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Old 04-11-2009, 06:34 PM   #26
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woah! thanks for the feedback/rep. i was pretty hesitant about posting that.

as far as the guinness book thing goes, it's really funny to me that so many of you guys/gals can relate to that. i think i had like 10 of them at one point. worlds fattest people page was dog eared in all of them, of course.
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Old 04-12-2009, 10:40 AM   #27
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felt a lot of pressure to be thin because of my family. I was very conflicted about it, but deep down I could recognize what I wanted and what I felt. I felt like the body that I was in was not the body that I was supposed to have


~nods~...yes yes yes
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Old 04-12-2009, 02:48 PM   #28
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Default Gosh,

I don't really like being heavy. I did like the sense of being in control of my body during my youth when I did weight lifting. I love heavier women, however. I like the femininity of heavy women.

I was married to a lusty woman who had been heavy in her youth but who had a near obsession with being thin during our 21 years together. During the first year of our separation, she blamed me for her being thin. She gained perhaps 50 pounds during that year. Then during the first year after our divorce, she lost the weight again. I don’t think that I had anything to do with that. During our time together, I often enjoyed fantasies of her being about 50 pounds heavier that she was when we were together.

My awareness of my attraction to heavier women is fairly new to me. I am still in some development of that interest, in part, because I have been celibate since April 1992. For a long time, this did not matter because my medication for depression pretty much destroyed my libido. Recently, I don’t always take it and my libido has returned like that of a teenaged boy.

I have a lot of sexual fantasies and think about making love almost all the time. I suddenly miss that part of life. My fantasies very often have to do with nice round women. Just now, I like heavy but still somewhat firm but that could and probably will change. I do get off on looking at images of very wiggly women.

I have an awful crush on a neighbor who has gained weight during the time we have been neighbors. Her looks really turns me on.

I want a large woman to crawl on and over me and just let me have my way with her--all of her. I also have a fetish about women with short hair or bald heads. That sometimes plays into fantasy. I am ready to move back into being a love and not just a little boy getting off on pictures on the web.

I hope I have not offended anyone. I am just reporting on where I am. I would love to share a nice round woman becoming a woman with folds and all that I get to see here. It would be great sharing that growth with a lover.

I would do almost anything she might want to do to be with some of the women who post here. Thin women just don't arouse my interest anymore.

I was a good lover in 1992, except for the interference of medication. I think I might still be a good lover for an old man.
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Old 04-12-2009, 03:21 PM   #29
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I don't really like being heavy. I did like the sense of being in control of my body during my youth when I did weight lifting. I love heavier women, however. I like the femininity of heavy women.

I was married to a lusty woman who had been heavy in her youth but who had a near obsession with being thin during our 21 years together. During the first year of our separation, she blamed me for her being thin. She gained perhaps 50 pounds during that year. Then during the first year after our divorce, she lost the weight again. I donít think that I had anything to do with that. During our time together, I often enjoyed fantasies of her being about 50 pounds heavier that she was when we were together.

My awareness of my attraction to heavier women is fairly new to me. I am still in some development of that interest, in part, because I have been celibate since April 1992. For a long time, this did not matter because my medication for depression pretty much destroyed my libido. Recently, I donít always take it and my libido has returned like that of a teenaged boy.

I have a lot of sexual fantasies and think about making love almost all the time. I suddenly miss that part of life. My fantasies very often have to do with nice round women. Just now, I like heavy but still somewhat firm but that could and probably will change. I do get off on looking at images of very wiggly women.

I have an awful crush on a neighbor who has gained weight during the time we have been neighbors. Her looks really turns me on.

I want a large woman to crawl on and over me and just let me have my way with her--all of her. I also have a fetish about women with short hair or bald heads. That sometimes plays into fantasy. I am ready to move back into being a love and not just a little boy getting off on pictures on the web.

I hope I have not offended anyone. I am just reporting on where I am. I would love to share a nice round woman becoming a woman with folds and all that I get to see here. It would be great sharing that growth with a lover.

