Feederism;misguided or misunderstood?

[mergirl]

Originally Posted by LillyBBBW

What??? That is rediculous. With that logic a feeder isn't a feeder without a feedee either. He's a wisher until he can find someone to feed. lol Or he's a watcher if all he wants to do is sit and enjoy watching someone eat, or a watcher belly rubber head to shoulder rester. lol

A feedee is mostly flipped off as some kind of needy victim who'll say yes to anything for a scratch behind the ears. I stayed out of this as per the request of the OP but it's really irksome to see this straw man being held up all the time.

Thats true! A feeder cant be a feeder unless he is actually feeding someone!!
You think about feeding and wank over a partner getting fatter at your hand all you like.. but until you are actually responsible for this gain then you are not a "feeder" ,, but you do have feeder tendencies or would like to be a feeder.. Its just the termanology.

[Shosh]

I think it is all fine the roleplay and such, as long as it does not adversely effect a person's health to the point where they are immobile and unable to care for themselves.
I have to object to it if a person has a child that they are responsible for caring for though.

There is nothing sexy to most people in not being able to attend to one's own personal hygeine requirements.

Maybe that turns some feeders on though.

To Rebecca's credit she did say that much of the feederism issues stay in the realm of fantasy, because she knows that it cannot become a reality, possibly due to health or lifestyle issues.

[mergirl]

Originally Posted by Rebecca

I guess single straight people aren't straight either, since they have no partners. Gee, the logic here is staggering. My sexuality doesn't turn off just because I'm not coupled.

And mergirl, you can make baby talk at me all you like. I've been verbally attached on this topic by people who've made FAR more intelligent remarks than you have thus far...no sweat.

As for feathers being ruffled, I have to say this. The OP's original post didn't bother me, curiosity and the attempt to learn never bother me. Though I would suggest checking out the various threads already devoted to the subject on the Weight Board. Of course, from what I can tell, GD has made a foray into the weight board and brought quite a few interesting and positive points. Kudos for that. If my feathers are ruffled, it's because (as mergirl did just posts before this one) Feeders and feedees are dragged out for inspection regularly as if they're freaks of nature and not just people and then get told off when the treatment bothers us.

I mean, seriously, picking on someone and then telling them the only reason it bothers them is because they know it's wrong to be how they are?? Really, because I'm pretty sure that the reason I didn't like being made fun of for being fat as a kid wasn't because deep down inside I knew being fat was wrong, I think it had more to do with the fact that it sucks dealing with closedminded, mean spirited assholes.

And, you know what, that's still the case.

...I'm Rebecca and I'm a FEEDEE.

i wasnt baby talking to you.. i was genuinely saying ..aww thats a wee shame for ye!! (unless of course you are an adult baby and would like that?? lol)
Noooooooo..single gay people are still gay.. because being gay is a recognised sexuality. Feedees without Feeders or Feeders without Feedees are not gettinf fed or feeding..
feeding is an adjective whereas being gay is like being black,white etc .. you still are it even when you are not in a relationship..
you know..
btw.. i am NOT anti feeder, nor having a go.. but i do think this thread is a really good way of getting all the shit out that people feel about the subject and i will play devils advocate when its in the best interests of a debate,,

xmer

[candygodiva]

Originally Posted by mergirl

Thats true! A feeder cant be a feeder unless he is actually feeding someone!!
You think about feeding and wank over a partner getting fatter at your hand all you like.. but until you are actually responsible for this gain then you are not a "feeder" ,, but you do have feeder tendencies or would like to be a feeder.. Its just the termanology.

But what about a feedee that feeds herself at the encouragement of a feeder, or feeders, through the magick of the internets, and therefore gains?
Wanking may or may not be involved...

[Shosh]

Originally Posted by candygodiva

But what about a feedee that feeds herself at the encouragement of a feeder, or feeders, through the magick of the internets, and therefore gains?
Wanking may or may not be involved...

Candy do you ever get tired of your members or your fans asking you how heavy you want to be? I see that some of the other girls find it tiresome sometimes.
Do you feel pressured as a feedee to just keep on gaining, gaining, gaining all the time?

