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Old 03-15-2006, 09:46 AM   #1
TheSadeianLinguist
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Default Weird Exes! (Just for Jes)

So I mentioned in another thread that I had a boyfriend who was a transvestite.

I was 15 when this guy and I started dating. He was 16, very closeted, and no clue about sex. Well, upon discussing the BDSM community with him, he read up on it and basically became my sub. I was a domme, at 16, and no, this isn't some warped fantasy. I was pretty bad at it. I refused to give him a golden shower during the whole relationship. He wanted everything to be about my "enslavement" of him. Being a teenage girl, this was a little creepy. On the phone he informed me once he was wearing my underwear I'd left over there. I basically didn't act all that upset over it, and he got more and more into the trans thing: wearing make-up, making makeshift dresses, shaving his legs. He claimed he wanted to marry me, and did indeed propose.

My other really weird ex just had a freakish family. When I finally met his family, his mom and two teen siblings (we were 19 and 26), we went hiking. Good fun, right? Well, we're trotting along and I notice his two not mentally handicapped siblings squatting in a particularly deep stream. His mom turns to me and says, "They're peeing." I could have died. We broke up shortly after. He couldn't understand why.

Anyone else have weird ex stories?
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Old 03-15-2006, 09:52 AM   #2
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Default Weird Exes

hehehe I had a couple of them...but the one that stands out in my mind was the one who thought he was an artist.

We were just out of high school, and I was a big Black Sabbath fan. He did a pastel Ozzy drawing for me. He messed up something and used whiteout...it was the eye. The drawing was horrid. Reminds me of the drawing in Napolean Dynamite. But the weirdest was going to his house. His mother used to pick up road kill. She'd boil the skulls in a big pot in their backyard and then do indian beading on the skulls. EWWWWWWW Blanched beaded skulls eveywhere!!!!!
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Old 03-15-2006, 10:09 AM   #3
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Okay...I dated this one guy that I knew used to be gay. He'd asked me out and I decided to give a spin. I introduced him to my family; who afterward pulled me aside and were like "Uhhhm he's a little effeminante"

I got a little tired after a while of telling him to open the door for me...I'm the queen now...not you!

Next...crazed ex-husband who after we are married I find out is a virgin (at 33) okay...well the reason he'd been a virgin so long; he didn't like sex....but if we were in public he'd grab at my breasts or ass. I punched him in Costco for that told him not to touch me again...needless to say it didn't last.

I have more weird guy stories...but that's diggin' deep and they are mostly just not funny
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Old 03-15-2006, 11:26 AM   #4
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I'm afraid I was probably the weird ex.

The only thing that I can write publicly about my ex is that he slept with his baby blanket (called a "beek"), even after we lived together in our 20's. It was a stinky, pale yellow, frayed old thing and was nasty. I thought that was a little strange...
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Old 03-15-2006, 11:36 AM   #5
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I'm more prone to abusive or assholish exes than weird ones. (Always, always working on that).

I can tell a story about the worst date I ever had though.

I went to this guy's apartment because he had bugged me forever and wanted me to come over to watch Jesus Christ Superstar because I had never seen it. So I went over there. He was drunk and kept fast forwarding through the main parts of the movie to get to the songs, so he could sing along with them. He wanted to drive my car (drunk!) um, no, only I drive my car and no one else. He whined continuously about not having a car and having to take the bus. He also brought his rats out and let them crawl all over. I am a big animal lover, but rats, not so much.

So that was my most memorable date to date.
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Old 03-15-2006, 11:40 AM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TheSadeianLinguist
So I mentioned in another thread that I had a boyfriend who was a transvestite.

I had a guy who likes to cross dress sometimes decide he was going to move back to Texas for me. He used to live here and says I am genuine, whatever the hell that means.

