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Old 02-01-2009, 09:36 PM   #26
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Originally Posted by The Orange Mage View Post
Oral is a hangup for me, too. I won't give, I won't ask, and whoever I'm with needs to be good with that.
Well, at least you have the courtesy to not demand it if you don't want to give it. I can respect that. Some guys just don't care.
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Old 02-01-2009, 09:39 PM   #27
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If she does not like receiving oral, it is a deal breaker.
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Old 02-01-2009, 10:46 PM   #28
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Originally Posted by BigBeautifulMe View Post
I have sleep apnea, too, and I still enjoy oral (giving and receiving) and wet, sexy kisses during sex. Let's not blame this on the sleep apnea, k?
Years of waking up gasping for air make me kinda paranoid about not having any. I don't like anything in my face. Even "making out" is done start and stop unless we're outside and there's a bit of air flowing, or indoors with a fan.

If you looked into the back of my throat you'd see a very opening compared to most people's. I have a huge gag reflex and can't take most pills, either. My reasons for having breathing difficulties may not the same as yours.
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Old 02-01-2009, 10:56 PM   #29
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I've said it before... I'll say it again...


Mental stability is sexy.

Well Stan - so much for me and you clicking dude!! I'm nuts!!!!!!
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Old 02-01-2009, 10:58 PM   #30
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I don't have any deal breakers. I'll try anything - well OK if he doesn't do oral I'm gone. But I'm very happily married - so problem solved.
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Old 02-02-2009, 08:38 AM   #31
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Oral does nothing for me. I'd rather give than receive.

I have a bunch of weird high maintenence deal breakers. One is latex. Some guys scoff at using nonlatex condoms for various reasons. I'm allergic to latex so if a guy wont use the polyurethane it won't happen.

Also I can't deal with diddlers. I'm ticklish so light touching and poking will make me scramble to get away. I like guys who are a bit more aggressive in their persuits.

I don't like guys who need to be in control though. They want to tease you, watch you, ask you shit like, "You like that, huh?" What is this, Nova? Shut up, man. Instant mood killer for me.

I can't be with someone who is too much of a fetishist like GEF said. I'm game for almost anything but if someone absolutely can't get the motor running without shackles or The Ride of the Valkyries playing in the background it won't work.

I won't add anymore for fear of making myself look worse than I am. Aren't relationships strange? Seems the ones with whom I have great rapor there is no sexual compatability and but things are dynamic between me and the assholes who get on my nerves.
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Old 02-02-2009, 09:51 AM   #32
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Originally Posted by Mini View Post

Bondage - I have a rather severe dislike, bordering on phobia, of being restrained or confined. Nothing kills the mood like a panic attack.
I'm with you on bondage. The last bf mentioned it...I blew it off as a joke. After so many "jokes", I realized it wasn't.......

I told him I wasn't into it....and he was okay about it and didn't push it.

Funny thing is though....it goes back to the trust issue. Never trusted him enough to do that. Might have with a different person.

Quote:
Originally Posted by olwen View Post
Mini, some girls do like anal - I'm one of em, it's not something I've ever been denied tho, and I've yet to meet a guy who didn't like it, so I've never thought about anal being a deal breaker.
Yeah, usually don't have to "insist" on it. However, if I asked and he made me feel "nasty" or judged about it......it would end the sexual aspect of our relationship. It's okay if he said no.......just needs to be quite careful about the wording of that no...

Same respect I would give him in any requests he made of me.....

Quote:
Originally Posted by Canonista View Post

Also, any hint at all of another man in your life and sex isn't happening. I'm not interested in women in "open relationships" or outright cheating on their men. I have to know I'm the only one in your heart and your bed.
I agree with this- I insist upon monogamy- or I'll just keep on masturbating...alone.

Quote:
Originally Posted by James View Post
dishonesty.

no trust = no libido = no bueno
Bingo

Quote:
Originally Posted by fa_man_stan View Post
I've said it before... I'll say it again...


