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Old 10-10-2008, 04:27 AM   #76
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Hmm..Its such a shame that bi-sexual people feel like this. I think what it could be is that Lesbians have maby got hurt by bi-"curious" girls in the past. When i think about it i have slept with much more "straight" women than "lesbians" which might sound weird or strange but its true. This was a long time ago and was actually i think now some sort of self sabotaging excercise and although i really didnt care i think there are people who's feelings might have gotten hurt in the past who blame all bisexuals. hmm.. maby! I think there is a big need to seperate bi-sexual people from bi-curious people in the eyes of the gay community.
I think there are those who think bi-sexual means;
If there are no guys i'll fuck a women.
My Boyfriend wants me to sleep with a woman while he watches.
i kinna thought about sleeping with a woman in a fantasy so i might as well do it but i have no intention of ever being with a woman spiritually, emotionally etc. (reverse this if you are a guy btw).
I think these myths need to be shattered!
My gf (she should be comming to Dims soon btw! lol) is 37 and hadnt really been with any women until me. I think if i'm honest i felt a slight niggle about this. This was only because i had recently had a pretty bad experience, which is far too long to go into where i really called into question whether the person i was seeing actually was bi or if they just liked my brain and soul. I know to like someones brain and soul is an awsome and beautiful thing.. though really if i'm honest ..i would also prefer if someone liked my tits too! I can get on board with soul and brain loving and i have lots of friends with whom i do that kind of loving.
Anyway...(am i rambling btw??) I think at first with my gf i was worried things would be the same but thankfully they wernt. She loves my sweet ass MORE than my shitty personality!! lmao.
Anyay. my point is.. maby the reason the gay community is wary of bi-sexuals is because they confuse them with bi-curious peeps. Though i think there is a lot of bi bashing by the old school traditionalists which i dont see much of in my experiences though from what Ashmamma is saying this traditionalism seems to be prevailant int the black lesbian community.

P.s George, you should join in! Dont be shy! I know what you mean about the word "tranny" it conjours up so many creepy images. There is a guy where i live who wears old lady clothes that all match..red ,shoes,skirt,gloves (with hairy hands poking out) top and a red hat with fruit on it.. i was sitting beside him on the bus a while ago and he started to put make up on on the bus.. and i just wanted to say to him.. "women hardly ever do that"!!! Though in saying that i used to have a friend (a boy and actually another one from the one i chatted about earlier) who was hot with punky blue hair and used to share clothes with me as well as buying his own stuff and i used to get jealous cause my dresses looked better on him and he had much better taste than me! Bastard! So on one hand I much prefer sexy stylish boys in dresses but on the other hand they just better not be hotter than me in them!! Though i hardly ever wear dresses anyway so its all cool!

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Old 10-10-2008, 05:17 AM   #77
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I think you have a point Mer. I know a lot of people that think that people who claim to be bisexual are really just "confused" or can't make up their mind.
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Old 10-10-2008, 05:25 AM   #78
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Hi I am this George that Bexy speaks off *waves*

As bexy says I hate the terms, crossdresser, tranny etc etc as I dont think I should be labeled by what I like to wear, women wear mens clothes all the time and they are not called trannys, its just the norm so why are things so different for men?? I hate all terms that label people into groups I even hate being called an FA lol.
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Old 10-10-2008, 05:26 AM   #79
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Originally Posted by george83 View Post
Hi I am this George that Bexy speaks off *waves*

As bexy says I hate the terms, crossdresser, tranny etc etc as I dont think I should be labeled by what I like to wear, women wear mens clothes all the time and they are not called trannys, its just the norm so why are things so different for men?? I hate all terms that label people into groups I even hate being called an FA lol.

Hi George. So happy you are here. We love your Bexy.
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Old 10-10-2008, 05:29 AM   #80
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Hi George. So happy you are here. We love your Bexy.
Everyone seems to, I'm just here to fight them off lol.
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Old 10-10-2008, 05:40 AM   #81
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I only accepted the term "bisexual' for myself a year or so ago. From the time I was a very small child, I've been attracted to females. All of my Barbies were lesbians. Ken had no legs...didn't matter how many Ken dolls I got, somehow I always lost his legs, but it didn't matter. Barbie always dated Barbie. It wasn't until I was 15 that I realized I found boys attractive too. Don't get me wrong, I learned what was "normal" and always had outward boycrushes and inward girlcrushes, but I was all about the womenz until I was 15. There was a boy in my math class who had a girl butt--all round and bubbly. One day, he was sharpening his pencil and it made his hips and butt wiggle...I, uh, realized then and there that boys could be attractive, too. My first serious relationship was with a woman, as was the corresponding sexual relationship and the eventual first terrible heart break. I was kind of devastated by it and sort of drifted toward men for a long time but I've dated women since and even found love with one.

