Dimensions Forums  
Home Register Premium Membership Stories Ye Olde Library Health Issues Market Place Big Fashion

Go Back   Dimensions Forums > Discussion > Fat sexuality



Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 01-23-2009, 10:26 AM   #26
Canonista
Rep Dealer
 
Canonista's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,103
Canonista has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Canonista has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Canonista has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Canonista has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Canonista has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Canonista has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Canonista has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Canonista has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Canonista has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Canonista has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Canonista has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by mergirl View Post
Pm me it!!!
PM sent. You'll regret it.
__________________
"I like the libertarian view, which is to leave everyone alone." Clint Eastwood in USA Today (January 25, 2004)
Canonista is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-23-2009, 10:34 AM   #27
Weeze
Justin Bieber of Dims
 
Weeze's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: wouldn't YOU like to know..
Posts: 2,046
Weeze has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Weeze has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Weeze has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Weeze has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Weeze has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Weeze has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Weeze has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Weeze has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Weeze has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Weeze has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Weeze has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Canonista View Post
PM sent. You'll regret it.
She forwarded me yours. We sent the exact same one except mine was 3, not 8. hahahahahahahahah.
__________________
Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative.
Weeze is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-23-2009, 10:36 AM   #28
Canonista
Rep Dealer
 
Canonista's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,103
Canonista has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Canonista has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Canonista has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Canonista has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Canonista has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Canonista has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Canonista has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Canonista has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Canonista has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Canonista has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Canonista has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by krismiss View Post
She forwarded me yours. We sent the exact same one except mine was 3, not 8. hahahahahahahahah.
You have EXCELLENT taste in dirty jokes!
__________________
"I like the libertarian view, which is to leave everyone alone." Clint Eastwood in USA Today (January 25, 2004)
Canonista is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-23-2009, 11:48 AM   #29
Ernest Nagel
is old
 
Ernest Nagel's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Arlington, TX
Posts: 2,661
Ernest Nagel keeps pushing the rep limit!Ernest Nagel keeps pushing the rep limit!Ernest Nagel keeps pushing the rep limit!Ernest Nagel keeps pushing the rep limit!Ernest Nagel keeps pushing the rep limit!Ernest Nagel keeps pushing the rep limit!Ernest Nagel keeps pushing the rep limit!Ernest Nagel keeps pushing the rep limit!Ernest Nagel keeps pushing the rep limit!Ernest Nagel keeps pushing the rep limit!Ernest Nagel keeps pushing the rep limit!
Talking The Day The P*nis Asked For A Raise

Not bad by my standards but....

THE DAY THE P*NIS ASKED FOR A RAISE


I, the P*nis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:


I do physical labor.
I work at great depths.
I plunge headfirst into everything I do.
I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
I work in a damp environment.
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
I work in high temperatures.
My work exposes me to contagious diseases.

Sincerely,

P. Niss




The Response



Dear P*nis:
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:



You do not work 8 hours straight.
You fall asleep after brief work periods.
You do not always follow the orders of the management
team.
You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations.
You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing.
You will retire well before you are 65.
You are unable to work double shifts.
You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed the assigned task.
And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.

Sincerely,

V. Gina
__________________
"You will never be happier than you expect. To change your happiness, change your expectation." ~ Bette Davis
Ernest Nagel is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-23-2009, 12:08 PM   #30
Russ2d
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 856
Russ2d carries a lot of weight on this boardRuss2d carries a lot of weight on this boardRuss2d carries a lot of weight on this boardRuss2d carries a lot of weight on this boardRuss2d carries a lot of weight on this board
Default

Hehe, that was very cute
Russ2d is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-23-2009, 12:24 PM   #31
LillyBBBW
Wig Snatcher
 
LillyBBBW's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 9,794
LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default

An oldie but goodie:

A woman goes home after a very long work week. She's exhausted but somehow she can't seem to fall asleep. Suddenly she hears the front door slam and realizes that her husband has just arrived home. She begins to panic because she knows that when he comes in he's going to want to have sex and she is so tired. She pretends to be asleep.

