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Old 03-10-2009, 06:16 PM   #1
GoldenDelicious
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Default coming out stories

Does anyone have a funny, sad or intersting coming out story? I'm keen to hear them. Those of you who know me or Mergirl will know that we are a couple. As a couple I have to say that Mer and I had completely different experiences. Mine was very positive and Mers very negative. I'll leave it to Mer to tell her story if she chooses it's far more interesting than mine.

I was very lucky, everyone was really supportive and accepting. Noone knew that I had any feelings for or experiences with women, however they had known me in two long term relatiionships with men, one of which I was engaged to. So at the age of 36 I told my dad, " well I have something to tell you", worried he looked at me and said, "what?" "well, you know my friend Lisa (Mergirl), she is actually my girlfriend". That was pretty much how I went about telling everyone to various responses but most of them positive, some mildly amused and some speechless. My dads reply was, "o'h well there's a lot of it about these days". He likes Mer very much so I know he's not bothered, he would actually come in the house and have a cuppa with her if I was out and my parents have never been like that with any guy I've dated. I come from a small town and I'm happy to say they don't have a small town mentality.
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Old 03-10-2009, 06:26 PM   #2
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Default Coming Out

Very interesting thread Golden. I always thought my coming out story (with my father) would be similar to yours, but life didn't allow it to happen that way.

I'm out completely now - to my whole family for the most part. I never had the chance to come out to my father as he passed away November 9th, 2008. I don't want to get upset over it though, as he and I had an understanding and I knew he accepted me for who I am. That's all that matters.

But...funny coming out story. The day after my father passed away, my Aunt, my Grandmother and I went to the funeral home to make arrangements. We were talking about how to word something in the obituary and I said something about the term "partner" sounding gay. My Aunt said, "well we wouldn't want to sound gay, now would we?" and I said, "well, actually, I dunno...I'm a bit gay myself." It broke the ice, and made us all laugh. On the ride home, we discussed the whole thing, and I called my mother and friend and told them, "I just outed myself to a total stranger and my family!" The total stranger of course was the funeral director.

Anyway, I did regret (for a minute) that I never said it to my father, but I know that he knew, and I can't beat myself up over something I can't change.

I've had other bad experiences with coming out - like when I was 19 I told my mother and she told our neighbor, a known homophobe. I was angry at her for betraying my trust, and she learned never to out me again after that (unless the person isn't homophobic, of course).

Well that's my story. Let's hear others!
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Old 03-10-2009, 09:01 PM   #3
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I have quite a few stories, as I've come out at different times to different people, well, differently :P

First FAMILY member I really came out to was my little sister. We were driving home from school. I told her I had a thing for this girl Julie, and that I thought I might be interested in women.

she said "duh"

I almost ran the car into a tree.
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Old 03-11-2009, 05:00 AM   #4
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Default My First Coming Out Story is Similar

I also came out to my sister first. She basically said, "Duh" too...she wasn't shocked. She used to call me queer before I ever admitted it outloud to anyone. So a lot of people knew before I could talk about it. i had gay friends in high school who didn't come til after they graduated and everyone knew they were gay but they totally denied it. Ahhh, to live in such a homophobic society sucks - but things have improved since I was in my teens. Thank Goddess for time and progress!

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I have quite a few stories, as I've come out at different times to different people, well, differently :P

First FAMILY member I really came out to was my little sister. We were driving home from school. I told her I had a thing for this girl Julie, and that I thought I might be interested in women.

she said "duh"