The thing is I just always figured I was omnisexual--not so much bisexual. But...I adopted the term a while back and it works. I'm not confused, I'm just open.
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Old 10-10-2008, 06:04 AM   #82
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Originally Posted by george83 View Post
Hi I am this George that Bexy speaks off *waves*

As bexy says I hate the terms, crossdresser, tranny etc etc as I dont think I should be labeled by what I like to wear, women wear mens clothes all the time and they are not called trannys, its just the norm so why are things so different for men?? I hate all terms that label people into groups I even hate being called an FA lol.
whoot! welcome George. Yeah. i know what you mean about not wanting to be labled. I think its just the fashion of the moment that means that women dont get labled as "trannies" when they wear clothes that people would say are more male gender orientated because it is seen as socially acceptable for women to wear trousers n stuff, though thats a pretty recent thing historically speaking. If you look through history (AND herstory ) It was the case a lot of the time where it was the male who would wear the eye catching clothes, the ruffles and tights and dresses etc. If you look at nature its usually the male of the species who gets to be the colourful one too. I think we are just living in a particularaly boring time for boys clotheswise at the mo! Tis a shame! Glad you joined us.

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Old 10-10-2008, 06:13 AM   #83
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whoot! welcome George. Yeah. i know what you mean about not wanting to be labled. I think its just the fashion of the moment that means that women dont get labled as "trannies" when they wear clothes that people would say are more male gender orientated because it is seen as socially acceptable for women to wear trousers n stuff, though thats a pretty recent thing historically speaking. If you look through history (AND herstory ) It was the case a lot of the time where it was the male who would wear the eye catching clothes, the ruffles and tights and dresses etc. If you look at nature its usually the male of the species who gets to be the colourful one too. I think we are just living in a particularaly boring time for boys clotheswise at the mo! Tis a shame! Glad you joined us.

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Yea I know, Heels were infact made for men so they could keep their feet in the stirrups on their saddle. But sadly over the years women stole them for their own lol.

If you go into any high street store and look at the male clothes and then the female clothes the male clothes are sooooooo boring comparred to the female.

Male clothes are all the same were the girls are all so exciting and so many different styles, It really is not fair lol.
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Old 10-10-2008, 06:15 AM   #84
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I only accepted the term "bisexual' for myself a year or so ago. From the time I was a very small child, I've been attracted to females. All of my Barbies were lesbians. Ken had no legs...didn't matter how many Ken dolls I got, somehow I always lost his legs, but it didn't matter. Barbie always dated Barbie. It wasn't until I was 15 that I realized I found boys attractive too. Don't get me wrong, I learned what was "normal" and always had outward boycrushes and inward girlcrushes, but I was all about the womenz until I was 15. There was a boy in my math class who had a girl butt--all round and bubbly. One day, he was sharpening his pencil and it made his hips and butt wiggle...I, uh, realized then and there that boys could be attractive, too. My first serious relationship was with a woman, as was the corresponding sexual relationship and the eventual first terrible heart break. I was kind of devastated by it and sort of drifted toward men for a long time but I've dated women since and even found love with one.

The thing is I just always figured I was omnisexual--not so much bisexual. But...I adopted the term a while back and it works. I'm not confused, I'm just open.
I love the line "All my barbies were lesbians, all my kens had no legs"!! can my friend steal it for her riot grrl band?? lol
Its interesting to hear someone talk about bi-sexuality from the perspective of knowing they found women attractive first and then decided that boys could be sexy too. A lot of the bi women i have talked to have said they reached a point or they had this moment of realisation where they knew they were attracted to women too. I think the "gay" feelings can end up secondary because of society and discourses available to people. Like if people live in small towns or places where there isnt a queer community it might be harder to find women who are gay/bi and therefor being with males would just be what was done. I imagine in that situation exploring your bi-sexuality might not be easy and could also be repressed for fear of social reprocussions. I guess if you were actually gay you might feel that you had to move to be near somewhere with a queer community or else live a lie or be alone.
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Old 10-10-2008, 06:23 AM   #85
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Yea I know, Heels were infact made for men so they could keep their feet in the stirrups on their saddle. But sadly over the years women stole them for their own lol.

If you go into any high street store and look at the male clothes and then the female clothes the male clothes are sooooooo boring comparred to the female.