He comes in, rummages around for a bit, climbs in to bed and sure enough starts tapping her. "Honey? Honey? Are you awake? Honey? Honey? Are you awake?" She leans over her shoulder and says, "Sweetie, I have an appointment at the gynecologists office first thing tomorrow morning, can we take a rain check?" "Ok," he says and he rolls over to go to sleep.

She is flooded with relief. Just as she's about to doze off her husband begins to tap her again, "Honey? Honey? Are you awake?" She takes a deep sigh, "What is it now?" He says, "Do you have a dental appointment tomorrow?"
__________________
Expecting the world to treat you kindly because you are a good person is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian.

"...If the only pain you recognize as valid is your own, of course you'll have trouble identifying it when you see it in other people. That's the trouble with narcissism. It makes you really inadequate and boring."

Have you hugged a fat girl today?

@~;~~
LillyBBBW is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-24-2009, 06:49 AM   #32
exile in thighville
groups/347570880589/
 
exile in thighville's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 3,993
exile in thighville keeps pushing the rep limit!exile in thighville keeps pushing the rep limit!exile in thighville keeps pushing the rep limit!exile in thighville keeps pushing the rep limit!exile in thighville keeps pushing the rep limit!exile in thighville keeps pushing the rep limit!exile in thighville keeps pushing the rep limit!exile in thighville keeps pushing the rep limit!exile in thighville keeps pushing the rep limit!exile in thighville keeps pushing the rep limit!exile in thighville keeps pushing the rep limit!
Default

What's better than sex with a 12 year old Laotian boy?
exile in thighville is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-24-2009, 06:49 AM   #33
exile in thighville
groups/347570880589/
 
exile in thighville's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 3,993
exile in thighville keeps pushing the rep limit!exile in thighville keeps pushing the rep limit!exile in thighville keeps pushing the rep limit!exile in thighville keeps pushing the rep limit!exile in thighville keeps pushing the rep limit!exile in thighville keeps pushing the rep limit!exile in thighville keeps pushing the rep limit!exile in thighville keeps pushing the rep limit!exile in thighville keeps pushing the rep limit!exile in thighville keeps pushing the rep limit!exile in thighville keeps pushing the rep limit!
Default

nothing
..............................
exile in thighville is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-24-2009, 07:19 AM   #34
Blackjack
Fupa Troopa
 
Blackjack's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 9,923
Blackjack has ascended what used to be the highest level.Blackjack has ascended what used to be the highest level.Blackjack has ascended what used to be the highest level.Blackjack has ascended what used to be the highest level.Blackjack has ascended what used to be the highest level.Blackjack has ascended what used to be the highest level.Blackjack has ascended what used to be the highest level.Blackjack has ascended what used to be the highest level.Blackjack has ascended what used to be the highest level.Blackjack has ascended what used to be the highest level.Blackjack has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default

The Aristocrats!
__________________
284/1001
Blackjack is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-24-2009, 07:47 AM   #35
No-No-Badkitty
Purrrrrrrrr~
 
No-No-Badkitty's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: North East Georgia
Posts: 825
No-No-Badkitty is a member of the 500 clubNo-No-Badkitty is a member of the 500 clubNo-No-Badkitty is a member of the 500 clubNo-No-Badkitty is a member of the 500 clubNo-No-Badkitty is a member of the 500 clubNo-No-Badkitty is a member of the 500 club
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by exile in thighville View Post
you guys are pussies. this is the tamest shit ever.

a pedophile and a boy go into the woods.

the pedophile says "are you scared?"

"yeah."

the pedophile says "me too."

the boy asks, "why are you scared?"

"because i have to go home alone."


Okay, I have to admit. I just don't get this one....
__________________

:kiss2:The Man I Love :kiss2:
No-No-Badkitty is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-24-2009, 08:31 AM   #36
succubus_dxb
Badonk. Adonk.
 
succubus_dxb's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Melbourne, Oz
Posts: 1,517
succubus_dxb has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!succubus_dxb has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!succubus_dxb has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!succubus_dxb has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!succubus_dxb has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!succubus_dxb has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!succubus_dxb has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!succubus_dxb has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!succubus_dxb has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!succubus_dxb has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!succubus_dxb has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
Default

there's nothing better than an MJ joke...

what do Michael Jackson and caviar have in common?

they both cum on little crackers



what did the father say to MJ on the beach?