[Fuzzy Necromancer]

Feeder and Feedee are not in the webster's dictionary. Consequently, you will find many dissenting bodies of thought as to their meaning.

One group uses "feeder" and "feedee" as terms for relationship roles. Another school of thought uses them as names for fetishes. Some use them as both, which confuses things a bit. I side with the second definition.

[Haunted]

I guess i was really hoping this could be a civilized conversation that didn't have to devolve to someone feeling they had to defend their stance. I'm a feeder and i appreciate GD and anyone else asking the questions instead of assuming we are some kind of sick group hell bent on fattening woman across the land to the point of Immobility, High cholesteral and heart failure

[Fuzzy Necromancer]

Originally Posted by GoldenDelicious

Ok, Least dangerous to lead to anything how??? So do you think feedersim is less dangerous than someone strangling you whilst fucking you up the arse until the point you are losing consciousness or gain in weight untill they need you to wipe their ass when they shit because they can't reach the little bit between their anus and their vagina? Ok I say this because I can reach
myself everyhwhere and clean myself everywhere and am active and fit for my size bit part of me knows if I was fatter I know I wouldn't reach properly so how can larger to gaining to the point of imobility be sexy, surley loss of personal hygeine isn't sexy?

Um, I don't personally think loss of personal hygene is particularly sexy, but I think there's a much larger question squirming around in your post. Could you try to rephrase the question or statement so that I can better address it, because as is it's giving me some comprehension/clarity issues.

[furious styles]

Was I the only person who thought the comments about hygiene and a girl not being able to clean herself were somewhat offensive? Is that the point at which a person is "too fat?"

I know it probably wasn't meant maliciously (at least, not towards the fat person .. ) but is there really room for any kind of that attitude on this forum? There's probably some ladies (and for that matter, men) around here with similar issues, and I highly doubt that they're that way due to "feeding."

No wonder the SSBBWs on this board wanted a private area to discuss health and hygiene ..

[candygodiva]

Originally Posted by Susannah

Candy do you ever get tired of your members or your fans asking you how heavy you want to be? I see that some of the other girls find it tiresome sometimes.
Do you feel pressured as a feedee to just keep on gaining, gaining, gaining all the time?

I don't find those questions any more tiresome than the, "when can I hit that?", comments and questions, which I usually ignore. I will only answer these types of things in my Paysite Board threads. I answer as honestly as I can as well.

I don't feel any pressure to gain from fans. I do what I want, when I want, and how I want to do it. I enjoy my body, and I've enjoyed it's growth over the years. It's fun to tease my fans, and myself, imagining what it would like to get fatter. So, of course I'll play along with the fantasy, as long as who ever I'm playing with holds my interest. lol

[Shosh]

Originally Posted by candygodiva

I don't find those questions any more tiresome than the, "when can I hit that?", comments and questions, which I usually ignore. I will only answer these types of things in my Paysite Board threads. I answer as honestly as I can as well.

I don't feel any pressure to gain from fans. I do what I want, when I want, and how I want to do it. I enjoy my body, and I've enjoyed it's growth over the years. It's fun to tease my fans, and myself, imagining what it would like to get fatter. So, of course I'll play along with the fantasy, as long as who ever I'm playing with holds my interest. lol

So there is the element of just fantasy with a lot of feedees and feeders, and most would not take it to the extreme level ie weight gain etc?

Some of the feedees/feeders would also have to hide their fetish from their families too I imagine for fear of disapproval etc.

I have wondered just how prevalent the fetish is out there. Are there many feedees and feeders?

[Fascinita]

Originally Posted by GoldenDelicious

Like I said I am an ssbbw and my girlfriend is an FA. When she admitted to me she was into this I was worried that if I lost weight she would not want to be with me. Now that we are in a relationship she has said that she wouldn't mind if I were a bit smaller but she has told me that she would fancy me less under a specific dress size that I have agreed I do not want to be smaller than any way so it has worked out well for us. But what about other relationships? If you were in a relationship with someone who refused to gain and they weren't big enough for you, would you dump them?

