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Old 04-14-2011, 05:32 PM   #576
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IC that I'm one of the queerest mofos you'll ever meet, and I was not born this way. No genetic hardwiring, no chromosomes slightly off center, and I'm not the only queer person who rejects the 'born this way' argument.
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Old 04-15-2011, 01:45 AM   #577
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IC that I'm one of the queerest mofos you'll ever meet, and I was not born this way. No genetic hardwiring, no chromosomes slightly off center, and I'm not the only queer person who rejects the 'born this way' argument.
I don't have a proper opinion on the subject. Care to elaborate?

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Old 04-15-2011, 06:08 AM   #578
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Thanks, Cors-I miss a lot of the folks from this board, including you.

In terms of elaborating, the arc of my life suggests that sexuality and gender expression are part of a complex matrix that can't be explained by reductive genetics. I don't see much evidence to support, in my own life, that my non-heterosexual make-up is hard wired. I can't speak to everyone else's sexuality, mind you, but I am not the only person I've spoken to who identifies as some type of LGBTQ person who feels similarly.

To insist that to be LGBTQ, one must have some genetic or hormonal difference from straight people , is to shore up the idea that the only reason non heterosexuality is 'OK' is because no one 'chooses' to be queer. The unspoken part of that declaration is that, if people weren't biologically destined to be queer, they'd be straight (and loving it), privileging heterosexuality in a way that offends me.

I think the "born this way" idea allows for all kinds of people to use science to find a 'cure' for things that aren't diseases and don't need to be cured, like queer people. It reinforces a very narrow view of what 'normal' humanity looks like, in my opinion. Whether its god or science, we seem to be a species that has to find reasons beyond our control to justify aspects of ourselves. I am what I am, and I don't need to cast blame, or offer hosannas, to something beyond my agency, in order to be a fully realised and fully accepted member of the human race.
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Old 04-15-2011, 07:21 PM   #579
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Ah, Butchie, you are so smart it's hot.

The other side of the coin is that I think we've needed to play up the "born this way" notion to reinforce the reality and stability of queerness in one's life. It helps solidify an argument that people can't help but choose queer because it is so deeply part of who they are, down to the core of their genes. I'm not saying I agree, it's just that it's interesting that we haven't been having enough honest conversations about where homosexuality lies because the community's always on the defensive.

I also think it's useful when talking to people of faith with particular religious notions about queerness, e.g. we are created this way...

things to think about!!
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Old 04-18-2011, 06:50 AM   #580
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I think in an ideal world, the only person who might care about the why is the person themself, and maybe their partner. But in context of a society in which many still condemn all forms of ‘queer,’ some call them abhorrent or morally wrong, and a few still try to ‘fix’ queer people….then I think ‘born this way’ has appeal as a simple defence. |t is sort of “look, I’d fit into your world view if I could, but I’m born different, I don’t have a choice. How can it be wrong when it isn’t even a choice?”

But of course, that approach does over simplify human nature, and cuts off a lot of valid discussion. I guess it is a bit like how some in the size acceptance movement don’t like any talk of deliberate and long term weight gain or loss, they also want to use the “Born this way, so can’t do anything about it” argument.
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Old 04-18-2011, 07:35 AM   #581
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Old 04-23-2011, 04:03 AM   #582
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IC that I'm possibly wanting to try going all out girl-mode appearance-wise soon, just to see if I like it. I totally need to find someone who can do my makeup...and I'd probably require a nice wig... Guh, effort. D:
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Old 04-23-2011, 07:56 AM   #583
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IC that I'm possibly wanting to try going all out girl-mode appearance-wise soon, just to see if I like it. I totally need to find someone who can do my makeup...and I'd probably require a nice wig... Guh, effort. D:
Wigs are overrated, don't be a wigger, just grow your hair out.
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Old 04-23-2011, 08:01 AM   #584
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I would but I'm thinning. Though my hair is actually pretty similar to yours, I think, in how it is.
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Old 04-23-2011, 08:02 AM   #585
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I'd help you but I'm all the way over here lol.