When he was leaving Texas he wanted me to rent a U-Haul in my name because his Louisiana driver's license had expired. I said no way, but I'll take you to DPS to get a Texas license. So I took him up there to DPS a couple of times, and apparently he thinks this is the greatest thing anyone ever did for him. He's vowed to move back here and court me. Whatever. He disappears from online for long periods of time. Pretty cute, but appears to have lots of problems. Also complains a lot. Hates Lousiana. Hates most stuff.

Alas, this is the best offer I have gotten in QUITE some time.
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Old 03-15-2006, 12:03 PM   #7
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Originally Posted by moonvine
I went to this guy's apartment because he had bugged me forever and wanted me to come over to watch Jesus Christ Superstar because I had never seen it. So I went over there. He was drunk and kept fast forwarding through the main parts of the movie to get to the songs, so he could sing along with them. He wanted to drive my car (drunk!) um, no, only I drive my car and no one else. He whined continuously about not having a car and having to take the bus. He also brought his rats out and let them crawl all over. I am a big animal lover, but rats, not so much.

So that was my most memorable date to date.
You win! Agghhh! Eww!
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Old 03-15-2006, 12:37 PM   #8
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Here's my experience with someone slightly off the beaten path - I wouldn't say weird. I know this is in the realm of normal, I was just involved with someone who wasn't truly in touch with himself.

I was in a long-term relationship with a man not too long ago who one night wept and told me he had something he had to tell me. The weeping and stammering continued for what seemed like an hour though I'm sure it was much less. In my head I thought, "Oh God.. he's going to tell me he cheated on me." I just knew he was going to say it. Finally he got it out. He said he liked to dress in women's clothing sometimes and that it was usually at times of great stress in his life, he hadn't done it recently, etc. I was blown away, but so relieved that he hadn't cheated on me (I have a bad history of being involved with men who stray, so I am fearful bordering on paranoid about this). He could've said anything and I would've been accepting at that moment. I laughed a little and hugged him and told him it was OK and that he had no reason to be so upset. I told him I found it somewhat of a turn-on (did I really? I'm not sure. I used to think I was open to anything.).

After that night he started emailing me links from time to time to articles about crossdressers. His fingernails which he kept at a longer-than-normal length were better groomed than mine. This puzzled me and was embarrassing at times around my family, though fortunately no one ever said anything. He took me to a gallery to see a photo exhibit featuring transvestites. He insisted I see his favorite movie of all time, "Hedwig and the Angry Inch" a film about a glam-rock transvestite. He was sorely disappointed that I fell asleep during the movie. I couldn't help it. I had heard him talk about it so much I already hated Hedwig. Why was he so into a transvestite movie? I just didn't want to know and allowed myself to drift off.

One night I surprised him by wearing new lingerie and his response was, "Why is it only girls get to wear pretty stuff?" That was the last time I ever wore lingerie for him.

Our relationship continued and while I knew the majority of crossdressers were straight, his penchant for friendships with gay men worried me. Oooh and I forget the exact conversation, but he once described himself as "heteroflexible" which meant by his definition that he loved women, but the idea of sex with a man wasn't entirely unappealing. I loved this man and believed we had a future together - but never discussed my fears with him. I KNOW now I was in denial.

He broke up with me the day before our one year anniversary on my birthday and told me he no longer loved me, just like that. Two weeks prior he had told me he was considering a job in another state and wanted me to go with him. It made no sense to me that he stopped loving me so suddenly. I pressed him to tell me more and he said our goals were too different and while he used to think it didn't matter to him, the fact that I don't have an advanced degree was an issue for him. So we went our separate ways and I spent the next many months in therapy trying to figure out what happened over the last year. Did I mention my ex was a psychologist? Yep... hopefully he got some therapy himself.

One night "Hedwig and the Angry Inch" came on IFC and I decided I would watch it and try to figure out why the exbf loved it so much. I was so moved by the film. I laughed. I cried. I cried more. I loved Hedwig. Fast forward to today and I do have an understanding of that year and that relationship. Sometimes I still get mad at myself for keeping my worries to myself and not confronting him about things that now seemed so blatantly obvious. I learned some life lessons.. I grew.

