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Old 06-12-2014, 10:34 AM   #126
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Have always been a big girl. I love me. I rock what I got. I have never really let my weight be an obstacle-or an excuse. I dated regularly (finally settled down 4 yrs ago with my hotness of a BHM hub), lived my life, travel...

Sure there are things I can't do...as mentioned above in another post, I am not a beach person either (but mostly because I am fair skinned and burn) and fun park rides are pretty much out of the question (but afraid of heights, so never really minded). I still go to these places with my family, but have learned my limitations and work around them. I can ride the flume and watch my kids have a great time. Still memories...just not ones of falling off the side of a coaster...lol.

I think in many ways it may be easier for girls who have always been big...it is has always been my norm and just lived my life. It may have been easier for me as I also do not suffer from many of the health issues that may come with being a big girl. I recently changed doctor groups and went for my new patient physical. I giggled because the nurse had a physically noticeable look of surprise on her face when my blood pressure came back low. Like the nurse, the doctor was surprised to find that I am in better shape than most of her patients half my size. I chase my almost 2 year old, garden and try to stay active. I don't weigh myself, because honestly, I don't care. I have a wonderful life. If I lose weight, so be it. If not, so be it.

I know it is not easy for everyone. I have noticed that most problems related to weight (for thin girls who think they are fat as well as big girls) is based in their esteem and insecurity. My advice is to love what you got. It's easy to love yourself...you just need to work on getting over what others think. If you live your life and not worry about what everyone else cares about, then you can enjoy your life and worry about the things YOU care about. Don't say I can't...say how can I make it work? Don't like going to the beach? Then don't go. There are so many things to see in the world. Have to go to the beach anyway? Take an umbrella and sit on the beach...volunteer to be the picture person...maybe you can't swim, but you can walk in the waves...make the most of it! Wear capris and a summery top...bathing suit is not mandatory wear. Your size will not stop you from going...only your insecurity.

If you want to be thinner, then do it because YOU want to. If you like you as is...ROCK IT my darlings...
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Old 06-13-2014, 03:08 AM   #127
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everything on my body gets on my nerves at times- i have really long hair that likes to morph into a myriad of razor-like whips every time I roll down a window in the car, but it's perfect for when I want to do a spectacular Cousin It impression! - and my belly does all kinds of stuff to make my life difficult and gets in the way a lot- but it's also very helpful- like right now, it's the perfect desk for my laptop, and all the kids in my family think I'm basically a human beanbag/slash slide and climb all over me ...

I learned to accept my self long before I got fat, and it was a hard road! The gift in this achievement is I depend on no one else's approval, and that can't be taken away once you have it!

so to answer the question (bout time right?) I love my fat (most of the time), and I would not take a skinny pill because of sooo many reasons- the first being that I don't trust anything that comes too easily and I'm not big on pills - the second being that I'm a bit possessive of the uniqueness I own in my rolls and whatnot and I'm not apt to give that up too easily

My weight fluctuates, and I let it to what it wants and try to put mostly good stuff into my body
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Old 06-13-2014, 08:02 AM   #128
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I just read her post about whether she likes or dislikes being a bbw and I just thought, I wanted to say, what a nice lady!

I would never think of her as a cousin it, but I've never heard her talk...

As to her figure... WOW! I definitely vote for liking!
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Old 06-13-2014, 08:48 AM   #129
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from my experience in the community, the body positive support swings very far into the feminine territory- i feel that large men are very much under represented

That being said... We all have a personal journey to make, but I promise every one of you the absolutely hardest step to make toward accepting yourself (in anyway; body, spirit, mind) is that first step. It's a friggin' doozy and feels insurmountable. It isn't. Once you take it, subsequent steps get easier and easier until eventually it becomes an easy stride, a natural part of who you are.

That first step, in my opinion, is to simply communicate positively with yourself. It sounds completely cheesy and it goes against every grain of what most of us are taught from childhood, but you need to curb the voices in your own mind. Force yourself to speak positively about yourself.

It doesn't matter if you don't really believe or feel it. The first time you spoke negatively to yourself, it was likely simply a repetition of what you heard rather than a true negative thought. Just as that negativity embedded tick-like into your psyche, so will positivity.