I don't know the answers to your questions, but I suspect that if you hang around long enough and read the forums, you'll see that there have been a number of discussions about just such issues.

I did on the other hand have a question for you. Like you, I am sincerely interested in hearing someone's perspective on this:

As a fat woman in a relationship with a feeder (if I understand you correctly above), who has agreed that she won't go below a certain size, do you have any "deal breakers" of your own that you've discussed with your girlfriend in turn? For instance, do you tell your GF that is she ever makes under XXXXX amount of money a year, you'd be less happy with her? (This is just an example, of course.)

And as a fat woman, do you feel like you have to please your GF because of whatever perception of lack of other dating/romantic possibilities? This last question refers only to the sense that some fat people have that it is more difficult for them to find romantic partners. This in turn can engender fear, and a desire to keep the partner pleased in order to keep their attention.

I hope I haven't been too forward with these. These are things I would love to be able to talk about with someone rationally, without the defensiveness that can creep into conversations about feeding.

Thanks

[GordoNegro]

This was a very interesting thread, though I can say if you have the kind of relationship to where you can really talk with a true open mind (free of initial judgements) you can see greater/other desires and fantasies evolve.
As a former strictly feeder and presently on/off mutual gainer, I would say in general, its good to know where everyone is coming from deep down.
That is especially helpful in the case; where one may be or feel 'too far gone', in which it transcends into other facets of life (splurging on lunch/work breaks and not caring about coworkers or others opinions of you, or that innate need on a nightly basis to stuff someone or be stuffed in order to relax enough to sleep, among other occurences).
There have been horror stories with users and those not on the same page (meaning in fantasy a feeder may desire a supersized partner but in reality may not be attracted to/capable of having a supersized partner) resulting in much of the negative attitudes posted on this forum and elsewhere.

Chances are if its just for pure enjoyment and that the lifestyle was never truly lurking inside you, there not much chance of sensing or feeling 'too far gone' as a feeder/feedee etc. as opposed to a 'baptism of fire' of sorts as deep down you know the question is not if but when.

[Ruby Ripples]

Originally Posted by Susannah

I think it is all fine the roleplay and such, as long as it does not adversely effect a person's health to the point where they are immobile and unable to care for themselves.
I have to object to it if a person has a child that they are responsible for caring for though.

There is nothing sexy to most people in not being able to attend to one's own personal hygeine requirements.

Maybe that turns some feeders on though.
To Rebecca's credit she did say that much of the feederism issues stay in the realm of fantasy, because she knows that it cannot become a reality, possibly due to health or lifestyle issues.

There is sexiness in almost anything, to someone or other. I know feeders who are turned off by what I've highlighted in your post, and I know FAs who are not feeders, who are very turned on by it, just to clarify.

Originally Posted by mfdoom

Was I the only person who thought the comments about hygiene and a girl not being able to clean herself were somewhat offensive? Is that the point at which a person is "too fat?"

I know it probably wasn't meant maliciously (at least, not towards the fat person .. ) but is there really room for any kind of that attitude on this forum? There's probably some ladies (and for that matter, men) around here with similar issues, and I highly doubt that they're that way due to "feeding."

No wonder the SSBBWs on this board wanted a private area to discuss health and hygiene ..

As I was reading through this thread, your post is exactly what I intented to post here. And I would bet my life that of the people with reach difficulties, most are NOT feedees.

Originally Posted by Susannah

So there is the element of just fantasy with a lot of feedees and feeders, and most would not take it to the extreme level ie weight gain etc?

Some of the feedees/feeders would also have to hide their fetish from their families too I imagine for fear of disapproval etc.
I have wondered just how prevalent the fetish is out there. Are there many feedees and feeders?

I wouldn't expect anyone to tell me their fetish, unless they specifically wanted to, or any details about their intimate life with their partner. Feedism is sexual. Would you think twice about someone into BDSM not telling their family? I have seen people talk on these boards before about why do feeders and feedees "hide" it from their relatives, well why should they tell anyone, any more than their relatives would divulge their own sado masochistic desires, or whatever.