'can you please get out of my son'
__________________
:eat1: Ain't nothin but a little baby phat :eat1:
succubus_dxb is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-24-2009, 08:36 AM   #37
Weeze
Justin Bieber of Dims
 
Weeze's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: wouldn't YOU like to know..
Posts: 2,046
Weeze has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Weeze has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Weeze has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Weeze has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Weeze has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Weeze has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Weeze has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Weeze has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Weeze has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Weeze has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Weeze has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Canonista View Post
You have EXCELLENT taste in dirty jokes!
Oh, you too my friend.

Honestly, Mer and I decided that 3 is much, much more disgusting than 8.
__________________
Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative.
Weeze is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-24-2009, 09:26 AM   #38
Canonista
Rep Dealer
 
Canonista's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,103
Canonista has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Canonista has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Canonista has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Canonista has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Canonista has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Canonista has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Canonista has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Canonista has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Canonista has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Canonista has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Canonista has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by succubus_dxb View Post
there's nothing better than an MJ joke...

what do Michael Jackson and caviar have in common?

they both cum on little crackers



what did the father say to MJ on the beach?

'can you please get out of my son'
When is bed time at Neverland Ranch?

When the big hand touches the little hand.
__________________
"I like the libertarian view, which is to leave everyone alone." Clint Eastwood in USA Today (January 25, 2004)
Canonista is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-24-2009, 09:30 AM   #39
exile in thighville
groups/347570880589/
 
exile in thighville's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 3,993
exile in thighville keeps pushing the rep limit!exile in thighville keeps pushing the rep limit!exile in thighville keeps pushing the rep limit!exile in thighville keeps pushing the rep limit!exile in thighville keeps pushing the rep limit!exile in thighville keeps pushing the rep limit!exile in thighville keeps pushing the rep limit!exile in thighville keeps pushing the rep limit!exile in thighville keeps pushing the rep limit!exile in thighville keeps pushing the rep limit!exile in thighville keeps pushing the rep limit!
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by No-No-Badkitty View Post
Okay, I have to admit. I just don't get this one....
he kills the kid.
exile in thighville is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-24-2009, 09:37 AM   #40
NancyGirl74
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 2,997
NancyGirl74 keeps pushing the rep limit!NancyGirl74 keeps pushing the rep limit!NancyGirl74 keeps pushing the rep limit!NancyGirl74 keeps pushing the rep limit!NancyGirl74 keeps pushing the rep limit!NancyGirl74 keeps pushing the rep limit!NancyGirl74 keeps pushing the rep limit!NancyGirl74 keeps pushing the rep limit!NancyGirl74 keeps pushing the rep limit!NancyGirl74 keeps pushing the rep limit!NancyGirl74 keeps pushing the rep limit!
Default

*dying laughing* Y'all ain't right. lol
NancyGirl74 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-24-2009, 09:49 AM   #41
LillyBBBW
Wig Snatcher
 
LillyBBBW's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 9,794
LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default

A lady decides to throw a costume party. This lady is a little eccentric so for this party she decides that everyone must come dressed as their favorite emotion. She decks out her place, pays the caterer and waits for her guests to arrive.

The doorbell rings. There's a woman standing there dressed all in pink from head to toe and covered wth feathers. "What are you supposed to be?" the lady asks. The woman replies, "I'm tickled pink." Pleased with the response the lady stands aside and says, "Come right in!"

The doorbell rings again and there's a man there dressed all in green. "Oh my! What are you supposed to be?" she says. "I'm green with envy," the man replies. She ushers in her new guest and thinks with sheer delight, "This is going to be a GREAT party!"

The doorbell rings one more. She opens the door to find two very tall, muscular men filling her entire doorway. One is a huge Rastafari guy with dredlocks to his waist. The other's got red hair and freckles, looks Irish maybe? They're both standing there stark naked without a stitch of clothing on their bodies. The Rasta has a bowl of custard in his hands and cupped over his privates. The Irishman has a giant pear in his hand. It's been hollowed out and his johnson inserted.

After overcoming a few moments of shock the lady sternly asks, "What the hell are you two guys doing?" The Rasta man speaks, in a thick Jamaican accent, "I am fucking 'dis custid, and my friend here has com in 'dis pear."
__________________
Expecting the world to treat you kindly because you are a good person is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian.

