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Old 12-30-2013, 11:32 AM   #1376
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Screw everyone else, life's too short, girl.

Enjoy him and have fun!




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Originally Posted by FatAndProud View Post
I've been seeing/sleeping with a 51yo man for almost two months. He has told a few people about me...because he says he wants to live with me in May (we have a blast together). I haven't told anyone about him - it makes him feel like I'm ashamed of him and I'm not. I just know everyone will try to talk me out of being with him because he loves me fat lol
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Old 12-30-2013, 11:35 AM   #1377
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Originally Posted by FatAndProud View Post
I've been seeing/sleeping with a 51yo man for almost two months. He has told a few people about me...because he says he wants to live with me in May (we have a blast together). I haven't told anyone about him - it makes him feel like I'm ashamed of him and I'm not. I just know everyone will try to talk me out of being with him because he loves me fat lol
Do whatever makes YOU happy, screw everyone else.
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Old 12-30-2013, 12:22 PM   #1378
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Originally Posted by FatAndProud View Post
I've been seeing/sleeping with a 51yo man for almost two months. He has told a few people about me...because he says he wants to live with me in May (we have a blast together). I haven't told anyone about him - it makes him feel like I'm ashamed of him and I'm not. I just know everyone will try to talk me out of being with him because he loves me fat lol
My 26 year old niece married a 68 year old man and they are awesome together. If they're not feeding you, fucking you, or paying your bills, then their opinion is of no consequence. Enjoy life on your terms, not on anyone else's.
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Old 12-30-2013, 02:40 PM   #1379
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Thank you guys. I know the age thing will be an issue for my parents and stuff. But you're right. It's what I want. He makes me so very happy without trying. That tells me this is the man for me. It's beautiful and I know my family will shit on my parade lol
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Old 12-30-2013, 02:41 PM   #1380
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FatAndProud View Post
Thank you guys. I know the age thing will be an issue for my parents and stuff. But you're right. It's what I want. He makes me so very happy without trying. That tells me this is the man for me. It's beautiful and I know my family will shit on my parade lol
Who said your family was invited to your parade?
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Old 12-30-2013, 02:45 PM   #1381
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Who said your family was invited to your parade?
Especially if they're shitting on it. Never invite people to your parade if they're just gonna make a horrible (none fun) mess.
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Old 12-30-2013, 02:52 PM   #1382
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Originally Posted by FatAndProud View Post
I just know everyone will try to talk me out of being with him because he loves me fat lol
If he makes you happy, don't let anyone rain on your parade. Best of luck to the both of you!! xo
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Old 12-30-2013, 04:31 PM   #1383
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I used to think my family would hate the idea of me dating older. But after seeing a small handful of older men, and seeing men around my age, they're much happier to see me with someone older. Which they never thought would happen. I think a lot of it had to do with how the older men made me feel more than anything. So if your family truly loves you and wants your happiness, they'll come around. Definitely.
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Old 12-30-2013, 06:12 PM   #1384
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FatAndProud View Post
I've been seeing/sleeping with a 51yo man for almost two months. He has told a few people about me...because he says he wants to live with me in May (we have a blast together). I haven't told anyone about him - it makes him feel like I'm ashamed of him and I'm not. I just know everyone will try to talk me out of being with him because he loves me fat lol

I know where your coming from my ex was like 42 i was 25 at the time. We got looks and stuff but you have to do what makes you happy. Those who mind dont matter those who matter don't mind. If he makes you happy and you guys are happy together i say go for it.
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Old 12-30-2013, 07:13 PM   #1385
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Discuss it with your parents. When you hide something, it looks like there is a problem. I'd suggest that you approach it from the direction of you met someone you really like, have xyz in common, and are having a fun time dating. No big deal.

Don't apologize, but don't get your stubborn on Be prepared to listen to them and give them plenty of time to have their say even if you disagree with what they are saying. Remember, you are springing it on them out of the blue. Remain calm and reasonable. How you deal with this will set the stage for how you introduce relationships to them in the future and where you draw the line on their input.

