walk off a blind date

[Davastav]

I have had this on occasion and there is nothing really you can do about it...I mean my criteria for going on a blind date in the first place is to have a few nice phone conversations and we probably since we are dealing with the internet we will have seen pics of ourselves leaving very little to chance. Of course people lie and dont post recent pics of themselves etc and...But walking off a blind date is pretty rude since I most probably have invested some time and effort to prepare for the date and Im sure the other person did as well.

[pagan22]

I would stand him up.

[gangstadawg]

Originally Posted by AnnMarie

I would never, ever meet a person without seeing pictures first. In this day and age, there is no excuse for not having some pictures of yourself for emailing to people.

exactly. now if a woman has one picture that she says is her and then you go out on a date with her and it turns out that the pic of her online is not hers at all thats grounds for walking off the date.

[bexy]

Originally Posted by pagan22

I would stand him up.

that's quite heartless....how would you feel if it was done to you? I sure wouldn't wish it on anyone.

[pagan22]

Originally Posted by bexylicious

that's quite heartless....how would you feel if it was done to you? I sure wouldn't wish it on anyone.

Good lord.

This is the age of digital communication. If a guy looks completely different than a picture he sent to me, I'd be pissed and leave him hanging. If he lied about appearance, then he'll lie about other things and it's not worth my time.

All things considered, if we never webcammed, then the chances of meeting face to face are null.

[Green Eyed Fairy]

Originally Posted by bexylicious

that's quite heartless....how would you feel if it was done to you? I sure wouldn't wish it on anyone.

Well Bexy...look at it this way....if they are so easy to not care about the feelings of others....or are more concerned about the way you look more than anything else that they can't even spend another hour or two in the simple, polite company of another human being, why would you care if they did walk away?
Sure if someone totally misrepresented themselves and put up a false picture of a totally different person, then that might be grounds to end the date because you shouldn't have to be misled. However, if they don't look EXACTLY like their picture, I don't get it....because some people are just not photogenic, some manage to look better in pictures....or some people just change.
You never really know what you are getting in a photo....and I'm not sure why EVERYTHING is contingent upon one.

Oh...and I wonder, who here looks good in every single photo taken? I know I sure don't......and yeah, I post my "best pics" on this forum.
People have met me in reality from these forums....they were all able to recognize me...but do you think I am going to post a pic of myself from first thing in the morning and I haven't brushed my hair? People don't always look fabulous all the time- it's just part of being a human being to me.

[jewels_mystery]

Originally Posted by pagan22

Good lord.

This is the age of digital communication. If a guy looks completely different than a picture he sent to me, I'd be pissed and leave him hanging. If he lied about appearance, then he'll lie about other things and it's not worth my time.

All things considered, if we never webcammed, then the chances of meeting face to face are null.

I kind of agree with this. My friend who has gotten stood up isn't quite honest about her appearance. All her online pictures are shoulders up. When she is asked about her weight, she dances around the subject. She is beautiful to me and I tell her to be honest.

[Green Eyed Fairy]

Originally Posted by jewels_mystery

I kind of agree with this. My friend who has gotten stood up isn't quite honest about her appearance. All her online pictures are shoulders up. When she is asked about her weight, she dances around the subject. She is beautiful to me and I tell her to be honest.

I can agree with the weight part- I only list myself at bbw dating sites- in other words, if they don't dig fat girls, then I won't even try to pretend I am thin. I'm not......

[jewels_mystery]

Originally Posted by Green Eyed Fairy

I can agree with the weight part- I only list myself at bbw dating sites- in other words, if they don't dig fat girls, then I won't even try to pretend I am thin. I'm not......

I am the same way. My profiles are only on bbw sites. I will only date an FA. I don't have the time to convince or train someone to like me. My friend really tries to point out her good points to her prospective dates. I tell her we all have a right to be attracted to a certain type.

[Admiral_Snackbar]

Originally Posted by AnnMarie

I would never, ever meet a person without seeing pictures first. In this day and age, there is no excuse for not having some pictures of yourself for emailing to people.

