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Old 04-07-2009, 04:23 PM   #26
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Originally Posted by Ben from England View Post
She also loved the sound of the term 'Chubby Chaser' and repeated it in song for about three hours after she heard my Dad say it (I never use the term FA or anything to describe myself to people outside the community, it's a bit subculture-y).
OTM, though i try to avoid using eff ay whenever possible and i hate, hate saying bee bee dubbayou
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Old 04-07-2009, 04:37 PM   #27
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On another matter. Back in early 2005 (for a short while) my wife (Josalynn) and I moved to Arkansas and we lived with my Mom ... and so did my sis (and her girlfriend.)

I know, kinda odd living arrangements.

But this was only temporary, as Josalynn and I had only been married since October 25th 2003 and we were working and helping out financially, plus my Mom had missed me and my sis (her kids.) I had just moved away from North Carolina.

Anyway, my Mom got to see firsthand how we got along and we did a lot of things together. So this (I think) was maybe my Mom's glimpse, including my sis ... into seeing that I really loved this woman and that it wasn't a phase or whatever.

It's always hard to tell what people think. But I keep on doing and let actions kinda speak for themselves.

Oh yeah and I also have never thought of myself in terms of FA and my wife BBW either.
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Old 04-07-2009, 05:20 PM   #28
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Originally Posted by BothGunsBlazing View Post
I had many days when my mother would walk into the room and I'd be looking at pictures of fat chicks .. I'd immediately shut the monitor off and spin around 100 miles and hour and scream

SO, HOW'RE YOU TODAY LATELY? CAN WE TALK ABOUT THIS LATER? I AM REALLY BUSY. I'M REALLY DEALING WITH SOME STUFF LATELY. THIS IS IMPORTANT. CAN I JUST HAVE A FEW MINUTES AND I'M LOGGING OFF. OH MY GOD, IF YOU JUST LEAVE THE ROOM FOR A FEW MINUTES I WILL LOG OFF!!!!!
Justin. I know it wasn't funny at the time, but please pardon me for laughing hysterically now. Too funny.
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Old 04-07-2009, 05:48 PM   #29
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oh and I didn't have Firefox back in the day, so no tabbed windows, so nothing like trying to rapidly close Internet Explorer windows and have it say NOT RESPONDING while you click furiously on the x. CLOSE GODDAMN YOU, CLOSE!!!
Oh man.

When I was like 14, we had the PC in the living room. I was looking at pics one night, and my Dad walks in. I got another window open and click it to the front instantly. If I try and close incriminating picture window now, it'll come to the front. I do the whole spin round 100 miles an hour routine, here is what followed:

'How's it going, Dad?'
'I need to use the internet.'
He stands there looking at the screen, waiting.
I am dying inside.
'Umm, hey Dad, I think the clock on the fireplace is broken'.
He looks at me suspiciously.
'No, it's not.'
'I'm pretty sure it is.'
He keeps eyeing me. He turns to look at the clock. I close the window. He turns back.
'No, it's not.'
'No? Oh. Well, I'm done. Have a nice night, Dad.'
I pat him on the back and leave the room.
My Dad shakes his head.

Worse was the time I was watching some clip and my aunt Debbie comes round. I loose interest in the porn and head downstairs to say hi. I get drawn into some long conversation. A hour or so later she says she needs to go up and check her email. As she's climbing the stairs I remember I hadn't closed media player. She literally screamed. I wasn't out of the closet in my early teens because of some strength or character or anything. I was just a moron.

Last edited by Ben from England; 04-07-2009 at 05:50 PM.
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Old 04-07-2009, 06:14 PM   #30
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Originally Posted by BothGunsBlazing View Post
I had many days when my mother would walk into the room and I'd be looking at pictures of fat chicks .. I'd immediately shut the monitor off and spin around 100 miles and hour and scream

SO, HOW'RE YOU TODAY LATELY? CAN WE TALK ABOUT THIS LATER? I AM REALLY BUSY. I'M REALLY DEALING WITH SOME STUFF LATELY. THIS IS IMPORTANT. CAN I JUST HAVE A FEW MINUTES AND I'M LOGGING OFF. OH MY GOD, IF YOU JUST LEAVE THE ROOM FOR A FEW MINUTES I WILL LOG OFF!!!!!
This is SO me.
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Old 04-08-2009, 01:58 AM   #31
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For those who've had trouble telling their parents, I'd be very interested in learning whether your mother or father reacted in a worse manner. It seems like I hear more stories about mothers being horrified by their sons' orientation, and my theory is that it's a by-product of the female tendency to obsess about weight, and to live in dire fear of becoming fat. Sort of like, "I've spent my entire life trying NOT to be fat, and my son goes out and seeks out fat girls?? Preposterous!", that kind of amazed/outraged reaction. Not to say that men don't have a similar phenomenon, but I do think the numbers are skewed more towards women.
Yup, well i 'gay came out' to my parents at about 15 and my mum said (amongst a lot of other things) 'thats disgusting'.. Then when i was older my mum was saying something pretty disparaging about fat people and i told her not to and that i prefered big women.. she said 'thats disgusting' ..so i didnt see her for a while.. she actually apologised for that one though..

