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Old 01-13-2012, 03:59 PM   #251
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Originally Posted by Surlysomething View Post
I'm a giver.

That's all I have to say about that.
Men everywhere are standing and cheering and whistling loudly Here!Here!.
There'd be a bigger line of takers for that than there would be for someone giving away free money.

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Originally Posted by lovelylady78 View Post
I liked it when we were talking about cock-blocking video games, and I like it now... it's not one specific topic for me. I just enjoy raunchy sex humor.
I gather that you, like me, just have a penchant for vulgar, sophomoric humor. The first American Pie should have won an Oscar.

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So what you're trying to say is that you have a way with B-O-L-O-G-N-A??
This made me howl, but for reasons you wouldn't know.

Aw, what the hell, it's a short story, I'll tell it. One of my very best friends, a guy, we call bologna tits, and that made me think about one time I returned to his apartment a minute after I left, because I left my smokes and nice Zippo on his balcony ledge, and in the time it took to walk to my car and back he and his future ex-wife decided to get it on in the living room. As I walked back up and the balcony creaked, my friend saw me through the sliding glass patio door with the blind still open, he was like a deer in headlights as his pants were around his ankles and she looked up and went doe-eyed, but had a mouthful so I don't know what the rest of her face looked like.
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Old 01-13-2012, 08:59 PM   #252
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I do hope you're at least springing for the glow-in-the-dark one.
I think I can safely say that a guy wearing a glow in the dark anything that looks like a long whisker is gonna get laughed at by his lady, especially if he has an Ernest P. Worrell look on his face like that. Gonna eat some pussy, Vern! His talent better be exemplary, because being laughed at during sex doesn't exactly keep Mr. Happy at full mast.

Luckily I never had a problem in that area...I prefer to laugh afterwards. Loosens the jaw muscles.
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Old 01-13-2012, 10:55 PM   #253
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I think I can safely say that a guy wearing a glow in the dark anything that looks like a long whisker is gonna get laughed at by his lady, especially if he has an Ernest P. Worrell look on his face like that. Gonna eat some pussy, Vern! His talent better be exemplary, because being laughed at during sex doesn't exactly keep Mr. Happy at full mast.

Luckily I never had a problem in that area...I prefer to laugh afterwards. Loosens the jaw muscles.
You know what else is a mood killer...pretending a penis is a gear shift and pretending to shift in different gears and make car noises...

It's a wonder I ever get any...I have WAY too much fun. My man has learned to endure lots of gags and horseplay. Tonight I ran naked through the living room naked and acted like my tits were guns. He humored me and pretended to be shot...and then I did it again in super slo mo
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Old 01-13-2012, 11:10 PM   #254
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If the responses I've seen so far are any indication, there will be LOTS of laughs when I whip out the snorkel. There will be lots of laughter, lots of oral or both; how can a girl go wrong with those choices?
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Old 01-14-2012, 09:41 AM   #255
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You know what else is a mood killer...pretending a penis is a gear shift and pretending to shift in different gears and make car noises...

It's a wonder I ever get any...I have WAY too much fun. My man has learned to endure lots of gags and horseplay. Tonight I ran naked through the living room naked and acted like my tits were guns. He humored me and pretended to be shot...and then I did it again in super slo mo
You sound completely AWESOME!!!
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Old 01-14-2012, 09:51 AM   #256
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I'm considering a mail-order husband.
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Old 01-14-2012, 11:33 AM   #257
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I'm considering a mail-order husband.
There's only so much customization that you can do, though...and that's a shame.
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Old 01-14-2012, 11:36 AM   #258
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This is true, but I imagine the language barrier to make for awesome sex.
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Old 01-14-2012, 05:21 PM   #259
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I love showering at dusk with a window open.

It feels hedonistic.
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Old 01-14-2012, 05:26 PM   #260
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I love showering at dusk with a window open.

It feels hedonistic.
OMG AGREE!
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Old 01-14-2012, 05:27 PM   #261
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Me three.......................
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Free me, free yourself
A life of sacrifice controlled me
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No longer hold me
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The shackles fall away I'm in your power



People throw rocks at things that shine.
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Old 01-14-2012, 05:28 PM   #262
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IC- I feel that way too by walking around the house naked and air drying after a shower.
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Old 01-14-2012, 05:28 PM   #263
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It's like a fresh, sexy start to the evening.