I almost ran the car into a tree.
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Old 03-11-2009, 05:12 AM   #5
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Well, I sort of came out by accident when i was just turned 15. To be honest it was pretty traumatic and was a bit hazy but here is what i remember. I was reading a riot grrrl fanzine and the writer was a bisexual girl. My mum said she didnt understand bisexuality. She understood being gay and being straight but couldnt understand any inbetween. i remember trying to stick up for this girl and for bisexuality and i was pretty upset.. out of no-where my mum said "Are you trying to tell us something?" I just remember flashes after that of "My mum rolling on the floor crying gay gay gay" (which i find funny now.. at the time not so much) of her saying "I'm glad your nana has just died because she would have hated you for being gay" and "Your wee brother has enough going to secondary school without having a lesbian for a sister". She also used the words 'disgusting' and 'pervert'. Is funny how just a couple of words said when you are just 15 can stay with you your whole life.
They had been drinking at the time which maby made it worse..i remember my dad drunkenly saying "i dont give a fuck if you love men women or girraffes" (At least he was supportive..(Though i bet if i came out to him as a beastial and said i WAS in love with a girraffe that would all be lies! lol).
To be honest it was all a bit of a fucking nightmare. I remember waking up in my dogs basket because i was cuddling her and crying and must have fallen asleep. She didnt care i was gay.
I got up and walked to my friend/band members house and was crying. She asked what was wrong and all i could get out was "i'm gay". (I had actually already 'came out' to my friends btw) and she said "I know that, why are you crying" and i told her about what happened.
When i went home my mum went for a walk with me which was hellishly silent. She said she would have prefered if i'd told her i was pregnant.
To be honest that day changed my life. My mum and i used to have a really amazing relationship, i would tell her everything about my worries, fears, about secret parties that i went to and regretted..everything.. but over night in her eyes i had changed even though i was still me. I felt she didnt love me, i was angry and sad and felt hopelessly lost. I went from being a straight A student to not really bothering about school though on the plus side my music took off because i had a lot of things to write about.
My mum more of less didnt talk to me for a year. I even remember a month or so after it happened it was my birthday and we went on a day trip to a place called ayr (which i live kinna near now) it was grim..my mum just walked ahead of me and didnt talk to me all day. I think that was my worst birthday.. and i'm only starting to like them again.
My mum told me i wasnt allowed to tell my family, so i felt wrong and like she was totally ashamed of me (well she was) and i had to endure years of "Do you have a boyfriend?" from aunts etc. My mum asked to please wait till my grandparents were dead before i told my family (which i'm actually not close to anyway because how can you become close to people when you cant be yourself). I respected her wishes and waited till my grandparents were dead before i told my aunts and uncles etc. I hate the fact my grandparents didnt get the chance to accept me or reject me accordingly.. and its something i will never know. I also hate the fact that i have always felt like the elephant man of the family.. like a dirty secret that no-one should know about. Like at family parties my wee brother and his partner would be invited but my partners wouldnt..etc etc..
Anyway..At 15 i couldnt take it and ran away for a while, i eventually had to come back but when i was just 17 i moved out for good. Thats it really.. Sorry if it was a ramble..but its a ramble in my head too.. there are actually loads of other wee things my mum has said and done but that was the guist.
The only friend i actually 'came out' to was my best friend at the time..when i said i had something to tell her she was like
Do you fancy my boyfriend? lol
Do you fancy ME??
One of my other friends..i came out to but she knew and i knew she knew so we made it into a joke..i said i had something to tell her.. and we were both laughing.. and i started singing "Constant Craving"!! haha.. ok thats my one funny comming out story..
sorry if this has been a bunch of jumbles.. but i actually feel really good now that its out of me for the time being..And sorry for boring you all.
xmer
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Old 03-12-2009, 03:15 PM   #6
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Default Wow

This whole thing is really moving to me. I think it is better to be out than in though...I know people have reasons for being in or staying in but living in fear is also no way to live - psychologically it is awful and only gets worse as I think it eats away at you as time goes by.

I read the whole "ramble" and I think that it sucks that your mom has been so unsupportive. I have a lot of homophobes in my family and I know my mom hasn't outed me to any of them, but eventually, under the right circumstances, I believe it would be okay if I opened up to my family. However, I don't really see these people all the time so would their opinions matter to me? Not really.

But yeah, thanks for sharing. You deserve happiness and I'm sorry your mother behaved the way she did. At least you're better now - adversity made you the person you are today!