Most of my freinds dont mention the fact to me every time they see me, they will call me or txt me and say 'oh theres a hot fat woman on tv' and stuff like that.. I do have one friend who REALLY anoys me.. She is fat herself, so maby this has something to do with it, i'm not sure..Everytime she sees me she makes some comment about me liking big women.. EVERY TIME!! I have known her for about 8 years and she has known all that time!! Its starting to do my head in... It reminds me of a giggling teen guy constantly going on about lesbians! lmao.. hmm maby i should just sit her down and tell her that Fa's arn't just for her amusement and that we are people too!
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Old 04-08-2009, 02:05 AM   #32
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Originally Posted by BothGunsBlazing View Post
I had many days when my mother would walk into the room and I'd be looking at pictures of fat chicks .. I'd immediately shut the monitor off and spin around 100 miles and hour and scream

SO, HOW'RE YOU TODAY LATELY? CAN WE TALK ABOUT THIS LATER? I AM REALLY BUSY. I'M REALLY DEALING WITH SOME STUFF LATELY. THIS IS IMPORTANT. CAN I JUST HAVE A FEW MINUTES AND I'M LOGGING OFF. OH MY GOD, IF YOU JUST LEAVE THE ROOM FOR A FEW MINUTES I WILL LOG OFF!!!!!

All the while I'd have my hands gripped into the side of the armrests so tight I could probably rip them off and I'd dig the heels of my feet into the ground so hard that she'd literally have to kill me to move me from this position and hit that monitor back on.

I was really really sketchy.

oh and I didn't have Firefox back in the day, so no tabbed windows, so nothing like trying to rapidly close Internet Explorer windows and have it say NOT RESPONDING while you click furiously on the x. CLOSE GODDAMN YOU, CLOSE!!!
I didnt really know how computers worked back in the day..but there was about 6 months when i had to move back to my parents and i was about 21 and my wee brother was about 16, and my parents had just got internet. So i had a wee look..erm etc at like stuff n shit.. My wee brother came into my room and said 'can you stop clogging up the computer with pictures of fat women please'. GAK! I learned that day the importance of history deleting. Plus pretty soon after i moved out again, got my own computer and clogged it up anyway i wanted!
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Old 04-08-2009, 06:58 AM   #33
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Anyway, my Mom got to see firsthand how we got along and we did a lot of things together. So this (I think) was maybe my Mom's glimpse, including my sis ... into seeing that I really loved this woman and that it wasn't a phase or whatever.
My mother had my doubts about my wife at the beginning, no question. However about a year after we got married she had a few month work placement in their city, and lived with them. When my Mom got to know my wife better, and see how she really was, she became one of her biggest supporters. As I've said a lot lately, show >> tell.
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Old 04-08-2009, 04:39 PM   #34
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I don't really talk about my sexuality with my anyone, I find it awkward. I mostly just bring people home and let my friends and family make their own assumptions. I'm pretty sure they know what my likes and dislikes are from seeing the type of dudes I bring home (usually fat guys).
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Old 04-08-2009, 05:25 PM   #35
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My story has been told in other parts of the forums here, so I'll give the condensed version.

1997. I had a girlfriend move in with me who was coming out of several abusive relationships. She got into therapy, and along with that came Prozac and Welbutrin, and a slew of other anti anxiety medications. Within a year, she put on well over 100 pounds, and I knew I loved it. I had always been a FA, but it wasn't a deal breaker if I met a thin(ner) girl, as I find a lot of different women attractive. The weight gain thingy was a real turn on for me.

Then I got a desktop computer, and began a journey to understand why I prefer what I prefer. I found Dimensions, and a few other places, and started asking a lot of questions, to girls as well as guys.

The girl I was living with went on my computer, and saw the links to all the websites I was going to. She was furious.

She hated the way she looked. Most people who know me today know I'm a card carrying FA, and I fess up to it every chance I get. I'm like Jesus preaching to the crowd.

