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Old 03-13-2006, 03:19 PM   #1
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Red face The moment I realized it was "OK" to be fat...

I have been thinking about this topic lately. I think it's time for me to share, and Dimensions seems like a place that will appreciate it...

I was always chubby and grew up in an un-supportive environment. My father was obsessed with my weight, unfairly though because he was a big man himself. My mother did her best, but he was "The King". So I always thought it was a horrible thing to be fat. My father told me that "no one wants to be with a fat girl" "You'll be alone forever" "When you grow up you'll only be a fat lazy broad" Great stuff like that...so needless to say I quickly developed a complex.

But, a marvelous event happen when I was around 11 years old...

My dad had a friend, we'll call him Tom. I always had a crush on Tom as a kid, I thought he was super cute and he was, well, hard to describe, but I always liked him. He was a photographer which I always thought was awesome, we even visited his studio before (super cool). We didn't see Tom that much, he lived 2 hours away.

So, we went down to see his new house one day. I was sitting on the couch, watching TV with my mom. Dad & Tom were probably doin guy stuff, I don't quite remember. Now, this was back in the days before cable tv had the guide channel, so they would send you a card with a listing of what networks were on what channel (you know you remember). I picked up the card, the front was hand written in script, and on the back was a photo of a curvy queen. It was a stunning black & white photo, the rear/side view of a beautiful BBW. She was gazing out of a window wearing nothing but a pair of shoes. It wasn't vulgar or obscene, it was just beautiful. On the photo was the caption "Annie's Fannie".

I wasn't quite sure what to think about it, and my mom said "oh ya, that's Tom's old girlfriend. He has always dated chubby girls"

Wait a minute here - You mean guys actually date chubby chicks?! Guys actually go out and look for large ladies? They don't just "end up" with them? What?! I had never heard of this before! You have GOT TO BE JOKING! TOM?! TOM DATES FAT GIRLS?! It was such an earth shaking revelation for me! A little bit of the distorted body image melted off...and the more I thought about it, the better I felt!

I'll never forgot that moment, the moment I realized it was ok to be fat. And, it probably goes through my head on a daily basis. Whenever I start feeling a little down (ya those moments still happen) I always think about "Annie's Fannie", and I get a smile on my face.

I never got the chance to meet Annie, but I'm giving a public thank you to her, and her fannie.

-G-
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Old 03-13-2006, 03:45 PM   #2
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Welcome.

By the way I think your pic is lovely
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Old 03-13-2006, 04:02 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ginger
.. I picked up the card, the front was hand written in script, and on the back was a photo of a curvy queen. It was a stunning black & white photo, the rear/side view of a beautiful BBW. She was gazing out of a window wearing nothing but a pair of shoes. It wasn't vulgar or obscene, it was just beautiful. On the photo was the caption "Annie's Fannie".

I wasn't quite sure what to think about it, and my mom said "oh ya, that's Tom's old girlfriend. He has always dated chubby girls"

Wait a minute here - You mean guys actually date chubby chicks?! Guys actually go out and look for large ladies? They don't just "end up" with them? What?! I had never heard of this before! You have GOT TO BE JOKING! TOM?! TOM DATES FAT GIRLS?! It was such an earth shaking revelation for me! A little bit of the distorted body image melted off...and the more I thought about it, the better I felt!

I'll never forgot that moment, the moment I realized it was ok to be fat. And, it probably goes through my head on a daily basis. Whenever I start feeling a little down (ya those moments still happen) I always think about "Annie's Fannie", and I get a smile on my face.

MMm I've never concidered FAs/FFAs of importance for the recognition of the beauty of BBWs/BHMs. But reading your story, they actually do play an important role.
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Old 03-13-2006, 04:36 PM   #4
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I'm not saying that your view of yourself should depend on another person.

What I'm saying is in the eyes of an 11 year old, whom had a father that was a negative influence, to see a person that is saying the exact opposite thing and have it be a positive thing is huge.

Not having a positive male role model was very influencial on me. Not every is this way though. I'm speaking for myself in saying that I did actively seek out his "approval", for years, because I thought me being fat made me not worthy of him. A young girl's view of her father means alot.
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Old 03-14-2006, 03:48 AM   #5
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You never forget those revelations, do you?

Welcome Ginger. You're off to a good start.
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Old 03-14-2006, 11:01 AM   #6
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Ginger, I'm glad you met Tom! Hehe...
You are a very beautiful girl. Your face is gorgeous and that body is so hot.

Thank you for having you here.

Tight hugs, GPL.
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Old 03-14-2006, 10:58 PM   #7
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Welcome and thanks for a great story. Everyone, regardless of age, needs a positive moment like yours.
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Old 03-31-2006, 07:15 AM   #8
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I wish I had realized so early! My epiphany came just last year
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Old 03-31-2006, 07:34 AM   #9
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Your story is very inspiring to me, and your picture is very pretty too!

