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Old 05-02-2009, 08:31 PM   #1
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Default Fa's and your own Weight

This is kinda inspired by the why are you fat thread on the health board, as i was reading i noticed that i wanted to respond but didn't want to derail that thread, so here's my own version.

Oddly and i'v heard this from a couple other Fa's that although I love BBW's and SSBBW's and am slightly into feeding and encouraging. i am against gaining weight myself. I was an overweight kid my mother and i did weight watchers together etc etc. i'm not slim by any means, i'm currently 5'11" and i vary between 190 and 220 lbs.

as i read through the thread on the health board i realized that i do love food, and at times in my life have overindulged, but i usually try to limit myself. i honestly for myself don't want to be much bigger than i am. on top of that when i was much younger Before i even knew anything about Fa's and BBW's i had fantasy's about being bigger and experimented with Clothes stuffing.

The question i have for myself i guess is, am i an Fa that Should be a BHM? or Am I an fa and all that previous adolescent stuff was just a way to discover i prefer a fat partner !

Honestly i was never very confident when i was heavier and never felt comfortable at that weight i think i was around 280 at my heaviest, i feel great around 190. The funny thing was last summer i got down to around 190 and was finally back in a 34 waist pant and i was psyched, but i'm dating a Beautiful SSBBW and it seemed very strange to celebrating my weight loss while i adored and worshiped her Big curves.

Thoughts or similar experiences?
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Old 05-02-2009, 11:43 PM   #2
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My tendencies towards being an FA arose when I was "Chubby." I wasn't much bigger than I was now, but I was a lot shorter which gave my peers the appearance that I was really big.

At the same time I was learning about Size Acceptance and HAES, which changed my perspective drastically on size and my relationship with my body. I was active while I was that size, but my whole concept behind it changed from always striving to improve how I look, to always striving to improve/maintain how healthy, fit, and functionally able I was. Those are still my main laws of working out today. That and I learned to love to exercise too.

I do have days where my body image goes down the tubes, but it's more often because my body isn't working right (Like my knee screwing with me while I was trying to work my legs ) than how it looks, even though I still have those days. I'm not into gaining for myself or others, and I don't care about how my body looks so much as how it functions.
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Old 05-02-2009, 11:51 PM   #3
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I'm about 220, give or take. Haven't weighed myself in about 6 months, and don't really care either way. I'm not interested in gaining personally, as I don't like how I feel when I get much heavier than I am now. I've got chronic back pain that's exacerbated immensely when I carry much more weight and don't exercise.

I guess that didn't really answer your question, but there ya' go.
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Old 05-03-2009, 12:24 AM   #4
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I'm naturally thin, there's heart and blood pressure issues in my family, and I like the contrast of my thin, hard body and her soft, curvy body. I'm fine where I'm at!
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Old 05-03-2009, 01:24 AM   #5
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i've had weight issues my whole life, i was pretty big at various stages as a kid and never really dipped bellow 'chubby' until after high school when i was on almost a starvation diet and dropped to my adult low weight of around 160 pounds. mind you i have a very large frame and i looked just very ... "not right" for me. since then i've been at my highest adult weight, back down, and really all over the place. i also go on gym tears where i'll work out 5-6 days a week and drink protein shakes and pack on a bunch of muscle then get completely burnt out on it. i find myself losing again right now but who knows how long that will last.

in terms of how it relates to my FA-ism, when i was bigger as a kid i experimented a bit with indulging and weight gain fantasies and things of this nature but ultimately it never really did it for me. i did it again later in life too but once again found that it just really doesn't work. however, though i wouldn't call myself a feeder, i do appreciate and am turned on by indulgence and WG in my partner .. so who knows. it's a weird, long road and i don't care enough to parse it down to every last detail.
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Old 05-03-2009, 02:17 AM   #6
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I've recently lost 15 pounds and I'm very proud of that. I love it when people come up to me and tell me I great I look now. It's not that I think fat is ugly, isn't just not for me. I love fat on women, but I feel more comfortable being a thin man. In fact, the greater the size difference between me and my girlfriends, the sexier I think it is. I would compare it to the any couple you have seen where the guy is a muscular bodybuilder type and the woman isn't. Just because a girl is attracted to big muscles, doesn't mean she wants 22 inch biceps.
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Old 05-03-2009, 07:32 AM   #7
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as a women loving big guys ...I have struggled with my weight all my life, much like some of the posters here already......I have not really ever desired to be larger, but have fantasized it and played with it minimally. Ultimately I would love to be the *HARD BODY* in contrast to his soft yummy fluffiness
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Old 05-03-2009, 08:06 AM   #8
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This is a very interesting topic. It is good to see the other side of things. When I was younger I dated a guy who was a personal trainer. I always wondered why a fit hard body guy wanted an ssbbw back then. I do prefer when the man is smaller than me, it just seems to be a better fit.
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Old 05-03-2009, 08:29 PM   #9
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I'm naturally thin and wish I wasn't. Sometimes I hate it.
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Old 05-04-2009, 07:55 AM   #10
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... The question i have for myself i guess is, am i an Fa that Should be a BHM? or Am I an fa and all that previous adolescent stuff was just a way to discover i prefer a fat partner!...?
You're not alone there. I've heard this story from FAs many times over the years. I think it's just a natural part of our fascination and love affair with fatness and being/getting fat. As far as I am concerned, FAs should experience and enjoy all aspects of their orientation, whatever that may be. That does not mean, however, that just because we prefer a fat partner, we need to be a certain body type ourselves.
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Old 05-04-2009, 12:42 PM   #11
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You're not alone there. I've heard this story from FAs many times over the years. I think it's just a natural part of our fascination and love affair with fatness and being/getting fat. As far as I am concerned, FAs should experience and enjoy all aspects of their orientation, whatever that may be. That does not mean, however, that just because we prefer a fat partner, we need to be a certain body type ourselves.
I definitely agree Conrad, and I think the variety of body sizes we FAs have also works out for the large sized people as well. Many of the large sized people don't necessarily want to have a large sized partner.