It is deceptively simple in retrospect. However, I remember how insanely difficult it was for me to say a single positive thing about myself to myself in the beginning.

My own journey was spiritually based rather than physically, but it's the same principles.

Step número uno: Say nice things to yourself and about yourself.

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I've accepted that I'll most likely be this size for the majority of my life, which is most likely going to be short. I live in a small town and don't really go any where. I find it hard going into stores and may do is once a month. I suppose it's quite hypocritical but I don't see other large people as I see myself. I feel like a freak of nature, a mistake. But I don't feel that way about some one else my size. Why? I know I'm a handsome and great guy, but I can't get over my body. It's something I'm trying to work on, I just don't know where to start.
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Old 06-13-2014, 11:39 PM   #130
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Originally Posted by AppreSheAte View Post
I just read her post about whether she likes or dislikes being a bbw and I just thought, I wanted to say, what a nice lady!

I would never think of her as a cousin it, but I've never heard her talk...

As to her figure... WOW! I definitely vote for liking!
i've met her and she is just as sweet in person.

PS: there is absolutely nothing cousin it at all about that beautiful girl. you are going to have to stand in a long line to flirt
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Old 06-26-2014, 04:15 PM   #131
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Would I take a magic pill if I could - yes, but only part of one. I have always been on the plus size of the fence - I am 5'10" - at my heaviest at about 317 - am now around 277 and would realistically and honestly like to be 225 - would also be happy at 160 but doubt that would ever happen - I know myself too well and I have always felt stronger and more secure (if that makes sense) at a heavier weight than what all the "normal" people around me weighed (and acted).

7 years ago I came down with what my doctor and I thought was walking pneumonia (I've had it twice before along with pleurisy) - I had been up all night with severe pain and breathing problems but thought it was just the bug (I am an asthmatic and have severe allergies) and my asthma kicking in. My family took me in to the doctor that morning for a follow-up appointment and the doctor I saw felt I was having a heart attack and wanted to order an ambulance for me.

Well, I detest the sounds of sirens in a major way - so I said no, we'll drive to the university hospital (about 15 miles away) - I even insisted that we stop and get my family something to eat through the McDonald's drive-up window as I didn't want my mom's low blood sugar to activate.

Made it to ER, was admitted, then I guess I had passed out shortly before they took me up to ICU as I don't remember that part. I spent 5 days in ICU and 5 on the floor. Apparently I had had a pulmonary embolism (blood clot) that had caused my heart to enlarge dangerously and caused me to have congestive heart failure. I remember waking up that first early morning in ICU and the head doctor on my case was grilling me with questions about my health, who I had been around, had I traveled anywhere etc. After many many tests, it was determined that I had come down with the type of flu that had killed at least 5 other people that season in the region and I was lucky to survive not only that but also the timing of it along with the embolism and CHF. I had a triple doozy.

I won't bore you with details about being in the hospital - I am not a good patient by any means and someone who was watching the Alfred Hitchcock movie marathon at night in ICU by the 2nd night, well, let's just say I was rather unique by even their standards.

What I will say is this - it has been 7 years and my left heart valve is only now functioning at 49% from 42% even though I have tried to boost my activity levels etc. I have not always had the energy to. Being put on Warfarin (blood thinner) made my periods go insane (changing 1x per hour for at least 72 hrs on end) where I had menorrhagia - basically house-bound at least 7 days per month because my lining was 20mm vs the average 5mm for several years (it is now thinned out where I am able to use the Mirena IUD to control my period - it is almost gone and will most likely stop permanently - and yes, all my doctors are in agreement for me to be on itn - surgery was not an option for me for various reasons) - between it and my heart valve being like it is, and also being severely anemic, my energy level is no where near where it used to be but it is improving.

My life is starting to improve in many areas. I am being more of my true self again. I have missed me.

I have missed being able to walk down the street instead of just riding in the car looking.
I have missed being able to feel the ocean on my skin and scrunch up my toes in the sand.
I enjoy being able to see the birds in the trees instead of just hearing them through the window.
I am even thinking of getting a dog again - which will make my heart leap for joy (in the best of ways) because I know I can honestly take care of it.
I can be here to help support my family - my mom is a cancer patient and my sister may have pancreatic cancer - she is in monitoring mode.
I won't fail my family any more nor myself for being such a burden in many respects.

