My WLS Journey Parts 1&2

[mel]

Originally Posted by moniquessbbw

The tubes came out yesterday. It already feels better without them in there. It will take months to close and the other wound is still open but much much smaller. A few steps forward a few steps backwards now a few steps sideways towards recovery.

((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))

wow, you are SO strong!

[moniquessbbw]

Originally Posted by Jes

Gah. Well, at least you've made progress. I had surgery over 4 months ago. I'm still not healed. My surgeon doesn't know why. I've been altering my diet and doing all of the right things and... no dice. It makes one feel helpless and hopeless.

I know how you feel I have been really down lately. I keep trying to stay positive. I hope you start to heal soon just don't give up. The first wound is making great progress and I see my doctor next week. I hope this will all be over soon. Hugs everyone.

[Miss Vickie]

Monique and Jes, I've so been there. It's a rough road, and feels like forever. Each time they revised my scar, I hoped for an improved outcome and each time I took forever to heal. Why? Nobody knows. Just (un)lucky, I guess.

I will say this, though. Now that I'm healed up, I barely remember all that time that I was "open". I'm just so glad to have it done. And no, no more surgeries for me, unless they're totally necessary!

I'm done with plastics. Forevah.

Good luck with your healing, ladies. You'll get there. Nobody stays unhealed forever; just do what you can to nourish yourselves well and try to be patient. I know how it feels, but you will heal. It will happen.

[Jes]

Originally Posted by Miss Vickie

Good luck with your healing, ladies. You'll get there. Nobody stays unhealed forever; just do what you can to nourish yourselves well and try to be patient. I know how it feels, but you will heal. It will happen.

thanks. I met with the surgeon this morning...she says sometimes it's months,sometimes it's years. I, of course, was told it was 6 weeks. Hmm. 6 weeks to ...years. Depressing. After surgery, I got the morphine drugs. Now, apparently, I"m getting opium and belladonna! I told the Doc to give me a side of hemlock and I'd be good to go.

[moniquessbbw]

Originally Posted by Jes

thanks. I met with the surgeon this morning...she says sometimes it's months,sometimes it's years. I, of course, was told it was 6 weeks. Hmm. 6 weeks to ...years. Depressing. After surgery, I got the morphine drugs. Now, apparently, I"m getting opium and belladonna! I told the Doc to give me a side of hemlock and I'd be good to go.

Hang in there they told me the same thing. Only time will tell how fast it will heal. Wound number 1 is almost closed. We have stopped packing it to let the outside close and I have to wear the binder 24/7. If they have you in a binder wear it all the time it really speeds things up. I hate the binder but I hate the wound more so I wear it. The second wound is doing well since the surgery on March 15th. In the next few months I should be all healed up, well in my mind thats the plan. You never know what my body will do. Just remain calm and positive.

[Sandie_Zitkus]

Originally Posted by Jes

thanks. I met with the surgeon this morning...she says sometimes it's months,sometimes it's years. I, of course, was told it was 6 weeks. Hmm. 6 weeks to ...years. Depressing. After surgery, I got the morphine drugs. Now, apparently, I"m getting opium and belladonna! I told the Doc to give me a side of hemlock and I'd be good to go.

Hi Jess - this is just awful. When I had my gall bladder out, I was told to get as much protein into my system as possible. I drank protein drinks a lot.

I hope this changes for you soon. Good luck.

[Jes]

Originally Posted by Sandie_Zitkus

Hi Jess - this is just awful. When I had my gall bladder out, I was told to get as much protein into my system as possible. I drank protein drinks a lot.

I hope this changes for you soon. Good luck.

thanks to you both. IN the scheme of things, it's not such a big deal. I mean, nothing is infected and it's not a huge incision. But I do find that the more things wear on, the more...they wear on you! But Belladonna? What a freakin' Medieval approach. Then again, the regular meds haven't done it, so maybe it's time to go all Nature Girl!

Oh, to have the body of a 20 year old again. Or hell,even a 30 year old!

[moniquessbbw]

Originally Posted by Jes

thanks to you both. IN the scheme of things, it's not such a big deal. I mean, nothing is infected and it's not a huge incision. But I do find that the more things wear on, the more...they wear on you! But Belladonna? What a freakin' Medieval approach. Then again, the regular meds haven't done it, so maybe it's time to go all Nature Girl!

Oh, to have the body of a 20 year old again. Or hell,even a 30 year old!

I was so cute at 20 but everyone made me think I was huge. I think I am getting better looking with age so I don't miss 20. My bad knees miss being 20 but the rest will all work itself out. You will get better. Hugs

I see my doc next week let's cross our fingers and toes for good news
He might have to operate again and I am not sure I could do another surgery so soon. Two since december is plenty.