That night, however, was rough. She cried as I related my quest for knowledge about my attraction to fat women. She cried more when I told her that I got turned on going to the store to buy her bigger clothes to accomodate her growth. She cried when I told her that I enjoyed watching her polish off quarts of ice cream. What made her cry most was when I showed her pics of 400 and 500 pound women, and telling her that I was aroused by them, and I still didn't know why. I felt relieved, yet I felt very scummy at the same time, as if I made her gain (which I didn't), so I wasn't allowed to enjoy it.

She was the hardest person to tell.

She moved out about a month later, lost weight, moved back in, gained all of her weight back, went into therapy, and moved out for good several months later.

Don't know what ever happened to her, but I'm sure she's thin again today.
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Old 04-08-2009, 06:43 PM   #36
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I think this is a fantastic thread.. i know a few FA's that could really benefit from these stories..

it takes a lot of courage to tell them.. and even more so to "come out"..

thanks for making it easier for the next person and sharing such personal experiences
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Old 04-08-2009, 08:51 PM   #37
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About a year after I graduated I broke up with my girlfriend who to me was fairly small at size 16. I had found dimensions a couple of years before and I knew what I liked. I made a little agreement with myself to only date fat women.

So while I never openly told my parents or friends I think anyone with a braincell could figure things out. My Best Friend has always known and just doen't get me but he tolerates me fine.

Most folks I don't bother to tell.
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Old 04-08-2009, 09:03 PM   #38
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Eh...once I decided to just come out and be open about what I like (which mainly came from the frustration of being with a lot of guys I wasn't attracted to), I found it wasn't particularly hard to tell most people. My girl friends are either indifferent or find it slightly amusing, my guy friends think it's really really cool for some reason, and both sets of friends have tried to set me up with any and all fat guy friends of theirs, so I guess it all works out.
The absolute hardest person to tell though, was my sister, who is about as close in age to me as one can get without being a twin, and we usually are mistaken for twins. However, we really couldn't be more different personality wise and in what we find attractive, and even though she's my best friend, she's extremely fat-phobic, and so opening up to her about being interested in fat guys was really hard. I mainly just let her figure it out for herself, and of course she picked it up from conversations with our mutual friends. And I have to say, my worries about opening up to her were not unfounded, as she usually never lets an opportunity to tell me she thinks I'm a freak pass by. She is of the general opinion that I'm cheating myself by "not doing better" and claims that I'm "slumming" with fat guys, which she has told some guys I've been interested in to their faces, although I didn't find that out until recently. Needless to say, that caused a series of fights between us. Last week she was giving me a lot of crap for it again, until her boyfriend (who has been asked to be a male model several times in the past) of all people came to my defense and basically told her that he thinks it's awesome and that she should get off my case, which she actually has for the most part.
So that's my experience, sorry it was super long-winded but the basic point is that it kind of sucks to have super non-supportive family members, but it's really awesome having super-supportive friends!
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Old 04-08-2009, 09:33 PM   #39
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Originally Posted by wrestlingguy View Post
My story has been told in other parts of the forums here, so I'll give the condensed version.

1997. I had a girlfriend move in with me who was coming out of several abusive relationships. She got into therapy, and along with that came Prozac and Welbutrin, and a slew of other anti anxiety medications. Within a year, she put on well over 100 pounds, and I knew I loved it. I had always been a FA, but it wasn't a deal breaker if I met a thin(ner) girl, as I find a lot of different women attractive. The weight gain thingy was a real turn on for me.

Then I got a desktop computer, and began a journey to understand why I prefer what I prefer. I found Dimensions, and a few other places, and started asking a lot of questions, to girls as well as guys.

The girl I was living with went on my computer, and saw the links to all the websites I was going to. She was furious.

She hated the way she looked. Most people who know me today know I'm a card carrying FA, and I fess up to it every chance I get. I'm like Jesus preaching to the crowd.

That night, however, was rough. She cried as I related my quest for knowledge about my attraction to fat women. She cried more when I told her that I got turned on going to the store to buy her bigger clothes to accomodate her growth. She cried when I told her that I enjoyed watching her polish off quarts of ice cream. What made her cry most was when I showed her pics of 400 and 500 pound women, and telling her that I was aroused by them, and I still didn't know why. I felt relieved, yet I felt very scummy at the same time, as if I made her gain (which I didn't), so I wasn't allowed to enjoy it.

She was the hardest person to tell.

She moved out about a month later, lost weight, moved back in, gained all of her weight back, went into therapy, and moved out for good several months later.