Wigs arent that bad, lol. I wear some sometimes. For special occasions I guess lol.
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Old 04-23-2011, 08:06 AM   #586
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I wore a wig once, for a halloween costume when I was 8 Meh, just something about wearing a wig feels wrong to me. Even the word does. I don't know why. :x
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Old 04-24-2011, 08:55 PM   #587
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I am not a big fan of wigs since I tend to find them uncomfortable, but I'd love to get a blonde one just because! Hard to find one that would fit my skintone though.

IC that I am on a toy spree and my collection is getting pretty huge (50+, many small items though)! Playmates would be nice.
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Old 04-30-2011, 06:24 PM   #588
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IC I have a physical crush on a co-worker and I think she knows. Her knowing may have something to do with her catching me looking at her huge juicy bottom like this . She has one of those disproportionately large pear shapes that get me every time I see her waddling around.
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Old 05-06-2011, 11:12 AM   #589
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I was "born this way." I don't know that I'm biologically or hormonally different from "straight" people--I have no evidence of this--but I was born this way. I don't think being born this way indicates a biological or hormonal difference, necessarily.

Also I don't much care for Lady Gaga's music, etc.
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Old 05-06-2011, 03:34 PM   #590
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It's weird, but I feel like I'm in the "don't care" camp. If I was born this way or not just doesn't matter to me. I am who I am.
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Old 05-07-2011, 07:54 PM   #591
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IC Keith and I have been together for 6 months this week. I know it isn't a huge deal, but it's the most successful relationship either of us has had in a while. I'm really proud of us--even if it is only 6 months.
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Old 05-11-2011, 11:20 PM   #592
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IC that Im a FFA that wants, more then anything else, to be a relationship with another BBW. Though I'm pretty good with men, Im absolutely terrible with women and they twist my tongue up so badly I can't flirt with them I'm so awful with cute chubby girls that i want to kick myself!!!!!
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Old 05-12-2011, 05:37 AM   #593
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IC that Im a FFA that wants, more then anything else, to be a relationship with another BBW. Though I'm pretty good with men, Im absolutely terrible with women and they twist my tongue up so badly I can't flirt with them I'm so awful with cute chubby girls that i want to kick myself!!!!!
I'm the same way, and wish I had good advice for how to overcome it. The only one that seems to work is "Just be Yourself." Welcome to the boards, guam girl!
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Old 05-12-2011, 06:23 AM   #594
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I'm the same way, and wish I had good advice for how to overcome it. The only one that seems to work is "Just be Yourself." Welcome to the boards, guam girl!
Thanks butch! I appreciate it Maybe we'll both be lucky sooner then later!
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Old 05-12-2011, 09:37 PM   #595
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I'm a FFA also would love to be in a relationship with another bbw but feel being so fem (aside from the extreme number of hockey related shirts & jerseys I own) puts me in a serious box made out of lipstick and hair products. The box that people seem to think says I Kelly am a girl who is desperately trying to be pretty for a man.
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Old 05-12-2011, 09:43 PM   #596
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I'm a FFA also would love to be in a relationship with another bbw but feel being so fem (aside from the extreme number of hockey related shirts & jerseys I own) puts me in a serious box made out of lipstick and hair products. The box that people seem to think says I Kelly am a girl who is desperately trying to be pretty for a man.
I know women who are lesbian and bi who wear makeup to please themselves AND their partner or potential partners....makeup doesn't necessarily signify 'looking for a man'. There are uber-femme lesbians and uber-masculine lesbians and whole bunch that aren't either extreme. If you like to wear it, then more power to you. If you like to wear it with your hockey shirts then kick-ass with that too!
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Old 05-12-2011, 10:08 PM   #597
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I'm a FFA also would love to be in a relationship with another bbw but feel being so fem (aside from the extreme number of hockey related shirts & jerseys I own) puts me in a serious box made out of lipstick and hair products. The box that people seem to think says I Kelly am a girl who is desperately trying to be pretty for a man.
Oh man, don't even sweat it! There are so many lesbians that like a girl that primps, it would seriously surprise you! My girlfriend wears makeup from time to time(a few times a month), and she looks stunning with or without it(I mean that), but shit, I don't go to the store for chocolate without at least mascara(concealer, maybe some lip stain) lol Although, I kind of get pissy when she gets in my stuff and uses my good liner or my eye primer, girlfriends should never share cosmetics, this causes problems.

