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Old 10-16-2008, 03:34 AM   #176
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Hi Butch. I think I relate to your initial doubts re how a non fa could be physically sexually attracted to a fat person. Before I met my current partner Mergirl I was first of all bisexual and attracted to either medium sized preferrably muscular men or slimmer and/or toned or muscular women. Initially when Mer and I started dating she was two dress sizes smaller than she is now (she just shouted she doesn't wear dresses but as we don't really weigh ourselves we don't know pounds gained) any way, she was a uk dress size 12 which was my ideal size and I liked smaller. I never really admitted it because I didn't think someone that size would be attracted to big fat me. I actually thought I'd have to lose weight before I could get someone that I would fancy to fancy me and wouldn't deserve any more than this. I digress, my point is I fancied Mer at size 12 (surprised she fancied me not knowing what an fa was) and fancied women like shane from the L word and the model Kate Moss and Gwen Stefani who are all thin. Once I fancied a singer called Alison Moyet (she's a great singer) but that was a one off, generally I found skinny women hot. Now mer has a wee fat belly and I get turned on my that. I fancied her personality first then her face. The night we met I fancied her face and thought she had nice breasts. Now she is larger than she was and I also love her more than I did I am physically attracted to her body. Now I feel I wouldn't ever stick to a specific type. I can't imagine fancying anyone other than mer now but I am so glad size actually doesn't matter. In saying that I have warned her that if she gets to my size we are doing it with the lights off, lol.

All I'm saying is it doesn't matter if she is an fa or not as long as she fancies you there's no need to overthink it. Mer's best friend is bi-fatual (a word I'm sure mer made up, lol) her BF has fancied tall skinny women and 30 stone women with complete equal lust and enthusiasm. Her last gf was apperently thin and classicaly good looking according to mer and her current girl friend is definately a bbw and she says it is the best sex of her life. I know this is more to do with the fact they are very sexually compatiple with mers bf being a submissive and her gf a dominant. she also cares deeply for her and likes likes her personality but whatever the reason she sees her as very sexy and hot ans fancies her physically and personally more than any previous girlfriend. I've been told by others that her old gf was better looking but not according to Mers Bf beauty really is in the eyes of the beholder.

Good luck with your relationship keep us posted. xx
Attraction is a crazy thing, isn't it? I think Shane from the L Word is hotness beyond hotness, but otherwise I've never been attracted to people that thin, so I guess I shouldn't be at all confused about someone of average size finding me attractive. Your post reminds me of that, and thanks for the support!

As some here at Dims know, I'm not the most suave and practiced when it comes to relationships, so all of this is news to me, in some respects. Glad to know there are people like you and Mer out there, posting to Dims and reminding me there are women out there who dig the larger women.

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Old 10-16-2008, 09:21 AM   #177
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Glad to know there are people like you and Mer out there, posting to Dims and reminding me there are women out there who dig the larger women.

Me, too! I'm a big fan of big girls! And I have found in the past it can be challenging on the other side of the coin to meet other lesbians that were into thinner shaped peeps like myself.. sigh.

But, I agree that the facets to attraction are so interesting!
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Old 10-16-2008, 02:27 PM   #178
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Me, too! I'm a big fan of big girls! And I have found in the past it can be challenging on the other side of the coin to meet other lesbians that were into thinner shaped peeps like myself.. sigh.

But, I agree that the facets to attraction are so interesting!
I'm really surprised to hear this because I would think that lots of big women would be into thinner women. Some of the more insecure big women might actually not believe that someone hot and thin would find them attractive so maybe that's what you've experienced in the past are big women who are intimitated by you. You're very good looking so it's the only thing I can think of. I felt like this about my GF and was surprised she was attracted to me. I thought that could do better looks wise and was more attracted to my personality. She assures me this is not the case, and laghing at me saying , "no, you are hot and I am shallow and just put up with your personality"LMAO
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Old 10-16-2008, 07:02 PM   #179
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Me, too! I'm a big fan of big girls! And I have found in the past it can be challenging on the other side of the coin to meet other lesbians that were into thinner shaped peeps like myself.. sigh.

But, I agree that the facets to attraction are so interesting!
I don't know where you are looking but...you could get it!

And I think what Golden said is true -- some big women are down on themselves and don't think they are hot to trot, so pulling a person that's sexy is out of the question in their thinking. I am never surprised when an attractive woman finds me attractive/beautiful/sexy/etc -- its icing on the cake that she can appreciate what she sees. It's sad though cause fat doesn't really have anything to do with it. If you got it, you got it...
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Old 10-16-2008, 08:02 PM   #180
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*de-lurks*

Hi all, I'm Jennifer. I am a bi mtf bbw. I'd like to thank activistfatgirl for starting this thread. I've been lurking for so long because I wasn't sure how I'd fit in. This thread has made me feel much more comfortable because now I know there's support here for the LGBTQ peeps.