Don't know what ever happened to her, but I'm sure she's thin again today.
i hope she's thin if she dealt with her body that poorly
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Old 04-08-2009, 09:37 PM   #40
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For those who've had trouble telling their parents, I'd be very interested in learning whether your mother or father reacted in a worse manner. It seems like I hear more stories about mothers being horrified by their sons' orientation, and my theory is that it's a by-product of the female tendency to obsess about weight, and to live in dire fear of becoming fat. Sort of like, "I've spent my entire life trying NOT to be fat, and my son goes out and seeks out fat girls?? Preposterous!", that kind of amazed/outraged reaction. Not to say that men don't have a similar phenomenon, but I do think the numbers are skewed more towards women.
this should be a poll and will in a minute
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Old 04-08-2009, 09:38 PM   #41
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The first person I told was my older sister who ironicly I don,t talk to anymore. Because I was very shy I never realy made any kind of anoucement or anything. Later when I went into the army I had a few false starts with girls. But peer pressure and shyness kept me from having many dates. So that said Probably 1 my army buddies 2 my dad who is kind of a buly (verbaly).
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Old 04-08-2009, 10:23 PM   #42
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I don't have a "hardest" person story, but the easiest was definitely my brother.

Basically, for the first couple years that I had internet access I was all careful and stealthy and hid my tracks reasonably well. Had my own password-protected folder and everything - for school work, of course.

Then over time I started getting lazy, and stopped deleting the links, and kinda forgot to save pictures to the protected file.

Enter my brother.

One day we're driving home, and he says something like, OK, I have to ask, point blank, do you like fat chicks? I found some pictures that I *know* I didn't download...

Me: Well... yes. Always have.

Brother: Heh, whatever rocks your boat.

And that was that. No teasing, nothing. It helps that I have an awesome brother who's totally supportive, but still, I thought that was cool.
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Old 04-09-2009, 12:00 PM   #43
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When I was young my mother said to me: You can also take a fat girl!
She knew I had an eye on a blond fat girl who worked in a drugstore.

Once I told my mother that I am going to a pub. She asked me then: Are there fat women present? My answer was a "big grin".


I'm sure parents are not a reason to stay in the closet. In generally the know the orientation of their childs.

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Very interesting responses thus far. It would not have occurred to me that a fat person would have trouble hearing her partner was a FA, but once I thought about it, I realized that I would have had that very same reaction many years ago. So it probably has a lot to do with where the partner is in terms of accepting his/her fatness, etc.

For those who've had trouble telling their parents, I'd be very interested in learning whether your mother or father reacted in a worse manner. It seems like I hear more stories about mothers being horrified by their sons' orientation, and my theory is that it's a by-product of the female tendency to obsess about weight, and to live in dire fear of becoming fat. Sort of like, "I've spent my entire life trying NOT to be fat, and my son goes out and seeks out fat girls?? Preposterous!", that kind of amazed/outraged reaction. Not to say that men don't have a similar phenomenon, but I do think the numbers are skewed more towards women.
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Old 04-09-2009, 12:12 PM   #44
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I'm sure parents are not a reason to stay in the closet. In generally the know the orientation of their childs.
two comments:

1) I think that depends a lot on the family. I have no idea how mine would ever have picked up on my preferences, as I was almost never around them and women my age at the same time, and I never talked about that sort of thing at home, and I wasn't dating anyone. A lot of parents are not part of their kids' social lives, so may not have much of a clue.

2) Just because parents know doesn't mean that they will always accept or approve. It would be nice if they did, but not all parents are that accepting.
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Old 04-09-2009, 03:42 PM   #45
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For me, it's the only person I've really ever told. My wife, well, at the point I actually spilled the beans, my then girlfriend. We'd been going out for a hefty span of months. I could tell I really loved her, if you're in love you know what I'm talking about. The kind of stuff that fills you up, makes you feel like you could unload anything on this person and they'd kiss you and tell you they accept you no matter what. That sort of love. I was feeling that big time. We were laying in bed one night and I just held her and told her. Nothing as blunt as "I love fat girls" but I eased in slowly and told her that I had something of a fetish. I told her about this site and the huge cross section of people that came here. I told her how long I'd had these feelings. We talked for what seemed like forever. She accepts it and has grown to appreciate the fact I love women of all sizes, especially a woman her size. So no matter how much weight she gains of loses over the course of our life together she knows I'll always find her attractive no matter what.

I think a few of my closest friends have gathered I have a penchant for larger women. The guys guys I roomed with while going to college, still two very close friends, I think saw Dimensions and various other sites on my PC now and again.