So yeah I'd take part of a pill. Because I love life. I love my life and I love those in my life. I want to be as healthy as I realistically can be. I want to stop taking as many heart pills as realistically possible. There's that song that says I may not be as good as I once was but I'm good once as I ever was.

I want to stretch that good once for a long time to come.

I can be a BBW and be healthy and live a full life. It does not define me. My size does not define me. I define me. And that's what it is all about.

Being who you are really meant to be. And the hell with anyone else's opinion. Because at the end of the day, it is you and you alone who has to live in your skin.

Damn the torpedoes and full steam ahead!
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Old 07-06-2014, 08:31 AM   #132
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At first, it was more of just acceptance. I am who I am. I've never been skinny and I probably won't ever be. Now though, I really do love it. I can't imagine myself being small (not that there's anything wrong with that) and I really love the way my body looks.
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Old 09-15-2014, 02:53 PM   #133
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I used to be terrified to be at my current weight. Now that it's here, I don't mind it so much. Yeah, it sucks to go shopping with all the horrible fashion out there, but I can work around it. All my life I thought I was 300 pounds, even when I only weighed 180. Twenty years later, I actually do weigh 300, and yes, it's murder on my back, and I'm out of breath climbing stairs, but it's just not that horrible. As long as my health doesn't suffer, I'll try to be as active as I can, and try not to worry about what kids half my age are doing.

Not that young anymore, and that's harder to accept than my weight!
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Old 09-15-2014, 03:39 PM   #134
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I have been heavy all my life as much in here have stated. My heaviest was close to 500 pounds (sadly to say) because where my stomach laid on my legs I got infection and had to have a tummy where they removed 25 pounds, thereafter I lost 160 pounds total but gained some of it back now I weigh 387 and I have accepted my body as it is.. however I have had to try and lose some weight due to health issues from being a Diabetic and I do want to be able to walk and do what others do without the assistance of a wheelchair or walker. I have 2 small grandbabies to chase, play with and enjoy not to try and lose some where I can just that.
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Old 09-25-2014, 11:54 AM   #135
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I love my fat body as it is. If I lose a little I'll survive. I'm sure the lost fat will find its way back.
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Old 09-25-2014, 01:45 PM   #136
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I'm 5'4 and I weigh roughly 305-310 somewhere (it bounces back and forth with my half ass attempts at losing lol). I'm not thrilled with it. Especially after having been recently diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes.

I've always been a big girl and I've always struggled with it. However I am (as I posted in my intro entry) trying to learn to love and accept myself as is! Its why I joined this group.Hoping some of the awesome positive mojo rubs off on me!
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Old 09-25-2014, 04:00 PM   #137
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I'm 5'4 and I weigh roughly 305-310 somewhere (it bounces back and forth with my half ass attempts at losing lol). I'm not thrilled with it. Especially after having been recently diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes.

I've always been a big girl and I've always struggled with it. However I am (as I posted in my intro entry) trying to learn to love and accept myself as is! Its why I joined this group.Hoping some of the awesome positive mojo rubs off on me!

I am the same way! Although some days are more difficult than others to just accept myself, I've learned to love myself more and not judge others, I've been in these forums for years and it helps tremendously just with helping to love myself and understand others. We welcome you with open arms lady!
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Old 09-25-2014, 09:58 PM   #138
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I'm 5'4 and I weigh roughly 305-310 somewhere (it bounces back and forth with my half ass attempts at losing lol). I'm not thrilled with it. Especially after having been recently diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes.

