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#26 |
Oasis is JUST A BAND.
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Lynnwood, WA
Posts: 1,048
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Alright, just when I thought it might be a good idea to take Theresa to a bash, I see this...
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-more2adore- instant fratification is where you drink one PBR and feel the sudden urge to toilet paper peoples' houses and call women "babe" |
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#27 |
Wig Snatcher
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 9,795
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The bashes are a bit different. They are much more social oriented because they last the weekend, people hang out, socialize, make friends, play board games, travel together, etc. The Saturday night singles disco party is where most of the drama happens, yet I was able to make lasting friends there and so fourth despite all this, the main reason I kept going. It's what you make of it.
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Expecting the world to treat you kindly because you are a good person is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian.
"...If the only pain you recognize as valid is your own, of course you'll have trouble identifying it when you see it in other people. That's the trouble with narcissism. It makes you really inadequate and boring." Have you hugged a fat girl today? @~;~~ |
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#28 | |
Bi-Coastal!!!
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: NH / CA
Posts: 665
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#29 |
yawn
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: sin city
Posts: 3,242
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Wow..what to say about this topic
Well when i first started posting i was very foward about liking bottom heavy guys, and now that i look back, i must have sounded highly creepy...lol. I forgot i was entering into a new social structure. I have not done that in so long I forgot what it is like to introduce myself. I lived in the same place since birth, most people either know me or at least know my last name (five older brothers and one older sister made way for me..lol), and most people know i love bhm/ssbhm. Plus i was lurking for years in the library section of this site way before the makeover and forgot I never introduced myself..hahahah. I guess i should go over in reintroduce myself. |
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#30 | |
Fat Don Draper
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: TX
Posts: 348
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Thankfully I've grown a lot in the years since then and find myself a happily married man able to look back and use those missteps to be a better person and husband.
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myundertaking.tumblr.com |
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#31 | |
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Northern Illinois
Posts: 612
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Some of what I was told by the big girls in high school was true, FAs are a bit different. What I found out later in talking to these girls was that to date a male that thought they were attractive because the were fat girls only lent credence to the fact that they were fat and most were going thru the fat = ugly phase of their lives. Ergo I only date ugly girls and thats just creepy. On the other hand of that is the clique aspect of high school and most of whom I admired and found attractive were trying hard to fit in with the "in" crowds or at least be aknowleged by them for a sense of normality. Since that wasn't me I got my self esteem battered severely. High school dating was more of a humbling experience to me than anything else so in finding Dimensions I never really had the kid in the candy store experience and never really had the fortitude to try to chat up many women. I had been verbally and figuratively slapped down and shot outta the saddle enough before reaching dimchat to learn the humility and respect needed to be here in this sometimes hostile environment which i can best describe as FA Mecca. I did however, being a social creature and very outgoing, jump right into the conversations on the chatscreen without reservation and gained a reputation there in that manner. I had no problem PMing several women to tell them how attractive I thought their picture was but only that. I watched and I learned quickly how trolls that went down the list got treated and did my best never to act in that manner. Late bloomers? Oh yeah I can see how that happens especially to FAs. Rollhandler |
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#32 |
♓ Fishy Pisces! ♓
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 2,282
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All up until high school, I went to a small private school. My grade had 33 kids in it from kindergarten through 8th grade. The biggest girl in the class by then end was maybe 140 lbs.
Got to high school, maybe 3 girls in the whole school of about 1400 really caught my eye in being both plus-sized and nerdy/gothy/wierdy enough, and they were all upper classmen. I eventually had a friend hook me up with a girl who was a pretty darn good match personality-wise but weighed as much as me. (125 lbs) Lasted a few months, and I ended things. Spent the next two years moping around like a dickbutt until I met my second (and current!) girlfriend who is deliciously chubby. I was very upfront about being an FA that time, but I don't think anything could have really prepared her. Lol. It's been over 3 years now. But yeah, that's all my dating experience. I'm 22. Late bloomer indeed. |
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#33 |
Yep, I am BACK!
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Southern Arizona
Posts: 2,973
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I am soo guilty of this!! when I got on DIMS and saw all the men and women who adore BBW, I lost my mind! Honestly! Too read all the threads about the men loving all the curves of a BBW. Loving all the details on a BBW's body. Its like a natural high for me to come on here to DIMS, and get to enjoy chatting with a whole community who are BBW and FA's. Its a utopia for me! I am definately the ""kid in a candy store" when I am on DIMS or at a BASH. I do flirt , alittle too much, alot of people say. But I get that "tingling" feelin in my tummy when i meet FA's in person! Even here on DIMS, I talk to, chat with, or PM with some men and it makes me just smile, Like a BIG smile. Its the feeling of complete happiness. And i just want to smoother all the FA's with hugs and kisses for hours!! Besides other things.
But I restrain myself, for many reasons. On the other things part haha! Anyways, getting off the subject here. Thats tat for me!