By the way, you don't have any obligation to introduce him to your parents. I certainly talk about who I'm dating with my parents because they are part of my life, but I don't do introductions unless it's at the point of us living together or spending holidays together, etc. I am the person in the relationship, not my family or friends. I don't need permission or approval.


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Originally Posted by FatAndProud View Post
I've been seeing/sleeping with a 51yo man for almost two months. He has told a few people about me...because he says he wants to live with me in May (we have a blast together). I haven't told anyone about him - it makes him feel like I'm ashamed of him and I'm not. I just know everyone will try to talk me out of being with him because he loves me fat lol
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Old 12-30-2013, 09:19 PM   #1386
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Discuss it with your parents. When you hide something, it looks like there is a problem. I'd suggest that you approach it from the direction of you met someone you really like, have xyz in common, and are having a fun time dating. No big deal.

Don't apologize, but don't get your stubborn on Be prepared to listen to them and give them plenty of time to have their say even if you disagree with what they are saying. Remember, you are springing it on them out of the blue. Remain calm and reasonable. How you deal with this will set the stage for how you introduce relationships to them in the future and where you draw the line on their input.

By the way, you don't have any obligation to introduce him to your parents. I certainly talk about who I'm dating with my parents because they are part of my life, but I don't do introductions unless it's at the point of us living together or spending holidays together, etc. I am the person in the relationship, not my family or friends. I don't need permission or approval.
I agree with this ^^^. Every single word.
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Old 12-30-2013, 09:57 PM   #1387
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I'm worried about telling them I met him through an SSBBW dating site. I'm worried about telling them his age. Are these things I really have to disclose? They will ask these things. They will ask what he does for a living. They are parents lol I think I've proved my maturity to my parents, but they still treat me as I'm 10. I just turned 25 and I've always been a pragmatic woman. This is the most spontaneous and adventurous thing I have done and I love it. I love every single moment I spend with this man. We smile like dorks every time we're around each other. He calls me just to hear my voice and it makes me want to faint.

He's 51. I'm 25. Can I not love a man twice my age? I want to ask him what I have to offer him because I don't want his friends and ex wife to think I'm using him because I'm not and I've made it clear. There's just a lot of things. He's very adamant about his end. He says I've nothing to worry about....and that's why I like him so much. To feel so relaxed with someone...it's amazing. I can't say these things to my mom and dad. They're old, strict, and nosey. My dad reads my text messages if I leave my phone on the counter. My parents always ask where I'm going. It's getting tough.

He wants to see me over New Years and into Jan 5. I can't think of anymore lies to tell everyone why I'm going to be gone lol He is very patient with me. Bless him. I feel like a closeted FA and I understand, now. It's so silly.
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Old 12-30-2013, 10:14 PM   #1388
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I'm worried about telling them I met him through an SSBBW dating site. I'm worried about telling them his age. Are these things I really have to disclose? They will ask these things. They will ask what he does for a living. They are parents lol I think I've proved my maturity to my parents, but they still treat me as I'm 10. I just turned 25 and I've always been a pragmatic woman. This is the most spontaneous and adventurous thing I have done and I love it. I love every single moment I spend with this man. We smile like dorks every time we're around each other. He calls me just to hear my voice and it makes me want to faint.

He's 51. I'm 25. Can I not love a man twice my age? I want to ask him what I have to offer him because I don't want his friends and ex wife to think I'm using him because I'm not and I've made it clear. There's just a lot of things. He's very adamant about his end. He says I've nothing to worry about....and that's why I like him so much. To feel so relaxed with someone...it's amazing. I can't say these things to my mom and dad. They're old, strict, and nosey. My dad reads my text messages if I leave my phone on the counter. My parents always ask where I'm going. It's getting tough.