I would do almost anything she might want to do to be with some of the women who post here. Thin women just don't arouse my interest anymore.

I was a good lover in 1992, except for the interference of medication. I think I might still be a good lover even as an old man.
Little correction. I am not looking to make love to an old man!
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Old 04-12-2009, 05:48 PM   #30
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Thanks for the correction Ted I was a bit miffed.LOL
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Old 04-12-2009, 05:52 PM   #31
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Thanks for the correction Ted I was a bit miffed.LOL
LMAO. I found it highly amusing that the poor man felt the need to clarify his comment. But then felt bad for finding the clarification amusing. Now I dont feel bad.
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Old 04-12-2009, 05:56 PM   #32
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Tracii has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Tracii has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Tracii has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Tracii has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Tracii has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Tracii has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Tracii has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Tracii has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Tracii has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Tracii has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Tracii has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
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I just wasn't sure if he shouldn't have posted in the GLBTQ section.
Now I know LOL.
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Old 04-13-2009, 01:25 AM   #33
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Even with what I said, I think that I am myself at the weight I am now rather than at the weight I was during my heavy dieting and exercise years, but my doctor wants me to get rid of these lovely feeling pounds. That is the main reason I balk a bit with it. I think that I might be a nice love object for someone at this weight! I am not negative about GLBTQ--just have never gotten there-yet! I enjoy my new body even though for years I had a hard buff one.

I think we all are generally sexual though some people might not be! I know that I went for almost 20 years with low libido but medication played into that experience. I do find the posted images of women here THRILLING.
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Old 04-14-2009, 05:42 PM   #34
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I don't want any lover to do something wrong for her health, but I confess that watching women gain weight is an intense turn on for me. To watch a former lover to gain from 120 or maybe 130 pounds to 180 pounds and the dream of her gaining to 230 or more drives me wild with desire. I love watching as firm turns to tight and tight turns to jiggles and more--much more. I dream of her covering me with her folds and secret places.
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Old 04-14-2009, 09:06 PM   #35
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Tracii has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Tracii has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Tracii has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Tracii has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Tracii has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Tracii has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Tracii has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Tracii has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Tracii has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Tracii has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Tracii has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
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I like a man that knows what he wants.
Ted thats a really erotic train of thought you have going there.
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Old 04-14-2009, 09:28 PM   #36
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I like a man that knows what he wants.
Ted thats a really erotic train of thought you have going there.
Damn straight thats a really erotic train of thought Teds got going! HAWTTT!!!
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Old 04-14-2009, 11:33 PM   #37
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Thanks for that thoughtful post Ivy. So much there echos my own experience, down to the age you were when you realized there was a sexual aspect to gaining and that Guinness book.

To answer the OP's question...I don't know. I really don't. For me, gaining is only a fantasy and not something I do in reality. But (being very frank here), it is a genuine fetish, in that I can't get interested in sex unless there's a weight-gain feeder-feedee fantasy running in my head.

I've talked to therapists about it and they had no clues to the why.
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Old 04-15-2009, 01:59 AM   #38
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Default Fantasy Is Nice

but reality would be better--much better. I feel that my life--my sexual life--has passed me since my divorce from a lusty woman way too many years ago. But I am always hopeful!
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Old 04-16-2009, 10:01 AM   #39
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My story is similar to Ivy's.

I've been intentionally gaining weight off and on since I was 9 years old. I've always been fat, and I have a lot of fat family, but I'm by far the biggest.

When I was growing up I was fascinated by all things fat. Cartoons where one of the characters is fat or gains weight (anyone remember that Doug episode? Oh yeah, loved that) were great, and when they would come on TV I was embarrassed for liking them so much so I tried to make sure no one was around before "enjoying" them with my belly hanging out, resting my hand on my girth and eating something. Like Ivy, I also enjoyed the world record books. Gaining became more sexual to me the older I got as well. I didn't know what that "warm feeling" was until after I hit puberty.