I hope you don't mind me highlighting you in fuchsia!

[Shosh]

Ruby,

I guess it is hard to understand sometimes that just about anything can be sexy to somebody, as we have been force fed a diet of what society says is sexy and that is so overwhelming.

It gives me hope though that a man will love my wobbly stomach and bum and wobbly boobs.

When I refered to the personal hygeine issue, what I meant was that SSBBW's struggling day to day with this may find it a burden and not sexy etc.

I am kind of surprised to think that a man could find that sexy, as one equates sexy with pleasant images of fat women, and not the unmentionables etc.

As for my family I never discuss my sex life with them, and I would not like them to discuss their sex life with me.

I just thought that some family members might freak out if they found out about the feedee/feeder type relationship.

I wouldn't think it would be a very common fetish though. I could be wrong.

You can highlight my text in any color meanwhile.

[Mikey]

Originally Posted by LillyBBBW

What??? That is rediculous. With that logic a feeder isn't a feeder without a feedee either. He's a wisher until he can find someone to feed. lol Or he's a watcher if all he wants to do is sit and enjoy watching someone eat, or a watcher belly rubber head to shoulder rester. lol

A feedee is mostly flipped off as some kind of needy victim who'll say yes to anything for a scratch behind the ears. I stayed out of this as per the request of the OP but it's really irksome to see this straw man being held up all the time.

As always, you impart great words of wisdom!!!

[LillyBBBW]

Originally Posted by Haunted

I guess i was really hoping this could be a civilized conversation that didn't have to devolve to someone feeling they had to defend their stance. I'm a feeder and i appreciate GD and anyone else asking the questions instead of assuming we are some kind of sick group hell bent on fattening woman across the land to the point of Immobility, High cholesteral and heart failure

Haunted I must respectfully disagree. I'm sure it feels good to have someone inquire in a respectful way as to your thoughts and emotions. What I take issue with is this continued insistence that feedees are weak desperate victims that will do anything in exchange for affection and admiration. This has been a consistent ragdoll argument here. We are practically invisible in every discussion and when one of us tries to say something we're essentially told to shut up because nobody was talking to us. What the hell! And feeders give dignity to these kinds of insinuations by participating, essentially saying that any person they get involved with is indeed a victim that they just happen to choose to treat well via their moral convictions which is utter nonsense and just as marginalizing.

[Haunted]

Originally Posted by LillyBBBW

Haunted I must respectfully disagree. I'm sure it feels good to have someone inquire in a respectful way as to your thoughts and emotions. What I take issue with is this continued insistence that feedees are weak desperate victims that will do anything in exchange for affection and admiration. This has been a consistent ragdoll argument here. We are practically invisible in every discussion and when one of us tries to say something we're essentially told to shut up because nobody was talking to us. What the hell! And feeders give dignity to these kinds of insinuations by participating, essentially saying that any person they get involved with is indeed a victim that they just happen to choose to treat well via their moral convictions which is utter nonsense and just as marginalizing.

Lilly you always offer great insight into these threads and i love hearing your views on these topics
I honestly can only argue for the one side But i will agree it is tiresome how the feeder is always portrayed as the dominant control freak and the feedee is the submissive victim being fattened against their will. But i thought this thread started out very respectful. it's just sad that the topic always ends up with someone having to defend thier strange little quirky fetish But whatever i will feed her as long as she wants to be fed!

In my initial post i mentioned how i'm more of a passive feeder where as she likes to eat and enjoy's the feeling of being completely full or over full and i Really enjoy helping her get there. I do not Force in anyway, I do encourage her Because she wants to sometimes test her limits. we have talked about a forced feeding in fantasy and we have agreed it would be fun to try but i am slightly uncomfortable with actually executing this particular act mainly because i feel a little silly forcing someone to eat. i typically find it much hotter when she is also enjoying herself and for her to resist would negate this angle for me.

