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Old 07-05-2011, 03:00 PM   #76
Fat Brian
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ignorantmonkey View Post
I was born thru my mom's anus!
You won't get any argument here.
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Old 07-06-2011, 12:08 PM   #77
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Thee once were two young girls of Birmingham
And here is a limerick concerning 'em
They lifted the frock
And diddled the cock
Of the bishop as he was confirming 'em


Now that bishop was nobody's fool
He'd been to a good public school
So he lifted his britches
And buggered those bitches
With his ten inch Episcopal tool
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Old 07-06-2011, 05:05 PM   #78
mel
This is My year!..again:)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by knobby59 View Post
Thee once were two young girls of Birmingham
And here is a limerick concerning 'em
They lifted the frock
And diddled the cock
Of the bishop as he was confirming 'em


Now that bishop was nobody's fool
He'd been to a good public school
So he lifted his britches
And buggered those bitches
With his ten inch Episcopal tool
hey I am from "a" Birmingham!!! lol
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Old 09-08-2011, 02:17 PM   #79
TimeTraveller
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Several of us were swapping dirty limericks. Since I'm known as the guy who likes fat chicks, I had to add one of my own, except I did it in the form of a higgledy piggledy.

A what?

First a little explanation. A Higgledy Piggledy is a distant cousin of the limerick. It has 3 lines of 6 syllables and 1 line of 4 syllables, and this pattern is repeated once more. The last syllables of each group must rhyme. Extra points for using a single 6-syllable word in one of the lines.

First a couple clean ones as examples. My favorite is about a certain Russian composer. Yeah I'm also known as the guy who likes classical music.
Quote:
Higgledy Piggledy,
Sergei Rachmaninoff
Said to his analyst,
"Strangely enough,

"Doctor, I fear that my
Latest concerti are
Dodecaphonically
Not up to snuff."
Here's another clean one about a pianist who is highly-regarded among collectors of rare old recordings but is little known today. He also married Mark Twain's daughter Clara.
Quote:
Higgledy Piggledy,
Ossip Gabrilovich,
Answered, when asked, "How did
So-and-so play?"

"Save for wrong notes, he was
Quasi-acceptable.
You'll get no gossip from
Ossip today."
Understand the pattern? Good. Now then, this was my risqué contribution:
Quote:
Honeymoon honeymoon,
Quarter-ton bride knew her
Husband had no urge for
Girls who were sleek.

He said, "Fat women are
Supervoluptuous.
Best part is foreplay lasts
Nearly all week!"
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Old 09-08-2011, 02:30 PM   #80
Duchess of York
HABETIS BONA DEUM
 
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BWAAHAHAHAAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Quote:
Originally Posted by johnnytattoos View Post
Jack and Jill went up the hill
So Jack could lick Jill's candy.
But Jack got a shock and a mouthful of cock
'Cuz Jill's real name was Andy.
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Old 09-10-2011, 02:39 PM   #81
GentleSavage
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This isn't so much a joke, as it is something funny I ask people if they've heard of.

Basically if I am in some silly discussion with people about whatever, I'll chime in and ask if anyone has ever heard of Colonel Ingus, but in a southern accent. They repeat it a few times trying to figure out what the pun is, and the look on their faces when they get it is a sight to behold.

So guys, have you heard of Colonel Ingus? Say it out loud if you don't think you have.
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Old 09-10-2011, 04:01 PM   #82
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GentleSavage View Post
This isn't so much a joke, as it is something funny I ask people if they've heard of.

Basically if I am in some silly discussion with people about whatever, I'll chime in and ask if anyone has ever heard of Colonel Ingus, but in a southern accent. They repeat it a few times trying to figure out what the pun is, and the look on their faces when they get it is a sight to behold.

So guys, have you heard of Colonel Ingus? Say it out loud if you don't think you have.
Wasn't he in command of the six brigade?
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Old 09-11-2011, 03:30 PM   #83
krystalltuerme
Car Repair & Smartassery
 
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Christopher Walken at his best:
http://www.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/665455/
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Old 09-12-2011, 08:11 AM   #84
NewfieGal
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I like Colonel Ingus he gave me my first Australian kiss, you know the kiss down under
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Old 09-12-2011, 02:32 PM   #85
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In North Carolina there is a highway exit where to left is the Seymour Johnson Air Force Base, and to the right is Moorehead City.
The sign keeps getting stolen!
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