" to "feederism". Your alternative - "feedism" - just feels more inclusive, whereas "feederism" sort of excludes the feedee. Thanks for making me notice!

/ CuslonGodibb
I like that too. Feedism seems more all encompasing.

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..... But it seems to me that in general guys are more willing to come forward about these feelings than are women, whether because there are more guys who feel this way, or they are just more open about it, I don't know.

-Ed

** This is the internet, so of course not 100% sure of the 'woman' thing, but in both cases I think it probable, and at any rate they were people who fantasized about being a feedee woman.
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Originally Posted by exile in thighville View Post
Oh yeah, I'm certainly not saying all fetishes are male-created, just that it's more common for men to be the catalyst for making women do Weird Stuff. I think we're more likely to talk about it too, which is only saying that girls are less likely to put themselves at risk to be judged, which is what this thread's about, I realize while typing this sentence.

I think that has a lot to do with it. Men are just catered to sexually (in all aspects of society both eastern and western) in a way that women are not. Then there is the added onus on the woman to prove her virtue, which can set up "moral" conflicts. To repress or not to repress.

I agree about it being more common for men to be the catalyst. I'd say it also goes to a sense of male entitlement. Whether or not a man expects a woman to cater to his fantasies, I'm certain there is a part of every guy who would be hella pissed/frustrated if their needs weren't met and who would go to great lengths to get what they want. That's been my experience anyway. For example, in my fetish world I am often approached by married men and when I ask about it they just say their wives don't give them what they want and they married them knowing this. It's begun to make me very wary of the men who approach me now.

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Originally Posted by Rebecca View Post
I haven't noticed the lack of "feedees" but then again, I am a feedee and such mention probably stands out to me. It seems, to me, like everyone has something to say about feedees. That we're victims. That we're always submissive...or I should say passive...in the role. That we're brainwashed. That we LET ourselves be abused. That when we are women, we can't be feminists too because somehow the two roles have become mutually exclusive....
I hadn't noticed a lack of feedees, but then I wasn't exactly looking for it either. I just assumed they *must* be there. I suppose we all see what we choose to see.

People who don't understand BDSM say the same things about female submissives. Somehow you can't be a feminist and a sub...utter bullshit. It would seem to me that many would think any woman with a fetish is somehow broken for having it. It's a shame that we as a society just haven't been able to get past this idea that a woman can choose her own sexual fantasies and identities all by herself.


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Originally Posted by Fuzzy Necromancer View Post
Well, it makes me feel a little creepy and relationally lopsided. All that stuff about intimidating feeders and feeders swamping new feedees with requests or obsessing about feeding, and the fact that feeders need feedees to be fulfilled but feedees don't need feeders. Everybody likes to feel wanted/needed. =/
Fuzzy, you can't be worried about this stuff. Do what you do. Every feedee will have a slightly different take on it. As will many feeders. Lilly is just one person. I'm sure that if you just hang on to what you like, a person will come along who matches you, and even then as the relationship progresses and your experience level increases you may find that the aspects that drew you in no longer interest you. That's certainly happened to me with BDSM. Some things I never thought I'd ever do now intrigue and excite me. Anyhow, I've dipped my toes into that vat of ice cream and found it lacking without a feeder. I also discovered I really needed it to be wrapped up in an D/s context. Without that context I was just having a piece of ordinary cake. Eh. Now that I am without a Dom, it's just something I'm not interested in. When I get a new one, we'll see.


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Originally Posted by Fuzzy Necromancer View Post
I know they exist. I just think it's strange that you don't hear about feedees as a general concept much in these forums.

It's also odd, considering that feedees can engage in their fetish without feeders, you don't see them discussed on their own. The word "feedee" is usually only used when your talking about feeders.

LillyBBW: alright. =/ I jus thave a strong sense of sexual inferiority sometimes, and when people say things bad about feeders in general I read that into bad things about all feeders everywhere, especially me.
Do consider that the sexual nature of this site attracts random silent lurking male FAs - as do many internet sites with sexual content. It's just bound to draw more feeders than feedees. Rather more men interested in discussing their sexual needs and desires (read sexual birthright).