He wants to see me over New Years and into Jan 5. I can't think of anymore lies to tell everyone why I'm going to be gone lol He is very patient with me. Bless him. I feel like a closeted FA and I understand, now. It's so silly.
Okay, you need to set some boundaries and stick to them. Your parents may love you and be concerned for you but reading your texts at your age (you're not 13) is way out of line. Most parents are nosy. Divert, deflect, whatever if you don't feel comfortable answering or not answering.

As far as how you met, tell them it was through friends. We're all friends, right? If they ask which friends, tell them they don't know them. Your parents made their own dating decisions without your input. You value theirs to a degree but when it comes to your own love life, unless you're feeling red flags when it comes to between you and him, it's not their business. It isn't, no matter how much they insist.

You are responsible for your own happiness, now, voyager.
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Old 12-30-2013, 10:23 PM   #1389
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I love you (and everyone else that is helping me). Thank you so much. I haven't even said anything to my BFF. I hinted to her that I love older men and that I'm gross....and she giggled and said "you're fine". I want to tell her so bad because I know she will be supportive once she realizes how happy I am. Gaaaaah lol Boundaries. Voyager to star command. I need backup.

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Okay, you need to set some boundaries and stick to them. Your parents may love you and be concerned for you but reading your texts at your age (you're not 13) is way out of line. Most parents are nosy. Divert, deflect, whatever if you don't feel comfortable answering or not answering.

As far as how you met, tell them it was through friends. We're all friends, right? If they ask which friends, tell them they don't know them. Your parents made their own dating decisions without your input. You value theirs to a degree but when it comes to your own love life, unless you're feeling red flags when it comes to between you and him, it's not their business. It isn't, no matter how much they insist.

You are responsible for your own happiness, now, voyager.
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Old 12-30-2013, 11:59 PM   #1390
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I'm 24 and my mom will check out all my pics, texts, and any other kind of messages I leave up on my phone if unattended. She doesn't say anything though. I've always been weird and stuff. She kinda laughs it off if there's a "sexy" PIC or some perv message. Only thing is that she has to let me do the same to her. So she does it less. Lol.

I agree with saying you met through friends. I can understand the fear of really being open about him. But anyone who really matters will see you glowing when you do talk about him, and they'll realise its the right thing for you.
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Old 12-31-2013, 02:20 AM   #1391
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Originally Posted by FatAndProud View Post
I'm worried about telling them I met him through an SSBBW dating site. I'm worried about telling them his age. Are these things I really have to disclose? They will ask these things. They will ask what he does for a living. They are parents lol I think I've proved my maturity to my parents, but they still treat me as I'm 10. I just turned 25 and I've always been a pragmatic woman. This is the most spontaneous and adventurous thing I have done and I love it. I love every single moment I spend with this man. We smile like dorks every time we're around each other. He calls me just to hear my voice and it makes me want to faint.

He's 51. I'm 25. Can I not love a man twice my age? I want to ask him what I have to offer him because I don't want his friends and ex wife to think I'm using him because I'm not and I've made it clear. There's just a lot of things. He's very adamant about his end. He says I've nothing to worry about....and that's why I like him so much. To feel so relaxed with someone...it's amazing. I can't say these things to my mom and dad. They're old, strict, and nosey. My dad reads my text messages if I leave my phone on the counter. My parents always ask where I'm going. It's getting tough.

He wants to see me over New Years and into Jan 5. I can't think of anymore lies to tell everyone why I'm going to be gone lol He is very patient with me. Bless him. I feel like a closeted FA and I understand, now. It's so silly.
Your family has been raining on you for a long time. You don't need to offer anything to him but your love (not to mention your college degree, your thrist for knowledge, sense of adventure, etc) You give us old guys hope.
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Old 12-31-2013, 05:40 AM   #1392
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He's 51. I'm 25. Can I not love a man twice my age?
Love is not about age or numbers...it's about feelings and emotions...which you already know! The love you feel for this man shines through in your words...he sounds like a keeper. If my son was in your shoes, I'd be tickled that he found someone who made him that happy! It wouldn't matter to me what the age difference was.

