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Old 06-12-2011, 04:49 AM   #626
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I confess I saw Butchie's partner at Pride!!! I mean, through a sea of people and we've never met and I had to run to meet someone but still!!!!
I wondered if you would be at Pride things, and this makes me happy. Hopefully you'll meet soon. Also, hoping you had a good time at pride.


Sorry that some of you won't be able to celebrate pride this year. Just play some gaga or katy perry (the two artists I heard the most at the parade) and wave a rainbow around, and it will almost be like you're having your own pride.
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Old 06-12-2011, 07:24 AM   #627
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I missed Pittsburgh's 'Pride in the Streets' celebration for the second year in a row. >_<

On the plus side it is because I was cuddling and going on a kind of-date with a super cute trans girl
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Old 06-12-2011, 07:19 PM   #628
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IC that I had a great time at the pride parade tonight. Love my people!
Jealous!

All I get are conservative dutch people celebrating their stupid flowers. I've never been to a pride event and would love to go.
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Old 06-13-2011, 07:29 AM   #629
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Jealous!

All I get are conservative dutch people celebrating their stupid flowers. I've never been to a pride event and would love to go.
aww, I'm sorry to hear that. My partner and I were talking about going to pride in NYC some day, so maybe you could plan a trip to a city's pride celebration some day as well?
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Old 06-13-2011, 10:57 AM   #630
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Looks like my city is kind of celebrating Pride. They're putting the Pride flag up for an entire week outside of City Hall instead of the Ontario flag, so that's cool. And they're still calling that week "Pride Week" but they're not really doing much for Pride itself. They're having a talent search concert in the park on that weekend but no drag queens, queer bands, etc I'm gonna have a boring summer. Pride festivities are pretty much the only socializing I do.
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Old 06-14-2011, 02:47 PM   #631
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aww, I'm sorry to hear that. My partner and I were talking about going to pride in NYC some day, so maybe you could plan a trip to a city's pride celebration some day as well?
I'm sent to CA occasionally for work. Hmm...
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Old 06-15-2011, 12:23 AM   #632
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I posted it on the other confessions, but what the hell.
Truth: I think I might actually be gay after all... and it honestly scares the fuck out of me.
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Old 06-15-2011, 12:30 AM   #633
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Jealous!

All I get are conservative dutch people celebrating their stupid flowers. I've never been to a pride event and would love to go.
why do i feel like this means you live in pennsylvania too?
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Old 06-15-2011, 04:03 AM   #634
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I posted it on the other confessions, but what the hell.
Truth: I think I might actually be gay after all... and it honestly scares the fuck out of me.
I'm sorry you're scared, and if you ever need someone to talk to, you know how to find me. I'll save you the platitudes about coming out, being true to ones self, or what have you, and just let you know that being scared is part of the process, sadly, for many of us.
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Old 06-15-2011, 05:18 AM   #635
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IC that I posted a picture of myself in the "Recent Picture" thread in the Lounge and it doesn't resemble what I feel I look like in the least.
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Old 06-16-2011, 06:08 PM   #636
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why do i feel like this means you live in pennsylvania too?
Nope, West Michigan.
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Old 06-16-2011, 06:14 PM   #637
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I'm sorry you're scared, and if you ever need someone to talk to, you know how to find me. I'll save you the platitudes about coming out, being true to ones self, or what have you, and just let you know that being scared is part of the process, sadly, for many of us.
Couldn't have said it better with hundreds more words.
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Old 06-17-2011, 08:24 PM   #638
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IC That I'm going to England...soon. Don't know exactly when or how, but I'm going to do it!
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Old 06-19-2011, 08:38 PM   #639
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I'm sorry you're scared, and if you ever need someone to talk to, you know how to find me. I'll save you the platitudes about coming out, being true to ones self, or what have you, and just let you know that being scared is part of the process, sadly, for many of us.
Exactly this!

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IC that I posted a picture of myself in the "Recent Picture" thread in the Lounge and it doesn't resemble what I feel I look like in the least.
I know how that feels. FWIW, you look great!

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IC That I'm going to England...soon. Don't know exactly when or how, but I'm going to do it!
Hehe, visiting someone? Where in England will you be?

IC that I reconnected with someone I first met almost 8 years ago at a women's event just before I left Singapore. I had an epic crush on her for years and remember my gay mutual friends going down girrrrrrl, down because she had a girlfriend! She's cute, cuddly, clever, butch and... very, very attached! My heart is someplace else so it didn't sting but haha aw, I need better luck next time!

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Old 06-21-2011, 11:27 PM   #640
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IC My Mama's church tried to turn her against me in the last month, she sat me down for a "coming to Jesus talk" where she told me if I was gay, then maybe I should move out, and maybe I needed to seek help. Instead of acting angry and hateful, I told her how hurt I was, how I couldn't look at her the same ever again, how a large part of our friendship was lost forever by her cruel words and ignorant attitude. I asked her if the church and her family had been discussing me, and telling her what she should do....she actually apologized and hugged me and told me how dumb she had acted.

