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Old 07-18-2011, 03:33 PM   #176
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Thank you for understanding In a forum this size I sometimes get intimidated since it can feel like everyone already knows each other and I don't want to be intruding in other people's business, but the more I post the easier it is becoming. I am glad to know I am not as alone as I feel (I guess that goes back to how huge this forum is, with so many people there's bound to be a handful who share my experiences!) and that I have not come across as an elitist thin girl or something ridiculous.
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Old 07-18-2011, 04:05 PM   #177
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...that I have not come across as an elitist thin girl or something ridiculous.
Don't worry about that, someone else is currently filling that role. Feel free to post anywhere you like, just do so with understanding and respect and you will do well here.
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Old 07-18-2011, 07:09 PM   #178
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I certainly don't think its policy more than 'that's just the way it is', which seems really unfair as here and the BMH/FFA boards are really the only place nonBBW women are really encouraged to post about their preferences and it feels as though their opinions and experiences really don't matter which is frustrating when there's already very few places for us to begin with.
Congratulations, you brought me out of Dims retirement (just temporarily). I'm one of the thin FFAs on this board and until my recently self-imposed hiatus (too much work to do) I used to post all over this place. Ask any of these long time posters, I never shut up. Looking at your join date, it seems you joined right around the time this FA/FFA Forum came into existence, so I'll give you a little background. I was one of those who fought for it and at the time, we had quite a few FFAs issue statements of support for it, to show to the Webmaster that it wouldn't become a "boys club." Sadly, many of us who posted around the boards at that time, just don't post here anymore (life and stuff), but this board started as a place for male and female FA voices and in the very beginning, there was a lot of camaraderie and many found shared experiences as FAs across gender lines.

I've been here a long time, and I have many friends from this board in real life and/or who I communicate with via email, etc if they live far away and I'd say more than half of them are BBW or male FA. This community is very accepting, you just have to find your way around it as a thin FFA. A lot of male FA are really welcoming once you start posting here and a lot of BBW and male FA are really welcoming if you post in the other boards. The thing to remember is the context. There are actually only a couple of male FAs who I have ever seen post anything offensive to thin women and only a couple of BBWs who have either and in every case, BBWs are the first to rush to the defense of the thin women. Trust me. Are you going to see posts about how wonderful and preferable a fat woman's body is? Of course, but as an FFA that should make perfect sense. We talk about how great fat guys are, but no one means to disrespect the other body type. We're just celebrating what we like at a place designed for that type of discussion. The "skinny bitch" or "ugly twig" stuff is REALLY, REALLY rare and most people see it for what it is, just an individual poster with an individual issue.

As great as the BHM/FFA board can be, it is shallow and I ventured off it seeking to discuss other issues as an FFA in greater depth and I found it here and on the main boards. Go ahead and post away, just remember praising fat women isn't a slam at us thinnies. You'll meet some great people here on the other side of the boards (to add to the great folks on the BHM/FFA board) you really will.
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Old 09-11-2011, 10:30 PM   #179
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Non BHM straight male FA

I confess I know a lot of bhms & always derive a particularly good chuckle when meeting their ffa partners. There's always this holarious moment where they look at me & my girl & then we exchange a very subtle nod as if to say, "fuck yeah! Fatties are the best!" To one another.

Of course if they get to the bar late & I've had a couple I'll usually say it to them which is even more holarious. Its the best "Gotcha!M moment I've ever experienced & most of the ffas blush quite addorably, put their hands in their pockets, look down at their shoes, kick an imaginary rock, look at the bhm, look at me. & then happily resign "Yeah.." all smiles by the end of that last cylibal =)
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Old 09-14-2011, 05:09 AM   #180
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IC to taking some pix/vids of a squashing session and 2 ssbhm's doing martial arts with each other. ..LOL.
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Old 09-14-2011, 06:26 PM   #181
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IC that I don't pipe up much on anything important here because I'm not one of the "good" FAs and I don't want to ruin things for those who are.
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Old 09-15-2011, 03:58 AM   #182
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IC that I don't pipe up much on anything important here because I'm not one of the "good" FAs and I don't want to ruin things for those who are.
No one is "good" or "bad" 100% of the time no matter what anyone tries to tell you.
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Old 09-15-2011, 04:29 AM   #183
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No one is "good" or "bad" 100% of the time no matter what anyone tries to tell you.
I'm more lamenting the general vibe I get from here and other fat-friendly/fat-acceptance sites...that the bi-sizual guy is the "right" kind of FA, and the ones who enjoy the fat a bit too much. or have weight gain fantasies, or feedist leanings, or any other non-vanilla form of the FA thing are viewed as "creepers", "fetishists," and are talked about as things to be avoided.