Well, in the long long ago (late 90s) when I was still dating, photos were a rarity. Webcams were pricey, the idea of going into Walgreens to scan in a picture, let alone download it from your camera was a fantasy and to be honest I think many people were wary of putting their mug out there on the sub-ether. There's still a prejudice out there that some people have putting personal information online, even in a group community; there are people who think guys like myself and F-M Stan putting pics of our kids on here is just too risky. Whatever.

I did find out two universal truths to the "no picture" issue: 1) They were not photogenic or were particularly attractive in the empirical sense and 2) Sometimes no picture is better than a Glamour Shot. I categorically refused to accept a GS picture as proof of appearance, since in at least 50% of the cases it was never who that person looked like in NormalLife(tm). I'd rather not have hopes raised and be completely surprised when this photo looks nothing like who I am sitting across from.

I do agree with bexy though, I always concluded the date, never walked out on someone. That to me is just reprehensible, as is the individual asking for oral, or commenting on some other aspect of intimacy or interests as were mentioned earlier. One wonders how someone can be one person online but completely different (and weirder) in person.

And as a firm believer in the 80/20 rule (Sturgeon's Law), I know that historically, I was able to determine within the first 10-20 minutes of that first date if this person was worth seeing again. Allusions to a) the restraining order against your ex husband who MAY BE STALKING YOU THIS VERY MINUTE, b) the mysterious pregnancy and paternity test results you were waiting for after that frat party gangbang you thought needed to be mentioned or c) the fact you've had 50 dates this year but no second dates is often a good sign that it's time to call it a night.

I do not miss dating whatsoever. Pain. In. The. Ass.

[Rowan]

*raises hand* I just want to take this opportunity to say that i look the same in real life as I do online....bexy can easily attest to this (well on my webcam anyway lol)

but no..i dont think i'd stand them up, I'd feel absolutely horrible about it later. How bad i'd feel about it later isnt worth the half hour of discomfort I might have to spend time with the person.

[bexy]

Originally Posted by Green Eyed Fairy

Well Bexy...look at it this way....if they are so easy to not care about the feelings of others....or are more concerned about the way you look more than anything else that they can't even spend another hour or two in the simple, polite company of another human being, why would you care if they did walk away?

eh, thats true. its just the poor sucker sitting in the restaurant I would worry about

But of course, if misrepresentation has played a part, and the person is completely different than in their picture, that is going to be different.
I still couldn't completely stand someone up, I would probably go through with the date and ask why they lied...

[thatgirl08]

There's a difference between putting up the best pictures of yourself, and making yourself look completely different. I mean, if you get to the date and someone looks somewhat different than their pictures, that's not really a lie, and I don't think it justifies leaving. Maybe their teeth looked a little whiter in the pictures, or you thought they were a little more blonde..that's not really a big deal. But, if I showed up for a date expecting a guy who is muscular and 6'5" and I'm greeted by someone who's 5'6" and 140 pounds..I'm not going to be happy, because well, that's a totally different thing. If someone is being purposely deceitful (i.e. using pictures from when they were younger, using photoshop or other programs to edit their pictures, taking pictures that make them look like they weigh half of what they really do, etc.) I think that justifies leaving the date. But, little differences really shouldn't be a big deal.

[Sandie_Zitkus]

Originally Posted by AnnMarie

I would never, ever meet a person without seeing pictures first. In this day and age, there is no excuse for not having some pictures of yourself for emailing to people.

What she said. And yes, I have walked out on a blind date. Sue me.

[bexy]

Originally Posted by Sandie_Zitkus

What she said. And yes, I have walked out on a blind date. Sue me.

walked out or stood up??

if I was having a crappy date or the guy was a perv, of course I would leave!!
its the whole walk in, look at them, and leave without even saying hello, leaving them sitting there that makes me sad.

but if a guy is a total a-hole, then I would make my excuses and go, knowing I had given it a chance.

thats why you get a friend to text or call you with an "emergency situation" lol.

but if I thought someone had walked into the bar or whatever, seen me, thought EWWW and left, that would break my heart...er go I would never do it to someone else.

[mossystate]

If a man had really...really...really lied about what he looked like, I might sit down, tell him I think it was not a nice thing to do...then I would say " guess what I lied about "....this assuming that we had talked a bit before meeting.