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:smitten::smitten::smitten:THERE IS NOTHING SEXIER THAN A MAN THAT LOVES BBW!!:smitten::smitten::smitten: From a friend : "its interesting. you seem to have a contentious love affair with sexual temptation...." |
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#34 |
vibeout
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 1,710
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I never really went down this path but I've seen so many guys that have and it generally works out poorly for them regarding their reputations. I have advised... and I would advise... any FA to be aware of the notion that people WILL and DO talk to eachother, especially in a relatively small community such as this one! Think about that before you engage in some 'finding my fat sexuality' experimentation on another person. How are they going to feel about it? In some cases its going to be fine, if that's whats mutually agreed upon? In others its going to lead to immense disappointment and anger.
I'd venture that the 'kid in the candy store' effect is yet another outcome of the late development of most FAs who often miss out on that stage in their teenage years. Once the floodgates open in the early 20s and beyond, then for some it seems like its a rush to make up for lost time? Its a thread for another forum but I wonder if the same effect might be true amongst BBWs upon discovery of their fat sexuality? ![]() |
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#35 | |
Wig Snatcher
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 9,795
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Expecting the world to treat you kindly because you are a good person is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian.
"...If the only pain you recognize as valid is your own, of course you'll have trouble identifying it when you see it in other people. That's the trouble with narcissism. It makes you really inadequate and boring." Have you hugged a fat girl today? @~;~~ |
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#36 | |
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 93
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Having said that I also think that an FA would do well to check out the dance scene before getting into a serious relationship with a SSBBW. FAs like everyone else needs to practice dating before getting serious. Others did that in High School and College whereas most FAs have to wait until they can find the scene as an adult. YMMV. |
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#37 |
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Scotland
Posts: 6,927
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I never got to be a kid in a Candy store with bbw's cause whenever i actually talked to a hot bbw i garbled a lot of pish and they would think i was retarded. I'm serious! Anyway..Now i have one beautiful bbw girlfriend and i feel like a kid in a 'sweet shop' every day anyway! *Hoping she reads this and my points go up
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#38 | |
Wig Snatcher
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 9,795
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And thank goodness for the crummy guys who do go to these things, you all ROCK too! Now when my skinny friends say, "Omg, men are such jerks!" I can now join in, "Right?!? Like the time I met this sleazebag from Stoughton......" instead of just sitting there thinking, "boo hoo, I wish her shitty guys would talk to me." I'm no longer an idiot. Thank you.
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Expecting the world to treat you kindly because you are a good person is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian.
"...If the only pain you recognize as valid is your own, of course you'll have trouble identifying it when you see it in other people. That's the trouble with narcissism. It makes you really inadequate and boring." Have you hugged a fat girl today? @~;~~ |
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#39 |
IXAMXDECADENCE
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Johannesburg, South Africa
Posts: 1,308
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I want to go to a bash sooooo badly! I want to be a total slut bag, wear next to no clothing, indiscriminately make out with whoever I want to, get drunk and high, have tons of sex, cry and bitch about people who upset me and then go home well satisfied LOL!
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"Happiness isn't enough! I demand euphoria!" http://fiercefotography.blogspot.com/ |
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#40 | |
Wig Snatcher
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 9,795
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Don't let THIS^^ happen to YOU. Stay as far away from bash life as possible. I was once like you. Sweet, innocent, beguiled by the lure of popularity, booze and common ground. That all changed when I discovered I too could be a gin soaked whore at a party where I was the sought after ideal. Awful.... TERRIBLE things happen when placed in an uncontrolled environment where dangers lurk in unseemly places. Flee! Save yourself! Before it's too late. ![]()
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Expecting the world to treat you kindly because you are a good person is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian.
"...If the only pain you recognize as valid is your own, of course you'll have trouble identifying it when you see it in other people. That's the trouble with narcissism. It makes you really inadequate and boring." Have you hugged a fat girl today? @~;~~ |
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#41 |
groups/347570880589/
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 3,993
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my plan was to destroy my reputation as quickly as possible and boom no expectations
worked |
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#42 |
Wig Snatcher
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 9,795
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I have a question for the FAs here. I've been staring at this screen here trying to figure out the best way to word it so I get my meaning across. I recall when I was in my late teens and early 20s I was pretty much out of the loop with the whole dating scene. Everybody was running back and fourth, who was sleeping with who, who hooked up, who got drunk, etc. Being able to observe all of this in such a detached manner I was able to form opinions on this behavior and decide what I disliked and what I felt was downright silly. Then when I entered in to the bbw scene I myself, as I'm sure many other bbws also, developed that "kid in a candy store" mentality also. Maybe not so much sexually but just in the liberty of being able to wear that cute low cut dress and be the belle of the ball in an environment where I knew it was going to be appreciated.