Heck, when the majority of women on a certain feedism-centric website (that will go unnamed) post in their profiles in all caps that they aren't interested in feedist ANYTHING just makes me wonder what's the damn point.
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Old 09-15-2011, 06:01 AM   #184
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I think you are fine, in that you do talk about other things. It is the ones who only post about weight gain, feeding, stuffing, how fat someone looks, etc, that get the real creeper vibe.

Mind you, you may be less beloved by some if you were more vocal about your likes, but in the end, being liked for who you are is probably a happier state than being liked for what people project onto you.
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Old 09-15-2011, 06:05 AM   #185
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I'm more lamenting the general vibe I get from here and other fat-friendly/fat-acceptance sites...that the bi-sizual guy is the "right" kind of FA, and the ones who enjoy the fat a bit too much. or have weight gain fantasies, or feedist leanings, or any other non-vanilla form of the FA thing are viewed as "creepers", "fetishists," and are talked about as things to be avoided.

Heck, when the majority of women on a certain feedism-centric website (that will go unnamed) post in their profiles in all caps that they aren't interested in feedist ANYTHING just makes me wonder what's the damn point.
I've always found it ironic how it seems to be acceptable for BBWs to list out what makes a good FA, but when an FA gets specific about what he favors in a woman be it physical or otherwise he's shallow or a "bad FA" even.

To me it's more amusing then frustrating since I do most of my meeting of the opposite sex outside of the Internet, but I do see what you are saying.

Take heart though. If there is anything to the whole good or bad FA thing you are certainly ranked higher then me around here since I spend a good deal of my time on this site in the library and that usually gets looked upon disfavorably around these parts
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Old 09-15-2011, 08:39 AM   #186
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Having published many thousands of personal ads in the long-gone print edition of Dimensions, it's clear to me that, by and large, males and females simply have different things in mind when they contemplate or describe a desired mate. Both sides really want the same -- a functional, fulfilling relationship -- but the initial ideal wish list is fundamentally different.
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Old 09-16-2011, 12:33 AM   #187
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IC to taking some pix/vids of a squashing session and 2 ssbhm's doing martial arts with each other. ..LOL.
I confess I'm going to play innocent and pretend I don't know who or what your talking about

Ok fine, I confess it was fun.
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Old 10-11-2011, 08:25 PM   #188
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IC that I feel like as an FA that I am at best someone to be settled for.
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Old 10-11-2011, 10:31 PM   #189
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I confess that I am very unsatisfied with the girls I know and I am dying to meet new ones.
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Old 10-25-2011, 04:23 PM   #190
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IC that I was so floored when someone used the term FA in casual conversation outside the Internet that I was unable to gather myself in time to participate in the discussion.
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Old 11-15-2011, 10:04 AM   #191
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There are times where I've wondered how much of an FA I am compared to some of the people here, in that I tend to notice a broader range of sizes and don't necessarily feel that bigger is better.

Then there are times that confirm for me that I'm an FA. My son is going to a neat class/club run by one of local universities, and it happened that it was most convenient, this past Saturday, to be there half an hour early and just read while waiting for him. There was no shortage of university students going by, I'm sure many of them were women, but the only person who pulled my eyes away from my book was a SSBBW mom who came to pick up her kids. Obviously even at the totally subconcious level I'm an FA, immediately noticing the BBW in my vicinity.
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Old 11-15-2011, 07:36 PM   #192
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I confess that I occasionally take longer then necessary hiatuses from posting here on Dims. Mostly due to my job - but a lot of the time it's just me forcing myself to say something.