I might add that my boyfriend of nearly nine months is without question a heterosexual fat-loving male. I love him and life is good.
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Old 03-15-2006, 03:53 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by moonvine
I'm more prone to abusive or assholish exes than weird ones. (Always, always working on that).

I can tell a story about the worst date I ever had though.

I went to this guy's apartment because he had bugged me forever and wanted me to come over to watch Jesus Christ Superstar because I had never seen it. So I went over there. He was drunk and kept fast forwarding through the main parts of the movie to get to the songs, so he could sing along with them. He wanted to drive my car (drunk!) um, no, only I drive my car and no one else. He whined continuously about not having a car and having to take the bus. He also brought his rats out and let them crawl all over. I am a big animal lover, but rats, not so much.

So that was my most memorable date to date.
Oh moonvine you made me laugh lol


I've had some weird exes. Some stuff I'm best not posting on here. lol Infact I'll not post any.

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Old 03-15-2006, 03:55 PM   #10
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I am a vine, not vile, thank you very much
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Old 03-15-2006, 04:07 PM   #11
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I am a vine, not vile, thank you very much
omg sorry LOL
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Old 03-15-2006, 04:21 PM   #12
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Ah, the stories I could tell you about my first husband. A very strange guy. But I think I'll pass.

I will, however tell you something about a couple of dates-from-hell (not with him - this was more recent). I will sum it up by giving men this advice:

Masturbation is NOT a good idea on a first date (unless it is by mutual consent).

'nuff said.
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Old 03-15-2006, 05:32 PM   #13
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Default One word Animals...EWWWWWWW

I went out with a gal that was totally turned on by animals erections
I found out on our first date and luckily never had a second date. Other than that deal most the gals I have gone out with are as level headed as can be expected. Everyone is different I guess and am pretty thankful to not find too many weirdos. Wait a minute....There are some others.....1. Gal I met online and when I went to see her I could tell she was slightly retarded. I totally couldn't tell by chatting or talking on the phone. One date only...No Kiss 2. Married woman I saw every other weekend for 4 months purely for fun/pleasure....I would pick her up at her house on Fridays and her husband would be there waving goodbye. I'd bring her home on Saturday or Sunday...He couldn't make things "work" the past 4 years and wasn't excited by her SSBBW frame...I met her on a personal ad with the "everyone has needs" heading on Yahoo Personals. She was normal in every aspect of life except the cheating part...I'm not sure if it's cheating though when her hubby gave her the green light and was 100% OK with this.... Oh well. It was kinda fun, but not fun at the same time. Tough to be with someone you know you will never have a "real" relationship with. BTW....Good idea for a thread
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Old 03-15-2006, 10:45 PM   #14
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I went out with a gal that was totally turned on by animals erections

Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a winner...

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Old 03-15-2006, 11:07 PM   #15
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Originally Posted by SoVerySoft
Ah, the stories I could tell you about my first husband. A very strange guy. But I think I'll pass.

I will, however tell you something about a couple of dates-from-hell (not with him - this was more recent). I will sum it up by giving men this advice:

Masturbation is NOT a good idea on a first date (unless it is by mutual consent).

'nuff said.

Randi did we date the same guy??????? It is possible. The one I dated was from New York City. LMAO!!!!
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Old 03-16-2006, 07:04 AM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SoVerySoft
Ah, the stories I could tell you about my first husband. A very strange guy. But I think I'll pass.

I will, however tell you something about a couple of dates-from-hell (not with him - this was more recent). I will sum it up by giving men this advice:

Masturbation is NOT a good idea on a first date (unless it is by mutual consent).