The aspect I enjoyed the most was stuffing myself. I have fond memories of packing a huge lunch and hiking up to the big rasbperry patch above our property and binging. I popped buttons on a couple pairs of pants on different occasions. I really wanted to see my belly get bigger. I also enjoyed squeezing into tight spaces, such as booths and especially the desks at school as I got older.

A couple times I went through phases where I wanted to lose weight, to be "normal," but it never lasted long. My love of fat was too strong. I was also attracted to other fat people, men and women alike, though I didn't realize I was bi until college.

I weighed 220 in 5th grade, 10 or 11 years old. I was tall too, tallest in my class until the boys caught up in middle/high school. In 9th grade I was 250 or so. In 10th I slowly shot up to 280. About that time I discovered the bbw/fa community online and I was 330 by the time I graduated. Modeling and all that soon followed and I gained to a high weight of about 365 before becoming ill and losing down to 340 (also, my parents and family discovered my modeling), and I'm currently sitting at about 345. Most of the time I'm not gaining, rather I'm "going with the flow" and if I lose I lose, and if I gain I gain. I don't worry about it and I don't keep track of it. Then once in a while I get the urge to gain, so I do. This current one is going to be fun because I'm keeping real track of it with my new livejournal. I felt I needed to make an event of it since I've been outta the loop for over a year.

In a nutshell, I gain because it's a central part to who I am as a person. I wouldn't be me if I wasn't fat. I have more confidence in myself. I love my soft curves. I feel very feminine. I have DDD breasts I wouldn't change for the world, and my rear is my biggest asset. I'm in good proportion and my weight doesn't hinder me from doing anything I want to do. Also, like Ivy said, who wouldn't love eating what they want, when they want, and how much they want? It's complete freedom. I don't know how people can live with denying themselves everything. We're only on this earth so long, and while I'm here I'm going to enjoy it.

I've always said I'd rather die at 60 living happily than die at 90 being miserable. And I would be miserable if I wasn't fat. It's who I am, and I'm making no apologies for it.

~Aurora
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Old 04-17-2009, 05:58 AM   #40
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Aurora View Post
My story is similar to Ivy's.

I've been intentionally gaining weight off and on since I was 9 years old. I've always been fat, and I have a lot of fat family, but I'm by far the biggest.

When I was growing up I was fascinated by all things fat. Cartoons where one of the characters is fat or gains weight (anyone remember that Doug episode? Oh yeah, loved that) were great, and when they would come on TV I was embarrassed for liking them so much so I tried to make sure no one was around before "enjoying" them with my belly hanging out, resting my hand on my girth and eating something. Like Ivy, I also enjoyed the world record books. Gaining became more sexual to me the older I got as well. I didn't know what that "warm feeling" was until after I hit puberty.

The aspect I enjoyed the most was stuffing myself. I have fond memories of packing a huge lunch and hiking up to the big rasbperry patch above our property and binging. I popped buttons on a couple pairs of pants on different occasions. I really wanted to see my belly get bigger. I also enjoyed squeezing into tight spaces, such as booths and especially the desks at school as I got older.

A couple times I went through phases where I wanted to lose weight, to be "normal," but it never lasted long. My love of fat was too strong. I was also attracted to other fat people, men and women alike, though I didn't realize I was bi until college.

I weighed 220 in 5th grade, 10 or 11 years old. I was tall too, tallest in my class until the boys caught up in middle/high school. In 9th grade I was 250 or so. In 10th I slowly shot up to 280. About that time I discovered the bbw/fa community online and I was 330 by the time I graduated. Modeling and all that soon followed and I gained to a high weight of about 365 before becoming ill and losing down to 340 (also, my parents and family discovered my modeling), and I'm currently sitting at about 345. Most of the time I'm not gaining, rather I'm "going with the flow" and if I lose I lose, and if I gain I gain. I don't worry about it and I don't keep track of it. Then once in a while I get the urge to gain, so I do. This current one is going to be fun because I'm keeping real track of it with my new livejournal. I felt I needed to make an event of it since I've been outta the loop for over a year.

