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Old 01-30-2009, 07:47 PM   #1
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Default Size and GLBTQ accepting places

As I posted in the WB GLBTQ sticky thread, I'm always interested in hearing how others find social outlets in their communities that are both size and queer positive. If you have any such places in your town, post info about them here. If you have ideas of how to create such social spaces, let the rest of us know.

Thanks!
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Old 01-31-2009, 06:45 AM   #2
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I live in Providence RI and it's all about the gay community...I love it. Tons of clubs and bars, but also coffee shops that are "gay friendly". There is one particular one that I love, mostly because they aren't so in your face with rainbow flags and pink triangles everywhere. I actually have a funny story about it (I love telling stories)

When I had first moved my second apartment in Providence this coffee shop was up the street and around the corner. An older woman from work who we all called "Goma"..because her grandbabies couldn't say Grandma.so Goma stuck..lived across the street from me and recommended it. So I decided I would take a book and go have a latte and sit a while. So I ordered my latte (fabulous drinks and homemade pastry, btw) and sat down. There were about eh, 6 people there..all men and boy did I think I struck gold. Until I realized that whenever a new guy came in they would all get up and hug, or some were holding hands and I was like "ooooohh..OK..so I guess I'm not going to find a date for tonight after all" haha.

So...after that, the next time I went I was walking there thinking about the first time I went in and had realized it was a gay coffee shop. I was kind of giggling about it and stuff because I had really been checking out the guys lol...so I went in and made my order..but instead of ordering my large iced chai, I ordered a large gay chai. I felt the blood just drain from my face and swear I almost puked lol..but they were funny about it. The guy behind the counter was like "sweetie, you came to the right place...that's the only kind you'll find here"..So..I felt pretty stupid after that LOL but I never stopped going in because the food is so g*d dang good and the coffee drinks are fan-freaking-tasic.

To make a short story long haha, it;s called Reflections. I can't find a website for it, but there was a post on trip advisor...and I actually really love the first review. This pretty much sums up my great little city "Finally, yes, this does seem to be a gay hangout for this section of Provi. If you are turned off by gay people, you shouldn't leave your home. The diversity of this area of Provi is one of its greatest aspects. Bigots, stay at home."
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Old 01-31-2009, 12:58 PM   #3
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To be honest, every small, subculture club I've ever attended in Toronto has been incredibly accepting of size, orientation...and anything else. I can't speak for the mainstream clubs, though.

We also have a massive "gay village" centered on Church st, and they have never been rude to me when I show up with my fiance or straight friends. Toronto is good times!
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Old 01-31-2009, 01:14 PM   #4
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We are still trying to find a social outlet for George if we're honest. In the gay clubs here in Belfast, crossdressers/transvestites tend to be mocked. I've witnessed it unfortunately. There are 2 main clubs here that tend to focus on the who's who of the Belfast scene. The clubs are far too scene and dancy. Even older gay people tend to get mocked.

Also Belfast isn't a huge place and George's family and workmates don't know about his dressing, so getting seen is a problem if we even decided just to go shopping with him dressed.

Any other nights that crossdressing would be welcome at tend to be fetish nights. Whilst it would be amazing for George to have an evening out dressed "en femme", we don't want it to be about a fetish as that's not really what his crossdressing is. Also we have found that a lot of these nights aren't welcoming to monogamous couples.

All we want is somewhere for George to feel safe and happy, and where he can be dressed however he likes.

We are thinking the cinema, or maybe a meal in a gay bar during the day. Still it shouldn't be this much trouble, its only a bloody skirt and a pair of heels.
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Old 01-31-2009, 01:35 PM   #5
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We are still trying to find a social outlet for George if we're honest. In the gay clubs here in Belfast, crossdressers/transvestites tend to be mocked. I've witnessed it unfortunately. There are 2 main clubs here that tend to focus on the who's who of the Belfast scene. The clubs are far too scene and dancy. Even older gay people tend to get mocked.

Also Belfast isn't a huge place and George's family and workmates don't know about his dressing, so getting seen is a problem if we even decided just to go shopping with him dressed.

