Dimensions Forums  
Home Register Premium Membership Health Issues Market Place Big Fashion

Go Back   Dimensions Forums > Discussion > FA/FFA forum



Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 04-14-2009, 08:49 AM   #26
mergirl
 
mergirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Scotland
Posts: 6,927
mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr. P Marshall View Post
I haven't read this whole thread, and I am still working on a more thorough answer, but I did want to throw something out there in relation to this point. Especially in light of the "FA guilt" thread. You may not understand the fetish, but most FAs at least understand having an attraction/getting turned on by something that they did not choose and have no control over and often feel conflicted by. I think if non fetishist FAs tried to think of it that way, not in terms of what we DO (or don't do) to other people, but as something we ARE (fetishists) it might help bridge the gap a little.
I think this is exactly right. To be honest, before i came here (the forums) my only experience of 'feeders' was in chat (where i think i first went about 8 years ago) and the constant 'do you want to gain?' 'how fat do you want to get' etc. That coupled with watching the Docu 'fat girls and feeders' and seeing the film 'feed' sort of confused me. I was confused because i have an on and off chat freind who kinna 'came out' as a feeder and he ..is a NICE guy! SHOCK!!! There are no good representations of feeders. I think it might even be hard to explain via television because people generally get board after about 2 seconds but still as with most things the story must be told.. so we get sensationalist stuff like tyra or 'fat girls and feeders'.
Its totally different now as since i joined the forums i have chatted with lots of people who i think are amazing who either identify as feeders or have a weight gain fetish. I have always had an interest in fetish/fantasy and the psychology of both, so really, even when i watched the sensationalist stuff i knew it just wasnt as simple or as 'shocking' as the shows have tried to portray and i now know this is the case.
I was actually trying to explain this to a friend recently (well more of an aquaintence really and they were drunk and anoying and actually on hindsite i shouldnt have engaged them) I was explaining about Fa's and he brought up feederism (because of the docu) and was asking if they were the same. I tried to explain the differences and i talked about the fact that for many with a fetish it is something that they cant help but feel/desire. He compared this to pedophellia, which right away i corrected (pretty pissed off by now), pointing out that, no, infact it is a concentual fetish, which half the time isn't even acted out and pretty much never to the extreme measures he was thinking (think the film feed). I was thinking about directing him here for a better understanding but decided not to inflict him on you all. He is a shite friend anyway and i only usually see him at weddings or parties. Anyway, my point was that it made me think about what a sensitive and taboo subject it really is and how sensitive feeders are here. (rightfully so) and if there were ways of bridging the gap (cheers Dr P) or if most feeders would just rather it wasnt really brought up or that anyone tried to explain it properly to the 'outside world'. You have my support always anyway, though that probably means not very much. lol. I just mean, i can and have bridged the gap but that has only been through talking to people here.
mergirl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-14-2009, 08:51 AM   #27
Dr. P Marshall
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 1,336
Dr. P Marshall keeps pushing the rep limit!Dr. P Marshall keeps pushing the rep limit!Dr. P Marshall keeps pushing the rep limit!Dr. P Marshall keeps pushing the rep limit!Dr. P Marshall keeps pushing the rep limit!Dr. P Marshall keeps pushing the rep limit!Dr. P Marshall keeps pushing the rep limit!Dr. P Marshall keeps pushing the rep limit!Dr. P Marshall keeps pushing the rep limit!Dr. P Marshall keeps pushing the rep limit!Dr. P Marshall keeps pushing the rep limit!
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by MisterGuy View Post
I honestly don't think I've ever run across a guy into SSBBWs who isn't also into WG, to some extent, although certainly many guys dating SSBBWs don't encourage their partner to gain for health/mobility reasons. I'm also not saying that all guys with this preference have no upper limit of what they like, but I do think WG, on some level, usually figures into their fantasy world.

I could be way off base here, and would be interested in others' opinions.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CCC View Post
Agreed. I see much more of a distinction between simply being an FA and being into weight gain. It may be common that the two traits are found in the same person, but definitely not necessary. I for instance, wouldn't have any desire at all to see a woman I was with (who was already a size that I appreciated) get any bigger. If it happens it happens, but I wouldn't try to force it or get all happy in the pants every time she gained.
I know this isn't exactly what misterguy meant, or I don't think so anyway, I will say that for some of us wg fetish can work before or after the fact. In other words, the person doesn't have to actually gain, but knowing that there HAS been a gain in the past(seeing them in old clothes that don't fit, etc, etc) can be a real turn on. And I've seen that type of thing from FA/FFA who don't identify as weight gain fetishists. So while it may not be true that all FA/FFAs who prefer 300 and up want gain in their partner, I do think there is a tendency to overall appreciate the gaining that made the person the size that they currently are. Again, I am hesitant to throw out theories about non-fetishists since I can't get in their head and I don't like when they theorize about me. So I will shut up for now. But it was just something I wanted to throw out there......that there is even more than one way to be attracted to weight gain.

Last edited by Dr. P Marshall; 04-14-2009 at 08:52 AM. Reason: misspelled misterguy....geez
Dr. P Marshall is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-14-2009, 08:59 AM   #28
mergirl
 
mergirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Scotland
Posts: 6,927
mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by tres huevos View Post
I've always suspected most FAs have wg tendencies, and not even necessarily based on specific weight preferences. I've been slapped for suggesting such here on Dims, but that's still my hunch. FA erotica says it all: most sites/mags/vids/etc feature gaining-related material, be it eating, measuring, tight clothes, stuckage, etc.