[moniquessbbw]

I saw my doctor on Wednesday. All went well and both of my wounds are almost all closed up. It has only been one month on wound 2 and it is healing up really fast. I am down to 4x4 bandages no more packing the wounds. I was able to get a belly button out of the deal. Not sure if I mentioned it but they removed it when they did the pannus removal. Due to the infection I ended up with a small hole in the middle of my belly which has now become my new belly button. I would have been fine without it if it meant no infection. I am almost out of the woods and my doctor is ready to do my next surgery which will be my arms. I don't think I am ready for that till next year. I will live with my wings for a bit longer. Thanks for listening for all of these months.

[Jes]

good for you! i'm very happy to hear it.

[HottiMegan]

That's wonderful! I'm so glad to hear that you're so close to being mended! So awesome!

[moniquessbbw]

Originally Posted by HottiMegan

That's wonderful! I'm so glad to hear that you're so close to being mended! So awesome!

It's been tough but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel

[Miss Vickie]

It feels great, doesn't it? I know exactly how you feel.

Yay for healing wounds!

[moniquessbbw]

Originally Posted by Miss Vickie

It feels great, doesn't it? I know exactly how you feel.

Yay for healing wounds!

My doctor told me to loose 40 more pounds then he will start on my other surgery. I can't stop snacking, hell I can't stop eating. Every few hours I am eating something. This is where it gets hard. This is when I have to start working out if I want to finish all of this. I have zero motivation to work out. I did get on the treadmill for 10 min the other day. I guess thats a start. I was also told to stick to about 1800 calories a day. Well today I had a hershey bar and 3 cookies...lol I am trying but sometimes you just need some chocolate. For the record counting calories sucks. I always end up going over. I need a vacation from my life. Going on a Cruise sounds good right about now.

[moniquessbbw]

Just an update. I saw my nurse today and both wounds are down to about
2cm's which is amazing news considering they were huge wounds. It has been 6 months since this all began. Wow how time has flown by but I survived. I am in the home stretch. I have gained some weight due to all of the down time which sucks. My food addiction took over again for a couple of months and it has been a huge fight to stay on track. I started working out last week. I did mon-fri last week this week I was able to walk three quarters of a mile on the treadmill in 30 min which is huge for me. Last year I was only doing half a mile in 30 min. Life is looking up again. My body hurts from working out but as I gain back my strength I will build muscle to help with my broken down body. Take care everyone and thanks for being there for me. Hugs

[johnnny2005]

Monique your a strong person! i wasnt on dim boards in such a long time,im just after learning what u went through the last six months! keep up the good work babe! miss you!

[ssflbelle]

Monique I haven't been on the boards since Dec and just now read what you have been through over the last 6 months. My Gosh you are one of the strongest women I have ever read about. I can't imagine the pain that you have been through since the beginning of your journey. So glad to hear things have finally begun to turn for the better. You look amazing in your latest picture. After all you have been through I don't blame you for waiting until 2011 for the additional surgery. Give your body more time to heal and for you to enjoy your new life.

[Miss Vickie]

Originally Posted by moniquessbbw

My doctor told me to loose 40 more pounds then he will start on my other surgery. I can't stop snacking, hell I can't stop eating. Every few hours I am eating something. This is where it gets hard. This is when I have to start working out if I want to finish all of this. I have zero motivation to work out. I did get on the treadmill for 10 min the other day. I guess thats a start. I was also told to stick to about 1800 calories a day. Well today I had a hershey bar and 3 cookies...lol I am trying but sometimes you just need some chocolate. For the record counting calories sucks. I always end up going over. I need a vacation from my life. Going on a Cruise sounds good right about now.

Yeah... I hear ya. Sometimes I wish that it was harder for me to eat sugar and stuff, because I can eat most things. OTOH, I had to learn impulse control sometime in my life. I guess my 40's is as good a time as any? Even though I can eat more now, I'm trying to stay in the habit of eating less, even if it doesn't fill me up as much. It's hard though. Once that stomach starts to stretch and grow, we're almost back to the same old thing. It's easier for me to be active, and I still get some negative reinforcement for overeating but not nearly what it was.

I'm so glad to hear your wounds are closing! I know that it feels like forever but once they're closed it's such a relief!

[JenFromOC]

Originally Posted by moniquessbbw

My doctor told me to loose 40 more pounds then he will start on my other surgery. I can't stop snacking, hell I can't stop eating. Every few hours I am eating something. This is where it gets hard. This is when I have to start working out if I want to finish all of this. I have zero motivation to work out. I did get on the treadmill for 10 min the other day. I guess thats a start. I was also told to stick to about 1800 calories a day. Well today I had a hershey bar and 3 cookies...lol I am trying but sometimes you just need some chocolate. For the record counting calories sucks. I always end up going over. I need a vacation from my life. Going on a Cruise sounds good right about now.

