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Old 04-22-2009, 09:59 AM   #1
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Default I got an older big womens #

Hey whats up People of dims hope all is well. You know its funny i recently posted a thread about my attratction to older big women and whether or not ne one else expirenced what i was expierencing. Well just a few days ago i got a number from a women whom ive been wanting to ask for a month now and is 7 years my senior. While that may not really be to much older considering im about to be 21 i have a question know about dating older women. Although right at this moment im not even trying to take this relationship any where other than talking and getting to know her more. I feel like i may eventually(And Hopfeully i can) want to take it somewhere its just right know im not really fit to have a serious relationship beacuase im getting myself together, and although i some people do consider me to be mature for my age i feel like i have a lot of immature traits and i want to get rid of them and im working on it but theres lot still there. So my question is;Is it a problem when a dating a older women that you may still be a bit immature but you are working trying to be more mature person?

P.S. And i do aplogize if this is the wrong thread to be posting this in. If it is please forgive me im still fresh to the forum.
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Old 04-22-2009, 10:37 AM   #2
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Yeah, it can be a problem. After about age 30, there's not much more maturing for either side to do (ymmv), but up until then, it can be difficult to bridge the gap between 21 and 28, for instance. Maturity is something that comes with time, age, experience and environment - you can't really push it along any faster than it wants to go, nor should you, imo. And it certainly shouldn't be attempted just to be with someone. Be true to yourself as you are right now, because that's a good thing, y'know?

But keep in mind that personality has a lot to do with maturity, or the lack of. I know plenty of 30- and 40-somethings that are complete children (some at heart, some in the head). The woman you admire may be young-spirited, fun loving and easy going... making her ideal for your maturity level where you are right now. Don't assume that her numerical age will be an exact indicator of her maturity level. If you two are meant to mesh, you will .
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Old 04-22-2009, 10:40 AM   #3
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Originally Posted by hillking12 View Post
Hey whats up People of dims hope all is well. You know its funny i recently posted a thread about my attratction to older big women and whether or not ne one else expirenced what i was expierencing. Well just a few days ago i got a number from a women whom ive been wanting to ask for a month now and is 7 years my senior. While that may not really be to much older considering im about to be 21 i have a question know about dating older women. Although right at this moment im not even trying to take this relationship any where other than talking and getting to know her more. I feel like i may eventually(And Hopfeully i can) want to take it somewhere its just right know im not really fit to have a serious relationship beacuase im getting myself together, and although i some people do consider me to be mature for my age i feel like i have a lot of immature traits and i want to get rid of them and im working on it but theres lot still there. So my question is;Is it a problem when a dating a older women that you may still be a bit immature but you are working trying to be more mature person?

P.S. And i do aplogize if this is the wrong thread to be posting this in. If it is please forgive me im still fresh to the forum.

You're over-analyzing things, hillking. Relax. Call your female friend, ask her for a date, and don't think any further than going out and having a good time with her. All of these other issues will be dealt with if and when they crop up (i.e., whether both of you are ready for any kind of relationship, if you are well suited to each other, etc).

I don't think that anyone here can really answer that question for your re: maturity. I will say, though, that it is a trait I'd require in someone that I'd want to seriously date. But I wouldn't be ready to make that kind of assessment for a long time. The first step is just to relax, get to know your friend, and don't invest too much emotionally upfront.
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Old 04-22-2009, 11:14 AM   #4
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Default Whoa Nelly!

People can not make themselves magically mature over night. Even if you are mature for your age at almost 21, you are who you are not as mature as you're going to be in twenty or even ten years from now. You are who you are now and that will have to be enough for now.

I fully agree with TraciJo, slow down. You said yourself you do not feel really fit to have a serious relationship because you're still trying to get yourself together. So don't approach this with that mindset; take one thing, one step at a time. She gave you her number, call her. Meet for coffee or drinks and do not go over analyzing everything. What will be, will be. Just enjoy the moment and see where it goes from there.
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Old 04-22-2009, 12:25 PM   #5
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Old 04-22-2009, 05:48 PM   #6
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Originally Posted by TraciJo67 View Post
You're over-analyzing things, hillking. Relax. Call your female friend, ask her for a date, and don't think any further than going out and having a good time with her. All of these other issues will be dealt with if and when they crop up (i.e., whether both of you are ready for any kind of relationship, if you are well suited to each other, etc).

I don't think that anyone here can really answer that question for your re: maturity. I will say, though, that it is a trait I'd require in someone that I'd want to seriously date. But I wouldn't be ready to make that kind of assessment for a long time. The first step is just to relax, get to know your friend, and don't invest too much emotionally upfront.
Yea ur right i do tend to over analyze things. thank you so much for your response and thank you to every one else who responded i really appreciate it.
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Old 04-22-2009, 10:29 PM   #7
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Dude, everyone in their twenties is "getting it together." It's a time in which you're very aware of your flaws, your goals, your passions, your pre-eminent potential, and your blind spots. The fact that you're aware and working on those things is great and better than most.

The biggest thing between 20 and 28 is date options. Once you turn 21, a whole world will open up. I wouldn't worry about dating a 28 year old; if you're into each other, it could be really fun. One step at a time.