.
See, i loved the weight stories. I used to read them years ago. It was the descriptions of fat that turned me on though. I wondered why such a large part of the basis on the stories were weight gain orentated, then i realised that a lot of things Fa's liked Fa's with weight gain fantasy would like too. Things like too tight clothes -Something which would excentuate fat but also be indicitive of gaining.
Fat people enjoying food-Could be sexy in a taboo way (because a lot of fat people hide the fact they eat), is a sensual act also could lead to weight gain.
Getting stuck places-Again this could just be indicitive of being fat and not necessaraly weight gain related.
There are loads more examples i'm sure. I know what you mean though..Why would people write mainly about gaining if they wernt into it. I'm sure many are but i think also that 'weight gain' seems to be a way of expressing 'fat' really well via description somehow. The stories really turned me on, not because of the gain but because of the descriptions of fat. Well, not the stories that go-then she ate a pill and was 1000lbs etc. (sorry if you actually wrote one like that btw.. but it just wasnt my cup of tea! lol)
mergirl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-14-2009, 09:05 AM   #29
mergirl
 
mergirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Scotland
Posts: 6,927
mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr. P Marshall View Post
I will say that for some of us wg fetish can work before or after the fact. In other words, the person doesn't have to actually gain, but knowing that there HAS been a gain in the past(seeing them in old clothes that don't fit, etc, etc) can be a real turn on. And I've seen that type of thing from FA/FFA who don't identify as weight gain fetishists. .
OH! Maby i AM a weight gain fetishist then!
I guess like any fetish/sexuality, there are sub groups within sub groups and definitions within definition. So in guess we just have to create some sort of structure or else we would disolve into nothing. (not us personally but the defining of us).
See, i didnt know this was a thing!! Hu..i dont FEEL any different.
mergirl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-14-2009, 09:35 AM   #30
Tad
mostly harmless
 
Tad's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 12,529
Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default

I think one of the confounding factors in the "Am I just an FA or do I like weight gain" discussion is that one of the ways someone could demonstrate that they love being fat is to show off their fat in ways similar to what one would do to show off a gain. Beyond that even, happily getting bigger is a type of evidence that you like being fat. So I think some of the gain stuff can probably push some buttons for people who are not attracted by gain for its own sake.

To me a better test of whether or not you are attracted to gain is if you see someone who is a distant aquaintance or a stranger who you see occasionally--say someone who works at a store you go into occasionally--has visibly gained a small amount of weight, do that cause some reaction in you? You have no idea if they like or not, if it was deliberate or not, and so on. But you can see that the clothes that fit a few months ago are now strained, so while their size is not all that much different they seem to have gained. If gaining is one of your hot buttons, it will be hard to pull your eyes away. If it is not, presumably you wouldn't much care.
__________________
Criticism is so often nothing more than the eye garrulously denouncing the shape of the peephole that gives access to hidden treasure.
-Djuna Barnes, writer and artist
Tad is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-14-2009, 09:46 AM   #31
Dr. P Marshall
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 1,336
Dr. P Marshall keeps pushing the rep limit!Dr. P Marshall keeps pushing the rep limit!Dr. P Marshall keeps pushing the rep limit!Dr. P Marshall keeps pushing the rep limit!Dr. P Marshall keeps pushing the rep limit!Dr. P Marshall keeps pushing the rep limit!Dr. P Marshall keeps pushing the rep limit!Dr. P Marshall keeps pushing the rep limit!Dr. P Marshall keeps pushing the rep limit!Dr. P Marshall keeps pushing the rep limit!Dr. P Marshall keeps pushing the rep limit!
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by mergirl View Post
I think this is exactly right. To be honest, before i came here (the forums) my only experience of 'feeders' was in chat (where i think i first went about 8 years ago) and the constant 'do you want to gain?'...
I just saw this post. I love you mer, but how am I going to get my real life work done if you keep making me think.

I freely admit that there are members of the group of "my kind" who make me uncomfortable/creep me out with their BEHAVIOR. But in terms of what goes through a fetishist's mind, or what they fantasize about, I really have no problem. To be honest, the people with the more extreme fantasies do not generate disgust from me, I actually really feel for them because I know that a fetish is something you can't control and I couldn't imagine having something go through your head that you couldn't possibly do in real life and that was the only or primary thing that aroused you.

I am speaking only for me, but I thought maybe I could explain how it works for me. I admit that I actually have a pretty hardwired, hardcore weight gain fetish. It's what really brought me to Dims. All gaining really excites me, and my ultimate fantasy would be pretty significant weight gain. But for me, what I will engage in is very different from what I get turned on by. The only way I can think of to explain my relationship to my fetish to a non-fetishist FA is to compare it to the feelings FAs often have about partner weight loss. You want what's best for the other person, you know what you would do to keep them happy goes against what your ultimate sexual desires are, you feel guilty about it, but you try to do the right thing for everyone in the situation and in order to not completely lose your mind/ruin your relationship to the person, you try not to beat yourself up all the time to the point that you become a thoroughly dysfunctional mess.