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Originally Posted by mergirl View Post
Well, I sort of came out by accident when i was just turned 15. To be honest it was pretty traumatic and was a bit hazy but here is what i remember. I was reading a riot grrrl fanzine and the writer was a bisexual girl. My mum said she didnt understand bisexuality. She understood being gay and being straight but couldnt understand any inbetween. i remember trying to stick up for this girl and for bisexuality and i was pretty upset.. out of no-where my mum said "Are you trying to tell us something?" I just remember flashes after that of "My mum rolling on the floor crying gay gay gay" (which i find funny now.. at the time not so much) of her saying "I'm glad your nana has just died because she would have hated you for being gay" and "Your wee brother has enough going to secondary school without having a lesbian for a sister". She also used the words 'disgusting' and 'pervert'. Is funny how just a couple of words said when you are just 15 can stay with you your whole life.
They had been drinking at the time which maby made it worse..i remember my dad drunkenly saying "i dont give a fuck if you love men women or girraffes" (At least he was supportive..(Though i bet if i came out to him as a beastial and said i WAS in love with a girraffe that would all be lies! lol).
To be honest it was all a bit of a fucking nightmare. I remember waking up in my dogs basket because i was cuddling her and crying and must have fallen asleep. She didnt care i was gay.
I got up and walked to my friend/band members house and was crying. She asked what was wrong and all i could get out was "i'm gay". (I had actually already 'came out' to my friends btw) and she said "I know that, why are you crying" and i told her about what happened.
When i went home my mum went for a walk with me which was hellishly silent. She said she would have prefered if i'd told her i was pregnant.
To be honest that day changed my life. My mum and i used to have a really amazing relationship, i would tell her everything about my worries, fears, about secret parties that i went to and regretted..everything.. but over night in her eyes i had changed even though i was still me. I felt she didnt love me, i was angry and sad and felt hopelessly lost. I went from being a straight A student to not really bothering about school though on the plus side my music took off because i had a lot of things to write about.
My mum more of less didnt talk to me for a year. I even remember a month or so after it happened it was my birthday and we went on a day trip to a place called ayr (which i live kinna near now) it was grim..my mum just walked ahead of me and didnt talk to me all day. I think that was my worst birthday.. and i'm only starting to like them again.
My mum told me i wasnt allowed to tell my family, so i felt wrong and like she was totally ashamed of me (well she was) and i had to endure years of "Do you have a boyfriend?" from aunts etc. My mum asked to please wait till my grandparents were dead before i told my family (which i'm actually not close to anyway because how can you become close to people when you cant be yourself). I respected her wishes and waited till my grandparents were dead before i told my aunts and uncles etc. I hate the fact my grandparents didnt get the chance to accept me or reject me accordingly.. and its something i will never know. I also hate the fact that i have always felt like the elephant man of the family.. like a dirty secret that no-one should know about. Like at family parties my wee brother and his partner would be invited but my partners wouldnt..etc etc..
Anyway..At 15 i couldnt take it and ran away for a while, i eventually had to come back but when i was just 17 i moved out for good. Thats it really.. Sorry if it was a ramble..but its a ramble in my head too.. there are actually loads of other wee things my mum has said and done but that was the guist.
The only friend i actually 'came out' to was my best friend at the time..when i said i had something to tell her she was like
Do you fancy my boyfriend? lol
Do you fancy ME??
One of my other friends..i came out to but she knew and i knew she knew so we made it into a joke..i said i had something to tell her.. and we were both laughing.. and i started singing "Constant Craving"!! haha.. ok thats my one funny comming out story..
sorry if this has been a bunch of jumbles.. but i actually feel really good now that its out of me for the time being..And sorry for boring you all.
xmer
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Old 03-12-2009, 03:47 PM   #7
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I came out at 14. My folks are extremely conservative and traditional, but they didn't take it that seriously because they thought it was just another way of rebelling and that is a phase. They got their church friends to counsel me, gave my more masculine exes hell but were fine with the occasional femme they met. They have always been in some sort of denial though, since they randomly ask me about boyfriends even when I was attached to a female.

They are over the moon that my current partner is physically male, and even more convinced that it is just a phase. No point trying to tell them otherwise because they obviously don't listen. Grrrr.

As for my friends, I had no issues coming out as lesbian but I couldn't explain the details of my sexuality. I lost a fair bit of my lesbian friends when I dated stone butches, more when I dated an MtF and most of them turned on me by the time I ended up with a bio-male.
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Old 03-12-2009, 03:47 PM   #8
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I can remember when my bff came out to me.

We were driving home from a day out on the town and we stopped at a small liquor store/ice cream shop. We got some ice cream and sat down at a picnic table on the side of the road. We just sat there, enjoying the ice cream, when he looked at me and said "So... Im bisexual." I smiled really big and said "ME TOO!"

