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Old 04-02-2010, 10:14 AM   #126
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Originally Posted by Paragon_of_boredom View Post
This seems like a good place to start my community adventure.

My story is a bit short because my preference was pretty much announced to everyone at a party. My friends were making jokes about each other and when they reached me they hit the nail on the head. My best friend in jest said "Thats your type of girl man" while pointing at the largest girl at the party. I agreed with a sheepish smile which led to them asking questions. After a brief yet detailed reply we all returned to the party. Its not exactly the most captivating tale but my friends all accepted my fetish.

As for my family they all found out after I exited puberty. They would catch me glancing at the many bbws and ssbbws in town.
I'm glad you have friends and family that are so accepting. Good for you pal.
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Old 04-08-2010, 12:15 AM   #127
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From a SSBBW perspective I've experienced men who aren't open about liking fat women. I never thought about them being in the closet I just thought they were dicks. Some of these are my experiences some are my friend's experiences.

* They walk 15 steps ahead of you in public and pretend you're not actually together.
* They pull their hand away in public and look around to see if anyone noticed.
* They only come over to your house at night.
* You've never went on a "real date" in public.
* When you're introduced to family it's "this is my friend" so and so.
* They tell you about how their skinny wife/girlfriend doesn't understand them or make them feel loved they way you do. You find out they're sleeping with 2 other large ladies.

This last one I've seen the most. Men marry a skinny girl and have affairs with fat women. It's sort of like a man/woman marrying a woman/man then dating men/women. It's a front. They weren't strong enough to endure public scrutiny.

I don't think an FA needs to say anything to out themselves. If you're dating a fat girl and holding her hand in public you're out.
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Old 04-08-2010, 10:11 AM   #128
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Originally Posted by Lamia View Post
.
I don't think an FA needs to say anything to out themselves. If you're dating a fat girl and holding her hand in public you're out.
I completely agree.
Why should I tell anyone that a fat female body is arousing to me? I'm married to a SSBBW. Everybody can see that I love a fat woman, I am not able to hide such a big woman. There is not an explanation - some may call this "coming out" - necessary.
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Old 04-08-2010, 12:00 PM   #129
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In my personal experience just being married to a fat woman is not enough. After meeting my wife some uncouth workmates asked why I "settled" for my wife. I had to make clear in no uncertain terms I wanted and chose to be with a fat woman. I mean you don't have to walk around flashing your boner 24/7 but if asked you should be willing to take a stand. Thats what being "out" means to me, that and don't do any of the crap Lamia mentioned.Also, a little PDA never killed anybody.
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Old 04-09-2010, 12:34 AM   #130
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In my personal experience just being married to a fat woman is not enough. After meeting my wife some uncouth workmates asked why I "settled" for my wife. I had to make clear in no uncertain terms I wanted and chose to be with a fat woman. I mean you don't have to walk around flashing your boner 24/7 but if asked you should be willing to take a stand. Thats what being "out" means to me, that and don't do any of the crap Lamia mentioned.Also, a little PDA never killed anybody.
You're awesome. That is true. I think sometimes when people do see someone with a fat mate they think "wow that person let themselves go and what a tropper their mate is for staying with their fat @#$."

It's important for FAs to know that by making a simple gesture of reaching for your mate's hand you're saying to the world I choose this person and I cherish them.

I don't think I am the only fat girl here who has spent their life feeling invisible. It shouldn't matter, but it does make you feel better when you're SO displays public affection for you. When they do that they're taking a stand for you and validating you as a romantic interest.

Block you're awesome too.

Last edited by Lamia; 04-09-2010 at 12:36 AM.
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Old 04-09-2010, 08:16 PM   #131
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You're right, it doesn't have to be a fully involved make-out session but a little hand holding or a pat on the butt every now and then can say a lot. And its okay to want to feel that validation, its natural to want to feel accepted.
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Old 04-09-2010, 09:21 PM   #132
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Originally Posted by Paragon_of_boredom View Post
This seems like a good place to start my community adventure.

My story is a bit short because my preference was pretty much announced to everyone at a party. My friends were making jokes about each other and when they reached me they hit the nail on the head. My best friend in jest said "Thats your type of girl man" while pointing at the largest girl at the party. I agreed with a sheepish smile which led to them asking questions. After a brief yet detailed reply we all returned to the party. Its not exactly the most captivating tale but my friends all accepted my fetish.

As for my family they all found out after I exited puberty. They would catch me glancing at the many bbws and ssbbws in town.
I know your pain dude.
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Old 04-10-2010, 06:07 PM   #133
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You're awesome. That is true. I think sometimes when people do see someone with a fat mate they think "wow that person let themselves go and what a tropper their mate is for staying with their fat @#$."