"...If the only pain you recognize as valid is your own, of course you'll have trouble identifying it when you see it in other people. That's the trouble with narcissism. It makes you really inadequate and boring."

Have you hugged a fat girl today?

@~;~~
LillyBBBW is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-24-2009, 11:42 AM   #42
kayrae
doot doot doot
 
kayrae's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 2,205
kayrae keeps pushing the rep limit!kayrae keeps pushing the rep limit!kayrae keeps pushing the rep limit!kayrae keeps pushing the rep limit!kayrae keeps pushing the rep limit!kayrae keeps pushing the rep limit!kayrae keeps pushing the rep limit!kayrae keeps pushing the rep limit!kayrae keeps pushing the rep limit!kayrae keeps pushing the rep limit!kayrae keeps pushing the rep limit!
Default

Please PM me the ban-worthy jokes, thanks.
kayrae is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-24-2009, 12:43 PM   #43
johnnytattoos
blah blah blah
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: the melting pot
Posts: 285
johnnytattoos knows EXACTLY what's going onjohnnytattoos knows EXACTLY what's going onjohnnytattoos knows EXACTLY what's going onjohnnytattoos knows EXACTLY what's going onjohnnytattoos knows EXACTLY what's going onjohnnytattoos knows EXACTLY what's going onjohnnytattoos knows EXACTLY what's going on
Default

Jack and Jill went up the hill
So Jack could lick Jill's candy.
But Jack got a shock and a mouthful of cock
'Cuz Jill's real name was Andy.
johnnytattoos is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-24-2009, 12:59 PM   #44
olwen
Disco Bear
 
olwen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: nyc
Posts: 6,966
olwen keeps pushing the rep limit!olwen keeps pushing the rep limit!olwen keeps pushing the rep limit!olwen keeps pushing the rep limit!olwen keeps pushing the rep limit!olwen keeps pushing the rep limit!olwen keeps pushing the rep limit!olwen keeps pushing the rep limit!olwen keeps pushing the rep limit!olwen keeps pushing the rep limit!olwen keeps pushing the rep limit!
Default

Not quite as dirty as some other jokes here, but it made me laugh:


Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the
possible designers of the human body.
The first one said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the
joints."
Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system
has many thousands of electrical connections."
The last one said, "Actually it must have been a civil engineer. Who
else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"
olwen is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-24-2009, 08:42 PM   #45
Sugar Magnolia
vmilwa :)
 
Sugar Magnolia's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Idaho
Posts: 569
Sugar Magnolia never has a post go unnoticedSugar Magnolia never has a post go unnoticedSugar Magnolia never has a post go unnoticedSugar Magnolia never has a post go unnoticedSugar Magnolia never has a post go unnoticedSugar Magnolia never has a post go unnoticedSugar Magnolia never has a post go unnoticedSugar Magnolia never has a post go unnoticed
Default

One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the husband starts
rubbing his wife's arm.
The wife turns over and says "I'm sorry honey, I've
got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay
fresh."
The husband, rejected, turns over.
A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife
again."Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?"
__________________
"When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace."
~J. Hendrix


"If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more."
~J. Austen's Emma
Sugar Magnolia is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-24-2009, 08:43 PM   #46
Mythik
Visualize Cod Peace
 
Mythik's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: The Hinterlands
Posts: 571
Mythik has super-sized repMythik has super-sized repMythik has super-sized repMythik has super-sized repMythik has super-sized rep
Default

What's the worst thing about being an atheist?