We finished our ice cream and went home.

Some months later he came out as a complete homo. I love that boy!!!
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Old 03-12-2009, 09:38 PM   #9
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I didn't realize it until about 20 that I liked both sexes.
No big story about my experiences all my friends know all about me and how I roll.
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Old 03-13-2009, 03:00 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Celestial Ceece View Post
This whole thing is really moving to me. I think it is better to be out than in though...I know people have reasons for being in or staying in but living in fear is also no way to live - psychologically it is awful and only gets worse as I think it eats away at you as time goes by.

I read the whole "ramble" and I think that it sucks that your mom has been so unsupportive. I have a lot of homophobes in my family and I know my mom hasn't outed me to any of them, but eventually, under the right circumstances, I believe it would be okay if I opened up to my family. However, I don't really see these people all the time so would their opinions matter to me? Not really.

But yeah, thanks for sharing. You deserve happiness and I'm sorry your mother behaved the way she did. At least you're better now - adversity made you the person you are today!
Thanks celisa. My mum is great now. We have had many chats over the years about how badly she reacted to me comming out. She said i shouldnt have told her when she was drunk. LOL ..i didnt actually mean to tell her at all.. cause at the point i told her i hadnt even slept with a girl yet..i was going to wait till i had a girlfriend i think. To be honest, i think there was some sort of spiral going on, where she rejected me, i ran away, she became more distant. Though, i reminded her that she was the adult and the parent and should have been the clever one! lol
Anyway, she loves GD and my parents spent hogmanay here (newyears) so, its taken half my life but finally my mum is kinna ok with me being gay and we are working on our relationship.
The thing is as well, my mums not actually homophobic (which sounds weird i know) but i remember her telling me when i was younger when a gay parade was shown on the news that "gay people are just like us" (or ARE us in the case of me) and that i had to treat gay people the same.. i think she got a shock that i was gay.. its very strange..oh seahorses!!
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Old 03-13-2009, 12:47 PM   #11
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My story is a bit backward, really. I have loved and been attracted to women since I was a child--since before it had a sexual nature (or at least an overtly sexual nature). When I was 5, I can remember lying in my bed one night dreaming about my wedding--what it would be like, what I'd wear, etc--and there were two very distinct brides. No groom in site. All of my Barbies loved other Barbies (I think I've mentioned before that all of my Ken dolls seemed to mysteriously lose legs and be unavailable). I didn't really tell anyone because, at first, I didn't know it was different or strange or wrong or whatever. It was just how I was. It wasn't until I was 15 that I began to realize that I could be attracted to guys--and even then I went for very feminine guys. At 18, I started dating a girl in my class (she was also a BBW and she's actually the girl who helped me to realize my love of BBW/SSBBW). We spent a lot of time together and I guess it was pretty obvious how we felt about each other. My mother and brother have always been divinely accepting so I never did a whole big "guess what, I like girls!" type of coming out, but I did say to my brother, "Greg, I have to tell you something." He replied, "yeah you and Christina are dating, I know." And that was pretty much it. When I told my mom, she said, "As long as you're happy, but do you think it's a sin." I said, "if it is, it's no more of one than any other, than lying, than anything." And she said, "you're right." And when, a year later, my girlfriend dumped me for a guy, it was my mom who came to get me and let me cry and cry to her.

oh, and when my cousin "out-ed" me to my grandparents, my grandmother said, "Becky, we don't care who you bring home as long as it isn't black."

Yep.
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Old 03-14-2009, 05:59 AM   #12
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oh, and when my cousin "out-ed" me to my grandparents, my grandmother said, "Becky, we don't care who you bring home as long as it isn't black."

Yep.
OMG! Thats so mental! I beg you to please go home with a big black transexual.
Scotland is kinna different/different bigotry. Not caring what colour people are as long as they are not catholic/protestent.
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Old 03-14-2009, 06:52 AM   #13
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I did have a tiny lesbian friend who also happens to be African American and she offered to come home with me as my lover, but I didn't want to subject her to my extended family.

Also, I'm not sure if this is TMI, but it's such a funny story in the way it shows how my mom is about everything and how she always has been about just accepting me. So I guess I'll just tell it and you all can pan me or censor it if necessary.