Thanks,

Jenn
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Old 10-16-2008, 08:07 PM   #181
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I think lots of bigger women are into all sorts of people with all sorts of bodies. There's no reason for fat women to love thin especially. We seem to like all sorts.

Greetings to the delurkers/newbies. It's cool to see people coming forward in this thread.
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Old 10-16-2008, 08:16 PM   #182
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Welcome Jennifer72! Welcome to our lil crew.
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Old 10-16-2008, 08:19 PM   #183
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I think lots of bigger women are into all sorts of people with all sorts of bodies. There's no reason for fat women to love thin especially. We seem to like all sorts.
As a bisexual, bisizual BBW, I just wanted to say I agree with this!
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Old 10-16-2008, 08:21 PM   #184
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As a bisexual, bisizual BBW, I just wanted to say I agree with this!
Can I agree too even though I'm not really bisizual insomuch as I could go either way - it's more like I want one of each!

ha ha ha.

Said from the girl with no game, that's even funnier. How will I build my harem with no game?
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Old 10-16-2008, 08:37 PM   #185
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Said from the girl with no game, that's even funnier. How will I build my harem with no game?
I don't know... For me, those wine coolers and the blanket you offered me last week are game enough. Maybe I'm easy...
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Old 10-16-2008, 08:57 PM   #186
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How will I build my harem with no game?
Money?

(Straight supporter here BTW)
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Old 10-17-2008, 06:43 AM   #187
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It's funny, I tend to be really outgoing, however, with the few size positive events I've attended I become this awkward geek-o. For me, it ends up being intimidating - like being in a room with a bunch of supermodels kinda way maybe. I remember a long time ago having a conversation with a woman who said she could never date someone like me because I represent the type of woman in her mind that was always critical of her. Despite the fact that it represents one person's opinion...those negative things sometimes stick.

As far as what Ashmamma84 said about big women being down on themselves is so unfortunate because when I see a confident, sexy, big woman who knows it...POW!... there is nothing more striking than that.
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Old 10-17-2008, 07:11 AM   #188
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It's funny, I tend to be really outgoing, however, with the few size positive events I've attended I become this awkward geek-o. For me, it ends up being intimidating - like being in a room with a bunch of supermodels kinda way maybe. I remember a long time ago having a conversation with a woman who said she could never date someone like me because I represent the type of woman in her mind that was always critical of her. Despite the fact that it represents one person's opinion...those negative things sometimes stick.

As far as what Ashmamma84 said about big women being down on themselves is so unfortunate because when I see a confident, sexy, big woman who knows it...POW!... there is nothing more striking than that.
I think you look great and definitely no reason for you to be nervous going to an event
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Old 10-17-2008, 07:22 AM   #189
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It's funny, I tend to be really outgoing, however, with the few size positive events I've attended I become this awkward geek-o. For me, it ends up being intimidating - like being in a room with a bunch of supermodels kinda way maybe. I remember a long time ago having a conversation with a woman who said she could never date someone like me because I represent the type of woman in her mind that was always critical of her. Despite the fact that it represents one person's opinion...those negative things sometimes stick.

As far as what Ashmamma84 said about big women being down on themselves is so unfortunate because when I see a confident, sexy, big woman who knows it...POW!... there is nothing more striking than that.
Its funny, but yesterday on the subway I saw this attractive woman looking at me, and I decided at that moment she was looking at me because she found me attractive. There's no reason why I should think that, as her look was pretty benign, but since I thought she was attractive (slender, very feminine but androgynous at the same time, fwiw), then I decided to act as if she found me equally attractive. There really is no way for me to know that she didn't find me attractive, so why not try thinking positively about the glance?

So, your post made me feel like it could have been true instead of a myth I made up in my head to make me feel good. Thanks.
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Old 10-17-2008, 08:51 AM   #190
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So, your post made me feel like it could have been true instead of a myth I made up in my head to make me feel good. Thanks.
That's really fantastic....and your post made me realize that I need to smile more often at pretty girls and not be so shy.
For the past two years I've been so submerged in school that I don't get out at all...don't dress up unless it's in scrubs and crocs....so I guess I don't feel like I have one drop of sexy and I've noticed I don't make much eye contact with people anymore. Jeez, gotta change that nonsense.
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Old 10-17-2008, 08:57 AM   #191
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That's really fantastic....and your post made me realize that I need to smile more often at pretty girls and not be so shy.
For the past two years I've been so submerged in school that I don't get out at all...don't dress up unless it's in scrubs and crocs....so I guess I don't feel like I have one drop of sexy and I've noticed I don't make much eye contact with people anymore. Jeez, gotta change that nonsense.
Down with shyness! Also, down with letting school take over one's life, although right now that is exactly what I should be doing instead of hanging out on the internet. Oh well.