Male clothes are all the same were the girls are all so exciting and so many different styles, It really is not fair lol.
really? Thats an interesting high heel fact! lol. yeah..its funny the way fashion seems to have a life of its own. Boy clothes are boring, i wonder why thats the case? Did someone just decide that at some point that boy clothes were to be t-shirts and jeans mainly and boring variations of that. Though being scottish i see lots of men wearing kilts for weddings n stuff-which are actually just skirts but are seen as very manly and sexy, plus you get the guys in Africa who wear the robe things that look like colourful dresses too.. so maby its to do with geography too..
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Old 10-10-2008, 06:32 AM   #86
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really? Thats an interesting high heel fact! lol. yeah..its funny the way fashion seems to have a life of its own. Boy clothes are boring, i wonder why thats the case? Did someone just decide that at some point that boy clothes were to be t-shirts and jeans mainly and boring variations of that. Though being scottish i see lots of men wearing kilts for weddings n stuff-which are actually just skirts but are seen as very manly and sexy, plus you get the guys in Africa who wear the robe things that look like colourful dresses too.. so maby its to do with geography too..
Yea according to wiki anyway lol.

Another fact from Wiki

Quote:
Around 1660, a shoemaker named Nicholas Lestage designed high heeled shoes for Louis XIV. Some were more than four inches, and most were decorated in various battle scenes. The resulting high "Louis heels" subsequently became fashionable for ladies.
Funny how things change over the years lol.

I dont know why mens clothes are boring comparred to womens, but things are staring to change for the good like boots selling makeup for men and male body hair removal cream.

So hopefuly primark will start selling bras/skirts/dresses for men lol *dreams on*
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Old 10-10-2008, 06:43 AM   #87
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I have always been open to the possibility anything can and will happen. You can't control what feelings may pop up but you can control the way you might act on them. The way I make my friends is on the ability to accept who they are as a person, Not the way they live their lifesyle. Everyone is human and deserves to be happy in anyway they choose to live their life.

I Love this thread and all those who support it.
*bats eyes , thought bubbles dancing around *
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Old 10-10-2008, 06:54 AM   #88
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Hi I am this George that Bexy speaks off *waves*

As bexy says I hate the terms, crossdresser, tranny etc etc as I dont think I should be labeled by what I like to wear, women wear mens clothes all the time and they are not called trannys, its just the norm so why are things so different for men?? I hate all terms that label people into groups I even hate being called an FA lol.
What the deuce....where did you spring from lol!?
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Old 10-10-2008, 06:59 AM   #89
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If you go into any high street store and look at the male clothes and then the female clothes the male clothes are sooooooo boring comparred to the female.

Male clothes are all the same were the girls are all so exciting and so many different styles, It really is not fair lol.
This I agree with about. It's part of why I like shopping for my wife (plus I enjoy seeing her in new clothes more than I enjoy wearing new clothes )
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Old 10-10-2008, 07:01 AM   #90
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I've questioned my own sexuality, at times. Though I predominantly see myself as romantically attracted to men, physically I can become aroused by women (I've read that this is common among "straight" women). And there have been times that I've flirted with lesbians at clubs and found myself really drawn to them, wanted to kiss them and take it further...but nothing ever progressed from those encounters. Does this make me gay? Bi-curious? I don't know. My sense is that human sexuality is so much more fluid and varied than people seem to want to accept, even those whose sexuality is decidedly outside of traditionally-accepted gender roles, as evidenced by several of the comments in this thread. I'm glad that I can acknowledge this desire without too much angst, unlike virtually every straight man I know and probably a lot of straight women, too.
Ok, so I came back. Somebody Repped me for a post in here and I came to see and have been lured back into the fray by this post. There is an actual name for this Lala, though I can't remember what it is. It describes a woman who is intrinsically attracted to men and can make out with women but with no action below the belt. I don't know if the term applies to men as well but I would assume it does. I vowed to remember the term when it was told to me but with my mind, the seive that it is, I forgot. The term would aptly describe me though. If I remember what that's called I'll post.
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Old 10-10-2008, 07:03 AM   #91
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I just wanted to add that I love this thread even more now, as it managed to entice my cutie pie into posting Which was one of the points of the thread.
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Old 10-10-2008, 07:05 AM   #92
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Itís been an interesting turn that this thread has taken, I think. I have just a couple of quick thoughts on this whole discussion of gender and sexuality.

One is that I recall a study coming out maybe a year ago, based on doing brain scans while people looked at pictures of people. It concluded more or less that women seem to have a very graduated sexuality, with very few being entirely homo or heterosexual and many really being attracted to both genders, no matter how they reported their sexuality going into the experiment. With the men they found pretty much the opposite, that no matter how they reported their sexuality they responded primarily to only one of the genders, with almost no incidence of roughly equal attraction to both. How valid that experiment was, I donít know, and Iím afraid I donít have any references available on it either. I have to say that I found the results on men rather surprising, since there are certainly a fair number of men who identify as bisexual, I think.