In a nutshell, I gain because it's a central part to who I am as a person. I wouldn't be me if I wasn't fat. I have more confidence in myself. I love my soft curves. I feel very feminine. I have DDD breasts I wouldn't change for the world, and my rear is my biggest asset. I'm in good proportion and my weight doesn't hinder me from doing anything I want to do. Also, like Ivy said, who wouldn't love eating what they want, when they want, and how much they want? It's complete freedom. I don't know how people can live with denying themselves everything. We're only on this earth so long, and while I'm here I'm going to enjoy it.

I've always said I'd rather die at 60 living happily than die at 90 being miserable. And I would be miserable if I wasn't fat. It's who I am, and I'm making no apologies for it.

~Aurora
What a great post. Thank you. Good for you!
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Old 04-18-2009, 11:51 AM   #41
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Again my story seems similar to alot of people's on this site, liked the heavy people in the world record books. I have always wanted to be big. Now I am giving myself that chance.
Just kicking back and eating what I want, freedom at last.
Now I can just stuff myself, and see what those extra pounds do to my body.

The main reason why I want to gain is that it gives me more freedom, freedom of how I want my body to look and feel.
I love the feel of the new fat appearing. Also how the fat affects my body.....
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Old 04-18-2009, 09:15 PM   #42
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Hear Hear!!
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Old 04-24-2009, 05:46 AM   #43
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In my young years I was always amazed with fat bodies and this motivated me not to reduce weight when I started gaining. This progressed so much that it became my target to gain weight. I had my ups and down (that I wanted to desperately reduce again), but that was all temporally. I'm now at a healthy 565lbs and love it. There is a side in me that wants to reduce for health reasons... but right now, the side that wants to stay fat is much stronger. This is not something I can say everyday; my friends will think I'm crazy if I'd tell them... Glad we have this forum....
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Old 04-25-2009, 09:58 AM   #44
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Really great post! We casn thank god for your comeback!

Chris

Quote:
Originally Posted by Aurora View Post
My story is similar to Ivy's.

I've been intentionally gaining weight off and on since I was 9 years old. I've always been fat, and I have a lot of fat family, but I'm by far the biggest.

When I was growing up I was fascinated by all things fat. Cartoons where one of the characters is fat or gains weight (anyone remember that Doug episode? Oh yeah, loved that) were great, and when they would come on TV I was embarrassed for liking them so much so I tried to make sure no one was around before "enjoying" them with my belly hanging out, resting my hand on my girth and eating something. Like Ivy, I also enjoyed the world record books. Gaining became more sexual to me the older I got as well. I didn't know what that "warm feeling" was until after I hit puberty.

The aspect I enjoyed the most was stuffing myself. I have fond memories of packing a huge lunch and hiking up to the big rasbperry patch above our property and binging. I popped buttons on a couple pairs of pants on different occasions. I really wanted to see my belly get bigger. I also enjoyed squeezing into tight spaces, such as booths and especially the desks at school as I got older.

A couple times I went through phases where I wanted to lose weight, to be "normal," but it never lasted long. My love of fat was too strong. I was also attracted to other fat people, men and women alike, though I didn't realize I was bi until college.

I weighed 220 in 5th grade, 10 or 11 years old. I was tall too, tallest in my class until the boys caught up in middle/high school. In 9th grade I was 250 or so. In 10th I slowly shot up to 280. About that time I discovered the bbw/fa community online and I was 330 by the time I graduated. Modeling and all that soon followed and I gained to a high weight of about 365 before becoming ill and losing down to 340 (also, my parents and family discovered my modeling), and I'm currently sitting at about 345. Most of the time I'm not gaining, rather I'm "going with the flow" and if I lose I lose, and if I gain I gain. I don't worry about it and I don't keep track of it. Then once in a while I get the urge to gain, so I do. This current one is going to be fun because I'm keeping real track of it with my new livejournal. I felt I needed to make an event of it since I've been outta the loop for over a year.