Mental stability is sexy.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sandie_Zitkus View Post
Well Stan - so much for me and you clicking dude!! I'm nuts!!!!!!
She took the words right out of my mouth Stan. I'm crushed.......
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Old 02-02-2009, 09:56 AM   #33
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My hard limits (sexual activities or contexts in which I will not participate): scat, water sports, extreme humiliation (taking or inflicting), ridiculous dirty talk and other lame sexual cliches (when approached in seriousness), rim jobs, body modification (including weight gain and loss), heavy sadism (inflictor or inflictee), TPE, bondage in tight spaces, any fetishes that rank higher than I do in the context of the relationship, and in most cases, polyamory.

Necessary in a partner: Respect, reciprocity, mutual physical attraction, honesty, acceptable hygiene, tendency toward dominance (and not necessarily in the kinky sense, although that is groovy too), and a healthy sense of humor.

Strongly appreciated in a sexual relationship: Love.

Strongly appreciated in a sexual partner: Enough self-confidence to indulge my switchy side when I'm in the mood to make a pet out of him. An interest in ageplay (I have a 17-year-old innergirl). ;D An appreciation of displays of submissive respect and service. A Tania fetish would be damn cool, too. xD
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Old 02-02-2009, 10:08 AM   #34
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deal breakers:
Oral seams to be the big one here, I have to say, I am a very oral person, I like to give and recieve, however if the person i am with doesnt like it that is okay, as long as they dont expect me to do for them what they are unwilling to do for me.

However I am also one of those people who.. If we are going to be doing oral.. it must be clean, I dont like going down on a man who just spent 12 hours sweating in his jeans! Nor would I expect him to do me if that was the case.. Within a couple of hours of bathing is just fine. other than that.. no way..

Bringing another person into the mix.. thats a deal breaker.. not into threesomes, and/or if they are seeing someone else.. well good bye.. i Dont share!

Pain is a deal breaker as well
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Old 02-02-2009, 06:26 PM   #35
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Originally Posted by LillyBBBW View Post
I don't like guys who need to be in control though. They want to tease you, watch you, ask you shit like, "You like that, huh?" What is this, Nova? Shut up, man.
You kill me, Lilly.
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Old 02-02-2009, 06:52 PM   #36
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Default Re: Sexual deal breakers or What do you require sexually from a lover?

Thank you Tania for some of the suggestions. I love giving oral pleasure but, not receiving it. I had an enema as a child and I still have bad memories -ah NO! I am not into pain, or talking dirty either.
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Old 02-02-2009, 07:04 PM   #37
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You kill me, Lilly.
I was laughing, too. She's a gem
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Old 02-02-2009, 07:55 PM   #38
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not that into getting oral, love giving it.

My requirement is that he grabs my ass frequently during foreplay/sex. It brings you closer together, shows some aggression, and just makes me feel very sexy.
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Old 02-02-2009, 07:57 PM   #39
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It's really interesting to read everyone's responses. I'd love to read more!
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Old 02-03-2009, 12:02 AM   #40
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Originally Posted by LillyBBBW View Post
Oral does nothing for me. I'd rather give than receive.

I have a bunch of weird high maintenence deal breakers. One is latex. Some guys scoff at using nonlatex condoms for various reasons. I'm allergic to latex so if a guy wont use the polyurethane it won't happen.
Just a thought...if a guy insists on latex, no issues, put a lambskin OVER latex, then presto chango...and if he complains about lack of stimulation, put a bit of lube in the condom between the two condoms...instant MORE stimulation as the condoms move more...

just call me helpee helperton
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Old 02-03-2009, 12:04 AM   #41
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Deal breakers...

no condoms, married, bad kisser,no chemistry, hates oral of all kinds, hates to laugh, wont play...

sex is supposed to be fun, if they can't have some fun, see ya later...
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Old 02-03-2009, 01:13 AM   #42
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Must:

A sense of humor

A healthy regard for your own body. The dark is fun now and again, but come on.