I would also add that, for me anyway, there is a division in the mind even as things are happening sometimes between the "Dr.P the person" part of my brain and my sexual brain. I will use a real example from my past to try to illustrate. I prefer larger BHM, but my ex was actually a smaller one. His weight would fluctuate and he had a very bad back problem, so when he was heavier, he struggled more. I hated watching him struggle at the higher weight, it almost brought me to tears when sometimes he actually needed help. BUT, I cannot deny that in terms of my sexual response, it was always much stronger when he had gained some weight recently. Don't think I didn't hate myself for that one. I did. He also wasn't happier with himself at the higher weight and he would get frustrated. One day, he snapped his belt. It just came right off. Now, in my head, I was already thinking about how to help him LOSE weight and get to where he would be happier and all of the things that he needed and it was all sincere. The thoughts in my head were sincere. The lower part of my body, however, was having a completely different response to the snapped belt. Even as a woman, I can always tell the difference when I'm really turned on and I very definitely was.

So that divide in the mind/body, that inability to control what turns you on, that I get completely no matter what the person's turn on may be. That is why even if I don't understand the most extreme turn ons among the fetishists, I at least feel that I understand how it feels to have them. Now what someone does and how they treat other people in real life and chat is a whole other issue. No fetish gives anyone the right to make another person uncomfortable, or to manipulate them, or to just be a clueless, callous horndog all the time. I have no problem with people calling out the fetishists who misbehave. But that should be true of non-fetishist FAs too. What I sometimes find hurtful and often resent is that there is a sense that only fetishists are creepy, or capable of dehumanizing someone. There is also a sense that many people think we can't control ourselves at all. And that's not fair. We are as diverse as any other segment of the FA population in who we are as people, what our moral compasses are and all of the other things that makes a person who we are. Sometimes around here I feel like being a fetishist means I have to reaffirm my humanity with my every breath and that seems like an unfair burden to put on an entire group of people. I think many fetishists are VERY aware of those in our midst who behave in an alarming manner, but I know I would never chat with some guy and dehumanize him by way of introduction, and I have a serious fetish, so I am inclined to believe that many other fetishists are like me as well. It's just that the creeps are the ones people think of because they are out there and in your face and they upset people and more people talk about them and focus on them.

I understand why other members of the community are leery of us, I just don't think it's fair. I think at the very least we deserve to be taken on a case by case basis. So when I see things about "good FA" and I know the person means a non fetishist, yeah, it actually hurts, to be honest. And half the time I know that person actually knows me on the boards and likes me and they don't mean me, but they need to realize, they do. I think a general sensitivity about over generalizing would be nice. I don't think anyone has to understand it, or agree with it, but I hope with this board and the chance to talk about it, other community members will at least start seeing us as individuals and not all the same. I don't deny there are some horrible things that happen in the fetishist world, but it doesn't happen with all of us. Many of us would never want to go there in a million years, but we may want to talk about it without always being lumped in with the guys you see on the exploitative talk shows.

I don't mean this in a hostile, or defensive way, either. I have felt very welcomed by this community and I think the non-fetishist/fetishist FA split is actually a real shame. In general we have a lot in common, especially issues like guilt and balancing desires with concern for our partners and all of the other things. I think the other FAs could accept us as fetishist/FAs without having to feel that they are condoning anything. You can always support and accept the people, even if you don't accept their desires and fantasies. I think that would make the fetishists who are thoughtful and caring feel more a part of the community and would leave the creeps alone where they belong instead of making a lot of perfectly nice people feel like monsters all of the time. That's just my theory, I could be wrong.
Dr. P Marshall is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-14-2009, 09:47 AM   #32
mergirl
 
mergirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Scotland
Posts: 6,927
mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by edx View Post
I think one of the confounding factors in the "Am I just an FA or do I like weight gain" discussion is that one of the ways someone could demonstrate that they love being fat is to show off their fat in ways similar to what one would do to show off a gain. Beyond that even, happily getting bigger is a type of evidence that you like being fat. So I think some of the gain stuff can probably push some buttons for people who are not attracted by gain for its own sake.

To me a better test of whether or not you are attracted to gain is if you see someone who is a distant aquaintance or a stranger who you see occasionally--say someone who works at a store you go into occasionally--has visibly gained a small amount of weight, do that cause some reaction in you? You have no idea if they like or not, if it was deliberate or not, and so on. But you can see that the clothes that fit a few months ago are now strained, so while their size is not all that much different they seem to have gained. If gaining is one of your hot buttons, it will be hard to pull your eyes away. If it is not, presumably you wouldn't much care.
hmmm.. see i think i wouldnt really care, unless they were really skinny to begin with and then looked fatter..Then i would totally think they were hotter..hmm erm ..i think. Actually, i feel a bit confused. I'm going to use rediculous figures here so excuse me..If someone was 50lbs and gained weight and became 140lbs.. i wouldnt be turned on because they would still be skinny.. Though if they were 140lbs and gained to 240 then i possibly would be. For me, i really dont think it is the 'gaining' but to be honest i think there is a thin (sic) line between fat admiration and love of gain, like you said, as they both tell the story of fat.
mergirl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-14-2009, 09:52 AM   #33
Tad
mostly harmless
 
Tad's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 12,529
Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default

Dr. P: as is far too often the case I can't rep you right now. Darn you for being so rep-worthy! But yes, YES, YES to pretty much everything in your post, and I really have nothing to add. You nailed it perfectly.