FYI, people say all kinds of bad things about people who are into SM. I just have to laugh at the sterotypes. Clearly the things they say are based at the least on plain stupidity and at best on a lack of intellectual curiosity. I can't worry about that stuff....I do understand wanting to not hear such negative mierda, but you know it will be so with any fetish. All you can do for the sake of your own sanity is just shrug it off till it comes times to HAVE to defend yourself if something like your job is on the line or child services comes knocking on your door.

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Originally Posted by Les Toil View Post
I know this is going to sound pretty sobering but maybe the number of existing feedees is diminishing for the sole reason that the health problems that come with weight gain are outweighing the erotic positives. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out a BBW or SSBBW with any particular body pains or issues isn't going to want to compound those problems by satisfying their lover's fantasies or the fantasies of complete strangers on the net--or even their own erotic desires.

I'm also assuming most of the dudes here that see pics or videos on the Paysite Board of women consuming entire roasts or chickens in one sitting realize they're not consuming in such volume outside of a photo/video shoot. I'm thinking the tide has changed in the direction of women placing their physical well-being before others erotic desires.
I think it's just that the feedees are outnumbered. And as Lilly stated, illnesses or experiences or feelings of guilt or addiction or whatever just don't make your desires go away.
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Old 09-15-2008, 04:09 PM   #38
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Originally Posted by LillyBBBW View Post
No. Becoming ill does not make ones desires go away. One may not actively participate in feeding due to health concerns but the desires still exist and always will.
I agree. After I gave up smoking, my desire to smoke never disappeared. I still knew what was best for my body and continued to stay away from cigarettes. I'm just thinking that women who imbide in feederism are now weighing the pros and cons of what it's doing to their bodies. And I'm still convinced it's the attention and the praises the feedees get from feeders that are the addictive factors. The erotic desires are mainly what the feeders are experiencing.

I've ALWAYS wanted to see the tables turn and see the feeder suddenly become the feedee. That strikes me as a VERY fair and loving relationship.
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Old 09-15-2008, 04:14 PM   #39
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I agree. After I gave up smoking, my desire to smoke never disappeared. I still knew what was best for my body and continued to stay away from cigarettes. I'm just thinking that women who imbide in feederism are now weighing the pros and cons of what it's doing to their bodies. And I'm still convinced it's the attention and the praises the feedees get from feeders that are the addictive factors. The erotic desires are mainly what the feeders are experiencing.

I've ALWAYS wanted to see the tables turn and see the feeder suddenly become the feedee. That strikes me as a VERY fair and loving relationship.
...well there ya go saying the feedees don't have desires of their own origins....what's up with that Les? There is a difference between faking a desire and a willingness to please your partner. Please don't confuse the two.
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Old 09-16-2008, 05:18 AM   #40
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I agree. After I gave up smoking, my desire to smoke never disappeared. I still knew what was best for my body and continued to stay away from cigarettes. I'm just thinking that women who imbide in feederism are now weighing the pros and cons of what it's doing to their bodies. And I'm still convinced it's the attention and the praises the feedees get from feeders that are the addictive factors. The erotic desires are mainly what the feeders are experiencing.

I've ALWAYS wanted to see the tables turn and see the feeder suddenly become the feedee. That strikes me as a VERY fair and loving relationship.
Smoking is an addiction, being a feedee is not. Basically what you have with a feedee is an FA only the desire is directed towards one's self. Not only do we enjoy the feel of fullness but the look as well, the more the better. A feedee cannot deny his/her desires any more than you can deny your desires for fat or deny your artistic leanings. Blindness, impotence and degenerative arthritis of the hands may stop you in your tracks but it won't affect your head. You seem convinced that feedees are merely shills at the whims of a wo/man's desire but that is not always the case. Contrary to common belief every thing a man or a woman does is not adopted as a means to attract a mate. The fact that it does is merely a bonus -- or a curse, depending on how you look at it. In any event, my being fat and enjoying being stuffed has nothing to do with any of the men here. This was the case long before I was even aware of the existence of FA's/feeders or could complete whole sentences. I'm sure there are people with harrowing tales of trying to adapt to someone else's fancy but they don't speak for the rest of us.
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Old 09-16-2008, 12:17 PM   #41
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Originally Posted by Les Toil View Post
And I'm still convinced it's the attention and the praises the feedees get from feeders that are the addictive factors. The erotic desires are mainly what the feeders are experiencing.
I completely disagree. You're convinced of this by what? Your own convictions? Have you talked to someone that's oriented as a feedee? Had a friend? Been involved with someone?