I'm naturally shy - I just cover myself well...
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Old 11-22-2011, 07:41 AM   #193
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Default wordy post im sorry haha

i confess... this is my first post with a new account... on my old one i said something in the 2011 singles thread that i meant as a joke and absolutely no one perceived it as such and i was getting a lot of hateful PM's. not knowing how to explain it was a joke and apologize to so many people, i just left the site for a while and came back with this account.

another confession - i think big women are more than just a preference to me. i practically idolize them. i dont put down skinny girls, i been with 2 (1 was my first love), but i think big women uphold greater femininity, and theres something mystifying about being able to feel their whole soft body, as opposed to a skinny girl givin you the hairy eyeball for caressing the belly area and whatnot. hahah.
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Old 12-08-2011, 01:14 PM   #194
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IC I'm rather shocked at how many people are over 600 pounds ( and close to 1000) and it makes me wonder how many there in the wood works that are just not vocal about it. I used to check Guinness World Records from time to time but I don't think they can keep up with all the folks coming out these days.
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Old 06-11-2012, 10:26 AM   #195
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First: I confess I had to look onto the 2nd page to find this thread....nobody has anything to confess on the FA front anymore?

Second: Of the 30-ish full time and contract employees at my company, 0.2 of them have been female (that is, our finance admin comes in one day a week, everyone else here is male). That is, until today. New contractor started who is female, very good at what she does, and a lovely BBW. It makes for a pleasant change in the esthetics around here (Sadly for me, she is only here for a week, then will be working remotely). Still makes for a nice change.
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Old 06-12-2012, 02:20 PM   #196
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I have just started a new job after quitting my last one just one year into the contract. It was one of the most illuminating and yet also the most identity-challenging years of my life working in medical research (managing a global non-communicable disease meta-analysis - including BMI/disease analyses). Not sure where I'll write more about it all yet but I've got a lot to say after acquiring quite the insider perspective on the cabal of shills my former colleagues used to refer to as the 'global BMI lobby'.

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Old 10-09-2012, 01:44 PM   #197
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My network operator blocks me getting porn on my mobile phone, thats why I google "plus size lingerie" :O)
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Old 10-10-2012, 06:44 AM   #198
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My son is 14, and it is quite clear that he is nothing like an FA. He is still violently opposed to letting anything like romance into his life, seeing it as nothing but an opportunity for pain and humiliation, but he's not been able to conceal some crushes. They have all been slight of build, fairly active, with long hair and big eyes.....basically like a huge percentage of guys out there.

Having normal tastes is, well, normal I guess. But to my surprise I discovered that I was a bit disappointed. I'd hidden it well from myself, but I guess I'd hoped he'd be an FA or at least like a variety of sizes, or failing that would have some other quirk of taste that took him away from looking at the same women as most other guys are.
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Old 10-10-2012, 08:58 AM   #199
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My son is 14, and it is quite clear that he is nothing like an FA. He is still violently opposed to letting anything like romance into his life, seeing it as nothing but an opportunity for pain and humiliation, but he's not been able to conceal some crushes. They have all been slight of build, fairly active, with long hair and big eyes.....basically like a huge percentage of guys out there.
Give the poor boy a break!
This is way premature judgement!

As you said - his official line is still 'no girls - no love - no way' - which is totally normal at his age.
When he and his probably equally unnerving little male peers get together, they'll probably all loudly state how awful those girls are ... and then in gruff undertones admit though that "so-and-so, conventionally pretty girl A - is kinda cool" - and most likely your son is just following that pattern, orienting his behavior on that of his pals, trying to integrate - because that's what's most important in the early teens.

Only few people can and want to deal with being off mainstream at that age. But it's something you grow out of ... and as soon as he hits about college age, there's room for individual preferences and personality development again.

So give him a chance - and revisit his relationship and sexual preferences again in 10 years to make a sounder assessment!
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Old 10-10-2012, 09:26 AM   #200
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I'm entirely willing to find myself proven wrong--in fact I'd be delighted to be in this case.

But looking at the big picture, with lots of bits of info I didn't try and list, I doubt that I am :-/

Needless to say, we do make a point of teaching size tolerance. Even if he never gets comfortable with fat, he can at least learn to keep it to himself.
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