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Old 05-13-2011, 01:09 AM   #598
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It's weird, but I feel like I'm in the "don't care" camp. If I was born this way or not just doesn't matter to me. I am who I am.
I think I am in that camp too! I gave what Butch said quite a bit of thought and found that I don't have a strong opinion either way. I am content with my sexuality and gender identity, though I do bristle a little when people insist my strict religious upbringing, lack of traditional loving father figure and traumatic experiences with males made me turn to fat butch women.

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IC Keith and I have been together for 6 months this week. I know it isn't a huge deal, but it's the most successful relationship either of us has had in a while. I'm really proud of us--even if it is only 6 months.
Six months is a milestone! Congratulations to you both and wishing you more happy times together!

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IC that Im a FFA that wants, more then anything else, to be a relationship with another BBW. Though I'm pretty good with men, Im absolutely terrible with women and they twist my tongue up so badly I can't flirt with them I'm so awful with cute chubby girls that i want to kick myself!!!!!
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I'm a FFA also would love to be in a relationship with another bbw but feel being so fem (aside from the extreme number of hockey related shirts & jerseys I own) puts me in a serious box made out of lipstick and hair products. The box that people seem to think says I Kelly am a girl who is desperately trying to be pretty for a man.
I can relate! Hang in there, though!
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Old 05-13-2011, 08:44 PM   #599
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I'm a FFA also would love to be in a relationship with another bbw but feel being so fem (aside from the extreme number of hockey related shirts & jerseys I own) puts me in a serious box made out of lipstick and hair products. The box that people seem to think says I Kelly am a girl who is desperately trying to be pretty for a man.
I like makeup, A LOT. I don't give two craps about whether or not someone else likes it, no matter what they are. It's fun and makes me feel better about things I am insecure about. I don't see the downside.

I am into femme girls and am one. I personally don't care if that boxes me in; someone else can always fit into that box with me .

As an unrelated aside, I hate the term "straight-acting" to imply that because you don't oppose some stereotypically traditional practices/ideals of the straight-male-dominated world you are suddenly less valid as a LGBTQ person. To be opposed for the sake of being so is allowing the hierarchy of the world you oppose to continue to dictate behavioral policies to you. Truly rebelling is doing what you want regardless of what others think and/or respect, not doing it to purposely oppose others.

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I think I am in that camp too! I gave what Butch said quite a bit of thought and found that I don't have a strong opinion either way. I am content with my sexuality and gender identity, though I do bristle a little when people insist my strict religious upbringing, lack of traditional loving father figure and traumatic experiences with males made me turn to fat butch women.

<text removed>

I can relate! Hang in there, though!
I find that when I try to analyze the why of who and how I am, I usually end up thinking, why does it matter? My mom and dad do love me; they were there and still are. I did not have anything resembling a strict religious upbringing (Christmas + Easter Mass Roman Catholic upbringing). I've never been anything remotely poor. Other than assholes being rude, I've never had a close traumatic experience with either sex. I really haven't had any catalyzing events or facets of my life that could be traced to why I am how I am.

I like femme women of any weight, I'd say with a preference for average to fat women. Why? I don't know or care; they're pretty... I think you like fat butch women because you find them sexy; nothing more or less. There are some that make me melt.

I personally don't like the idea of validation for my attractions or gender identity and expression. I would rather just be accepted carte blanche for what I am rather than validated for why I am.
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Old 05-14-2011, 02:15 PM   #600
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