My moment came actually after I'd joined fat acceptance. I assumed that I was totally OK with my size, but then I found my old bikes in the basement from when I was thinner years before. I was about to tell my husband to throw them out because I assumed that I was too big at that point to ride them. But then...I was out shopping and I saw a guy bigger than I was, on a bike! He was my role model, at a point where I didn't think I needed one (I was now in the fat acceptance mvmt, after all...)

But that one fat guy on a bike made me realize that I too could ride again, and I woudlnt squash the bike. And you know what? It worked! That ONE example enabled me to go back to doing outdoor cycling, and I wish I could find that guy and thank him.
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Old 03-31-2006, 10:21 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MsGreenLantern
I wish I had realized so early! My epiphany came just last year
All I can say is I believe it's still wonderful to hear that some of you very attractive ladies were able to discover this... Freedom? Revelation? Lifestyle? something like that... No matter what the age you found it. All one hears about is how wonderful your life becomes, how much easier it is to accept yourself and be happy, once you DO have that epiphany.

That's what makes this community so great. You all share that or a similar story, and thus make everyone welcome.
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Old 04-01-2006, 10:13 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GeorgeNL
MMm I've never concidered FAs/FFAs of importance for the recognition of the beauty of BBWs/BHMs. But reading your story, they actually do play an important role.
Absolutely they do play an important role. I grew up with my mother always fighting to get her weight down, and being so thrilled when he doctor prescribed her a weight loss medication and she went down one size, then another... (this was before it was discovered that that medication cause heart problems, the prescription was revoked, and she gained all the weight back.) Anyway I am the oldest child in my family, so the person I looked up to was my cousin David - he always gave me cool books and logos and taught me how to play Magic the Gathering. So one time when my mom was at her lowest weight David was talking to me, and said he thought she had lost too much weight. That was a new concept to me, but I sort of agreed - the baggy flesh that results from losing a lot of weight quickly can be more unattractive than the weight itself. Later on I met David's girlfriend, and observed that she weighed a good bit. So I figured out that that was what Dave liked, and by extension that people who liked that existed. Which was really good, because that knowledge helped balance out the realization that I was not a fat ugly duckling who would magically grow up to be a beautiful slender swan.
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Old 04-01-2006, 11:05 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GeorgeNL
MMm I've never concidered FAs/FFAs of importance for the recognition of the beauty of BBWs/BHMs. But reading your story, they actually do play an important role.
George,

I have always been fat. When growing up, I was always the fattest kid. 115 pounds by age 7. 180 by age 9. 212 ay age 14. 250 at age 18. 294 at age 19. 417 at age 21. I continued gaining, and was at my heighest weight in May of 1999.

I havd always had people tell me that I had such a pretty face. I have had male relatives say the same, but add comments about me needing to do something about the size of my body. When someone says, "You have such a pretty face, but............" and then not say anything else, you assume that they are thinking that the rest of you is ugly.

I accepted that I had a pretty face. I knew that I was a nice person and have always been pretty inside. Nobody ever told me that I was beautiful, though. That changed after I found Dimensions. I remember the very first time that a man I was chatting with told me that I was beautiful. It was right after my 38th birthday. His words brought tears to my eyes. I knew that he was sincere. Three months before my 39th birthday, I met my first FA in person. I still remember hearing his voice, and hearing him tell me that I was pretty and that I was beautiful. For the very first time, someone found *all of me* beautiful. For the first time ever, I was not made to feel ashamed of being so fat. For the first time ever, I was not made to feel ashamed of my big belly. For the first time ever, I really did feel beautiful both inside and out. There is no feeling like that in the world. That was the happiest day of my life. When someone accepts me, and cares about me, and thinks that I am beautiful, it feels wonderful. That is why I say that I want a man to accept and love *all of me*.

Imagine never hearing that anyone found *all of you* attractive until after you were 38 years old!
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Old 04-04-2006, 12:01 AM   #13
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I think your day was using Projection.. One of those darn defense mechanisms.

Great story and great thoughts!!! I like the brainy comments here
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Old 04-04-2006, 10:20 AM   #14
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This was a great question and inspired a big, long, self-reflective post on my blog. (Read here: http://christineolinger.blogspot.com.) I also posed the question to my writer's group (in a re-worked, non-fat-related form).

Thanks for bringing it to light.
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Old 06-08-2006, 02:18 PM   #15
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Gee, I forgot about this thread. Okay I won't lie, I was avoiding it because I felt a little silly. I just came back and read the responses and I'm happy to see I'm not the only one that feels this way.

I had a few people ask me what ever happened to Tom...

I havn't seen Tom in years, but he married a beautiful queen size lady and they now have 2 children.
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Old 06-08-2006, 02:42 PM   #16
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Realizations like that are great - it's especially awesome that you were able to find that type of clarity at such a young age (particularly before those horrid teenage years) .. rock on!!
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