Also My partners enjoyment is very important to me i always aim to please her before i even consider what i may want sexually If she didn't enjoy Being Fed i wouldn't be able to enjoy feeding her this is a mutual fetish both parties have to be into it

I understand some would argue that the Feedee is guilted into eating and gaining which brings up another assumption that does really tick me off. I have heard some say that these woman are easily guided or controlled because they are fat and by society's standards undesirable. So in an effort to be loved or to feel accepted they will do what ever it takes, That is such bullshit I know there are woman who feel this way it's sad and my heart goes out to any woman who feels undesirable. I also hate these guys who act like they are gods gift and the BBW and SSBBW's should be lining up to meet them because they are the rare Mythical FA.

And to answer the question about not reaching, In our case Hygiene is not an issue, But she does struggle to but her shoes on which does turn me on a little for some reason, I do feel guilty for getting excited about things that inconvenience her like this but i think it just illustrates the weight gain for me. just like comparing her Body to mine her arm is the size of my thigh her thigh is the size of my waist. in my truck her hips are pressed against the console and the door, we have to lift the center console for her to be comfy and i drive a Nissan Titan. seeing her outgrow clothes turns me on and this is again another inconvenience for her. clothes aren't cheap and the bigger she gets the harder they are to find I'm sure your all aware.

I guess the point is i don't understand some fetishes like Cuckolding (WTF) but to each his own

[BothGunsBlazing]

Hm, you know, after reading this thread.. I've come to the conclusion that being misguided/misunderstood is a pretty sweet gig because the other side of that fence just gave me a massive headache.

EVERY SINGLE ACT OF FEEDING I'VE EVER DONE IN MY LIFE HAS BEEN 100% CONSENSUAL. I've never been with anyone who I'd call a victim or who would ever let me treat them like one. I'm incredibly disappointed in the fact that it would seem that most don't think of women as being able to make any decision on their own. This is the year 2008. Every instance where this is argued that women are so easily manipulated is a slap in the face to any kind of process.

It would seem that so many people already have their minds made up when it comes to anything they don't understand or disagree with and cannot be reasoned with, so yeah, what a waste of time and energy.

[Fuzzy Necromancer]

Originally Posted by LillyBBBW

Haunted I must respectfully disagree. I'm sure it feels good to have someone inquire in a respectful way as to your thoughts and emotions. What I take issue with is this continued insistence that feedees are weak desperate victims that will do anything in exchange for affection and admiration. This has been a consistent ragdoll argument here. We are practically invisible in every discussion and when one of us tries to say something we're essentially told to shut up because nobody was talking to us. What the hell! And feeders give dignity to these kinds of insinuations by participating, essentially saying that any person they get involved with is indeed a victim that they just happen to choose to treat well via their moral convictions which is utter nonsense and just as marginalizing.

That curious omission is why I made the "where's the feedee' thread =/ It's like when the convo starts, there are no feedees, only feeders and partners who gain weight for attention.

[Tooz]

I guess I just don't understand why people need to "understand" this fetish.

[LillyBBBW]

Originally Posted by Haunted

Lilly you always offer great insight into these threads and i love hearing your views on these topics
I honestly can only argue for the one side But i will agree it is tiresome how the feeder is always portrayed as the dominant control freak and the feedee is the submissive victim being fattened against their will. But i thought this thread started out very respectful. it's just sad that the topic always ends up with someone having to defend thier strange little quirky fetish But whatever i will feed her as long as she wants to be fed!

In my initial post i mentioned how i'm more of a passive feeder where as she likes to eat and enjoy's the feeling of being completely full or over full and i Really enjoy helping her get there. I do not Force in anyway, I do encourage her Because she wants to sometimes test her limits. we have talked about a forced feeding in fantasy and we have agreed it would be fun to try but i am slightly uncomfortable with actually executing this particular act mainly because i feel a little silly forcing someone to eat. i typically find it much hotter when she is also enjoying herself and for her to resist would negate this angle for me.