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I'm naturally thin and wish I wasn't. Sometimes I hate it.
I can completely relate to what you are saying Mathias. When I was younger I was always very thin and I also hated it. People would complement me if I looked like I gained weight. I sometimes wonder if part of my attraction to fat is some form of "fat envy", I've always admired those who could easily grow fat and wanted to gain weight myself. Only since passing the age of 30 have I been able to gain weight and fill out somewhat. When I realized I could gain weight, I attempted to do so in an unhealthful manner and paid the consequences health wise. I again lost weight but have gained it back eating more healthy food. I suppose my situation is the classic "the grass is greener on the other side of the fence..." like fat people who wish they were thinner and thin people (such as myself...) wishing they were fatter.
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Old 05-04-2009, 12:56 PM   #12
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I'm a very small woman, to the point where I have insults hurled at me for looking "anorexic" or just generally "gross." I'm sure that if I gained 15-20 lbs and reached a "healthy" BMI the insults would stop, but honestly....fuck 'em. Why should I have to change to appease some random assholes?

Also, it sounds so shallow, but my main reason for staying thin is the fact that I don't have enough money to replace my *awesome* wardrobe. Oh, and I guess my fiance likes my body the way it is....
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Old 05-04-2009, 01:15 PM   #13
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Well, I'm one of the sort of FA where my being fat has always appealed just about as much as my partner being fat. Right from when I first felt fat as being erotic, it was as almost a bond between me and a partner, both fat. My FA side is stronger than my wanting to be fat myself, but not by all that much.
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Old 05-04-2009, 03:03 PM   #14
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I can completely relate to what you are saying Mathias. When I was younger I was always very thin and I also hated it. People would complement me if I looked like I gained weight. I sometimes wonder if part of my attraction to fat is some form of "fat envy", I've always admired those who could easily grow fat and wanted to gain weight myself. Only since passing the age of 30 have I been able to gain weight and fill out somewhat. When I realized I could gain weight, I attempted to do so in an unhealthful manner and paid the consequences health wise. I again lost weight but have gained it back eating more healthy food. I suppose my situation is the classic "the grass is greener on the other side of the fence..." like fat people who wish they were thinner and thin people (such as myself...) wishing they were fatter.

I can't seem to gain weight no matter what I do. All of my friends think it's great, but my legs are so skinny that I'm embarrassed to wear shorts.
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Old 05-04-2009, 06:42 PM   #15
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I can't seem to gain weight no matter what I do. All of my friends think it's great, but my legs are so skinny that I'm embarrassed to wear shorts.
I completely understand Mathias, I've been there. In some ways people can be just as harsh on thin people (and refer to them as wimps etc...) as they are on fat people. We all have to make due with what we have in life, we all find a certain comfort zone at some point and acceptance for who we are by others. You'll find that place also, perhaps here in Dimensions or elsewhere.

As for gaining weight, all that worked for me was old age and more protein.
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Old 05-04-2009, 08:41 PM   #16
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Fat or skinny it's always hard to learn to live with yourself in your own skin.

I have always been chubby but in my approaching middle age I have definatly fallen into the BHM catagory. In fact by the Goverment charts I am very fat but I have never much trusted the goverment charts.
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Old 05-04-2009, 11:09 PM   #17
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I'm a very small woman, to the point where I have insults hurled at me for looking "anorexic" or just generally "gross." I'm sure that if I gained 15-20 lbs and reached a "healthy" BMI the insults would stop, but honestly....fuck 'em. Why should I have to change to appease some random assholes?

Also, it sounds so shallow, but my main reason for staying thin is the fact that I don't have enough money to replace my *awesome* wardrobe. Oh, and I guess my fiance likes my body the way it is....
I can relate to all of that!