Make it a fun game!

But, nah, I would not walk if it seemed like the man was just not quite as sparkly as a pic he had shown. If it is extreme...then I might pause...and, I might even walk. How uncomfortable it would be to sit down and act as if nothing was a lil...off. If I did walk, I would probably get in touch to tell the guy why I did not show. I would not want him to think it was not because of him.

[snuggletiger]

To just walk away like the OP suggests, just sounds too heartless and shallow.

[thatgirl08]

Originally Posted by mossystate

If I did walk, I would probably get in touch to tell the guy why I did not show. I would not want him to think it was not because of him.

I would do the same thing!

[gangstadawg]

Originally Posted by mossystate

If a man had really...really...really lied about what he looked like, I might sit down, tell him I think it was not a nice thing to do...then I would say " guess what I lied about "....this assuming that we had talked a bit before meeting.

Make it a fun game!

But, nah, I would not walk if it seemed like the man was just not quite as sparkly as a pic he had shown. If it is extreme...then I might pause...and, I might even walk. How uncomfortable it would be to sit down and act as if nothing was a lil...off. If I did walk, I would probably get in touch to tell the guy why I did not show. I would not want him to think it was not because of him.

here is a way to be a real asshole. if he or she lied to you about appearance (like using the pic of someone else) lie and say one of these 2 things.

1: lie and say you have AIDS. deliverery of how its said could make it funnier.

2: this one a woman should use but basically tell the dude that your really a man. you can spin it to be pre-op or post op surgery if you want to add that to it.

[ashmamma84]

Originally Posted by gangstadawg

here is a way to be a real asshole. if he or she lied to you about appearance (like using the pic of someone else) lie and say one of these 2 things.

1: lie and say you have AIDS. deliverery of how its said could make it funnier.

2: this one a woman should use but basically tell the dude that your really a man. you can spin it to be pre-op or post op surgery if you want to add that to it.

Don't mean to be bitchy but...

What is funny about having AIDS and why would anyone lie about having it? I guess I'm missing the boat on that one...

[bexy]

Originally Posted by gangstadawg

here is a way to be a real asshole. if he or she lied to you about appearance (like using the pic of someone else) lie and say one of these 2 things.

1: lie and say you have AIDS. deliverery of how its said could make it funnier.

2: this one a woman should use but basically tell the dude that your really a man. you can spin it to be pre-op or post op surgery if you want to add that to it.

yes, because lying about having AIDS is the height of comedic genius

[gangstadawg]

Originally Posted by ashmamma84

Don't mean to be bitchy but...

What is funny about having AIDS and why would anyone lie about having it? I guess I'm missing the boat on that one...

hey if the person lied about there appearance then a lil revenge is in order. its one thing if the picture of you online is a little out of date but its another thing when that picture isnt you at all.

[ashmamma84]

Originally Posted by gangstadawg

hey if the person lied about there appearance then a lil revenge is in order.

That's not revenge though, at least in my eyes. And somehow you think lying about one's appearance is the same as lying about a deadly disease? Does.Not.Compute.

People with AIDS aren't lepers and surely they deserve more respect than that.

[bexy]

Originally Posted by gangstadawg

hey if the person lied about there appearance then a lil revenge is in order. its one thing if the picture of you online is a little out of date but its another thing when that picture isnt you at all.

surely the for the "revenge" a simple, "I'm not going out with you as you lied to me" would suffice...

[gangstadawg]

Originally Posted by ashmamma84

That's not revenge though, at least in my eyes. And somehow you think lying about one's appearance is the same as lying about a deadly disease? Does.Not.Compute.

People with AIDS aren't lepers and surely they deserve more respect than that.

thats not exactly what im trying to do. the tactic is called ending the date. the point of saying you have AIDS is for the dater that did the wrong thing first is to get them to stop the date and trust me that would do it because the first thing thats gonna go through the persons head is " AWW SHIT!" and the date should come to a screeching halt.

BUT since some of you seem to be getting a lil pissed ill come up with another one.

so basically scratch the AIDS one.