In a nutshell, I gain because it's a central part to who I am as a person. I wouldn't be me if I wasn't fat. I have more confidence in myself. I love my soft curves. I feel very feminine. I have DDD breasts I wouldn't change for the world, and my rear is my biggest asset. I'm in good proportion and my weight doesn't hinder me from doing anything I want to do. Also, like Ivy said, who wouldn't love eating what they want, when they want, and how much they want? It's complete freedom. I don't know how people can live with denying themselves everything. We're only on this earth so long, and while I'm here I'm going to enjoy it.

I've always said I'd rather die at 60 living happily than die at 90 being miserable. And I would be miserable if I wasn't fat. It's who I am, and I'm making no apologies for it.

~Aurora
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Old 04-28-2009, 10:24 AM   #45
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My original weight gain was unintentional, I've been skinny for the greater part of my life, and it was only when I left school that I started to actually gain weight. It was a combination of having a job where I sat around a lot, left over bakery goods for free at the end of my shift, and a lack of exercise that I used to get by walking to and from school, gym class, and actually going to the gym in my spare lessons.

I only really noticed when my gorgeous Pepe jeans were getting more and more difficult to put on, vain as I was, I had to lie down on my bedroom floor for a good ten minutes to force myself into them. That worked until one day I just couldn't do them up without severely chafing the side of my thumb, and after a lot of tears and frustration, I couldn't even hope to pull the zipper up. I tried wearing a long t-shirt to cover up the fact my flies were undone, and I actually went through that pain for a couple of weeks, even when the jeans were actually pinching and leaving imprints on my skin from how small they were on me.

Eventually I couldn't do them up at all. I got so annoyed I just pushed my belly out as far as it could go as if to prove something over those stupid jeans, and found myself fascinated by how big it had gotten. Like others have said, I've always had a fascination for bigger people, especially the process of people actively getting bigger, re-watching inflation/weight gain scenes in cartoons almost obsessively, and stuffing myself with clothes at night to feel bigger. That kinda faded when I was a young teenager, but came back in full force when I outgrew my favourite jeans. In my eyes, I was fat, even if looking back I was barely chubby.

So in my mind if I was fat, then I had the desire to force myself to be bigger, if I was going to be fat, then I wanted to be fat. From there on out I would eat all that I could, even forcing myself to when I wasn't hungry, not satisfied until my stomach was literally sticking out in pain. I would eat double bacon sandwiches for breakfast, with a packet of crisps, a chocolate bar, a pint glass of full fat coke, and if there was anything leftover to pick at, I would. I'd eat cheeseburgers, chips, crisps one packet after another, and down as much soda as I could stomach. I would even force myself to finish off whole boxes of chocolate at once, just with the satisfaction that it was all going to getting fatter. And at work, I would ravage the bakery section leftovers, eating the stuff I didn't even want just because it was there.

It was a mixture of a desire of food, and the fact that being so out of control of my body was an actual turn on for me. When my clothes got too tight, it was nothing but great, when the scales went up, I'd binge just to make them go up that little more. Christmas was just an excuse to stuff my face, which was when I started to get comments about my weight, since I had always been so slim. It really hit me when someone was describing me to a customer, you know, to point me out, and they said 'the chubby red head'. It sounds strange, but that's when I realised that I really was overweight now, and afterwards I spent forever looking over pictures of myself skinny, and of myself fat.

I realised that I wasn't eating so much for the pleasure of eating, I was doing it as a form of self harm in a way, my kink was me being out of control, being something I wasn't so keen on. It wasn't healthy since I had gained weight so fast from such unhealthy stuff, and mentally, it wasn't right that I was forcing myself to eat lots and become fat as a punishment, in a sense. From there on I ate healthily, exercised, and dropped all of that weight and then some. I don't think I have a healthy attitude to food now, I don't eat a lot, and sometimes not at all. I don't obsess over any weight I gain, and a part of me would like to be chubby again, because there was a small part that was really attracted to that form.