I've always been a big girl and I've always struggled with it. However I am (as I posted in my intro entry) trying to learn to love and accept myself as is! Its why I joined this group.Hoping some of the awesome positive mojo rubs off on me!
and girl a lot of us will make you feel positively tiny
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Old 09-25-2014, 10:00 PM   #139
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I am the same way! Although some days are more difficult than others to just accept myself, I've learned to love myself more and not judge others, I've been in these forums for years and it helps tremendously just with helping to love myself and understand others. We welcome you with open arms lady!
Thank you! I love the Loving yourself more and not judging others approach... I bet that alone is making a difference. if you're not putting out any negativity its gonna make a difference in how you feel about yourself too! I'm very excited about getting involved in these forums!
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Old 09-25-2014, 10:01 PM   #140
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and girl a lot of us will make you feel positively tiny

LOL <3 Well thank you all for making me feel so welcome!!
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Old 02-22-2015, 06:45 PM   #141
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in your journey where are you? do you or are you at the stage of just trying to accept your fat or do you actually like it? i know a lot of people have gone from kind of accepting the societal line that its better to be thin to accepting the size they are. where do you fit on the continuim? if there were a skinny pill would you take it tomorrow? would you be ok with losing for non health oriented reasons or do you feel a bit sad when you drop a few? are you happier when you gain? or are you somewhere in the middle, enjoying it on some days and not so much on others?
I've kind of realized that I don't like my size, I merely accept it. And I don't know why I've accepted it for as long as I have. I've always been an active person, but stupid hypothyroidism and PCOS make it so hard to lose weight, so I just sunk into a life of being fat.

I'm so tired of it, guys. I just want to slice open my skin and squish all the fat out. I wish I had a magic genie that could just change everything about my body. I'd be so much better at all that I want to do if I was just not fat. Heck, I don't even want to be skinny. I'd be okay with being above average in size. Just not what I am today. 352 pounds of tired, sad, unhappy, Emily.
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Old 02-25-2015, 06:57 PM   #142
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I've kind of realized that I don't like my size, I merely accept it. And I don't know why I've accepted it for as long as I have. I've always been an active person, but stupid hypothyroidism and PCOS make it so hard to lose weight, so I just sunk into a life of being fat.

I'm so tired of it, guys. I just want to slice open my skin and squish all the fat out. I wish I had a magic genie that could just change everything about my body. I'd be so much better at all that I want to do if I was just not fat. Heck, I don't even want to be skinny. I'd be okay with being above average in size. Just not what I am today. 352 pounds of tired, sad, unhappy, Emily.
I wish I could give you a hug.

Are we twins? I also have hypothyroidism and PCOS. I managed to get up to 503lbs before my family doctor (who I absolutely love, she has never judged me) referred me to a bariatric doctor. I am not interested in surgery at all, BUT there are some options for medically assisted weight loss. I won't hijack the thread with all that I'm on, but if you want some more information, feel free to message me. I'd love to chat sometime.

I always hated my weight growing up, mostly because that was the attitude that was projected onto me by my mother. Being overweight was shameful, disgusting, unhealthy, and ugly. I spent my childhood and teenage years into the beginning of my 20s either on a diet, crashing from a diet, or planning a diet.

Something clicked in me around 21/22 years old. I was so, so tired of always feeling not good enough. I decided to approach it from another angle and accept myself for the way I was. It hasn't been easy and I wouldn't say I adore my body, but we've come to a mutual understanding that my body is not perfect, needs some medication to function properly, and binge eating and laying in bed all day is going to make it bigger. (Which is not bad, but a fact.)

The weight was always manageable, up until, probably over 450lbs. Things became harder to do. My anxiety and depression also steadily increased over time (not necessarily from just the weight, life made a difference, too). Once I hit 500lbs, I was just so shocked by that number, like it was something I was never going to reach, even though the scale consistently showed that eventually I would. I became depressed specifically about my weight. I started sleeping up to 20 hours a day. I shut down. I really wasn't happy being that big.

Thankfully with insurance and finally finding a family doctor that was non-judgmental and extremely supportive, I quit smoking on my own this past September after 10 years of chain smoking, and was referred to a bariatric doctor. I feel good about the diet change and weight loss so far. I have no dreams of being a stick figure, and while I'm trying not to focus on a number, under 300lbs seems reasonable to me, although ultimately it is up to my body what works best.