BTW: I have that same sort of weird double response thing going on all the time too. I've pretty much trained myself to keep it from causing visible physical reactions, but the two totally different mental reactions, oh yah.
__________________
Criticism is so often nothing more than the eye garrulously denouncing the shape of the peephole that gives access to hidden treasure.
-Djuna Barnes, writer and artist
Tad is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-14-2009, 09:52 AM   #34
Dr. P Marshall
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 1,336
Dr. P Marshall keeps pushing the rep limit!Dr. P Marshall keeps pushing the rep limit!Dr. P Marshall keeps pushing the rep limit!Dr. P Marshall keeps pushing the rep limit!Dr. P Marshall keeps pushing the rep limit!Dr. P Marshall keeps pushing the rep limit!Dr. P Marshall keeps pushing the rep limit!Dr. P Marshall keeps pushing the rep limit!Dr. P Marshall keeps pushing the rep limit!Dr. P Marshall keeps pushing the rep limit!Dr. P Marshall keeps pushing the rep limit!
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by edx View Post
I think one of the confounding factors in the "Am I just an FA or do I like weight gain" discussion is that one of the ways someone could demonstrate that they love being fat is to show off their fat in ways similar to what one would do to show off a gain. Beyond that even, happily getting bigger is a type of evidence that you like being fat. So I think some of the gain stuff can probably push some buttons for people who are not attracted by gain for its own sake.

To me a better test of whether or not you are attracted to gain is if you see someone who is a distant aquaintance or a stranger who you see occasionally--say someone who works at a store you go into occasionally--has visibly gained a small amount of weight, do that cause some reaction in you? You have no idea if they like or not, if it was deliberate or not, and so on. But you can see that the clothes that fit a few months ago are now strained, so while their size is not all that much different they seem to have gained. If gaining is one of your hot buttons, it will be hard to pull your eyes away. If it is not, presumably you wouldn't much care.
Or when you hear someone say "wow, he's put on a lot" and you almost get whiplash trying to look at the guy.
Dr. P Marshall is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-14-2009, 10:02 AM   #35
mergirl
 
mergirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Scotland
Posts: 6,927
mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr. P Marshall View Post

So that divide in the mind/body, that inability to control what turns you on, that I get completely no matter what the person's turn on may be. That is why even if I don't understand the most extreme turn ons among the fetishists, I at least feel that I understand how it feels to have them. Now what someone does and how they treat other people in real life and chat is a whole other issue. No fetish gives anyone the right to make another person uncomfortable, or to manipulate them, or to just be a clueless, callous horndog all the time. I have no problem with people calling out the fetishists who misbehave. But that should be true of non-fetishist FAs too. What I sometimes find hurtful and often resent is that there is a sense that only fetishists are creepy, or capable of dehumanizing someone. There is also a sense that many people think we can't control ourselves at all. And that's not fair. We are as diverse as any other segment of the FA population in who we are as people, what our moral compasses are and all of the other things that makes a person who we are. Sometimes around here I feel like being a fetishist means I have to reaffirm my humanity with my every breath and that seems like an unfair burden to put on an entire group of people. I think many fetishists are VERY aware of those in our midst who behave in an alarming manner, but I know I would never chat with some guy and dehumanize him by way of introduction, and I have a serious fetish, so I am inclined to believe that many other fetishists are like me as well. It's just that the creeps are the ones people think of because they are out there and in your face and they upset people and more people talk about them and focus on them.
I just wanted to quote this because its a beautiful thing. Actually your whole post was but i wanted to say that i have had (regular/vanilla/whatever)Fa's and actually even bbws and bhms being right sleazebags to me in the past, i was just highlighting that the badly behaved fetishists were the only ones i had ever encountered, which is usually because they are the ones making the most noise. My dad actually said to me a while back (because apparently i am the oracle of lesbian behaviour) "how come when you see lesbians on the news, its always the agressive, man hating ones?" I said "Well maby its just because they are the loudest". I think this might be true, that the members of our communities and the ones that represent us least are usually the ones doing all the shouting for us.
Anyway, Dr P, i think you should quit your day job and become a chat show host or even a writer because you have a very elegant way of putting things across, which really opens peoples eyes to different ways of thinking and i think that is a rare skill. och, your creepy but i love you!!
mergirl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-14-2009, 10:22 AM   #36
Dr. P Marshall
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 1,336
Dr. P Marshall keeps pushing the rep limit!Dr. P Marshall keeps pushing the rep limit!Dr. P Marshall keeps pushing the rep limit!Dr. P Marshall keeps pushing the rep limit!Dr. P Marshall keeps pushing the rep limit!Dr. P Marshall keeps pushing the rep limit!Dr. P Marshall keeps pushing the rep limit!Dr. P Marshall keeps pushing the rep limit!Dr. P Marshall keeps pushing the rep limit!Dr. P Marshall keeps pushing the rep limit!Dr. P Marshall keeps pushing the rep limit!
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by mergirl View Post
I just wanted to quote this because its a beautiful thing. Actually your whole post was but i wanted to say that i have had (regular/vanilla/whatever)Fa's and actually even bbws and bhms being right sleazebags to me in the past, i was just highlighting that the badly behaved fetishists were the only ones i had ever encountered, which is usually because they are the ones making the most noise. My dad actually said to me a while back (because apparently i am the oracle of lesbian behaviour) "how come when you see lesbians on the news, its always the agressive, man hating ones?" I said "Well maby its just because they are the loudest". I think this might be true, that the members of our communities and the ones that represent us least are usually the ones doing all the shouting for us.
Anyway, Dr P, i think you should quit your day job and become a chat show host or even a writer because you have a very elegant way of putting things across, which really opens peoples eyes to different ways of thinking and i think that is a rare skill. och, your creepy but i love you!!
I love you too. And for me anyway, you will now be the official oracle of lesbian behavior in my mind.
Dr. P Marshall is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-14-2009, 01:03 PM   #37
altered states
señor member
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 1,389
altered states has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!altered states has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!altered states has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!altered states has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!altered states has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!altered states has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!altered states has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!altered states has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!altered states has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!altered states has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!altered states has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by BothGunsBlazing View Post
I don't know if it's true that most FAs are into WG as much as most FAs are into their partner being comfortable with their bodies around them and okay with eating whatever they want and not being self conscience, which usually leads to weigh gain.
It's two different impulses. What you're saying makes sense in a relationship (FA or non-) but when we dive into men's ids via erotica, the comfort of their partner goes out the window - alongside their partners most of the time.