Any other nights that crossdressing would be welcome at tend to be fetish nights. Whilst it would be amazing for George to have an evening out dressed "en femme", we don't want it to be about a fetish as that's not really what his crossdressing is. Also we have found that a lot of these nights aren't welcoming to monogamous couples.

All we want is somewhere for George to feel safe and happy, and where he can be dressed however he likes.

We are thinking the cinema, or maybe a meal in a gay bar during the day. Still it shouldn't be this much trouble, its only a bloody skirt and a pair of heels.
Aw sorry to hear that Bexy. George is gorgeous en femme and I hope you can find a place where he feels safe. Even if you can find an establishment that is crossdresser-friendly (I once phoned a manicurist to ask if she would be okay and it turned out that she was more than happy to help my transsexual friend feel welcome), it still sucks being stared at on the streets.

I don't have any crossdresser friends in real life, but I do know a fair number of MtFs at different stages of transition. Some of them pass, others do not. Most of them have had pleasant experiences at the gay clubs here in London, with the occasional raised eyebrow if they use the other toilet.

I think that transsexual clubs are actually less crossdresser-friendly than gay clubs. They tend to be full of horny admirers and fetishistic crossdressers who perpetuate the stereotype, and as a feminine female I feel rather creeped out. There is also significant tension between the transsexuals and crossdressers, which will probably be unpleasant for George, even if he manages to explain that his dressing up is not just a cheap thrill.
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Old 01-31-2009, 05:23 PM   #6
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The tension is something I have noticed too. I think it is very hard for crossdressers to fit in. A lot of gay people I have met don't take them seriously and can mock them. So do a lot of straight people. And transexuals seem to get angry at them
I'm generalising here and I know I shouldn't. I suppose living in Belfast doesn't help. I love this but it is shocking how behind it can be sometimes. It is a very Christian, religious place that has only begun to celebrate Pride in the last 7 years and for the first few years there were only ever 50 people there.

I like the idea of the nail salon, but George has a phobia of nails (true story, ask him lol!).
To be honest its not the proprietors of places I worry about. A lot of places would say crossdressers/trans people are more than welcome but its the general public who might be there at the same time, or on our journey to and fro that I worry about. I just don't want anybody hurting him, physically or mentally.

I do think lunch in a gay bar here in town could be a good idea though. We will get there eventually!
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Old 02-03-2009, 09:28 AM   #7
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The tension is something I have noticed too. I think it is very hard for crossdressers to fit in. A lot of gay people I have met don't take them seriously and can mock them. So do a lot of straight people. And transexuals seem to get angry at them
I'm generalising here and I know I shouldn't. I suppose living in Belfast doesn't help. I love this but it is shocking how behind it can be sometimes. It is a very Christian, religious place that has only begun to celebrate Pride in the last 7 years and for the first few years there were only ever 50 people there.

I like the idea of the nail salon, but George has a phobia of nails (true story, ask him lol!).
To be honest its not the proprietors of places I worry about. A lot of places would say crossdressers/trans people are more than welcome but its the general public who might be there at the same time, or on our journey to and fro that I worry about. I just don't want anybody hurting him, physically or mentally.

I do think lunch in a gay bar here in town could be a good idea though. We will get there eventually!
Most places i have been in Ireland Including Belfast i thought were a bit uptight feeling. I really think its deffo to do with religion. I went to 'the first and only' sex shop in Derry when i was there and bought a cute tiny vibrator that looked like a pen. (i actually only went for a look but the guy was so nice i had to buy something from him). Apparently the guy who ran it was getting death threats and all sorts. Think you guys should go for a nice trip if you can get some cheap flights n a b n b. Ironically enough (after the deflated Brit bash) Blackpool, from what i experienced last year had some good queer pubs. I was in one "the flying handbag" and another one that i cant remember the name of but there were a lot of crossdressers..they were kinna loud and fabulous though and more evening wear than just a casual drink and walk about during the day. Its a shame that cross dressers have to be creatures of the night and of gay pubs only.. as you say its just a dress and some heels..people are stupid!
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Old 02-03-2009, 07:06 PM   #8
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Its a shame that cross dressers have to be creatures of the night and of gay pubs only.. as you say its just a dress and some heels..people are stupid!
I agree in the end of the day it's only fabric, heels were designed for men until women saw how awesome they were and stole them off us .