It's important for FAs to know that by making a simple gesture of reaching for your mate's hand you're saying to the world I choose this person and I cherish them.

I don't think I am the only fat girl here who has spent their life feeling invisible. It shouldn't matter, but it does make you feel better when you're SO displays public affection for you. When they do that they're taking a stand for you and validating you as a romantic interest.

Block you're awesome too.
I agree with you....about both of them
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Old 04-10-2010, 07:40 PM   #134
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Originally Posted by Lamia View Post
You're awesome. That is true. I think sometimes when people do see someone with a fat mate they think "wow that person let themselves go and what a tropper their mate is for staying with their fat @#$."

It's important for FAs to know that by making a simple gesture of reaching for your mate's hand you're saying to the world I choose this person and I cherish them.

I don't think I am the only fat girl here who has spent their life feeling invisible. It shouldn't matter, but it does make you feel better when you're SO displays public affection for you. When they do that they're taking a stand for you and validating you as a romantic interest.

Block you're awesome too.
I told my girlfriend that I would love to do these things for her. Not just to make her good, but to express my true feelings. I heartily approve both posts. His original and your response. You two are good in my book.
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Old 04-10-2010, 11:46 PM   #135
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The last few posts bring up an important point. With the society we live in, it's almost extra important to make cues that show true love and adoration in our case.
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Old 04-11-2010, 10:26 AM   #136
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The last few posts bring up an important point. With the society we live in, it's almost extra important to make cues that show true love and adoration in our case.
I think that should be true for any relationship, not just ones with BBWs/BHMs. Everybody wants to know they're loved.
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Old 04-12-2010, 06:31 AM   #137
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I never had a real coming out. It just wasn't necessary. My friends of course noticed my preference in women and simply accepted it. My family probably knows about it too but they don't care as long as she's a nice girl...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lamia View Post
I don't think I am the only fat girl here who has spent their life feeling invisible. It shouldn't matter, but it does make you feel better when you're SO displays public affection for you. When they do that they're taking a stand for you and validating you as a romantic interest.
Concerning that, you're definately not the only one. At least three of the woman I dated explained to me that they were so happy that I showed my love for them in public, too. Not just at home... At first I could not really understand it since to me it seemed self-evident that I kiss or hold her in public. One of those girls even pointed out that I was the first guy who ever held her hand while taking a walk. On the one hand that made me sad but on the other hand it made me happy because I could give her some of the affection she had been denied so far.
But with these experiences in mind I noticed that showing your affection is really important for woman (especially if they are on the chubby side). So I will just show it even more.
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Old 04-26-2010, 11:13 AM   #138
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Well, like some in this thread, I never 'came out' officially. But most of the women I dated when single - and there were only, maybe, five in total - were on the big side. Tellingly, the two most successful relationships were with quite overweight girls. I married a woman who was overweight and who was an absolute foodee to boot (her gain has been slow and steady since then). And in no way do I disguise my affection for her in public or hide her away or anything. In that sense, my preferences are obvious for all to see.

My view of this is atypical, maybe. I went out with fat women, and married one. I did not ever publicly declare or announce to anyone that 'THIS IS MY SEXUAL PREFERENCE.' If I were to be completely honest, I would say this originated from a combination of embrassment at being ridiculed for being 'weird' AND a more general distaste with being put in a position to publicly talk about my sex life as well as, likely, defend and discuss my preferences. I'm old-school in that sense. People should just live as they please - no need or, worse, requirement to advertise.

The phenomenon of 'coming out' makes sense, especially when a group is targeted for oppression on that basis (e.g., gays and lesbians), so I'm not trying to bash it. But I also think there's something unseemly about the general tendency within our culture to make one's sexuality a public 'issue.' I dislike the whole confessional turn in the culture (of which coming out can be one small part). Our sex lives are no one's business but our own, and - contrary to Freud - we don't need to be defined by our sexuality. And there seems to be something dignified about keeping it that way.

(Of course, you can accuse me of a contradiction here, because obviously I'm on-line and discussing it. I don't think there's all that much of a contradiction there, though - anonymity is its own form of privacy, perhaps. Anyway, I'm not trying to say that coming out is wrong, just that there are other defensible models of living your life).
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Old 09-25-2010, 02:15 PM   #139
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I'm bumping this thread as I've recently received a PM directly related and I think it's important that this thread be available and visible to young/developing FAs who need to know that it's possible and helpful to start living as true to yourself as possible.
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Old 09-25-2010, 02:44 PM   #140
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Me: I like fat girls.