I mentioned yesterday that I used to date a guy who identified as mostly male but had a strong streak of female too so he expressed it by crossdressing. He was over my house one night and we were messing around mostly innocently. To be honest, we started out just playing with make up. At this point, I was in college and still lived in my mother's house. After my friend was completely dressed our messing around turned a bit more sexual and...long story short, when the evening was over, his cute wool plaid skirt had a biological stain (not unlike the one on Monica's dress, if you follow). At the time, he was also living at home and not at all out to his family (still isn't, sadly), and he panicked BIG time because he didn't know how he was going to get the stain out of this [admittedly adorable] skirt.

Well, so often when I have a problem the first person I ask is my mom--so I asked her how to get semen out of wool without possibly doing damage. She said that to be sure we wouldn't damage the skirt, we should have it dry cleaned. My friend panicked more because he could never ever ever take a skirt to a dry cleaners. My mom saw the panicked look on his face and said, "I'll do it. I'll just drop it off on my way to work tomorrow." Then she just smiled.

So. Yeah. I guess coming out wasn't a big deal in my household. My immediate family is pretty neat.
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Old 03-14-2009, 03:28 PM   #14
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Rebecca, Sounds like your mom is awesome!

My dad actually just kinda got hit that it ISN'T just a phase about a week ago, and he didn't talk to me for a few days. I went to his office to have lunch with him, and it was still insanely awkward... Then the next day, as some people here know, I hit a opossum on my way home from work. I pulled over, and became irrationally hysterical and immediately called my daddy.
Things are alright now I think it shocked him a little bit at first, but, I think now he's remembering.. Hey, I'm still the same Missy (what he calls me) that I have been.
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Old 03-14-2009, 03:36 PM   #15
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Rebecca, Sounds like your mom is awesome!

My dad actually just kinda got hit that it ISN'T just a phase about a week ago, and he didn't talk to me for a few days. I went to his office to have lunch with him, and it was still insanely awkward... Then the next day, as some people here know, I hit a opossum on my way home from work. I pulled over, and became irrationally hysterical and immediately called my daddy.
Things are alright now I think it shocked him a little bit at first, but, I think now he's remembering.. Hey, I'm still the same Missy (what he calls me) that I have been.
hmm.. yeah its funny that they go through a phase of thinking its YOU that has changed..when its actually just their perception..
Sorry you hit an oppossum too..
x
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Old 03-15-2009, 05:49 PM   #16
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Old 03-15-2009, 05:57 PM   #17
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Sorry this isn't thatgirl08, logged on to a different computer.
I submitted the following post on thatgirl08's account as she was at my house the other day and never logged out. Sorry! I did not realize. Here's the post that I copied and pasted lol.





All of these stories are very interesting and some quite funny, and Mergirl I'm so sorry about the bad experience that you seemed to have had, but I'm glad to hear you and your mom are working on it!


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This whole thing is really moving to me. I think it is better to be out than in though...I know people have reasons for being in or staying in but living in fear is also no way to live - psychologically it is awful and only gets worse as I think it eats away at you as time goes by.
I agree that is it better to be out than in, although I have not came out to my family yet. There's no real reason for it, besides the fact that I don't really talk to my parents that much about anything to do with my life. It's not that I'm ashamed at all or anything like that, and I'm sure they would be alright with it, I just don't feel the need to tell my parents. Maybe if I start becoming closer with them I will. The first family member I came out to actually just happened yesterday. It was my cousin Katie, and we were in Wal-Mart. We've always been really close, and I know that she is accepting as I beat it into her brain when we were in middle school that I was a straight ally, and that I loved gay people and that she should too. She kind of followed in my footsteps as we were growing up so that worked out lol. So we were walking getting into our usual mischief and I was like, "Katie?" and shes like "Yeah?" and I said, "I'm bisexual". She was like, "Wow, really?". Simple as that. It's good that she knows now though. I wanted to tell her for a while, even though I only came out to my friends around January, it did feel like it was 'eating away' at me. We're always so close and tell her everything, so now I feel very open with her. I held off on telling my aunt (who I'm also extremely close with) for reasons of not being ready yet. I considered telling her yesterday as well but I decided that it wasn't time yet.