I'm not saying all FAs are into WG, by the way. Just that a lot of them are, perhaps a majority, and certainly more than are willing to cop to it.
altered states is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-14-2009, 01:06 PM   #38
MisterGuy
 
MisterGuy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 459
MisterGuy makes people happy simply by logging inMisterGuy makes people happy simply by logging inMisterGuy makes people happy simply by logging inMisterGuy makes people happy simply by logging inMisterGuy makes people happy simply by logging inMisterGuy makes people happy simply by logging inMisterGuy makes people happy simply by logging inMisterGuy makes people happy simply by logging inMisterGuy makes people happy simply by logging inMisterGuy makes people happy simply by logging in
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr. P Marshall View Post
I know this isn't exactly what misterguy meant, or I don't think so anyway, I will say that for some of us wg fetish can work before or after the fact. In other words, the person doesn't have to actually gain, but knowing that there HAS been a gain in the past(seeing them in old clothes that don't fit, etc, etc) can be a real turn on. And I've seen that type of thing from FA/FFA who don't identify as weight gain fetishists. So while it may not be true that all FA/FFAs who prefer 300 and up want gain in their partner, I do think there is a tendency to overall appreciate the gaining that made the person the size that they currently are. Again, I am hesitant to throw out theories about non-fetishists since I can't get in their head and I don't like when they theorize about me. So I will shut up for now. But it was just something I wanted to throw out there......that there is even more than one way to be attracted to weight gain.
Yeah, this is exactly right. I can be just as turned on by the thought or knowledge that a woman who weighs 300 lbs. used to weigh 150. I don't have to witness the transformation, although that does it for me, too. In a sense that's what I meant by my blanket statement about FA wg fantasies--the fact of wg is so inherent to liking big people, even if you aren't expressly turned on by the gaining specifically, you are turned on by the result of it.

Also, a la what Tres Huevos said, if you look at most fatporn sites, even the ones that start off non-wg, eating, or feeding related--e.g. Mandy Blake-- usually start to include that stuff at some point, and I suspect the reason is market demand.
MisterGuy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-14-2009, 01:22 PM   #39
katherine22
 
katherine22's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Tualatin, Oregon (near Portland)
Posts: 566
katherine22 has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!katherine22 has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!katherine22 has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!katherine22 has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!katherine22 has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!katherine22 has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!katherine22 has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!katherine22 has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!katherine22 has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!katherine22 has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!katherine22 has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by edx View Post
I view this a bit as being like a tomato based pasta sauce. They can vary wildly, while all having some of the same base flavors.

For myself, besides that dominant flavor of “FA” there would be aspects of: dig being chubby/fat myself, somewhat bi-sexual when it comes to being an FA, somewhat loosely anchored gender identity (especially when it comes to fat issues), gaining desires, turned on by weight gain in general, very unfortunate turn-ons from stereotypical “fat and lazy” lifestyle and inability to do things brought on by the same*, and probably a couple of other bits of flavoring that aren’t jumping to mind right now, and most likely a smidgen of a couple more that I’ve not even identified yet.

* This sort of thing is so much the antithesis to everything else I’m about that it really annoys me that it turns me on. For me it is really a “fantasy only” thing, but it won’t go away from my fantasies no matter how much I might wish it to. Actually, I have a suspicion that trying to make it go away most likely makes it more piquant.
Whatever you resist, persists. There is a difference in trying to explain a preference and indulging in a preference with your lover.
katherine22 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-14-2009, 02:21 PM   #40
philosobear
Thriving circuitously
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: behind the north wind
Posts: 232
philosobear can now be the recipient of "two cans" jokesphilosobear can now be the recipient of "two cans" jokes
Default good thread...

thanks for the amazing posts guys. I have so much to add that I can barely add anything at the moment. But yeah, as someone who represents the full house, FA, and someone turned on by weight gain both in myself and in another I can confirm that it feels TOTALLY WIERD and makes relating to the community as a whole much more complicated. The result is that I probably just don't post much and represent a very limited version of myself, because the truth is just much more complicated. And also, I have a conscience and am quite openly critical of a lot of what goes on on this site in my mind. And quite openly critical of what goes on in my mind as well. So I tend to keep shtum. Which probably isn't very generous or very contructive, but it's what I do.