I'm close to my set-point, actively gaining or losing will take too much effort. I get an equal amount of "too thin" and "too fat" comments at this weight anyway, so they kind of cancel each other out.
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Old 05-05-2009, 06:44 AM   #18
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Well, I'm one of the sort of FA where my being fat has always appealed just about as much as my partner being fat. Right from when I first felt fat as being erotic, it was as almost a bond between me and a partner, both fat. My FA side is stronger than my wanting to be fat myself, but not by all that much.
This, exactly.
I have gained quite a bit of weight recently unintentionally, i think about 3 st in about a year. My gf doesnt want me to gain any more. She is not an Fa, so that is fair enough.
When i was younger my fantasies were 50/50 thinking about others and myself being fat. I think now that i can have (well have) a partner who is fat, i would say that percentage has shifted slightly to fantasies about myself being fat. I am happy with my body now and was also happy with it when i was thinner. Gaining weight in real life wouldn't be a turn on for me i dont think, as it would be fraught with more insecurity than pleasure.. i guess this ties into my Fa guilt too. I'm sure i have more to add but i can't think right now.
Hmm..Good question Haunted!!. x
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Old 05-05-2009, 12:42 PM   #19
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I'm 150. Never been higher, never want to be (unless it's muscle). I've actually been pretty insecure about my own weight for most of my life, and I sometimes find myself shocked at comments I make at the dinner table ("I had a soda yesterday, so none today!" or "Hey [Friend X], what do you think has less calories- the chicken tender wrap or the caesar salad?"). I'm by no means anorexic, but I scare myself sometimes with the way I start thinking...

I don't really think this has anything to do with being an FA...
What I want for myself and what I'm looking for in a partner are two different things, and that's fine.
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Old 05-06-2009, 09:23 PM   #20
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I've always been tall with a slender build. I'm 6' 165lbs. I have a very high
metabolic rate,I'm also an athlete martial artist I've never had a problem
with my weight and I very much like the way that I am Now,I've had very few
bbw's that I had an interest in,and they would have a problem with my weight!!!
And say things like "you need to put on some weight" And me knowing me,knows that putting on weight is very hard for me!! Then I've had the bbw's that took me as is,and loved me They also loved my figure
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Old 05-07-2009, 02:55 AM   #21
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hehe 'The bbws'. You make it sound like they are a clan or a tribe of creatures! Like the Amazons....
Hmmm..actually ..i'm off for some 'me time'!
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Old 05-08-2009, 03:43 AM   #22
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Our society focusses so much on weight...

But anyways....alot of it is the contrast....being an FFA if we polled the BHM board, I'm pretty sure theyd agree...not saying they wouldnt date a bigger girl, bc people on here are the least shallow when it comes to looks, body sahpe, etc (I love it here) Just like I prefer fat men....but will date a thinner guy if the personality is there.

Me I've been up and down...roller coaster really....at the moment I'm 116. It's completely normal how your thinking. once again, if we poll the FA/FFA board, a large majority (estimating here) would say that they do feel compelled to be thinner...many of us have had or do have ED's. This is a very interesting topic....its a phenomenon I dont think Ill be able to try to explain at 7 in the morning...

Hope all is well everyone!
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Old 05-08-2009, 03:45 AM   #23
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Location: Akron, Ohio
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SoliloquyOfaSiren can now be the recipient of "two cans" jokesSoliloquyOfaSiren can now be the recipient of "two cans" jokes
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Sorry for saying "poll" incessantly...I feel like Im starting to act like Ross Perot
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So shall we recap this pathetic life?
I'll role the clip, you'll hold the knife.
Rewind back to when you cared,
then fast-forward to the scars we bare.
And we'll open our eyes to find everything's fading.
Reckon it's fatal, but just look at the ratings.
Because the populace indulges through TV screens,
TiVo the laughter and mute the screams.
Thus we bottle all our tears inside,
repress the pain till our hearts collide...
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Old 05-08-2009, 09:40 AM   #24
cammy
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cammy carries a lot of weight on this boardcammy carries a lot of weight on this boardcammy carries a lot of weight on this boardcammy carries a lot of weight on this boardcammy carries a lot of weight on this boardcammy carries a lot of weight on this board
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I'm thin, but not skinny - 5'4" and 127 lbs. I've never weighed much more and likely never will, but I have fantasized about being heavier - fat is just so damn sexy.

What the heck is ED? eating disorder, erectile disfunction, Ed (of Ed TV)???
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Old 05-08-2009, 09:51 AM   #25
Cors
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Location: Europe
Posts: 2,762
Cors keeps pushing the rep limit!Cors keeps pushing the rep limit!Cors keeps pushing the rep limit!Cors keeps pushing the rep limit!Cors keeps pushing the rep limit!Cors keeps pushing the rep limit!Cors keeps pushing the rep limit!Cors keeps pushing the rep limit!Cors keeps pushing the rep limit!Cors keeps pushing the rep limit!Cors keeps pushing the rep limit!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cammy View Post
I'm thin, but not skinny - 5'4" and 127 lbs. I've never weighed much more and likely never will, but I have fantasized about being heavier - fat is just so damn sexy.

What the heck is ED? eating disorder, erectile disfunction, Ed (of Ed TV)???
Eating disorder.
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