I had my surgery over 10 years ago and I still can't eat much sugar, carbs, etc. When I crave chocolate, I eat Chocolate Cheerios. I know that sounds very weak and not at all comparable LOLOLOLOL, but it satisfies me for the time being and gets me through that chocolate craving.

[T'Rina-MsXXL]

Monique, I have not been on the boards for so long and somehow missed your story while I was, I hate to say this but I am glad I missed it before my surgery or I fear I would never have gone through with my Duodenal switch ... I am aware that I dont have the guts to do what you did and survive what you survived.
I just read all 9 pages of your story, I DO understand why you did I am also bone on bone in my knees but lucky for me I did not have so many other things against me health wise, but i think given another 5 or 10 years at an ever progressing weight and I easily could have.
I was lucky and I know it, I had Laparoscopic surgery and I am still in the easy phase where I am losing quickly with little effort and just trying to get enough protein and water in me.
Everytime I go to complain about what I am going through... everytime i feel tired for no reason other than not eating as much, everytime I have to force myself to work out I will think of you and what you went through so far and what you are facing and how amazingly brave you are and I will hopefully remember to shut my mouth and thank my lucky stars.

I wish you all the luck in the world, all the strength and all the joy, you deserve it and I am thrilled to have known you in chat these years

[gobettiepurple]

Aww Monique! I saw you at BL this weekend and you look fabulous! i read your journey, you are such a strong person doll! Just wanted to stop by and give you a shout out of encouragement! muah!

[moniquessbbw]

Originally Posted by T'Rina-MsXXL

Monique, I have not been on the boards for so long and somehow missed your story while I was, I hate to say this but I am glad I missed it before my surgery or I fear I would never have gone through with my Duodenal switch ... I am aware that I dont have the guts to do what you did and survive what you survived.
I just read all 9 pages of your story, I DO understand why you did I am also bone on bone in my knees but lucky for me I did not have so many other things against me health wise, but i think given another 5 or 10 years at an ever progressing weight and I easily could have.
I was lucky and I know it, I had Laparoscopic surgery and I am still in the easy phase where I am losing quickly with little effort and just trying to get enough protein and water in me.
Everytime I go to complain about what I am going through... everytime i feel tired for no reason other than not eating as much, everytime I have to force myself to work out I will think of you and what you went through so far and what you are facing and how amazingly brave you are and I will hopefully remember to shut my mouth and thank my lucky stars.

I wish you all the luck in the world, all the strength and all the joy, you deserve it and I am thrilled to have known you in chat these years

Big hugs for you. I am glad you are doing well. Hang in there it gets better.

[moniquessbbw]

Originally Posted by gobettiepurple

Aww Monique! I saw you at BL this weekend and you look fabulous! i read your journey, you are such a strong person doll! Just wanted to stop by and give you a shout out of encouragement! muah!

It was good to meet you. I hope to see you again soon.

[moniquessbbw]

It has been a few months since I have checked in with everyone. My wound is almost closed. It has taken a really long time but it is now over. Moving onto the next step of this journey is now my focus. Whew I made it through hell and back again. I hope my next surgery will be a better experience. I joined the gym a few weeks ago and I have been working out Mon-Fri and see a personal trainer 2x’s per week. The gym has been fun; full of hot men lifting weights makes the 30 min on the bike fly by. Why didn’t I join years ago? Ladies I have found El Dorado and it is located inside the gym. Hot guys like to help the big girls at the gym because they like bbw’s.

I am working on building muscle and strength. I am very out of shape and just 3 weeks in I can already see and feel the difference in my body. Four years ago I couldn’t walk now I ride 11 miles on the exercise bike in 30 minutes. I started lifting weights to build muscle. I am working a lot on my arms because that’s the next skin removal surgery. Fat won’t stick to fat and that’s why I had so many complications. With lifting weights I have a better chance of a quick recovery. I am not sure if I am going to do my thighs but my doctor says they need to be done.

WLS is a huge project and commitment. Some days I am so tired and just want to stay in bed. Now I get up and look forward to working out because it is something I am doing for me. Just for me and me alone not because the doctors told me to or anyone else. It really feels good to be pro-active in my life and see this all the way to the end. I gained 20 pounds now I have to loose 60 instead of 40. I was eating what ever I wanted and too much of it. I like to graze but that is not an option anymore so I do the best I can to control it. Woman verses food, sometimes I win sometimes the food wins. Almost 5 years post op and only has a 20 pound gain. I’m ok with that. I was able to get a handle on the issue and am now back in therapy. I am seeing a food addiction specialist and she has been amazing for me. I’m just glad to still be here. Take care everyone.

[LoriS]

Monique, I just read every word of your thread and you are amazing. Not just as a person, but as a writer- I want to second the opinion that you should write a book about what you have gone through to get to where you are.