Also My partners enjoyment is very important to me i always aim to please her before i even consider what i may want sexually If she didn't enjoy Being Fed i wouldn't be able to enjoy feeding her this is a mutual fetish both parties have to be into it

I understand some would argue that the Feedee is guilted into eating and gaining which brings up another assumption that does really tick me off. I have heard some say that these woman are easily guided or controlled because they are fat and by society's standards undesirable. So in an effort to be loved or to feel accepted they will do what ever it takes, That is such bullshit I know there are woman who feel this way it's sad and my heart goes out to any woman who feels undesirable. I also hate these guys who act like they are gods gift and the BBW and SSBBW's should be lining up to meet them because they are the rare Mythical FA.

And to answer the question about not reaching, In our case Hygiene is not an issue, But she does struggle to but her shoes on which does turn me on a little for some reason, I do feel guilty for getting excited about things that inconvenience her like this but i think it just illustrates the weight gain for me. just like comparing her Body to mine her arm is the size of my thigh her thigh is the size of my waist. in my truck her hips are pressed against the console and the door, we have to lift the center console for her to be comfy and i drive a Nissan Titan. seeing her outgrow clothes turns me on and this is again another inconvenience for her. clothes aren't cheap and the bigger she gets the harder they are to find I'm sure your all aware.

I guess the point is i don't understand some fetishes like Cuckolding (WTF) but to each his own

Getting excited about these embarassing inconveniences may bother some women, it's true. That's their right but to give you another perspective, these inconveneinces have always been an issue for me. All the grunting, hip pressing, shoe dangling, car exiting antics are a basic reality for me weather an FA/feeder is there or not. I'm not embarassed about what I have to do but here's the thing: I don't want somebody looking at me feeling sorry for me or being disgusted or put out by the fact that I need them to grab my hands so I can get off the couch. I don't want anyone who is going to view me as an embarassment to them or a cross to bear, that is my only source of anxiety. Somebody looking at it and finding it enjoyable isn't going to send me into the dregs of sorrow and I'm nobody's victim. I'm not saying everyone should feel as I do but the bottom line is if I don't feel guilty then I don't want my family, my kids, my SO feeling that way either. I'm just the way I am and if someone finds it cute or amusing more power to them I say. I don't mind.

ETA: I just want to add that I don't hold any animosity towards the OP for her post or wanting to come to understanding. I just wanted to set straight a common misconception.

[Haunted]

Originally Posted by LillyBBBW

Getting excited about these embarassing inconveniences may bother some women, it's true. That's their right but to give you another perspective, these inconveneinces have always been an issue for me. All the grunting, hip pressing, shoe dangling, car exiting antics are a basic reality for me weather an FA/feeder is there or not. I'm not embarassed about what I have to do but here's the thing: I don't want somebody looking at me feeling sorry for me or being disgusted or put out by the fact that I need them to grab my hands so I can get off the couch. I don't want anyone who is going to view me as an embarassment to them or a cross to bear, that is my only source of anxiety. Somebody looking at it and finding it enjoyable isn't going to send me into the dregs of sorrow and I'm nobody's victim. I'm not saying everyone should feel as I do but the bottom line is if I don't feel guilty then I don't want my family, my kids, my SO feeling that way either. I'm just the way I am and if someone finds it cute or amusing more power to them I say. I don't mind.

I can understand that but i can honestly say I would never feel like she was a burden to me i love the way she looks i love the way she feels and i will do what ever i can to help her and keep enjoying these little struggles she deals with day in and day (I suppose i just find it odd that her inconveniences affect me in such a way) Ultimately i want her to feel loved and to not feel anxiety over her size and to just enjoy.

I sometimes wonder if my Anti diet attitude comes from my mom always Dieting and denying herself certain things, Makes sense I suppose, the gaining and fatty love however has to come from somewhere else as my mom was never very big as far as dimensions standards anyway.

[BothGunsBlazing]

This is the thing as well. Feederism.. the feeder/feedee whether you engage in it .. occasionally, often. ALL THE TIME. is a very SLOW process. no one gets massive over night. if you're allowing this to happen day in and day out when you don't want it to happen .. feederism isn't the issue, it's that you are allowing yourself to be used in this way and if it wasn't feederism, it was or is going to be something else.

oh and I am not trying to justify abuse of ANY kind.