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My dad actually just kinda got hit that it ISN'T just a phase about a week ago, and he didn't talk to me for a few days. I went to his office to have lunch with him, and it was still insanely awkward... Then the next day, as some people here know, I hit a opossum on my way home from work. I pulled over, and became irrationally hysterical and immediately called my daddy.
Things are alright now I think it shocked him a little bit at first, but, I think now he's remembering.. Hey, I'm still the same Missy (what he calls me) that I have been.
Ahh, awkward situations =/
Good to know that it's getting better, and as Mer said it is quite interesting to see how people's perceptions change when you come out. I'm not going to lie, I am a little nervous about that with a few of my family members. I also am worried that some of them might think it's just a phase as you said Kris. I mean, I think that right now at my age, some people might still be going through some of these so called 'phases' (not just related to being gay) but I know myself, and if I were to tell my family that it really was not a phase, I'm still concerned that they wouldn't believe me. I guess I'll just have to wait and see what happens when I'm ready.

Also, sorry about the accident!
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Old 03-17-2009, 04:53 PM   #18
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Default my story

I was 17 and often stayed over at my first hot dancer girl friends house, we used to say to her mom and dad that it was hard for me to get home and it was since I am a country bumkin at heart and lived in the middle of fields and forests. but one morning her mom walked in when we were sleeping. and I was not in the spare bed but butt naked beside my girlfiend who was also naked. it was hot summer. anyways her mom did not wake us. but I received a phone call that evening from my gf and she said mom has forbidden us to meet again. and she is giving u one hour to tell your mom and dad!
to be honest I had sexually liked the sneaking around lol. and I was not bothered being not out to mom and dad. but I totally freaked out had a panic attack. told mom after she had got a complete fright and thought something was seriously wrong. she was ok with it and dad to. so thank god but u never know how they would react? but went well. then mom drove me to my girlfiends house. I sneaked in to find her in her room. her mom had hit her to. horrible. so then we sneaked out, not caught this time. then mom drove us home. and we stayed together that night. my girlfriend cried the whole night. until she fell asleep in my arms. I remember wishing that I was older with my own house so i could take care of us.

so that is it. oh yeah then dad flipped and told all my relatives in one day. and i still think that is strange. they all know but I never told them.

this is my first post here, hope u liked it and did not depress anyone.
lots of hugs LH
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Old 03-17-2009, 07:53 PM   #19
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I submitted the following post on thatgirl08's account as she was at my house the other day and never logged out. Sorry! I did not realize. Here's the post that I copied and pasted lol.
WAY TO GO GIRL.
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Old 03-17-2009, 08:07 PM   #20
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WAY TO GO GIRL.
Good contribution to this thread. I'm sure it's appreciated.
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Old 03-17-2009, 08:13 PM   #21
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Good contribution to this thread. I'm sure it's appreciated.
Fine, how about I share my coming out story then. It's not very exciting.