She said she doesn't want people to hate me, or treat me badly, and I told her to set an example, and love me just the way she had been for twenty eight years, and I could handle the rest of the world.
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Old 06-21-2011, 11:40 PM   #641
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I'm tired of trying to work out what I am or what I'm attracted to. It's exhausting.
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Old 06-21-2011, 11:42 PM   #642
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For what feels like the first time in my life, I have no idea in hell who or what I am. And everything about this is scaring me.
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Old 06-25-2011, 07:03 PM   #643
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Mom and I went over the definition of "androgyne" today. She wants me to bring it up in therapy I'm afraid of them not knowing anything about it and thinking I'm crazier than they already think I am. With a city so... unaccepting... of people even the least bit different, this is going to be tough. How do you explain that kind of thing? And then say you're comfortable with this definition, but the torture of everyday life because of it is what's bothering you, without having someone unspecialized trying to "fix" you?
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Old 06-29-2011, 05:13 PM   #644
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How did it go, Carla? *hugs*
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Old 07-01-2011, 07:47 AM   #645
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How do you explain that kind of thing? And then say you're comfortable with this definition, but the torture of everyday life because of it is what's bothering you, without having someone unspecialized trying to "fix" you?
You're more common in your feeling of this than you think.

I personally don't have any issues being transsexual; it's never bothered me. What bothers me is how many people treat and view transsexuals that bothers me. Acceptance can often be more about accepting the consequences with others of what you are than with yourself.

Don't find a doctor trying to fix you, you want a doctor trying to help you think through your own feelings and arrive at your own conclusions.

Either way, we all hope you feel better about who you are.
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Old 07-01-2011, 08:01 AM   #646
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My doctor didn't Ask anything about how I was doing or things that bothered me. He said to bring it up in group therapy if anything was But I don't trust that idea to work.

It definitely is more an "oh Gawd, why can't society accept me" thing than something inside of me. I can, for the most part, accept who I am, but if I seem to challenge society's norms in any way, someone always has something bad to say.

For example, I went to get an oil change yesterday at my brother's car shop. And I was discussing going to college for Auto Mech because it came easy to me and I've worked on motors since I was a child. I even asked the other mechanics how hard it is to get in. They said it was easy and basically a guaranteed job. Then I said I was hoping to get in the field, and they all started laughing. Then one piped in "women don't work on cars. Women work in beauty salons and be shrinks." And the other guys laughed even more.

I was angry and disheartened.
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Old 07-01-2011, 08:04 AM   #647
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Finishd posing too quickly. Double posting.

I was angry and disheartened. When the laughter died down, the mechanic working on my car said "there's only two types of women who work on cars. Lesbians and women who want to be men." and I retorted "what if someone is neither of those and just enjoys getting their hands dirty and being around powerful machines?". He flatly said "impossible. There's something wrong with a woman like that."

some world.
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Old 07-01-2011, 07:27 PM   #648
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My doctor didn't Ask anything about how I was doing or things that bothered me. He said to bring it up in group therapy if anything was But I don't trust that idea to work.

It definitely is more an "oh Gawd, why can't society accept me" thing than something inside of me. I can, for the most part, accept who I am, but if I seem to challenge society's norms in any way, someone always has something bad to say.

For example, I went to get an oil change yesterday at my brother's car shop. And I was discussing going to college for Auto Mech because it came easy to me and I've worked on motors since I was a child. I even asked the other mechanics how hard it is to get in. They said it was easy and basically a guaranteed job. Then I said I was hoping to get in the field, and they all started laughing. Then one piped in "women don't work on cars. Women work in beauty salons and be shrinks." And the other guys laughed even more.

I was angry and disheartened.
I do all my own work on all my motorcycles and cars(I mean these cars/bikes only go out to have alignments or new tires). I never went to school for it though, I just grew up around my dad working on his toys(E-Types, Corvettes, SLs, 911s, etc). I am girly and two of my biggest interests are high fashion and makeup artistry. I never wanted to be a man but I am a lesbian. It's just that you don't have to do or subscribe to what is expected.

Don't get too down about what the mechanics say; it isn't shocking that an auto mechanic may say something as backwards as they did. Some skilled tradespeople, mechanics and general laborers still have the "get back in the kitchen" attitude towards women and challenge of traditional gender roles.

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Old 07-06-2011, 10:55 AM   #649
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I admit that I was sectretly laughing at a bunch of grumpy lesbians yesterday. See, at Ottawa Bluesfest, Tegan & Sara were playing yesterday, and through last week they were scheduled to play at 8pm. Sometime in the intervening days, an additional act was added at that stage (the guy who won the reality show "The Voice), and was put in at 8pm, with T&S getting pushed back to a 9pm start.

Another group we wanted to see finished just before 8pm, so we wandered over there to see how the tv show guy was live (fine, but didn't really have his show polished yet). There wasn't much crowd there yet, and many of those who were there were pretty clearly lesbian couples who had gotten there early to nab good places to watch Tegan & Sara....and who hadn't found out about the change in schedule. There were looking variously confused, upset, and grumpy.

I sort of felt sorry for them, but none of them actually left to watch any of the three other performances going on at the same time at other stages, so being amused won out over feeling sorry. They were at a huge music festival, with all sorts of things to do, but they seemed only focused on seeing one performance.
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Old 07-06-2011, 11:01 AM   #650
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I'll admit, I've done the same as that group of lesbians, lol. I've definitely gone to festivals just to see one act before, regardless of how many other stages were around. It's a little lousy, but I wanted a good place in the crowd.
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