Last edited by philosobear; 04-14-2009 at 02:24 PM.
philosobear is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-14-2009, 08:08 PM   #41
Jon Blaze
Dusk
 
Jon Blaze's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Oklahoma City, OK ya dig? ;)
Posts: 6,746
Jon Blaze keeps pushing the rep limit!Jon Blaze keeps pushing the rep limit!Jon Blaze keeps pushing the rep limit!Jon Blaze keeps pushing the rep limit!Jon Blaze keeps pushing the rep limit!Jon Blaze keeps pushing the rep limit!Jon Blaze keeps pushing the rep limit!Jon Blaze keeps pushing the rep limit!Jon Blaze keeps pushing the rep limit!Jon Blaze keeps pushing the rep limit!Jon Blaze keeps pushing the rep limit!
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by CCC View Post
Agreed. I see much more of a distinction between simply being an FA and being into weight gain. It may be common that the two traits are found in the same person, but definitely not necessary. I for instance, wouldn't have any desire at all to see a woman I was with (who was already a size that I appreciated) get any bigger. If it happens it happens, but I wouldn't try to force it or get all happy in the pants every time she gained.
EDIT: yes, I understand you were saying "most," MisterGuy. I've never seen a poll on that (not a bad idea though?), so I can't really make an informed declaration about "most" either way.



But it has happened... I remember a thread not too long ago where people were putting down so-called bi-sizuals in a sort of snotty way, saying things like "You can't call yourself a true FA if you'd ever get with a skinny girl."


I'm not sure that I understood the original question, but assuming I did, I'd say that on the surface, and around here anyway, there is actually quite a bit of division. The constant arguments between the more vocal and obnoxious/creepy guys and the (usually) female members who call them out on their apparently poor behavior on the weight board seem to make that evident (the rebuttal always being, then, "If you don't like it don't come on the Weight Board!"). Not being into any extra fetishes inparticular, I can't really answer the other questions.
This. Over and over again.

I think there needs to be a distinction between ones preference and fetishes, regardless if they may or may not have some relation to a person, place, thing, body type, etc....

I don't think lumping us all together is going to make things any better.
There could be a lot of reasons for what looks like a vast majority, but I really don't believe that to be true. I'd say it varies (As said by CCC), and that maybe those that are fetishistic have to the potential to be boisterous about it if they are open.

But in regards to content: I tend not to be. Eating? Gaining? I almost always skip over that content, or I take the latter and pay no attention the gain. It's not my thing (No denial here: I'm just not into it), and I have no problem with those that are into, so long as I'm not lumped in.

I've joined probably.... 30 paysites? Maybe? I lost count.

That's all I'm saying. I don't think I'm a rare breed, but I also don't think being into those kinds of things is rare either. I think the trait is all over the place as I said, and I accept that FA conceptually can exist at what seems like drastically different extremes.
__________________
Love people of all sizes!!! History is sometimes more logical than society.- Me :D

"Happiness is not stopping to think if you are."- Palmer Sondreal
Jon Blaze is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-16-2009, 11:21 AM   #42
adam
 
adam's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 325
adam can now be the recipient of "two cans" jokesadam can now be the recipient of "two cans" jokes
Default

I'm very partial to fatness, weight, softness, rolls, cellulite, and jiggle in regard to BBWs/SSBBWs. I find all sizes of fat women attractive. I am indifferent to WG. I am not a feeder myself. I will not discourage eating as much as is wanted. I would encourage excersize. Squashing can be one of the great forms of excersize. So I suppose I'm a normally twisted
FA.
adam is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-16-2009, 04:11 PM   #43
Hole
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Neverwhere
Posts: 659
Hole never has a post go unnoticedHole never has a post go unnoticedHole never has a post go unnoticedHole never has a post go unnoticedHole never has a post go unnoticedHole never has a post go unnoticedHole never has a post go unnoticed
Default

I just like fat. I'm boring.Just a regular FFA.

Maybe we need a seperate forum for us.I feel marginalized. I have issues regarding this. You know what,make it a private forum because I don't want regular FAs reading about my demons.They don't understand.
Hole is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-17-2009, 03:13 AM   #44
mergirl
 
mergirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Scotland
Posts: 6,927
mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hole View Post
I just like fat. I'm boring.Just a regular FFA.