I'm not out to most people, but I came out to my best friends a few years by simply IMing them and saying "I'm bisexual." Everything went over well. The end!
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Old 03-18-2009, 07:26 AM   #22
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Well, I sort of came out by accident when i was just turned 15. To be honest it was pretty traumatic and was a bit hazy but here is what i remember. I was reading a riot grrrl fanzine and the writer was a bisexual girl. My mum said she didnt understand bisexuality. She understood being gay and being straight but couldnt understand any inbetween. i remember trying to stick up for this girl and for bisexuality and i was pretty upset.. out of no-where my mum said "Are you trying to tell us something?" I just remember flashes after that of "My mum rolling on the floor crying gay gay gay" (which i find funny now.. at the time not so much) of her saying "I'm glad your nana has just died because she would have hated you for being gay" and "Your wee brother has enough going to secondary school without having a lesbian for a sister". She also used the words 'disgusting' and 'pervert'. Is funny how just a couple of words said when you are just 15 can stay with you your whole life.
They had been drinking at the time which maby made it worse..i remember my dad drunkenly saying "i dont give a fuck if you love men women or girraffes" (At least he was supportive..(Though i bet if i came out to him as a beastial and said i WAS in love with a girraffe that would all be lies! lol).
To be honest it was all a bit of a fucking nightmare. I remember waking up in my dogs basket because i was cuddling her and crying and must have fallen asleep. She didnt care i was gay.
I got up and walked to my friend/band members house and was crying. She asked what was wrong and all i could get out was "i'm gay". (I had actually already 'came out' to my friends btw) and she said "I know that, why are you crying" and i told her about what happened.
When i went home my mum went for a walk with me which was hellishly silent. She said she would have prefered if i'd told her i was pregnant.
To be honest that day changed my life. My mum and i used to have a really amazing relationship, i would tell her everything about my worries, fears, about secret parties that i went to and regretted..everything.. but over night in her eyes i had changed even though i was still me. I felt she didnt love me, i was angry and sad and felt hopelessly lost. I went from being a straight A student to not really bothering about school though on the plus side my music took off because i had a lot of things to write about.
My mum more of less didnt talk to me for a year. I even remember a month or so after it happened it was my birthday and we went on a day trip to a place called ayr (which i live kinna near now) it was grim..my mum just walked ahead of me and didnt talk to me all day. I think that was my worst birthday.. and i'm only starting to like them again.
My mum told me i wasnt allowed to tell my family, so i felt wrong and like she was totally ashamed of me (well she was) and i had to endure years of "Do you have a boyfriend?" from aunts etc. My mum asked to please wait till my grandparents were dead before i told my family (which i'm actually not close to anyway because how can you become close to people when you cant be yourself). I respected her wishes and waited till my grandparents were dead before i told my aunts and uncles etc. I hate the fact my grandparents didnt get the chance to accept me or reject me accordingly.. and its something i will never know. I also hate the fact that i have always felt like the elephant man of the family.. like a dirty secret that no-one should know about. Like at family parties my wee brother and his partner would be invited but my partners wouldnt..etc etc..
Anyway..At 15 i couldnt take it and ran away for a while, i eventually had to come back but when i was just 17 i moved out for good. Thats it really.. Sorry if it was a ramble..but its a ramble in my head too.. there are actually loads of other wee things my mum has said and done but that was the guist.
The only friend i actually 'came out' to was my best friend at the time..when i said i had something to tell her she was like
Do you fancy my boyfriend? lol
Do you fancy ME??
One of my other friends..i came out to but she knew and i knew she knew so we made it into a joke..i said i had something to tell her.. and we were both laughing.. and i started singing "Constant Craving"!! haha.. ok thats my one funny comming out story..
sorry if this has been a bunch of jumbles.. but i actually feel really good now that its out of me for the time being..And sorry for boring you all.
xmer
Mer, I can so relate to your coming out story...

I finally came out to my mum when I was 17 (I had tried to tell her when I was 15 but she told me it was a phase), there was a girl from college that I liked (who turned out straight!) and I was talking to my mum about her and she confronted me about it...it was bad timing though as 5 minutes later I had to leave for work. When I got back I can't remember what was said exactly but there was nothing positive, she just kept saying that I mustn't tell anyone and certainly not my father.

My mum went through a nervous breakdown, made me quit college (I was studying to be a Nursery Nurse)...she told me she didn't trust me with the kids....I'll never forgive her for that....I remember saying to her over and over again that 'I'm a lesbian not a p*dophile!' (That makes me sick)

I then went almost full time at the supermarket I was working at, started drinking and smoking and felt like a total screw up. I got kicked out of my church and considered running away on a daily basis but never did.

The church leader actually was the one that told my dad who was fine and held my hand and said he loved me and wanted me to be happy.....that didn't last long though as he started to blame me for my mum's breakdown.

My mum even made me go to the doctor's once to ask him for a blood test to 'check if I was really gay'....the doc couldn't believe what he was hearing and suggested my mum have counseling.

I ended up leaving home when I was nearly 19 and my mum had tried to accept it in her own way, I saw a lesbian counselor for about 3 years which helped a bit.

I am now 26 and suffer quite badly with depression, my life is good, I have a good job, own house and am marrying my girlfriend in November this year but I still can't get the past 9 years out of my head. I feel like I have ruined my whole family by being gay, I have tried men but it feels so wrong.

My parents are ok with me now and get along fine with my girlfriend, they are even paying for some of the wedding....guess a lot of it's just in my head....
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Old 03-18-2009, 09:12 AM   #23
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Mer, I can so relate to your coming out story...