'nuff said.
Randi? No. No. I simply will not tolerate this kind of story-tease without resolution. If you won't post it, at least write it up and send it to my inbox, yes? Thank you in advance.
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Old 03-16-2006, 07:06 AM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MWBBWFanMan
I went out with a gal that was totally turned on by animals erections
I found out on our first date and luckily never had a second date. Other than that deal most the gals I have gone out with are as level headed as can be expected. Everyone is different I guess and am pretty thankful to not find too many weirdos. Wait a minute....There are some others.....1. Gal I met online and when I went to see her I could tell she was slightly retarded. I totally couldn't tell by chatting or talking on the phone.
And you, Fan Man. I need details and context, please. How'd you find this out on the first date? That really does sound like a story.
And the retarded woman. How did you not pick up on that on the phone???
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Old 03-16-2006, 07:11 AM   #18
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My sister-in-law has a mentally handicapped sister who sounds quite normal.
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Old 03-16-2006, 07:49 AM   #19
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So is it a visual or a behavioral clue that would then tip you off upon meeting her? I am by no means trying to be rude, but I'm curious.
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Old 03-16-2006, 09:20 AM   #20
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Okay I have a good one. LOL..still makes me laugh.

Well my ex would clip his toenails and leave them on the end table. No big deal right? Well I would get pissy and say thats gross..and his response was that he was saving them. Well then I catch him actually "chewing" on the toenails. OMG...its just completely gross. This guy was wacko anyways so it nothing surprised me.
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Old 03-16-2006, 09:26 AM   #21
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Originally Posted by Jes
So is it a visual or a behavioral clue that would then tip you off upon meeting her? I am by no means trying to be rude, but I'm curious.

You are curious about odd things
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Old 03-16-2006, 09:31 AM   #22
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Originally Posted by MWBBWFanMan
I went out with a gal that was totally turned on by animals erections
I found out on our first date and luckily never had a second date. Other than that deal most the gals I have gone out with are as level headed as can be expected. Everyone is different I guess and am pretty thankful to not find too many weirdos. Wait a minute....There are some others.....1. Gal I met online and when I went to see her I could tell she was slightly retarded. I totally couldn't tell by chatting or talking on the phone. One date only...No Kiss 2. Married woman I saw every other weekend for 4 months purely for fun/pleasure....I would pick her up at her house on Fridays and her husband would be there waving goodbye. I'd bring her home on Saturday or Sunday...He couldn't make things "work" the past 4 years and wasn't excited by her SSBBW frame...I met her on a personal ad with the "everyone has needs" heading on Yahoo Personals. She was normal in every aspect of life except the cheating part...I'm not sure if it's cheating though when her hubby gave her the green light and was 100% OK with this.... Oh well. It was kinda fun, but not fun at the same time. Tough to be with someone you know you will never have a "real" relationship with. BTW....Good idea for a thread



awwwww do you have so describe someone with a physical/mental disability as retarded? It is such a crappy word!


and the animal eractions......words fail me!?!
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Old 03-16-2006, 09:39 AM   #23
Jes
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Originally Posted by bigsexy920
You are curious about odd things
I am curious about EVERYTHING. I have a million questions. I just LOVE to hear experiential things, and stories and what makes people tick. It's true. And I'm not ashamed.
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Old 03-16-2006, 09:42 AM   #24
bigsexy920
Ok I'll be good.
 
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No reason for shame. I'm the same way acutally.

So seen any good cameras latley ?
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Old 03-16-2006, 09:43 AM   #25
BLUEeyedBanshee
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Ah, the stories I could tell you about my first husband. A very strange guy. But I think I'll pass.

I will, however tell you something about a couple of dates-from-hell (not with him - this was more recent). I will sum it up by giving men this advice:

Masturbation is NOT a good idea on a first date (unless it is by mutual consent).

'nuff said.

I'm sorry...I can't stop laughing at that one...I always wait for the second date at least before masturbating...hahahahahahaa

But...this reminds me...

Guy I went out with a few times...he and I go to a metro park. We go for a walk in the woods. He wants us both to strip down and go walking naked. I'm like ummmm no. Dude we've been on like 4 dates, most of which weren't all that great anyway, now you wanna get naked in the woods!! Well he said I didn't have to but he'd like to...and he stripped. Seriously. People weren't that far away. I was in shock.

I stood there till he got dressed and took me home.
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