Maybe we need a seperate forum for us.I feel marginalized. I have issues regarding this. You know what,make it a private forum because I don't want regular FAs reading about my demons.They don't understand.
I dont even know if this is a joke!! I hope so..
mergirl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-17-2009, 08:07 PM   #45
rollhandler
 
rollhandler's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Northern Illinois
Posts: 612
rollhandler never has a post go unnoticedrollhandler never has a post go unnoticedrollhandler never has a post go unnoticedrollhandler never has a post go unnoticedrollhandler never has a post go unnoticedrollhandler never has a post go unnoticedrollhandler never has a post go unnoticedrollhandler never has a post go unnoticed
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by mergirl View Post
I have been wondering for a while; How much having an added 'fetish' (for want of a better word) onto being an Fa eg. Also being a feeder, encourager etc. divides you from regular Fa's with no added twist?.
Do you think Fat people or other Fa's treat you differently if you have an added 'fetish'?
What are your feelings on this divide?
Do you think that there are ways that you think people could be better educated to added aspects that can come with being an Fa?.
Does the fetishistic side make you behave differently? ie. are you more defensive? etc.
You dont have to answer all these questions, they are just thoughts to get a discussion started or not! Just any of your thoughts on this really.
I believe that no matter your sexuality or gender there is a preference.

I also believe that for every preference there is a fetish attachment whether it be for:skinny/bbw/ssbbw/bhm/men/women as preferences but with big butts/hips/bellies/arms/legs/cankles/stretchmarks, long legs, hair color, penchant for certain activities, nationality, shape of figure, accent, etc. for fetish attachments to their preference.

My preference is fat women, my fetish is fat saggy bellies and strechmarks. The twist part of my FAness is watching a partner eat/overeat or gain of their own volition.

The only defensive posture I find myself exhibiting is when people group feeding and encouraging into the same bent and associate me with the wrong grouping.

I define the terms as:
feeder = has gaining of a partner and a goal in mind, and is willing to feed his/her partner him/herself to meet that goal. Needs the gain to be more or less active to be sexually satisfied with his partner. More dom/sub in nature

encourager = doesnt feed his partner but does encourage the behaviour of overeating to occur by his/ her own partners hand, but doesn't necessarily need the gain to be happy, he/she can watch the act of a partner eating and be eroticized simply by the act and some imagination. More passive

I define my fetish as encourager, so when I am called a feeder I get a bit defensive. In my mind there is a defined line that I do not cross nor do I wish to be associated with in terms of behaviour.

Last edited by rollhandler; 04-17-2009 at 08:12 PM.
rollhandler is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-17-2009, 08:18 PM   #46
rollhandler
 
rollhandler's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Northern Illinois
Posts: 612
rollhandler never has a post go unnoticedrollhandler never has a post go unnoticedrollhandler never has a post go unnoticedrollhandler never has a post go unnoticedrollhandler never has a post go unnoticedrollhandler never has a post go unnoticedrollhandler never has a post go unnoticedrollhandler never has a post go unnoticed
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hole View Post
I just like fat. I'm boring.Just a regular FFA.

Maybe we need a seperate forum for us.I feel marginalized. I have issues regarding this. You know what,make it a private forum because I don't want regular FAs reading about my demons.They don't understand.
If it isn't a joke it will serve as the best reason that some issues won't get discussed for fear of being mocked or ridiculed on an open to everyone board.
If it is a joke I find it in poor taste.
Just my opinion.
Rollhandler
rollhandler is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-18-2009, 04:34 AM   #47
mergirl
 
mergirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Scotland
Posts: 6,927
mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by rollhandler View Post
I believe that no matter your sexuality or gender there is a preference.

I also believe that for every preference there is a fetish attachment whether it be for:skinny/bbw/ssbbw/bhm/men/women as preferences but with big butts/hips/bellies/arms/legs/cankles/stretchmarks, long legs, hair color, penchant for certain activities, nationality, shape of figure, accent, etc. for fetish attachments to their preference.

My preference is fat women, my fetish is fat saggy bellies and strechmarks. The twist part of my FAness is watching a partner eat/overeat or gain of their own volition.

The only defensive posture I find myself exhibiting is when people group feeding and encouraging into the same bent and associate me with the wrong grouping.

I define the terms as:
feeder = has gaining of a partner and a goal in mind, and is willing to feed his/her partner him/herself to meet that goal. Needs the gain to be more or less active to be sexually satisfied with his partner. More dom/sub in nature

encourager = doesnt feed his partner but does encourage the behaviour of overeating to occur by his/ her own partners hand, but doesn't necessarily need the gain to be happy, he/she can watch the act of a partner eating and be eroticized simply by the act and some imagination. More passive

I define my fetish as encourager, so when I am called a feeder I get a bit defensive. In my mind there is a defined line that I do not cross nor do I wish to be associated with in terms of behaviour.
Ahh.. see this was something i wondered about.
Is 'feeder' more sub/dom related and 'encorager' more passive.
Like does the hornyness aspect of being a feeder come from the act of being responsible for someones gain? or is it just different for different people.
As an encourager ..weight gain is the turn on..but its more of a turn on if the person gains of their own accord??
hmm is this kinna accurate?
mergirl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-18-2009, 06:14 AM   #48
rollhandler
 
rollhandler's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Northern Illinois
Posts: 612
rollhandler never has a post go unnoticedrollhandler never has a post go unnoticedrollhandler never has a post go unnoticedrollhandler never has a post go unnoticedrollhandler never has a post go unnoticedrollhandler never has a post go unnoticedrollhandler never has a post go unnoticedrollhandler never has a post go unnoticed
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jon Blaze View Post
This. Over and over again.

I think there needs to be a distinction between ones preference and fetishes, regardless if they may or may not have some relation to a person, place, thing, body type, etc....