I finally came out to my mum when I was 17 (I had tried to tell her when I was 15 but she told me it was a phase), there was a girl from college that I liked (who turned out straight!) and I was talking to my mum about her and she confronted me about it...it was bad timing though as 5 minutes later I had to leave for work. When I got back I can't remember what was said exactly but there was nothing positive, she just kept saying that I mustn't tell anyone and certainly not my father.

My mum went through a nervous breakdown, made me quit college (I was studying to be a Nursery Nurse)...she told me she didn't trust me with the kids....I'll never forgive her for that....I remember saying to her over and over again that 'I'm a lesbian not a p*dophile!' (That makes me sick)

I then went almost full time at the supermarket I was working at, started drinking and smoking and felt like a total screw up. I got kicked out of my church and considered running away on a daily basis but never did.

The church leader actually was the one that told my dad who was fine and held my hand and said he loved me and wanted me to be happy.....that didn't last long though as he started to blame me for my mum's breakdown.

My mum even made me go to the doctor's once to ask him for a blood test to 'check if I was really gay'....the doc couldn't believe what he was hearing and suggested my mum have counseling.

I ended up leaving home when I was nearly 19 and my mum had tried to accept it in her own way, I saw a lesbian counselor for about 3 years which helped a bit.

I am now 26 and suffer quite badly with depression, my life is good, I have a good job, own house and am marrying my girlfriend in November this year but I still can't get the past 9 years out of my head. I feel like I have ruined my whole family by being gay, I have tried men but it feels so wrong.

My parents are ok with me now and get along fine with my girlfriend, they are even paying for some of the wedding....guess a lot of it's just in my head....
OMG, I'm so sorry. Your story is awful. I have an essay due in a couple of days and was just quickly looking through..but i really want to reply to this properly when i get a moment. I am so glad you have your gf (soon to be wife). You have NOT messed up anyones life..They are the ones who have made your life messed up..or at least more difficult.
Sorry i cant reply in more depth right now..just know that i can relate in many way. Stay strong missus.. We are all here for you too and if you ever fancy a wee chat just pm me..i have yahoo etc..
(((((you))))))))
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Old 03-19-2009, 08:49 AM   #24
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I was 17 and often stayed over at my first hot dancer girl friends house, we used to say to her mom and dad that it was hard for me to get home and it was since I am a country bumkin at heart and lived in the middle of fields and forests. but one morning her mom walked in when we were sleeping. and I was not in the spare bed but butt naked beside my girlfiend who was also naked. it was hot summer. anyways her mom did not wake us. but I received a phone call that evening from my gf and she said mom has forbidden us to meet again. and she is giving u one hour to tell your mom and dad!
to be honest I had sexually liked the sneaking around lol. and I was not bothered being not out to mom and dad. but I totally freaked out had a panic attack. told mom after she had got a complete fright and thought something was seriously wrong. she was ok with it and dad to. so thank god but u never know how they would react? but went well. then mom drove me to my girlfiends house. I sneaked in to find her in her room. her mom had hit her to. horrible. so then we sneaked out, not caught this time. then mom drove us home. and we stayed together that night. my girlfriend cried the whole night. until she fell asleep in my arms. I remember wishing that I was older with my own house so i could take care of us.

so that is it. oh yeah then dad flipped and told all my relatives in one day. and i still think that is strange. they all know but I never told them.

this is my first post here, hope u liked it and did not depress anyone.
lots of hugs LH
Can i just say that 'love handels' is NOT a troll! lmao..
Even though her first post might have hinted at this..
She is actually my bi-fatual real life swedish friend..(i've probs mentioned her)
Love handles, why dont you introduce yourself.. Plus post a pic for all the laaaaydeees!
oh lol.
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Old 03-19-2009, 12:48 PM   #25
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OMG, I'm so sorry. Your story is awful. I have an essay due in a couple of days and was just quickly looking through..but i really want to reply to this properly when i get a moment. I am so glad you have your gf (soon to be wife). You have NOT messed up anyones life..They are the ones who have made your life messed up..or at least more difficult.
Sorry i cant reply in more depth right now..just know that i can relate in many way. Stay strong missus.. We are all here for you too and if you ever fancy a wee chat just pm me..i have yahoo etc..
(((((you))))))))
Thankyou for your reply Mer, yeah would be good to chat more, I have hotmail and MSN. Until then, Good Luck with the essay! x
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