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Old 04-18-2009, 12:36 PM   #51
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Originally Posted by LillyBBBW View Post
You will find that your presence on the board makes a much deeper impression than you anticipate. If you have a picture up somebody, possibly everybody will recognize you. People are so hung up on having everyone feel welcome at the events that we look for newcomers we recognize. While some are as shy as you are and will only look at you and smile others are not so inhibited. While you are still standing at the counter checking in to the hotel a voice in the distance will say, "Hey! Is that [Rollhandler/CCC]?" You turn around at hearing your name called and there's SoVerySoft, Nancygirl, Blackjack and another woman you don't recognize reclining in chairs in the lobby. They say, "Hey, how was the drive up? Glad you could make it, bla bla bla...." and your cherry is pretty much broken. You needn't go around handing out business cards on the board. It might surprise you to know that many people are looking forward to meeting you though they don't make a public declaration on the board.
This in itself is part of the anxiety for me. Not having time to acclimate before being thrust into
OMG theres this wow sexy woman waving at me and i have to make a good first impression hows my breath, did i shave, is that my armpits i smell, i cant believe i thought i could get away with wearing this someplace without being caught out, Oh god dont get a hardon now in these pants, hows my hair, Do i know this persons name? omg i should know this person....why cant i think of this persons name....... A second or two later I say HI! and feel like i am going to pass out.


Of course once the introductions are passed around and the conversations start, things mellow out. This is just an example of how anxious "I" get and i know that I am not the only one. Given that, its easy to see how some get the wrong impressions at these social events of the people they thought they knew. People out of their element act differently as they work out their comfort levels and anxieties with meeting people socially in large group settings. Its also easy to see how some make fools of themselves for the same reasons.
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Old 04-18-2009, 12:44 PM   #52
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This in itself is part of the anxiety for me. Not having time to acclimate before being thrust into
OMG theres this wow sexy woman waving at me and i have to make a good first impression hows my breath, did i shave, is that my armpits i smell, i cant believe i thought i could get away with wearing this someplace without being caught out, Oh god dont get a hardon now in these pants, hows my hair, Do i know this persons name? omg i should know this person....why cant i think of this persons name....... A second or two later I say HI! and feel like i am going to pass out.


Of course once the introductions are passed around and the conversations start, things mellow out. This is just an example of how anxious "I" get and i know that I am not the only one. Given that, its easy to see how some get the wrong impressions at these social events of the people they thought they knew. People out of their element act differently as they work out their comfort levels and anxieties with meeting people socially in large group settings. Its also easy to see how some make fools of themselves for the same reasons.
Rollhandler
I think that's pretty much true of everyone though, women as well. We've all been there which is why we try to make people feel welcome and aren't put off when the person sputters, "errr, fine I guess," when we ask their name. Everyone is nervous meeting for the first time. It does no good to warn that we get spinach caught in our teeth too I suppose.
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Old 04-18-2009, 12:45 PM   #53
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Originally Posted by rollhandler View Post
This in itself is part of the anxiety for me. Not having time to acclimate before being thrust into
OMG theres this wow sexy woman waving at me and i have to make a good first impression hows my breath, did i shave, is that my armpits i smell, i cant believe i thought i could get away with wearing this someplace without being caught out, Oh god dont get a hardon now in these pants, hows my hair, Do i know this persons name? omg i should know this person....why cant i think of this persons name....... A second or two later I say HI! and feel like i am going to pass out.