But as I said, I'm vain, and being thin is something I like. As attractive as I find massive weight on others, at the moment, I'm not ready for it on myself again. Well its hard to explain, I do and I don't, it's just... I can't say one way or another. So the answer is that I both want to stay thin, and to become chubby again.

..and wow. That was long.
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Old 04-28-2009, 01:52 PM   #46
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I don't think I have a why or reason, other than I'm through with restricting myself.

My weight has fluctuated for years. As a young child, I was very chubby; 9 years old I was over 100lbs, and always steadily gaining weight because I loved to eat. Senior year in high school, I was at my biggest ever at the time of 280lbs.

Then I started loosing weight around that time after going to the doctor for help. I lost over 100lbs with medication and some of it on my own. At the time I started my first job the following year, I was 174lbs.

The job I took was a fast food one, and one of my favorite places to eat. We could eat for free at breaks and was allowed almost anything. Over the course of the first four years, I packed back on nearly 50lbs to 220lbs.

At the time, I sort of freaked about getting big again and started a diet, which just consisted of bringing a home-bagged lunch of better foods. I dropped about 10lbs and held steady at 210 until I broke up with an ex-best friend later in the year. Out of depression, I lost another 20lbs.

Then the beginning of 2007 brought a lot of changes to my life. I moved out on my own for the first time to live with a now ex-roommate. My schedule changed with the fact I was helping to care for said roommate's baby at the time when she was at work. I started eating later and later, and more because I was so hungry by the time I got around to eat. Sometimes I got confined to the apartment with the baby if her mother forgot to leave me her carseat and I became so bored, I began to snack; a lot.

My weight quickly crept up again and I did think about going back to that diet I did before, but I was so tired of battling it all. I liked the fact of eating what I wanted, when I wanted and how much I wanted. So I gave up the fight and let it go. And go I did. My weight is currently the highest it's ever been at over 300lbs, packing on over 100lbs in a year and a half.

I've never been this big before, my belly so round and bulging, and so hungry; all the time now. I've wondered every now and then if I should lose some of this weight, but then I've come to like how my upper belly just overflows the waistband of my pants. I love to feel how round my belly has grown and is still growing. I've even considered gaining another 25-30lbs, but I think I want to find someone to help me get those pounds.
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Old 04-28-2009, 04:09 PM   #47
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So, I wrote this perfect (much shorter) response to this earlier and then the internet ate it because I didn't post it right away!

Anyway, the desire to gain weight has been a huge part of my life for a very long time. I've gained on and off (and even intentionally lost weight) many different times since I was about 12 or so. My current gaining endeavor has been my longest, most serious, and most satisfying.

Ever since I was a really young kid I have wanted to be fat. Not just kinda fat, but really fat. The kind of fat that I never ever got to see in person living in the town that I lived in. I remember being obsessed with the Guinness Book Of World Records when I was 7. I would stare at the worlds fattest people section for hours and read as much of it as possible being that I was in first grade and didn't fully understand what was being said. At garage sales and library book sales I would always hunt down old copies of the Guinness Book Of World Records from the '60s and '70s and buy them. It was an obsession. I don't even know where the idea that I was meant to be fat came from. All of my family is very thin and always has been. My mom weighed in at a whopping 96 pounds up until 10 years ago. She is probably 130 or so now and thinks that she is gigantic. My only fat relative was my grandma on my dad's side, but I was never facinated by her weight or size in the least. It's just a desire that I've had ever since I can remember. In fact, my very first memory is of my father and I at our local grocery store and stealing cookies out of the bulk cookie bin when he wasn't paying attention. He caught me and I remember him telling me that I couldn't eat that many cookies because I would get fat. I remember me telling him that i wanted to be "a giant." hahaha.

As a child, and especially as a preteen, I started to think a lot more about how I felt that I was supposed to be a very fat girl. I always envied girls at school who were bigger than I was, yet at the same time felt a lot of pressure to be thin because of my family. I was very conflicted about it, but deep down I could recognize what I wanted and what I felt. I felt like the body that I was in was not the body that I was supposed to have. I guess you could say that I felt like my body was too small for me. Gaining was constantly on my mind and for the longest time there was nothing sexual about it for me. It was simply that I felt ugly at my current size and like I looked entirely different from how I was supposed to. It did however, end up turning into a sexual thing around the time I was 11 or so.