I think we all should and could smile more at strangers. I was feeling pretty desolate the other day, and this anonymous woman on a subway escalator smiled at me, and I almost burst into tears, because it reminded me that no matter how alone I feel, I am always surrounded by others who, more often than not, feel alone to some degree, too, and would welcome being noticed and appreciated in such a simple yet profound gesture. Maybe nothing else shows how connected we are, and how much we do need each other.
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Old 10-17-2008, 09:14 AM   #192
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Maybe nothing else shows how connected we are, and how much we do need each other.
Butch.....you're alright. You can evoke a sentiment in one sentence that would take me a page or two to explain.

I get that feeling when I read Walt Whitman.

As for school - you just reminded me I must get off the net as I have an afternoon of acid-base imbalances to memorize.
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Old 10-17-2008, 10:47 AM   #193
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That's really fantastic....and your post made me realize that I need to smile more often at pretty girls and not be so shy.
For the past two years I've been so submerged in school that I don't get out at all...don't dress up unless it's in scrubs and crocs....so I guess I don't feel like I have one drop of sexy and I've noticed I don't make much eye contact with people anymore. Jeez, gotta change that nonsense.
hey mgirl! Yay.. i think we all need to try to be less shy as we are all beautiful hotties here!!
hmm also.. i notice your name is me except without the "er"!! lmao
welcome missus xxmer
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Old 10-17-2008, 12:00 PM   #194
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I've questioned my own sexuality, at times. Though I predominantly see myself as romantically attracted to men, physically I can become aroused by women (I've read that this is common among "straight" women). And there have been times that I've flirted with lesbians at clubs and found myself really drawn to them, wanted to kiss them and take it further...but nothing ever progressed from those encounters. Does this make me gay? Bi-curious? I don't know. My sense is that human sexuality is so much more fluid and varied than people seem to want to accept, even those whose sexuality is decidedly outside of traditionally-accepted gender roles, as evidenced by several of the comments in this thread. I'm glad that I can acknowledge this desire without too much angst, unlike virtually every straight man I know and probably a lot of straight women, too.
This sound JUST like me. Glad to know I am not the only one.
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Old 10-17-2008, 01:08 PM   #195
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Can I agree too even though I'm not really bisizual insomuch as I could go either way - it's more like I want one of each!

ha ha ha.

Said from the girl with no game, that's even funnier. How will I build my harem with no game?
Ahah.. me too.
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Old 10-17-2008, 02:10 PM   #196
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Butch and Mgirl, I really have to say that your posts have really made me feel better today. I often feel so separated from the rest of the world. I have a difficult time when it comes to dating (funny, I have no problems meeting people) but when I find somebody attractive, I just turn extremely shy. Part of my shyness, is that I feel I don't really belong with either gender. As somebody with no game myself, its very difficult to feel good about myself all the time. So, when someone smiles at me, I really feel accepted (and from the right person), and attractive.
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Old 10-17-2008, 02:16 PM   #197
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Its funny, but yesterday on the subway I saw this attractive woman looking at me, and I decided at that moment she was looking at me because she found me attractive. There's no reason why I should think that, as her look was pretty benign, but since I thought she was attractive (slender, very feminine but androgynous at the same time, fwiw), then I decided to act as if she found me equally attractive. There really is no way for me to know that she didn't find me attractive, so why not try thinking positively about the glance?

So, your post made me feel like it could have been true instead of a myth I made up in my head to make me feel good. Thanks.
I do this all the time! When people don't look at me with hate and disgust as normal I think wow, they must think I'm good looking Eve if it is completely false, it boosts my confidence

FWIW, I miss American soft butch girls. They make my heart melt
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Old 10-17-2008, 05:39 PM   #198
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I do this all the time! When people don't look at me with hate and disgust as normal I think wow, they must think I'm good looking Eve if it is completely false, it boosts my confidence

FWIW, I miss American soft butch girls. They make my heart melt
Ah, we miss you too, BBSSBBW!

'American soft butch girls' sounds like a phrase from a song AC/DC would have written if they were all lesbians, lol.
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Old 10-17-2008, 06:05 PM   #199
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Originally Posted by Mgirl View Post
As far as what Ashmamma84 said about big women being down on themselves is so unfortunate because when I see a confident, sexy, big woman who knows it...POW!... there is nothing more striking than that.
How do you let them know that... POW!?
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Old 10-17-2008, 06:08 PM   #200
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exile in thighville keeps pushing the rep limit!exile in thighville keeps pushing the rep limit!exile in thighville keeps pushing the rep limit!exile in thighville keeps pushing the rep limit!exile in thighville keeps pushing the rep limit!exile in thighville keeps pushing the rep limit!exile in thighville keeps pushing the rep limit!exile in thighville keeps pushing the rep limit!exile in thighville keeps pushing the rep limit!exile in thighville keeps pushing the rep limit!exile in thighville keeps pushing the rep limit!
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