This should not be a stressful time for you. Enjoy each other and don't let anyone take that away from you or make you feel bad about it. ((hugs))
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Old 12-31-2013, 06:54 AM   #1393
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I had an awesome time with a man twice my age. We met through mutual friends when he was in town for a few weeks. We had so much fun! He treated me to dinner a few times, I showed him the sights, we had hot sex. And we remained friends after he went on his way. Now every time he's passing through my part of the country, we try to meet up.

Gosh, older men are just SO SEXY.
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Old 12-31-2013, 07:22 AM   #1394
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I only feel truly satisfied (sexually and emotionally) with a man at least 10 years older than me. My longest relationships were with men that were 14+ years older. I don't care what people think, I was/am happy with my preferences.
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Old 12-31-2013, 07:42 AM   #1395
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Originally Posted by FatAndProud View Post
I'm worried about telling them I met him through an SSBBW dating site. I'm worried about telling them his age. Are these things I really have to disclose? They will ask these things. They will ask what he does for a living. They are parents lol
I totally agree that there are limits that probably need to be 'negotiated' (that is to say, that you set, they push against, and maybe you adjust a little bit).

- Just say you met on-line. I doubt they care about the exact site, and there are so many these days. If they do probe, I'd suggest drawing a boundary line, perhaps by saying "Why, you looking for a good site to find a hot date?" If they ask why you won't say, just say "It isn't a huge secret, but really it isn't really any of your business. The important thing is that I met him, and I'm really happy I did--can we focus on that?"

On his age, well, that you can't conceal. Totally aside from any concern your parents may have with him being twice your age, please give them a bit of sympathy for having to negotiate the territory of "How exactly do we treat our daughter's boyfriend, when he is closer to our age? Do we treat him as our peer, or our daughter's peer?" That is something you may want to think about too, and even talk over with him. If you can set some expectations that may make getting through the worst of the awkward phase easier.

Or to put it a whole different way, you'll have to take on a slightly different role in your life--it happens with any long term relationship but probably a bit more with this one--where you need to make it clear that you are in an adult space, and they need to respect that. Depending on what your parents went through, you can always play the "So, when you were dating each other, would you have wanted your parents doing X, Y, or Z?"

Good luck, making this transition can be awkward, but in the end it is for the complete best, because it gives you space for
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Old 12-31-2013, 07:48 AM   #1396
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Im sure glad my Dad doesnt ask questions he doesnt want to hear me answer. "Where'd you go last night?" If I say my best friend's house, he asks if we had fun. If I say my "other" friend's house... he just goes back to reading the paper. hahahaha
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Old 12-31-2013, 03:24 PM   #1397
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I slept next to someone naked for the first time in months and it was fantastic. New Year's Eve seems to have that in the cards as well. I don't know if sexy time will be had, but I don't really care. I just want to hang out with her naked some more.
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Old 12-31-2013, 03:31 PM   #1398
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I slept next to someone naked for the first time in months and it was fantastic. New Year's Eve seems to have that in the cards as well. I don't know if sexy time will be had, but I don't really care. I just want to hang out with her naked some more.
1) You've got it bad (and this is no bad thing....)

2) Much as I love seeing these updates, I wonder if she'd like this much info being shared publicly? I mean, if things go well, she may eventually meet some other posters here because that seems to be part of how you roll (whereas for many other people, partners can be forever completely anonymous, so share away). Maybe she'd be totally cool with it, but not everyone is as comfortable with dating the entire board as you are (I'm really not trying to tell you what to share and what not, just double checking that you've thought this through)
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Old 12-31-2013, 05:20 PM   #1399
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Gosh, older men are just SO SEXY.

I second that! Older men know how to treat a woman on an emotional level as well as a physical one. In my experience they have been more sensual, passionate, and satisfying.
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Old 01-01-2014, 06:43 AM   #1400
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Wanted to start the year off with a bang, but instead started it off with a BOB.
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