In my case, the strongest driving force behind my desire to gain weight has never been the sexual aspect. All of that said, the sexual aspect of things are definitely motivating as well. Gaining has been the most sexual experience of my life. Sex has become more and more amazing and intense and my orgasms as well the bigger that I get. I can't imagine what I will do when reality sets in and I have to stop gaining. It is a most unpleasant thought. I love feeling and seeing the way my movement changes as I have gotten bigger. Parts of me that never used to jiggle now do and I love that. I love feeling the way that I move now and comparing it to how moving used to feel. I love being able to eat whatever I want, whenever I want, and eat as much of it as I want. I love outgrowing my clothes because it means I have a totally legitimate reason to buy a new outfit. But most of all, I love finally starting to feel like I look like how I was meant to look.

I don't think that this is exactly the response the OP was expecting as it's kind of heavy in comparison to the other responses, but it's the total and complete truth as to why I choose to gain. This post is a million times long than it needs to be, but whatever. I'm exhausted and fighting a crazy headache, so sorry about the crazy punctuation/grammar/thoughts.
Quoted in its entirety because I would've said the same thing if I hadn't read Ivy's post first.

I feel that I am finally at home in my body now that I'm at my heaviest. It's such a blissful feeling...I'm constantly enthralled with it and really never want it to end.
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Old 04-28-2009, 04:10 PM   #48
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My original weight gain was unintentional, I've been skinny for the greater part of my life, and it was only when I left school that I started to actually gain weight. It was a combination of having a job where I sat around a lot, left over bakery goods for free at the end of my shift, and a lack of exercise that I used to get by walking to and from school, gym class, and actually going to the gym in my spare lessons.

I only really noticed when my gorgeous Pepe jeans were getting more and more difficult to put on, vain as I was, I had to lie down on my bedroom floor for a good ten minutes to force myself into them. That worked until one day I just couldn't do them up without severely chafing the side of my thumb, and after a lot of tears and frustration, I couldn't even hope to pull the zipper up. I tried wearing a long t-shirt to cover up the fact my flies were undone, and I actually went through that pain for a couple of weeks, even when the jeans were actually pinching and leaving imprints on my skin from how small they were on me.

Eventually I couldn't do them up at all. I got so annoyed I just pushed my belly out as far as it could go as if to prove something over those stupid jeans, and found myself fascinated by how big it had gotten. Like others have said, I've always had a fascination for bigger people, especially the process of people actively getting bigger, re-watching inflation/weight gain scenes in cartoons almost obsessively, and stuffing myself with clothes at night to feel bigger. That kinda faded when I was a young teenager, but came back in full force when I outgrew my favourite jeans. In my eyes, I was fat, even if looking back I was barely chubby.

So in my mind if I was fat, then I had the desire to force myself to be bigger, if I was going to be fat, then I wanted to be fat. From there on out I would eat all that I could, even forcing myself to when I wasn't hungry, not satisfied until my stomach was literally sticking out in pain. I would eat double bacon sandwiches for breakfast, with a packet of crisps, a chocolate bar, a pint glass of full fat coke, and if there was anything leftover to pick at, I would. I'd eat cheeseburgers, chips, crisps one packet after another, and down as much soda as I could stomach. I would even force myself to finish off whole boxes of chocolate at once, just with the satisfaction that it was all going to getting fatter. And at work, I would ravage the bakery section leftovers, eating the stuff I didn't even want just because it was there.

It was a mixture of a desire of food, and the fact that being so out of control of my body was an actual turn on for me. When my clothes got too tight, it was nothing but great, when the scales went up, I'd binge just to make them go up that little more. Christmas was just an excuse to stuff my face, which was when I started to get comments about my weight, since I had always been so slim. It really hit me when someone was describing me to a customer, you know, to point me out, and they said 'the chubby red head'. It sounds strange, but that's when I realised that I really was overweight now, and afterwards I spent forever looking over pictures of myself skinny, and of myself fat.