[madrik101]

Hi there, I'm new to these forums, but I'm just going to jump right into the deep end here and involve myself with this discussion. I've read this thread, and I've seen this conflict in many other forums over the years, as many people here also have. Rather than going on an aggressive rant, I'm going to argue my case by merely presenting my story:

I am young (20) and I keep myself in good shape physically and intellectually. On considering a partner, at least in a physical sense, I am quite obviously an FA and thus prefer what one might call "chubby", "curvy" or "plump" women. I would never expect nor hope to have a partner who is "super-sized" or indeed even on the mid to high end of "bbw". That's not to say I find larger bbw's repulsive, for I do not, but quite simply I have other matters closer to my heart than that of a few particular sexual fetishes.

I'm a feeder - disputably, apparently, because I am not presently feeding anyone (changing the name won't change the intentions, anyway). I say that I'm a feeder because I possess the desire to, assuming I find an equally willing feedee partner, engage in the fundamentals of feederism - weight gain; perhaps the inclusion of food in sex-based acts. Many people in the FA community share these desires. However, aside from the fact that I am incapable of being sexually satisfied unless my partner is also entirely satisfied, I have severe "restrictions" on my preferences. As I have earlier said, I do not want an obese, super-sized or even unusually or uncomfortably overweight partner; I do want a healthy and active partner who can join in on my morning swims and evening walks, and other such activities. I want an independent partner who is not coerced or manipulated into performing degrading or humiliating acts, and I'll reassert that consensual sexual gratification is paramount. The truth is, about four fifths of the women on this board, while beautiful, would be larger than I'd prefer in a partner, and I would not only support but suggest weight-loss to any partner whose health and well-being was compromised by their weight or lifestyle.

More bluntly, most of the anti-feedee plus-size people on here (despite their dualistic desire for "weight acceptance" and their condemnation of intentional weight gain) are beyond my preferences in terms of weight. This idea that feederism is an explicit desire for unending weight gain and growth in a partner is absurd. Weight fluctuates; clothes get tight, clothes get loose. I find the weight gain elements fun, and I can see how food could be involved in a consensual feederism partnership. That said, my sexuality doesn't go into a spin if my partner is not fatter by the day, and all peaks and troughs in weight are backgrounded by the fundamental need for a stable and healthy, sane, mutual relationship. The truth is I'm more vigilant about health than the vast majority of people on here, but I acknowledge my desires and am psychologically sturdy enough to endure putting other things before my fetishistic preferences occasionally; and to sate those desires only when appropriate, and to an extent that is both wise and acceptable.

Are there feeders out there who will surrender to utter, primal desires? Well, there have been a few cases. But shall I perhaps highlight cases where other sexual fetishes have resulted in dangerous abuses? Practices such as knife-play, mummification, fear-play, rape fantasy, servitude, blood-play, breath-play, fire-play have all led to ghastly events, when the limits are removed. And that's what all sexuality is about: limits. Overstep the limit, take it beyond the occasional bit of fun, and it becomes dangerous. But the truth is through these sorts of forums I've encountered dozens of beautiful like-minded people of my age, all of them as healthy as anyone on here can hope to be, who share my desires, but appreciate that it is just a bit of bedroom fun. Look at people like Neko for example, whose weight has often been as low as 140 (I've not communicated with her personally, but I picked her because everyone is aware of her). She's attractive; she's healthy; she's apparently smart, and she is a (presently independent) feedee. She is not being persuaded into gaining weight to please a dominant and insistent partner, and she is certainly a model for thousands of other similar people.

As a final point, which I hope resounds clearly: reaching a state of obesity and remaining at that weight "unwillingly" is no closer to grace than gaining controlled, relatively minor portions of weight with intention. The fact that you did not wish the extra fat upon your body does not spare you from any of the disgrace you throw at people who identify themselves as practicing feeders and feedees.