Hopefully you're not collecting digits like an intern collecting business cards. Call the girl!
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Old 04-23-2009, 09:32 AM   #8
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Dude, everyone in their twenties is "getting it together." It's a time in which you're very aware of your flaws, your goals, your passions, your pre-eminent potential, and your blind spots. The fact that you're aware and working on those things is great and better than most.

The biggest thing between 20 and 28 is date options. Once you turn 21, a whole world will open up. I wouldn't worry about dating a 28 year old; if you're into each other, it could be really fun. One step at a time.

Hopefully you're not collecting digits like an intern collecting business cards. Call the girl!
well i do appreciate the input brotha. ive already talked to her twice already and surpisingly enough shes already invited me to her apartment to watch movies dnt know if that really means much at this point im just takeing it as a freindly movie night and thats it.
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Old 04-26-2009, 07:11 PM   #9
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A proud Urban Cougar just walked into the thread......my last serious relationship was with a man seven years my junior. I have been on dates with guys in their twenties and thirties since I started dating again.


For me, these is a difference when the guy hits his thirties (I am 40 myself).
I EXPECT more maturity out of a thirty-something....I might consider a more serious level of commitment from a thirty something. A guy seven years younger? And? You have been into full-throttle adulthood for well over a decade....and I'm not looking for Peter Pan.

In my thirties...heck even in my late twenties, to be honest, I grew more serious in my outlook on life and how I could take care of myself and my family.
That's not to say I didn't carry a lot of responsibility before that...but just realized that I needed to be able to take care of myself better and took the steps necessary to do so. It's not too much to expect a man to do the same- even if he's a little bit younger.


All this being said, though, seven years isn't that big of a age difference once over thirty (as someone else said already). A lot of women seem to be getting into younger guys anymore.....it's worth a shot my friend. I would think someone in her twenties might not mind a younger guy. But then again, my head was in a different place at that age....so who knows? I don't think you will be any worse off for the asking.
Relax....just start it off easy. See how it goes......
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Old 04-27-2009, 09:00 PM   #10
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A wise man once told me "I figure you spend the first 25 years of your life getting your head out of our ass and the next 25 figuring out where to put it."
This is anecdotal and crude, but sounds wise to me.

On the other hand, I'm only 25 myself, so what do I know?

On the other other hand, I'm dating a hot, intelligent woman 14 years older than me, and things are going great, so I apparently know something.
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Old 04-27-2009, 09:43 PM   #11
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well i do appreciate the input brotha. ive already talked to her twice already and surpisingly enough shes already invited me to her apartment to watch movies dnt know if that really means much at this point im just takeing it as a freindly movie night and thats it.
LMAO woohooo I had a few "movie nights " there Babe,.. Movie night is "usually" lights off,... sitting close, pretending to concentrate on the movie,. and the "plot" when all you are thinking is "OH my Goodness, wow i wanna _________ her/him" !!! Depending on your extreme , you fill the blank in yourself!
Its a great opportunity for intimacy!! IMO
And congrats!! SO glad you get her digits!
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Old 04-27-2009, 09:52 PM   #12
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LMAO woohooo I had a few "movie nights " there Babe,.. Movie night is "usually" lights off,... sitting close, pretending to concentrate on the movie,. and the "plot" when all you are thinking is "OH my Goodness, wow i wanna _________ her/him" !!! Depending on your extreme , you fill the blank in yourself!
Its a great opportunity for intimacy!! IMO
And congrats!! SO glad you get her digits!
I love those moments... but God, the blueballs SUCKS... women just cannot imagine that problem. All this world ever needed was for people to enjoy their lives and have fun.. we work hard, so why in the hell not????
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Old 04-27-2009, 10:17 PM   #13
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I love those moments... but God, the blueballs SUCKS... women just cannot imagine that problem. All this world ever needed was for people to enjoy their lives and have fun.. we work hard, so why in the hell not????


Hmmm women get the equal to blue balls I am SURE of that UCB!!!! LMAO
But this is all true!
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Old 04-29-2009, 04:16 PM   #14
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...shes already invited me to her apartment to watch movies dnt know if that really means much at this point im just takeing it as a freindly movie night and thats it.
looks like you got it right.
too many times have i encountered people who assume that a simple movie night is an invitation to other things. NOT ALWAYS TRUE!
if more comes of it, so be it, and you'll both know if it feels right. but otherwise, it seems like you've got it all figured out. best of luck, man.
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Old 05-02-2009, 05:48 PM   #15
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there is nothing at all wrong with it as long as you are ready for the kind of relationship she wants to have and you don't feel pressured. playful, serious--- as long as you are in. i think that as an older woman all i really worry about is if the person is ready. sometimes its someone who still needs to explore.

at 45 i want something serious, but i'm not every 45 yr old woman. so it all depends on the person. i might feel its unfair to ask a very young or a very inexperienced man to try and meet my needs. and at my age i am definitely looking to have my needs met and i'm less patient about a lot of things i would have been ok with in my 20s. i'm highly complimented when i am the target of a cougar poach but it takes a lot for me to succumb.

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