That's all I'm saying. I don't think I'm a rare breed, but I also don't think being into those kinds of things is rare either. I think the trait is all over the place as I said, and I accept that FA conceptually can exist at what seems like drastically different extremes.
As with any type of fetish there is always the mild end of the spectrum and the wild end. This is no different here with FA fetishes. I will make two examples; one within the fat community and one in bdsm to illustrate my point.
With Fas the spectrum that we admire:
a) barely there soft figures .................................. immobile

In the S&M fetish:
b) mild spanking ................................................. mutilation

In weight gain as a fetish the spectrum seems to be:
Visually or in fantasy imagining anything that indicates gain on one end.
Encouraging the gain, or feeding "hands on" with mild limits in the middle.
Feeding to imobility as a full time lifestyle at the other end of the spectrum.

If you place any fetish spectrum in a bell curve the ones in the middle seem to marginalize the mild end as not being puritan enough, while condemning the other extreme end as giving a bad name to the fetish. Both ends and all in between are valid in their belief and practice. To me it just seems to be a form of peer pressure to get others to be more like the majority and shame them as abnormal if they can't.

Every fetish has its spectrum, but it seems that only the extreme end gets noticed by outsiders who generalize to encompass the entire spectrum community of those who practice regardless of where they land in the spectrum and in some cases condemn them for their desires.
There is no wierd, only varying degrees of perceiving that which is normal.
Anything found commonly in nature, is normal.
Rollhandler
rollhandler is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-18-2009, 06:33 AM   #49
rollhandler
 
rollhandler's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Northern Illinois
Posts: 612
rollhandler never has a post go unnoticedrollhandler never has a post go unnoticedrollhandler never has a post go unnoticedrollhandler never has a post go unnoticedrollhandler never has a post go unnoticedrollhandler never has a post go unnoticedrollhandler never has a post go unnoticedrollhandler never has a post go unnoticed
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by mergirl View Post
Ahh.. see this was something i wondered about.
Is 'feeder' more sub/dom related and 'encourager' more passive.
Like does the hornyness aspect of being a feeder come from the act of being responsible for someones gain? or is it just different for different people.
As an encourager ..weight gain is the turn on..but its more of a turn on if the person gains of their own accord??
hmm is this kinna accurate?
I am not sure, for me the gain is secondary to the act of watching my partner eat, and I can find it just as erotic to look in her car and see bags of fast food trash on the floor and have my buttons pushed imagining that the 20 minute drive to/from work was too long to be without a snack. As an encourager I make absolutely sure that her ultimate favorite foods and snacks are in the house and easily accessable so that she is less likely to resist the added munching throughout the day, or by suggestions that she is more likely to go along with, such as suggesting her favorite dessert after a heavy meal or a slightly larger slice of cake on the plate for her. What is erotic to me is watching her and imagining the pounds add to her figure.
Rollhandler
rollhandler is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-18-2009, 01:56 PM   #50
Jon Blaze
Dusk
 
Jon Blaze's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Oklahoma City, OK ya dig? ;)
Posts: 6,746
Jon Blaze keeps pushing the rep limit!Jon Blaze keeps pushing the rep limit!Jon Blaze keeps pushing the rep limit!Jon Blaze keeps pushing the rep limit!Jon Blaze keeps pushing the rep limit!Jon Blaze keeps pushing the rep limit!Jon Blaze keeps pushing the rep limit!Jon Blaze keeps pushing the rep limit!Jon Blaze keeps pushing the rep limit!Jon Blaze keeps pushing the rep limit!Jon Blaze keeps pushing the rep limit!
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by rollhandler View Post
As with any type of fetish there is always the mild end of the spectrum and the wild end. This is no different here with FA fetishes. I will make two examples; one within the fat community and one in bdsm to illustrate my point.
With Fas the spectrum that we admire:
a) barely there soft figures .................................. immobile

In the S&M fetish:
b) mild spanking ................................................. mutilation

In weight gain as a fetish the spectrum seems to be:
Visually or in fantasy imagining anything that indicates gain on one end.
Encouraging the gain, or feeding "hands on" with mild limits in the middle.
Feeding to imobility as a full time lifestyle at the other end of the spectrum.

If you place any fetish spectrum in a bell curve the ones in the middle seem to marginalize the mild end as not being puritan enough, while condemning the other extreme end as giving a bad name to the fetish. Both ends and all in between are valid in their belief and practice. To me it just seems to be a form of peer pressure to get others to be more like the majority and shame them as abnormal if they can't.

Every fetish has its spectrum, but it seems that only the extreme end gets noticed by outsiders who generalize to encompass the entire spectrum community of those who practice regardless of where they land in the spectrum and in some cases condemn them for their desires.
There is no wierd, only varying degrees of perceiving that which is normal.
Anything found commonly in nature, is normal.
Rollhandler

That's not my argument. I'm arguing that the notion that there's an association between this particular spectrum of fetishes being associated with all or even a majority of FAs is foolish. Likewise, saying none of us are like this is also way off the mark.
__________________
Love people of all sizes!!! History is sometimes more logical than society.- Me :D

"Happiness is not stopping to think if you are."- Palmer Sondreal
Jon Blaze is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 02:14 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Copyright Dimensions Magazine. All rights reserved worldwide.