I realised that I wasn't eating so much for the pleasure of eating, I was doing it as a form of self harm in a way, my kink was me being out of control, being something I wasn't so keen on. It wasn't healthy since I had gained weight so fast from such unhealthy stuff, and mentally, it wasn't right that I was forcing myself to eat lots and become fat as a punishment, in a sense. From there on I ate healthily, exercised, and dropped all of that weight and then some. I don't think I have a healthy attitude to food now, I don't eat a lot, and sometimes not at all. I don't obsess over any weight I gain, and a part of me would like to be chubby again, because there was a small part that was really attracted to that form.

But as I said, I'm vain, and being thin is something I like. As attractive as I find massive weight on others, at the moment, I'm not ready for it on myself again. Well its hard to explain, I do and I don't, it's just... I can't say one way or another. So the answer is that I both want to stay thin, and to become chubby again.

..and wow. That was long.
That is sweet and erotic and sad all at the same time - sweet that you enjoyed it so much, and wrote about it so elegantly; erotic because of your vivid descriptions (and the pictures of you on the other thread showed that you carried the weight really rather well, too), and sad that it didn't work out for you in the end.

You know, subtle and slow weight gain can be just as alluring as gaining weight very quickly, and is far less problematic for your health (rapid fluctuations of weight - in either direction - can be harmful): the pleasure is spred out over a far greater time, and the anticipation of what is to come is all the more pointed.
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Old 05-05-2009, 09:34 PM   #49
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My story is similar to Ivy's.

Cartoons where one of the characters is fat or gains weight (anyone remember that Doug episode? Oh yeah, loved that)
~Aurora
The one when he went to his grandma's for the summer and came back fat! Omg I loved that episode as kid! I had forgot all about it until you brought it up. Now that I think about it that and the episode when homer gets really fat on the simpsons were some of my favorite. Of course Miss Piggy was my favorite t.v charecter.

I have told my story on dims before but it is very similar to Ivy's, Aurora's, and I am sure many others. I come from a family of big people so I think partially being big made me feel safe and loved. My family always tried to diet and lose weight and they NEVER wanted me to become fat. I remember sneaking my aunt's 3X clothes as a child, putting them on, and stuffing them with pillows. Just walking around when nobody was home imagining how I would look one day was such a treat for me. I could not wait to be fat. I was obsessed with fat people I only wanted to hang out with fat kids, naturally my best friend in first grade ended up being the fattest girl in class, and I drew pictures of fat people all the time. I snuck food when ever I could and did odd jobs around the neighborhood for money. I would go to the sub shop everyday after school in middle and high school and have a sandwich and fries before dinner. I just loved the way it felt when I was full, and I loved seeing new fat on my body. Before I even realized my aunt's old clothes fit me and some were too small. I of course have battled with this feeling of enjoyment from gaining and the desire to loose so that I can be "normal." I want to be healthy, I want to have kids one day...It is hard to swallow when being fat makes you physically so happy and when looking at other fat people is so visually appealing to you, and you know the reprocussions that these choices could have. If I had it my way I would be 400 lbs and I would love it. But I know that realistically that does not go well with the type of life that I want for myself. So for now I will enjoy myself at the size that I am, go with the flow, and hope for the best.
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Old 05-08-2009, 04:35 PM   #50
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This board needs more discussion evoking questions - so here's mine:

If you will, please share with us, what is it about the extra weight that turns you on. Is it the feel, the appearance, all of the above or something else?

As other have said and I agree, I enjoy the feel of being bigger and seeing how part of my body get bigger, rounder, extra folds are also good. I enjoy the eatting and planning to eat, also enjoy cooking. I have gained 100lbs in the last year, after a loss of about 80 lbs. So only 20 lbs in the last 18 months all up.
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