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Old 01-12-2011, 02:28 PM   #51
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Originally Posted by CastingPearls View Post
When I was a little girl I was having fun in a playground and they had those big metal teeter-totters back then but I couldn't play on them unless two kids or an adult were on the other side. One day I was sitting on one end and contemplating my predicament when an African man came over with his kid and said, OH MY you are SO FAT, and I got really upset as if it was a bad thing but to him it wasn't! He thought I was amazing and he (average size) and his little one got on the other end and started playing with me. He told me that in his country I would be worth many many cows and while I laugh now (and often recount the story) then, it was the first time I had an inkling that it wasn't a bad thing and he was not only honest, but admired it and it was sweet.
Aww, I love that story!
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Old 01-12-2011, 02:42 PM   #52
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Without being rude can I ask why?

To me, if a guy likes my fat and is into it its nice to hear it.
I guess it's still a negative description to me. I'd rather hear they like my body in other terms.
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Old 01-12-2011, 08:00 PM   #53
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girls i've dated/been with in the past have received my compliments for being fat. i.e. "i love the feel of your fat" or "you are fat and lovely," etc.
the girls i have been with have grown to get used to, and even like hearing these things
I was scanning the main topics and I saw this topic. Having read through, the above stands out to me the most.

OK, in my life time I have been told your so beautiful to be so fat; to Your so pretty its sad your so fat. Then there is the; Your looking so much better since your loosing weight, ( RECENTLY) hope to see less of you soon!! All these comments bother me, but lately it is the comments like the quote that bother me the most. Is it common for FA's to start out in a relationship treating there spouse like there human and then later on when the relationship is established start treating them like a big piece of fat meat? I miss being kissed passionately with out tummy grabs, I miss being looked at in the eyes, I miss being told I am lovely with out the fat added. I know he loves my fat, and thinks I am a total package but I need to be seen , not just my fat. DOES anyone else understand this?
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Old 01-12-2011, 09:13 PM   #54
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I miss being told I am lovely with out the fat added. I know he loves my fat, and thinks I am a total package but I need to be seen , not just my fat. DOES anyone else understand this?
I think I get you. I hate it when a guy - even someone with whom you're deeply involved - gets in the habit of reaching straight for his personal equivalent to The Naked Crotch (tm) when you're getting close, whether it's literally or figuratively. It's a little objectifying when it's figurative, and when it's literal, it can be violative. My big pet peeve is a guy zeroing in on my nipples all the time - drives me batshit. I *do* have other erogenous zones, I'm not your mom, you're not two months old, and holy crap! - sometimes I just like to cuddle without a boner all up in my metaphorical grill.

As for the fat compliment in general, I think it's all about context. "Fat" is such a socially and sexually loaded term that I realllly don't think anyone should use it unless the parties involved understand eachother. I mean, it's well understood that "You have big boobs!" is generally considered to be a compliment when coming from a guy, but if you're saying it to someone you don't know it's also considered to be pretty damn inappropriate. And big boobs don't come with the additional social stigma that fat does. At least, not in the same way.

When "fat" is used as a compliment, I think it's in good taste to prove that you've put care and thought into your observations. I.e., "OMG SO FAT!" doesn't demonstrate much personal investment, but a diverse littany of compliments including fat shows that your friend/sigother is paying attention to more than one dimension of you. It also shows that they respect you and your feelings enough to avoid sliding into bad habits, as innocent as they may be.
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Old 01-12-2011, 09:33 PM   #55
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I know he loves my fat, and thinks I am a total package but I need to be seen , not just my fat. DOES anyone else understand this?
Absolutely. I want someone to want to be with me for me, not because I'm a fetish fix.
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Old 01-13-2011, 04:35 AM   #56
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Feelings of objectification piss me off. I also am a total package, mind body and soul.