I've still to go out dressed as Bexy said but it's something I'm dying to do.
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Old 02-03-2009, 07:08 PM   #9
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I agree in the end of the day it's only fabric, heels were designed for men until women saw how awesome they were and stole them off us .

I've still to go out dressed as Bexy said but it's something I'm dying to do.
What's your shoe size? We should totally have a dress-up party.
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Old 02-03-2009, 07:14 PM   #10
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What's your shoe size? We should totally have a dress-up party.
lol, i'm a size 8 or 9 depending on the store.

*throws a dress up party*
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Old 02-03-2009, 07:20 PM   #11
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lol, i'm a size 8 or 9 depending on the store.

*throws a dress up party*
Oh no I am a size 3! But yay, we can probably share clothes. <3
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Old 02-03-2009, 07:22 PM   #12
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Oh no I am a size 3! But yay, we can probably share clothes. <3
God your feet are tiny .

Clothes size im a 14.

Funny thing is I have no idea what size I am in mens clothing and I have to check my tag to see what I am, but when it comes to girls clothing I always know what I am lol.
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Old 02-04-2009, 11:54 AM   #13
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Most places i have been in Ireland Including Belfast i thought were a bit uptight feeling. I really think its deffo to do with religion. I went to 'the first and only' sex shop in Derry when i was there and bought a cute tiny vibrator that looked like a pen. (i actually only went for a look but the guy was so nice i had to buy something from him). Apparently the guy who ran it was getting death threats and all sorts.
LOL THATS MY SHOP!! This is the company I work for, its one of our shops!!

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I agree in the end of the day it's only fabric, heels were designed for men until women saw how awesome they were and stole them off us .

I've still to go out dressed as Bexy said but it's something I'm dying to do.
Completely read this as you have yet to go out dressed up as me!
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Old 02-04-2009, 12:09 PM   #14
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LOL THATS MY SHOP!! This is the company I work for, its one of our shops!!



!
Oh haha.. really?? Brilliant. Its a small sexshop world indeed!
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Old 02-07-2009, 04:24 PM   #15
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I'm sure this isn't news to anyone living in Chicago, but for three of my four years of college I had an apartment in the Lakeview neighborhood which is very gay friendly. It may even be more gay than straight actually. I loved seeing the shock on my ultra conservative Christian parents' faces when we'd walk to a restaurant and pass a gay couple holding hands, explaining to my mom what the rainbow flags meant, or catch my dad glancing at the leather man on the cover of one of the gay newspapers around town.

Now that I think about it, Lakeview seemed kind of Utopian. I feel pretty sheltered again in my little Ohio town. I've never seen a PDA between gay folks here and I hate that.
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Old 02-11-2009, 01:36 PM   #16
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I'm sure this isn't news to anyone living in Chicago, but for three of my four years of college I had an apartment in the Lakeview neighborhood which is very gay friendly. It may even be more gay than straight actually. I loved seeing the shock on my ultra conservative Christian parents' faces when we'd walk to a restaurant and pass a gay couple holding hands, explaining to my mom what the rainbow flags meant, or catch my dad glancing at the leather man on the cover of one of the gay newspapers around town.

Now that I think about it, Lakeview seemed kind of Utopian. I feel pretty sheltered again in my little Ohio town. I've never seen a PDA between gay folks here and I hate that.
Yep. I love my city! Actually, I find pretty much anywhere I go in the city, I've never really had a problem and having always lived on the northside, I can't imagine not being able to reach over and hug my partner or hold her hand.

I don't know the last time you were in town, but the Center on Halsted is so nice! It's a great meeting place just for LGBT folk...it's a community center. Pretty amazing ...http://www.centeronhalsted.org/about.html
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Old 02-11-2009, 02:01 PM   #17
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If you are ever in Boise you should check out a coffee shop called "The Flying M". Fantastic baked goods, pretty good coffee and awesome tea. All armless chair seating. It's a mix of people, genders, and ages. At any given time you will see couple cuddling, people doing work on their laptop, or someone curled up on the sofa with a book. It's a pretty rad place and I miss it.
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