That all being said, I've been lucky. I've never really been judged for it. I still keep things on the down low somewhat. Small town and everything. But if people ask me? I just tell them.
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Old 04-10-2009, 07:33 AM   #46
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Originally Posted by BothGunsBlazing View Post
Oddly enough, not so much my parents or any of my friends.

The hardest person to tell was this girl I was dating. It was pretty serious, well, as serious as I had been in at the time. It was when I was still coming to terms with how hardcore my FAness truly was.

I just couldn't get into her physically because she was thin. Basically, I've never had to do it again and I never will, but yeah, I had to end it because I felt I could never give her the physical attention she deserved. It was a terrible experience.
Oh I can totally understand this one. Except for me, I wasn't even aware of my complete FAness at the time, I just knew I was dating a great guy who was too thin for my tastes. I dated him from the end of high school, into the first year of college and I was young and stupid and I actually told him the problem was I thought he was too thin (Yes, I have been an insensitive ass in the past. See? We all have a learning curve) This lead to, as you can imagine, a horrible period of time with him trying some gaining and hating it, then us both dealing with the fact that he now knew I found him too thin. So we ended it. It was a mess.
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Old 04-13-2009, 01:17 PM   #47
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I don't really understand the concept of "having" to tell anyone, esp. one's parents. I guess I've always dated bigger girls, kind of starting with girls w/ big boobs in middle school, chubbies in high school, 200 college, 250-300 now, etc. I mean, they're not mentally retarded, so I assume they've figured it out, but why would we need to discuss it?
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Old 04-16-2009, 04:21 PM   #48
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I did not make an official announcement or have a talk with anyone. People observe. Some comment, some don't. If they say anything nasty or ignorant , I defend myself. If they can't respect it, they need to fuck off.
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Old 04-16-2009, 11:03 PM   #49
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I had many days when my mother would walk into the room and I'd be looking at pictures of fat chicks .. I'd immediately shut the monitor off and spin around 100 miles and hour and scream

SO, HOW'RE YOU TODAY LATELY? CAN WE TALK ABOUT THIS LATER? I AM REALLY BUSY. I'M REALLY DEALING WITH SOME STUFF LATELY. THIS IS IMPORTANT. CAN I JUST HAVE A FEW MINUTES AND I'M LOGGING OFF. OH MY GOD, IF YOU JUST LEAVE THE ROOM FOR A FEW MINUTES I WILL LOG OFF!!!!!

All the while I'd have my hands gripped into the side of the armrests so tight I could probably rip them off and I'd dig the heels of my feet into the ground so hard that she'd literally have to kill me to move me from this position and hit that monitor back on.

I was really really sketchy.

oh and I didn't have Firefox back in the day, so no tabbed windows, so nothing like trying to rapidly close Internet Explorer windows and have it say NOT RESPONDING while you click furiously on the x. CLOSE GODDAMN YOU, CLOSE!!!
Hahahaah. dude its funny that you mention this story beacuse just recently my dad walked in on me while i was looking at some vids and i had to quicly hit the Yahooo browser button to get off frm wat i was looking at but i made big mistake beacause i was logged in into my account and accidentaly hit the groups button he saw a pictrue and was like "wat the hell" so i scrambled and pushed the back button forgetting that i was previously veiwng a video with nude content of a ssbbw model so yea i pretty much set myself up for that one lol! So then my dad asked "you like fat women Russell" n i jussed mumbled something i dnt remember, but the next day he joked about it with my mom.So now both my parents know i like big women but i dont think they still fully understand just how big i like them so im still kinda scared to bring my first girlfreind home for them to meet beacuse i still dont really know how they will react to it.
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Old 04-17-2009, 02:24 PM   #50
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I understand this..its awful! Also, weirdly enough, i think it can be the hardest to actually tell fat people you are dating that you are an Fa. Well for me anyway.. I sort of have to build up to it..like mention lots of fat famous people i like, then make wee comments like 'oh i never fancy skinny people'.. then i force them to whore their arses in dimensions! In all seriousness though..i think fat people are the hardest to tell because i have had some pretty shocking responses from fat people in the past.
I agree that the potential datee is usually the one that is either the hardest to tell or that needs told in the first place. Everyone else in my world knows already that I love fat girls. They know and its not really an issue most of the time.

Its awkward though in meeting a potential date who is looking at the situation through suspicious eyes and past experiences to let her know that you are actually honestly interested in her because she IS fat AND sexy and not for some other less gentlemanly reason.

Many have never heard the term FA and have no clue what it means to have found one. It is very awkward to not only find a way to say it but to have to in the first place. And, how do you say it without sounding creepy?
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