Two things have helped me accept and sometimes feel good in my skin:
1. Compulsive/emotional eating self help books, as well as body acceptance books.
2. I know this sounds shallow, but going into various BBW/SSBBW chatrooms and dating sites and putting myself out there. Yes, there are 2394230 perverts who want to use you and discard you, but for ever 2394230th pervert there is also a handful of nice men that shower you with compliments and feel good vibes. They make you feel worthy, not just physically but mentally as well. It's been really nice, since I've never received that adoration and attention in person.
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Old 02-26-2015, 02:13 AM   #143
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This is a good question.. and I'm going to be honest. I hate it. I hate myself and the way I look and if I have to live the rest of my life in this body I would be okay with not living at all. I'm not suicidal or anything, just would feel kind of relieved not to be alive anymore if this is how i have to live.
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Old 02-26-2015, 05:57 AM   #144
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I've kind of realized that I don't like my size, I merely accept it. And I don't know why I've accepted it for as long as I have. I've always been an active person, but stupid hypothyroidism and PCOS make it so hard to lose weight, so I just sunk into a life of being fat.
That was the way I felt. I had been told so many times by so many different people that my only choices were weight loss surgery or acceptance because of the PCOS and hypothyroidism. Acceptance worked for several years, but after I passed 350 pounds, "acceptance" became "resignation" and I felt my ability to lead a fulfilling life slowly slip away as I continued to steadily gain more weight.

The breaking point was when I passed 500 pounds in my early 30's and was unable to leave my home without somebody pushing me in a wheelchair, and my health deteriorated to the point where my doctor said I would either be dead or bedbound by age 40. Surgery was not an option for me, due to financial constraints, and my doctors at the time could not offer me any alternative. So I had to figure this out on my own.

Now I am back down into the 300's and close to being at a sustainable weight again. My health has stabilized and I am no longer in imminent danger of organ failure or sudden death, my mobility has improved to the point where I can lead a more normal life, and my potential lifespan has increased considerably. I am no longer resigned to existing in my body. When I get to my goal weight I will be a completely self-accepting fat person again.

Fat itself was never the problem. Self-acceptance in terms of living in a fat body within a society that doesn't particularly value fat bodies was never the problem. It was never about how anybody else felt about me or my body but how my body affected my ability to live my life.

I like being me, I like being a fat me. I like the curves, I like the roundness, I like the softness. As long as it doesn't interfere with the rest of my life.
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Old 03-15-2015, 06:19 PM   #145
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Right now I feel too heavy. I feel like I get looks. I used to not care, but now for some reason it bothers me a lot. However, I'm very content with being a bbw.
I'd like to lose some weight now simply to be more mobile and less self-conscious.
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Old 03-15-2015, 08:59 PM   #146
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in your journey where are you? do you or are you at the stage of just trying to accept your fat or do you actually like it? i know a lot of people have gone from kind of accepting the societal line that its better to be thin to accepting the size they are. where do you fit on the continuim? if there were a skinny pill would you take it tomorrow? would you be ok with losing for non health oriented reasons or do you feel a bit sad when you drop a few? are you happier when you gain? or are you somewhere in the middle, enjoying it on some days and not so much on others?


Well how I feel about myself is with any of these options I'd be happy with myself for the most part (sometimes I do have my down days) bigger, smaller, colored purple, I'd still want to wake up happy to be me. I will be honest with myself and say if I did wake up bigger than I went to sleep I would be more upset than if I woke up smaller than when I went to sleep though. However, I would try to look in the mirror smile and try to live on fabulously
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Old 11-01-2015, 12:37 AM   #147
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I'm OK with being big most of the time but there are days where I would like to be 100 pounds lighter.
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Old 11-01-2015, 09:07 AM   #148
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My weight has been up and down all my life. Most of the time I didn't appreciate it but ever since I started transitioning I been enjoying the perks of being fat.
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Old 01-10-2016, 01:41 AM   #149
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I do not absolutely love it, but I have learned to accept it. Especially since my doctor has pretty much told me I will never be thin. It was freeing in a way. I am in reasonably good health with good blood pressure and blood glucose etc. I am lucky there. I guess if my body were more embraced by society it would be great, but my husband truly sees me and my body as beautiful and with that I am growing in confidence.
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Old 01-28-2016, 01:15 PM   #150
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I myself am starting to like it. I like my curves and belly. I'm around 230 and that's my steady point. I work in an industry where looks matter (entertainment related) yet, guys seem to think I'm cute and like me. I'm not sure why to be honest.
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