To me what I have a problem with, is, wondering how someone of sound mind, would actively pursue someone that is obviously unhealthy. I know it's extremely insulting to those that have preferences for whatever, and I do apologise. But it is the war within me, reason vs dick action lol

I have recently met a very intruiging man, extremely clever, freak clever actually, talented, creative, well travelled and dirty - with a smoking fetish. I like him, but doubt I am anything 'cept a smoking potenial cum vessel to him. Weird, the world is fucking weird is all.
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Old 01-13-2011, 05:33 AM   #57
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Originally Posted by CastingPearls View Post
When I was a little girl I was having fun in a playground and they had those big metal teeter-totters back then but I couldn't play on them unless two kids or an adult were on the other side. One day I was sitting on one end and contemplating my predicament when an African man came over with his kid and said, OH MY you are SO FAT, and I got really upset as if it was a bad thing but to him it wasn't! He thought I was amazing and he (average size) and his little one got on the other end and started playing with me. He told me that in his country I would be worth many many cows and while I laugh now (and often recount the story) then, it was the first time I had an inkling that it wasn't a bad thing and he was not only honest, but admired it and it was sweet.
Ag so sweet man! You would certainly be worth many cows!! One of my uncles told me at a family gathering the other day that my dad would have to ask over 100 head of cows for my lobola (dowry). I laughed for days. It's still kind of sweetly weird how older people think about many things that are now considered ugly and looked on with scorn.
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Old 01-13-2011, 08:39 PM   #58
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Thanks ya'll glad someone gets me. I wish he would.
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Old 02-17-2011, 09:14 PM   #59
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My boyfriends have complimented me on my big legs, "love them sexy thick thighs, girl". I also get complimented on my hips (I don't think I even have much hips). I get complimented alot on my body by men. It seems men have a greater appreciation for curves than women. Women tend to be so critical of each other. I don't really deal with too many women because they are so judgemental of their bodies. I hate it.

But to be called outright fat as in fat girl? I never found that used as a compliment. I don't find the word 'fat' sexy at all. I like the word voluptuous or curvy.
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Old 02-18-2011, 12:35 AM   #60
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Originally Posted by CastingPearls View Post
When I was a little girl I was having fun in a playground and they had those big metal teeter-totters back then but I couldn't play on them unless two kids or an adult were on the other side. One day I was sitting on one end and contemplating my predicament when an African man came over with his kid and said, OH MY you are SO FAT, and I got really upset as if it was a bad thing but to him it wasn't! He thought I was amazing and he (average size) and his little one got on the other end and started playing with me. He told me that in his country I would be worth many many cows and while I laugh now (and often recount the story) then, it was the first time I had an inkling that it wasn't a bad thing and he was not only honest, but admired it and it was sweet.
My best friends husband lives in Jamaica (she is on her way to visit him as we speak) and one visit she was showing her in-laws pictures of her friends and family. Well, her husbands one uncle, a rastafarian, saw a picture of me and wanted to trade her 3 goats and 5 acres of beach property if she would bring me to marry him. I'm still debating on it, lol.
As far as fat being a compliment, I think from the right person, in the right setting, it is. I don't mind it when I'm being intimate with someone and they call me "sexy fat" or whatever. But if it was a constant oh baby, you're so fat...I would get sick of it. Guys are so visual, and just want to be reassuring that they really do like your body, they don't realize that they are over complimenting you...the same thing could be with a very pretty person...or whatever. If you are over complimented on the same thing all the time, it gets old. I think if you tell him that you love the fact that he loves you and your body, but he makes you feel a little uncomfortable when he constantly compliments your fat, he will understand. Guys don't want to be the reason we feel awkward, they want to make us comfortable and appreciated. Well, that's what I think anywayz...
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Old 03-13-2011, 01:52 PM   #61
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I would consider that a compliment (:

I've only really ever been complimented on weight loss (weight loss being entirely unintentional), but it would be nice to hear a compliment directed more towards my curves, as I do take pride it them!
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Old 03-13-2011, 05:08 PM   #62
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I don't so much mind the term fat lol as I mind the reaction of those around me...for example, if a guy turns to me and says "damn baby you fat!" I can take it and respond with anything I want to...whether I say "yup, all the more for that lucky S.O.B. to take and ride with" or "oh really, cause I thought when I got undressed I was a size 2?!?" depending on how it was uttered...BUT it is the look on the faces of those around me like "oh no he didn't" like being called fat is the same as finding out your man just banged your mom; unacceptable. I don't mind being called fat, cause I am fat lol but I am also pretty, funny, smart as hell, clever, sexy ect and I just hope those words and not just fat are used to describe me....though during frisky times I do love it when he tells me my fat is sexy to him since that was the one part of me I was told was always gross and to know it is turn on for him makes me comfortable enough to really get into it and enjoy!!
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