Of course once the introductions are passed around and the conversations start, things mellow out. This is just an example of how anxious "I" get and i know that I am not the only one. Given that, its easy to see how some get the wrong impressions at these social events of the people they thought they knew. People out of their element act differently as they work out their comfort levels and anxieties with meeting people socially in large group settings. Its also easy to see how some make fools of themselves for the same reasons.
Rollhandler
I think if you chatted to some of the people you knew were going to the bashes before you went and told them how anxious you got they would understand..maby you could get to know each other a bit before you met and maby you could meet a couple of people for a drink before you actually went into a dance. I think if you know people know you are anxious ..it will make you less so..(if that makes sense). Most people are anxious at big gatherings anyway.. you wont be alone. x
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Old 04-21-2009, 04:29 AM   #54
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Don't let THIS^^ happen to YOU. Stay as far away from bash life as possible. I was once like you. Sweet, innocent, beguiled by the lure of popularity, booze and common ground. That all changed when I discovered I too could be a gin soaked whore at a party where I was the sought after ideal. Awful.... TERRIBLE things happen when placed in an uncontrolled environment where dangers lurk in unseemly places. Flee! Save yourself! Before it's too late.
*hugz* I appreciate the advice
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Old 04-21-2009, 08:32 AM   #55
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I have a question for the FAs here. I've been staring at this screen here trying to figure out the best way to word it so I get my meaning across. I recall when I was in my late teens and early 20s I was pretty much out of the loop with the whole dating scene. Everybody was running back and fourth, who was sleeping with who, who hooked up, who got drunk, etc. Being able to observe all of this in such a detached manner I was able to form opinions on this behavior and decide what I disliked and what I felt was downright silly. Then when I entered in to the bbw scene I myself, as I'm sure many other bbws also, developed that "kid in a candy store" mentality also. Maybe not so much sexually but just in the liberty of being able to wear that cute low cut dress and be the belle of the ball in an environment where I knew it was going to be appreciated.

The downside of this is that it wasn't appreciated by everybody. There were women there who saw me as trashy or loose when I truly wasn't. I found myself being branded with a brush that I myself had used in the past. For me it seemed a bit more difficult to swallow because I felt it didn't really tell the whole story of me and who I am, if that makes any sense. Yeah so ok, clearly its a part of me or I wouldn't do it but it seemed just so inappropriate for me as compared to all the other trashy hoes I'd branded in the past. Afterall, *I* wasn't really a trashy hoe. I just play one on television and was giddy with the knowledge that I too could be a bad Bond girl at least for a moment.

It's been an eye opener for me to imagine that maybe some FAs experience something similar? I just never thought that far in to it. I wonder how much of this transferrence plays into an FAs mentality when they find themselves thrust into the arena of the bbw follies? An FA friend of mine is so anxious about what people will say about him that he can't seem to get out of his own way at times. Do you find yourself mortified at the thought of being viewed through the same looking glass as that guy you knew that everyone talked about knowing that it's not really what you're about?
OMG. Yes, yes, and yes. EXACTLY. +10000.

Sorry, going back to lurking in this forum now.
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Old 04-21-2009, 08:41 AM   #56
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OMG. Yes, yes, and yes. EXACTLY. +10000.

Sorry, going back to lurking in this forum now.
*Psst* You might want to check out the 'Tramps Trollops and Whores' thread on the sexuality board.
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Old 04-22-2009, 12:03 PM   #57
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The downside of this is that it wasn't appreciated by everybody. There were women there who saw me as trashy or loose when I truly wasn't. I found myself being branded with a brush that I myself had used in the past. For me it seemed a bit more difficult to swallow because I felt it didn't really tell the whole story of me and who I am, if that makes any sense. Yeah so ok, clearly its a part of me or I wouldn't do it but it seemed just so inappropriate for me as compared to all the other trashy hoes I'd branded in the past. Afterall, *I* wasn't really a trashy hoe. I just play one on television and was giddy with the knowledge that I too could be a bad Bond girl at least for a moment.

It's been an eye opener for me to imagine that maybe some FAs experience something similar?
the problem is them, not you. there's nothing wrong with being "trashy" or "loose" in itself...barring a closed relationship or an irresponsible STD record. enjoy yourself, you only live once. will there be women who will be put off by this and turn you down? sure, that's a risk you take. but you're only a "slut" if you believe in sluts. there's nothing guilty about pleasure. i feel bad for those people.

Last edited by exile in thighville; 04-22-2009 at 12:09 PM.
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