The other is that we often get told, in essence, choose one of four boxes: female and heterosexual, male and heterosexual, female and homosexual, male and homosexual. Period. I illustrate that with some MS-Paint art in one of the attachments. Based on that model Iíd say Iím a heterosexual male. But I really do think that both sexuality and gender identity are more of a spectrum, and that while some people might have a pretty narrow range in both areas, I think lots of peopleís identities sprawl a lot more than that. The other attachment illustrates things as a spectrum without boxes, and on it I mark roughly how I think of my identity.

I know that we end up needing labels because we need to compress these complex realities into something more communicable. I don't have a problem with people liking to put labels on things, I think it is normal, natural, and even probably essential. But insisting that the world actually lines up with the labels we use, especially the most simple labeling system, seems rather childish to me.
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Old 10-10-2008, 07:11 AM   #93
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Originally Posted by LillyBBBW View Post
Ok, so I came back. Somebody Repped me for a post in here and I came to see and have been lured back into the fray by this post. There is an actual name for this Lala, though I can't remember what it is. It describes a woman who is intrinsically attracted to men and can make out with women but with no action below the belt. I don't know if the term applies to men as well but I would assume it does. I vowed to remember the term when it was told to me but with my mind, the seive that it is, I forgot. The term would aptly describe me though. If I remember what that's called I'll post.
hmm thats interesting. There are so many layers of sexuality that only a few actually get defined. I identify a bit to this with my attraction to men though to varying degrees. I actually think this sexuality describes the majority of women who would describe themselves as hetrosexual (though once you remember the word i can tell them to start using it!! lmao) Most of the women i know say they find women attractive and can happily engage utterly emotionally with a woman and could probs even imagine to some degree being intimate with a woman (though not always sexual). Maby This is an evolutionary thing.. hmm who knows.. tis V interesting anyhow.

xmer
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Old 10-10-2008, 07:12 AM   #94
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People are forever coining terms/labels for people, and I read the term Fauxmosexuality today. Lindsay Lohan was being referred to in the article, and it was referring to it being trendy to be a lesbian in certain circles.

I cant find the article to provide a link though.
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Old 10-10-2008, 07:14 AM   #95
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Originally Posted by bexylicious View Post
I just wanted to add that I love this thread even more now, as it managed to entice my cutie pie into posting Which was one of the points of the thread.
Agreed! This is my favorite thred so far i think, well after the "dos you woman has stronger legs that you?" thred! That was brilliant!
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Old 10-10-2008, 07:17 AM   #96
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Originally Posted by Susannah View Post
People are forever coining terms/labels for people, and I read the term Fauxmosexuality today. Lindsay Lohan was being referred to in the article, and it was referring to it being trendy to be a lesbian in certain circles.

I cant find the article to provide a link though.
oh yeah.. is that kinna like "lipstick lesbian"? or does that just mean "femme" ? i really need to keep up to date on my lesbian terms! Its funny that being a lesbian seems to be fashionable now..its great that shows like "The L word" are around.. when just 10 years ago people were up in arms about a lesbian kiss and wouldnt show it before the 9pm watershed. It seems crazy now!
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Old 10-10-2008, 07:20 AM   #97
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And Edx-thats study sounds really interesting. I dont find that all that surprising.
brilliant post sir!

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Old 10-10-2008, 07:32 AM   #98
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Originally Posted by mergirl View Post
hmm thats interesting. There are so many layers of sexuality that only a few actually get defined. I identify a bit to this with my attraction to men though to varying degrees. I actually think this sexuality describes the majority of women who would describe themselves as hetrosexual (though once you remember the word i can tell them to start using it!! lmao) Most of the women i know say they find women attractive and can happily engage utterly emotionally with a woman and could probs even imagine to some degree being intimate with a woman (though not always sexual). Maby This is an evolutionary thing.. hmm who knows.. tis V interesting anyhow.

xmer
That may be true, I don't know. I recall being with friends and only two of us described ourselves that way. We were discussing it and from out of nowhere a woman said, "Ah, you two are [blabla]sexuals. That's the term for it." We just looked at her like a couple of dummies. First and last time I ever heard the term though.
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Old 10-10-2008, 08:52 AM   #99
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Maybe from now on instead of having a particular orientation...we can just say..

No I'm not (gay/strait) ***I'm just sexual...****

Maybe I should make a T-shirt
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Old 10-10-2008, 09:30 AM   #100
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Originally Posted by mergirl View Post
oh yeah.. is that kinna like "lipstick lesbian"? or does that just mean "femme" ? i really need to keep up to date on my lesbian terms! Its funny that being a lesbian seems to be fashionable now..its great that shows like "The L word" are around.. when just 10 years ago people were up in arms about a lesbian kiss and wouldnt show it before the 9pm watershed. It seems crazy now!
A lipstick lesbian is a femme...namely one who wears lipstick, lol
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