Honor in your dealings.

Hygiene.

Some of these things, I swear! It's like Tom Waits said: "Never saw the East Coast until I moved out West...never saw the sunrise 'til I stayed up all night." You don't notice things until you discover they're not always there.
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Old 02-03-2009, 02:03 AM   #43
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I have never had sex (I am 29 and one half) but when I do I imagine that I will be a careing and accepting lover of all types of 'kinks' from the goodly maiden whom takes me as her duke

also forsooth I quiver at the thought of a pair of fine buttocks breaking wind upon a pastry-cake, as I, the Baker, stand on looking with Sadness

also I love Anime.

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Old 02-03-2009, 02:25 AM   #44
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YES!!!!! I couldn't agree with you more.

Quote:
Originally Posted by SocialbFly View Post
Deal breakers...

no condoms, married, bad kisser,no chemistry, hates oral of all kinds, hates to laugh, wont play...

sex is supposed to be fun, if they can't have some fun, see ya later...
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Old 02-03-2009, 02:33 AM   #45
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YES!!!!! I couldn't agree with you more.

except i forgot to say yucky teeth too, but that has a story attached to it

how ya doing sword???
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Old 02-03-2009, 03:44 AM   #46
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...
Also I can't deal with diddlers. I'm ticklish so light touching and poking will make me scramble to get away. I like guys who are a bit more aggressive in their persuits.
...
Seems the ones with whom I have great rapor there is no sexual compatability and but things are dynamic between me and the assholes who get on my nerves.
Lilly, I could not agree with you more on these two points. Hopefully I will one day meet someone that changes that second part.

My deal breakers have pretty much already been mentioned in this thread. Bad kissers. Bad hygiene (I have a HUGE thing about men having clean, short finger/toenails *shudder*). Too unsure about themselves to be aggressive.
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Old 02-03-2009, 08:28 AM   #47
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I'm one of those weird guys that really doesn't like receiving oral. I have no problems giving it, but I'm actually better with my hands.

A really long cuddle afterwards is nice.
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Old 02-03-2009, 11:37 AM   #48
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Well Stan - so much for me and you clicking dude!! I'm nuts!!!!!!
Some craziness is ok Sandie... having a gal who knows how to cook bratwurst is the next best thing...
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Old 02-03-2009, 11:53 AM   #49
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There are still people who don't give oral?? Really??? What are you bring to the table if you don't give oral (especailly as a guy)?


My list is pretty short.. .Scat...

The rest I'll try if the other person is cool with it. I have never done water sports or anything and I don't think I'm missing out but... its not like it'll kill me.

I still can't get over a man who doesn't give oral. I love going down on a women... When you get in that spot and find the right rhythm and the girl bucks her hips and you have to nearly pin her down... fantastic, wouldn't trade it for the world...

and saying yoyu dont' ask for oral in return is not a fair trade off... Many (most?) women can't cum from sex but can climax from oral. So when you say "I don't give it and I don't ask for it" you're basically saying "I can't be bothered or trouble to satifsy you but lucky my biology saves me that problem."
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Old 02-03-2009, 01:17 PM   #50
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Cors keeps pushing the rep limit!Cors keeps pushing the rep limit!Cors keeps pushing the rep limit!Cors keeps pushing the rep limit!Cors keeps pushing the rep limit!Cors keeps pushing the rep limit!Cors keeps pushing the rep limit!Cors keeps pushing the rep limit!Cors keeps pushing the rep limit!Cors keeps pushing the rep limit!Cors keeps pushing the rep limit!
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Originally Posted by braindeadhead View Post
There are still people who don't give oral?? Really??? What are you bring to the table if you don't give oral (especailly as a guy)?
To the best of my knowledge, most men actually DO NOT give the female oral, let alone like doing so.

If popular women's magazines like Cosmopolitian are to be believed, most females are actually pretty disgruntled with their sex life - male being too small, not having enough stamina, being out of shape, uncreative, selfish... the list goes on and on.
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