There's no one to talk to when you're having an orgasm.
Mythik is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-24-2009, 09:05 PM   #47
Green Eyed Fairy
Flash Dancing
 
Green Eyed Fairy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: In Your Head
Posts: 18,067
Green Eyed Fairy has ascended what used to be the highest level.Green Eyed Fairy has ascended what used to be the highest level.Green Eyed Fairy has ascended what used to be the highest level.Green Eyed Fairy has ascended what used to be the highest level.Green Eyed Fairy has ascended what used to be the highest level.Green Eyed Fairy has ascended what used to be the highest level.Green Eyed Fairy has ascended what used to be the highest level.Green Eyed Fairy has ascended what used to be the highest level.Green Eyed Fairy has ascended what used to be the highest level.Green Eyed Fairy has ascended what used to be the highest level.Green Eyed Fairy has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default

Little Red Riding Hood was on her way to see her grandmother in the forest. Her mother warned her "Don't walk through the forest, take the path, or else the Big Bad Wolf will catch you and suck your tits dry!" Little Red started towards her grandmother's house but decided to take the shortcut through the forest anyway. The turtle stopped Little Red and warned her "Turn back and use the path, because if the Big Bad Wolf finds you, he'll suck your tits dry!" Little Red was almost there, so she kept going through the forest. Sure enough, the Big Bad Wolf jumps out of nowhere and tells her "Take off your shirt Little Red Riding Hood - I'm gonna suck your tits dry!!". "Oh no you don't", yells Little Red, as she pulls up her skirt, "You're gonna eat me just like the story says!"


A police officer was patrolling the highway when he sees a guy tied up to a tree, crying. The officer stops and approaches the guy. "What's going on here?", he asks. The guy sobs, "I was driving and picked up a hitchhiker. He pulled a gun on me, robbed me, took all my money, my clothes, my car and then tied me up." The cop studied the guy for a moment, and then pulled down his pants and whipped out his dick. "I guess this isn't your lucky day, pal!"


A hunter kills a deer and brings it home. He decides to clean and serve the venison for supper. He knows his kids are fussy eaters, and won't eat it if they know what it is - so he does not tell them. His little boy keeps asking him, "What's for supper?" "You'll see", says his dad. They start eating supper and his daughter keeps asking what they're eating. "Ok," says her dad, "here's a hint, its what your mother sometimes calls me." "We're eating asshole!!", she screams.


A deep-sea diver is twenty feet below sea level when he sees another guy with no scuba gear. He goes down another thirty feet, and the guy with no equipment stays with him. He takes out a waterproof chalkboard and writes, "How the hell can you stay down this deep without equipment?" The guy takes the chalkboard and writes, "You asshole, I'm drowning."

A doctor and his wife were having a big argument at breakfast. "You aren't so good in bed either!", he shouted and stormed off to work. By mid morning, he decided he'd better make amends and called home.
"What took you so long to answer?"
"I was in bed."
"What were you doing in bed this late?"
"Getting a second opinion."
__________________
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]


"The longing of my heart is a fairy portrait of myself: I want to be pretty; I want to eliminate facts and fill up the gap with charms."

"See these eyes so green, I can stare for a thousand years, Colder than the moon
It's been so long and I've been putting out fire with gasoline"
Green Eyed Fairy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-24-2009, 09:55 PM   #48
Mythik
Visualize Cod Peace
 
Mythik's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: The Hinterlands
Posts: 571
Mythik has super-sized repMythik has super-sized repMythik has super-sized repMythik has super-sized repMythik has super-sized rep
Default

Two guys are walking down the street and they see a dog licking his balls. The first guy, envious of the dog's ability, says, "Oh, man, I sure wish I could do that..."

The other guy turns to him and says, "Well, go over and pet him, and maybe he'll let you."
Mythik is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-24-2009, 09:59 PM   #49
Mythik
Visualize Cod Peace
 
Mythik's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: The Hinterlands
Posts: 571
Mythik has super-sized repMythik has super-sized repMythik has super-sized repMythik has super-sized repMythik has super-sized rep
Default

A man walks into the bedroom, and hands his wife two aspirin and a glass of water.

"What's this for?" she asks.

"It's for your headache," he replies.

"But I don't have a headache."

"Ha! Gotcha!"
Mythik is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-26-2009, 09:03 PM   #50
Canonista
Rep Dealer
 
Canonista's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,103
Canonista has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Canonista has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Canonista has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Canonista has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Canonista has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Canonista has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Canonista has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Canonista has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Canonista has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Canonista has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Canonista has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
Default

Did you hear about the man with five penises?































His pants fit like a glove!
__________________
"I like the libertarian view, which is to leave everyone alone." Clint Eastwood in USA Today (January 25, 2004)
Canonista is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 12:03 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Copyright Dimensions Magazine. All rights reserved worldwide.