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Old 01-14-2012, 06:10 PM   #264
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It's a shame it's too cold here to try it out. I'll have to wait until spring, when the trees outside my window will have more leaves and I won't be so...exposed...

*runs to the shower and ambitiously opens the window*
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Old 01-14-2012, 06:27 PM   #265
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It's a shame it's too cold here to try it out. I'll have to wait until spring, when the trees outside my window will have more leaves and I won't be so...exposed...

*runs to the shower and ambitiously opens the window*
Unless you have cold showers, I think you'll be safe from freezing your bits and pieces.
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Old 01-14-2012, 06:37 PM   #266
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Even just having sunlight shine through into the shower is heavenly. I love it. I miss having a window in my shower....Now, I shower in a room without windows....and it feels like I'm in a dungeon or something. I hate the artificial light. It was nice showering with just the light from the sun.
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Old 01-14-2012, 06:45 PM   #267
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Even just having sunlight shine through into the shower is heavenly. I love it. I miss having a window in my shower....Now, I shower in a room without windows....and it feels like I'm in a dungeon or something. I hate the artificial light. It was nice showering with just the light from the sun.
In the last place I lived the shower had glass blocks in it that shone light through. It was amazing.
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Old 01-14-2012, 08:58 PM   #268
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You sound completely AWESOME!!!
Thank you it's never been proven though
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Old 01-15-2012, 02:51 PM   #269
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IC- I feel that way too by walking around the house naked and air drying after a shower.
That's the only way I dry out after a shower. Given my normal evening ablutions after a shower (shave, teethbrushing, etc.) I'm usually dry by the time it comes for jammytime. Then again I have to be careful because the kids are still in that "I laugh at everything nudity related" stage.

They're rather disappointed I don't do the "Dinger Dance". I don't know if I necessarily need to explain it, just think hip rotation and windmilling of your nether regions. They're easily amused, I suppose.
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Old 01-15-2012, 03:19 PM   #270
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IC- I feel that way too by walking around the house naked and air drying after a shower.

PS: thanks for the visual
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Old 01-15-2012, 03:23 PM   #271
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PS: thanks for the visual
Ahh, that's just the mental image, I could always post the video for the true visual.


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Old 01-15-2012, 03:24 PM   #272
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Ahh, that's just the mental image, I could always post the video for the true visual.



Quit teasing me! Haha.

I have a cold and for some reason I get pretty ramped up while i'm sick.
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Old 01-15-2012, 03:33 PM   #273
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Day 38: I think I must usually gain energy from my orgasms because I have been lazy and mopey...then again, perhaps I've just replaced my usual procrasterbation habits with procrastinapping.
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Old 01-15-2012, 03:34 PM   #274
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Quit teasing me! Haha.

I have a cold and for some reason I get pretty ramped up while i'm sick.
Heh, no teasing here, it's actually probably far from sexy as I just wander out and stand under a ceiling fan and cool off because I take scalding hot showers for some reason. Or if it is dark and winter time, go stand outside in my backyard.

Hope you get to feeling better. I offer no remedies, I just usually bitch at people grumpily until I feel better.
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Old 01-15-2012, 04:04 PM   #275
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Surlysomething has ascended what used to be the highest level.Surlysomething has ascended what used to be the highest level.Surlysomething has ascended what used to be the highest level.Surlysomething has ascended what used to be the highest level.Surlysomething has ascended what used to be the highest level.Surlysomething has ascended what used to be the highest level.Surlysomething has ascended what used to be the highest level.Surlysomething has ascended what used to be the highest level.Surlysomething has ascended what used to be the highest level.Surlysomething has ascended what used to be the highest level.Surlysomething has ascended what used to be the highest level.
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Originally Posted by LeoGibson View Post
Heh, no teasing here, it's actually probably far from sexy as I just wander out and stand under a ceiling fan and cool off because I take scalding hot showers for some reason. Or if it is dark and winter time, go stand outside in my backyard.

Hope you get to feeling better. I offer no remedies, I just usually bitch at people grumpily until I feel better.
Thanks, LG. Lots of sleeping and lazing about.
I don't like the possibility of passing it on so I try to keep a low profile until it's gone.

If you ever feel like sharing a link to that video though, hit me up. Haha.

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