Friend: Okay.

The End.
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Old 09-25-2010, 04:58 PM   #141
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Me: I like fat girls.

Friend: Okay.

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Old 12-04-2010, 09:35 PM   #142
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Well, my mom and brother have been picking on me because the guy I'm currently with is a bhm (annoying, because his personality is incredible (so they really have nothing to complain about) and he's not extreme, just overweight enough to have an amazingly cuddly physique.) I think my dad has already figured out my preferences, but is civilized so he doesn't mention them.

So, one night while on my radio show recently I had a friend co-host. I knew my family would be listening so during a break we rehearsed how he would help me announce my preference on the air. This is how it went down:

Me: Hey, guess what?
Friend: You're a chubby chaser?
Me: Well, actually, yes. Yes I am. Specifically, a beer belly is hot. And I'll never be without a cozy warm hug.
Text message from my mom, listening: WHAAAAAAAAA?!
Text from me, in response: You forgot a t.

The next day, while talking on the phone with her, she brought it up, in a non-critical way. It was pretty cool that just saying that that's what I like and I don't care about what other people think helped her realize that no matter what she thinks, I'll keep going for the big guys because that's just what I'm attracted to.
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Old 12-05-2010, 05:01 AM   #143
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.It was pretty cool that just saying that that's what I like and I don't care about what other people think helped her realize that no matter what she thinks, I'll keep going for the big guys because that's just what I'm attracted to.
Cool story And congratulation your out
Really I love such stories
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Old 12-05-2010, 05:38 AM   #144
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In my own case, "coming out" is irrelevant because the term assumes one was ever hiding it in the first place. Since my first crush was the fattest girl in 2nd grade, it was no secret I'm a Fat Admirer. I do recognize it takes courage for many people to admit to the world that they like fat women, and it's no small matter. However I'm very lucky. Not did I eventually marry that same girl (and my wife is still generally the fattest woman wherever we go ), but it took next to no courage for me to admit I'm a Fat Admirer because I simply didn't care what anyone thought.
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Old 12-05-2010, 05:57 AM   #145
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I am out about being an FA, sure. It's a blessing. I've never received any flak for being an FA, other than partners who weren't too keen on it, usually because of my next point.

I am not so out about being the type of FA who has no limit to how big of a woman he can admire. It's a curse. Always fantasizing about bigger, softer, fatter, when almost every woman would rather be headed in the opposite direction. It sometimes makes me feel like some kind of meta-rapist. I'm completely understanding about someone wanting their body a certain way, but I wish I was made in a way that was compatible with that instead of more more more. It's not that a woman isn't fat enough, it's just that a woman can't be too fat. There's a subtle difference, I guess.
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Old 12-05-2010, 01:26 PM   #146
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When did you start to "come out" because you're straight?

For the guys here who are FAs: you're straight. Big whoop! It's not something you need to get out of the closet to do. Gee.
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Old 12-05-2010, 04:03 PM   #147
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Just wanted to chip in with my two cents on some of the "FAs-cant-be-in-the-closet-because-thats-a-gay-place" sentiment I've been reading.

I think that distancing the metaphor from an FA application, perhaps because it has a gay connotation (?), seems a bit pointless/homophobic when there are so many behavioral similarities.

Similarly, it also seems a bit of a flawed presumption to assume that all readers here are straight?
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Old 12-05-2010, 04:13 PM   #148
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I am not saying all members of Dims are straight. Believe me, I know they are not all straight. What I am saying is this: what's the big deal? If you are a guy, and you fancy fat girls, what's the big deal?

I think everybody should be open about their preferance, but what's the big deal that someone likes fat girls? I don't see a problem with that. What are people afraid of?
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Old 12-06-2010, 01:06 PM   #149
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Orange Mage View Post
I am out about being an FA, sure. .

Always fantasizing about bigger, softer, fatter, . .
And what about real fat women? Are you kissing, holding hands with fat women in public? Or, does that mean that you are out about your fantasies?
Just a question?
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Old 12-06-2010, 07:05 PM   #150
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Scorsese86 View Post
I am not saying all members of Dims are straight. Believe me, I know they are not all straight. What I am saying is this: what's the big deal? If you are a guy, and you fancy fat girls, what's the big deal?

I think everybody should be open about their preferance, but what's the big deal that someone likes fat girls? I don't see a problem with that. What are people afraid of?
While I agree with you, some people do have a difficult time with it. They have internalized certain attitudes that make their FAness feel wrong or uncomfortable. Someone who has grown up looking down on fat people then suddenly finds themselves sexually aroused by them has some shit to work out.
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