Not to be harsh, but this sounds 1. very typical rhetoric about the fetish and 2. like you really don't know what you're talking about.

The opposite is actually happening for some feedee-oriented women. Just this week I totally lied about it because I don't want attention from feeders. HA HA, I'm the one that wins, and the desire is STILL HERE even if NO ONE is encouraging it.
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Old 09-16-2008, 12:39 PM   #42
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I completely disagree. You're convinced of this by what? Your own convictions? Have you talked to someone that's oriented as a feedee? Had a friend? Been involved with someone?

Not to be harsh, but this sounds 1. very typical rhetoric about the fetish and 2. like you really don't know what you're talking about.

The opposite is actually happening for some feedee-oriented women. Just this week I totally lied about it because I don't want attention from feeders. HA HA, I'm the one that wins, and the desire is STILL HERE even if NO ONE is encouraging it.
I'm in agreement with AFG's startlement about that, Les. Not from a female point of view for me obviously, and I've never really practiced either way to any significant degree, but.....erotic desire is real for me on both sides of the feedism coin, and I'm pretty sure the feedee side has the more intense erotic feelings. *shrug*

Also I've talked with way too many women who have enjoyed feeding themselves to think it is only something they do because of encouragement. Some of them have gained more with net encouragement, but a lot had gained a lot already on their own.
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Old 09-17-2008, 01:08 AM   #43
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For me and me alone:

1. The role of the feeder (not to mention the feeder him/herself) is very important for me. Sure, sure, I can eat and even stuff on my own and it's pleasurable, but it isn't the same as sharing it. I could never count out a feeder in the equation. However, I don't think one side of the fetish needs the other in order to be justified--fulfilled maybe, but not justified.

2. Weight gain can't always be a reality, sometimes it has to be fantasy. I can't make my body lose weight and I can't make it gain...I mean at any given moment. I can do the things that cause weight loss and/or weight gain and hope it goes well, but sometimes it does the exact opposite. No idea why. So...I take it for granted that sometimes the gain will only be a fantasy and learn to love it when it's a reality.

3. I don't get off on the attention. Attention paid by someone I care about is nice, but I get off on the intimacy of eating, on limit/boundary pushing, on decadence, on being stuffed and feeling a food high, and on the weight gain itself--not just the way my body changes, but on my sheer size.

And, Fuzzy, every relationship is give and take; it isn't a situation that's reserved only for feeders/feedees. Don't beat yourself up too much over your desires...not everyone you share them with will feel like the victim of them and you aren't hurting anyone anyway.
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Old 09-17-2008, 05:29 PM   #44
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I'll comment here, because hey why not.

Fuzzy - Take it from me, feeders are like anyone else, some good and some bad. The good ones just need to be a bit more vocal usually. As for finding feedees, I've dated a girl who was a feedee (two if you count one who just came out about it) so they are not hard to find, Rebecca said she was one (sorry to use you as an example, new here so using what resources I have). I have noticed that some women tend to be shy about it, as some bad stories do come out about feeders. But trust me, you'll find a girl who shares your interests someday, just be patient my friend.
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Old 09-17-2008, 07:50 PM   #45
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Fuzzy knows I'm a feedee

And, I'm sorry if I got this wrong, but I was thinking he was saying not that we don't exist at all but that we're often invisible--either because we don't wear feedee buttons or because people gloss over our role or because the feeder's role is seen as dominant and more important.

dude, I totally want a feedee button.

*off to make some flair*
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Old 09-17-2008, 07:55 PM   #46
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I can forsee a new brand of items now, feedee items like shirts, buttons etc, makes me chuckle heh.
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Old 09-17-2008, 08:06 PM   #47
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While I was making the buttons, I did a Google image search for the term "feedee" and my photo showed up on the 2nd page. Neato.
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Old 09-17-2008, 08:10 PM   #48
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Your an internet celebrity, rock on.
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Old 09-17-2008, 11:36 PM   #49
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*cautiously puts hand up* Male Feedee...
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Old 09-18-2008, 04:45 AM   #50
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While I was making the buttons, I did a Google image search for the term "feedee" and my photo showed up on the 2nd page. Neato.
I love the purple one!
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