The downside of this is that it wasn't appreciated by everybody. There were women there who saw me as trashy or loose when I truly wasn't. I found myself being branded with a brush that I myself had used in the past. For me it seemed a bit more difficult to swallow because I felt it didn't really tell the whole story of me and who I am, if that makes any sense. Yeah so ok, clearly its a part of me or I wouldn't do it but it seemed just so inappropriate for me as compared to all the other trashy hoes I'd branded in the past. Afterall, *I* wasn't really a trashy hoe. I just play one on television and was giddy with the knowledge that I too could be a bad Bond girl at least for a moment. It's been an eye opener for me to imagine that maybe some FAs experience something similar? I just never thought that far in to it. I wonder how much of this transferrence plays into an FAs mentality when they find themselves thrust into the arena of the bbw follies? An FA friend of mine is so anxious about what people will say about him that he can't seem to get out of his own way at times. Do you find yourself mortified at the thought of being viewed through the same looking glass as that guy you knew that everyone talked about knowing that it's not really what you're about?
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Expecting the world to treat you kindly because you are a good person is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian.
"...If the only pain you recognize as valid is your own, of course you'll have trouble identifying it when you see it in other people. That's the trouble with narcissism. It makes you really inadequate and boring." Have you hugged a fat girl today? @~;~~ |
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#43 |
Speak No Evil
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Texas
Posts: 539
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#44 |
Wig Snatcher
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 9,795
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Ahh see? Now I feel bad for posting this here.
![]() I may use that forum anyway. Lemme think about it a minute or so. Otherwise, my apologies if my posts here are itchy. ![]()
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Expecting the world to treat you kindly because you are a good person is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian.
"...If the only pain you recognize as valid is your own, of course you'll have trouble identifying it when you see it in other people. That's the trouble with narcissism. It makes you really inadequate and boring." Have you hugged a fat girl today? @~;~~ |
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#45 | |
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Northern Illinois
Posts: 612
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I can truly see how going to a bash would be nerve wracking. I can also see that in a first time bash senario there can be wrong first impressions all around, some quite embarrasing and many mistakes made. Rollhandler |
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#46 | |
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Nyack, NY
Posts: 149
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But maybe I'm just falling into precisely the predicament detailed in this thread! Oh dear... |
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#47 | |
Join Date: May 2006
Location: atlanta
Posts: 7,580
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![]() its good to know things are getting better now because of places like dims where young FAs can get some of the earlier experiences before its late in the game. i feel bad that sometimes i expect FAs to act exactly like thier counterparts who are not. you expect them to "grow up" (not meant negatively) a whole lot faster than they should necessarily. its almost like forcing a 17 yr old into marriage to expect people without experiences to know their mind exactly and dedicate themselves to you fully even when they want to. at some point its just plain unfair. i know a lot of BBWs disagree. they say" well what about me? i haven't been able to have a lot of experiences either." they are exactly right. and thats why they should also have the time to do what you, me and other BBWs have done and will do--which is experiment. i think the key for FAs and BBWs is to just to be as honest as you can about where you are. then the person you are with won't be taken by surprise. its not the fact that an inexperienced person is going to look around thats the problem to most BBWs i think. they just don't want to get in too deep with someone in that place and get hurt. Last edited by superodalisque; 04-18-2009 at 11:48 AM. |
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#48 | |
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Northern Illinois
Posts: 612
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On your end if you are viewing someone elses material do you want to have that many names on your chat list and try to make time for them or not. can you humanly do this on an ongoing basis. etc. There are a number of board readers that frequent chat, some that merely lurk on one or the other and some that are only on the boards and some that are only chat. the logistics of what you mention are only possible on an insanely limited level if you think about it. In chat I feel comforable with myself and with the chatters but for some reason I feel exposed in situations such as these where some know me through my works and some through my words, and not only do I not know who they are by their faces, but which of these people like me for my works and words and which ones would I be best to avoid. How interesting it would be to see a really hot woman, wander over and introduce yourself to her for the first time and have her face turn to an expression of disgust as It registers to her that you were the guy who said, (fill in the blank) and totally offended her in a no turning back no explainations will be accepted kinda way. I realize that this probably not going to happen, I also know my luck. I will therefore worry until it simply doesnt happen and I get past the irrational fear and acclimate to the environment of the party. Until then I will be a nervous wreck. Rollhandler |
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#49 |
Wig Snatcher
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 9,795
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You will find that your presence on the board makes a much deeper impression than you anticipate. If you have a picture up somebody, possibly everybody will recognize you. People are so hung up on having everyone feel welcome at the events that we look for newcomers we recognize. While some are as shy as you are and will only look at you and smile others are not so inhibited. While you are still standing at the counter checking in to the hotel a voice in the distance will say, "Hey! Is that [Rollhandler/CCC]?" You turn around at hearing your name called and there's SoVerySoft, Nancygirl, Blackjack and another woman you don't recognize reclining in chairs in the lobby. They say, "Hey, how was the drive up? Glad you could make it, bla bla bla...." and your cherry is pretty much broken. You needn't go around handing out business cards on the board. It might surprise you to know that many people are looking forward to meeting you though they don't make a public declaration on the board.
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Expecting the world to treat you kindly because you are a good person is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian.
"...If the only pain you recognize as valid is your own, of course you'll have trouble identifying it when you see it in other people. That's the trouble with narcissism. It makes you really inadequate and boring." Have you hugged a fat girl today? @~;~~ |
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#50 | |
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Scotland
Posts: 6,927
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Ive never been to a fat party..not ever ![]() ![]() |
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