The i am too fat for..............Thread

Discodave · 05-16-2009, 12:37 PM

I was bored so thought this might be an interesting thread idea. Pics or descriptions. I shall go first

I am too fat for this chair

WillSpark · 05-16-2009, 04:46 PM

Almsot anythign that's designed for recreation that has springs, such as trampolines not made specifically for added weight.

RacinJason · 05-16-2009, 10:37 PM

I'm too fat to fly in coach comfortably. My knees are into the seat in front of me because I'm 6'5" so it cost a fortune to fly first class. So unless I can get a Midwest Express flight (all first class seats) I try to drive to where I'm going on vacation.

I'm too fat to drive my daughters car. It's a sporty little two door chevy. I can get in it and drive it, but wedging myself out of it SUCKS! I'm also going to have to sell my Viper one of these days because it's starting to kill my back hauling myself out of it.

Bit of advice - You can get fat, just don't get old. It sucks.

bigrugbybloke · 05-17-2009, 07:58 AM

most chairs with side arms and any "boothes" in restaurants - totally avoid them! on another note, went to get some new formal trousers over the weekend and up from a 46" to a 52" under the belly. my butt and thighs must be swelling. cool!

escapist · 05-17-2009, 10:58 AM

Apparently I'm to Fat for couches. Yes I have busted 2 in under a month! I was so freaking embraced, I busted steel welding in one of them. It was worse than the time at a funeral where I busted a chair and yell out "SHIT!" when I hit the ground and it was dead quiet.

WhiteHotRazor · 05-17-2009, 11:00 AM

I'm too fat for girls with small brains...whatever that means haha.

WhiteHotRazor · 05-17-2009, 11:11 AM

Surfing
Pull ups
Certain Rollercoasters
pogo sticks
hang gliders
back flips or any flips for that matter
slam dunks
spelunking
narrow rope bridges
leaning back on aluminum lawn chairs from the 70's
two man luge

i'm sure there's more

Esther · 05-17-2009, 11:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WhiteHotRazor

leaning back on aluminum lawn chairs from the 70's

HAHA. Goddamn it those things are unreliable. I am apparently too fat for those old-as-shit folding lawn chairs as well. I busted one of those last summer at a bonfire, and I think I weighed all of 130 pounds at the time.

RacinJason · 05-17-2009, 05:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by escapist

Apparently I'm to Fat for couches. Yes I have busted 2 in under a month! I was so freaking embraced, I busted steel welding in one of them. It was worse than the time at a funeral where I busted a chair and yell out "SHIT!" when I hit the ground and it was dead quiet.

Bye flexsteel furniture - I only buy that brand and it my friend is TOUGH! You should also get into the habit of carrying a bag chair wherever you go. The Living Large Catalog has bag chairs that can hold 800lbs. I'm 6'5" and in the high 300's and I bought one of these chairs and my feet barely touch the ground and I have all kinds of room.

A bag chair can save you from all kinds of discomfort at outdoor gatherings etc.

MasterShake · 05-17-2009, 08:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RacinJason

I'm 6'5" and in the high 300's and I bought one of these chairs and my feet barely touch the ground and I have all kinds of room.

Wait...you fit in a Viper?!

I'm 6'5", 350, and would have never even thought to try one of those out for size!

Myself, I appear to be too fat for the women here in Kansas City. OTOH, I'm not too fat for a Mini Cooper.

A fair trade, I suppose.

kojack · 05-18-2009, 06:49 AM

All of my medium shirts and pants at the moment. I've been TRYING to lost some chub can I can't get under 230. Now it's going UP.... 235. More things I think I'll be too fat for soon... lol!

edino · 05-18-2009, 12:16 PM

I'm to fat for many things.... chairs, I do not fit or they do not hold me; bench, forget it. On the drivers seat I fit only in some full size SUV's. To walk distances. To lay on a single bed, to get out or in the car when parallel parked... much more I can think of...

Love.Metal · 05-18-2009, 01:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WhiteHotRazor

Surfing
Pull ups
Certain Rollercoasters
pogo sticks
hang gliders
back flips or any flips for that matter
slam dunks
spelunking
narrow rope bridges
leaning back on aluminum lawn chairs from the 70's
two man luge

i'm sure there's more

Best list so far, WHR.
Anyone who can weasel "spelunking" into a conversation with such fluidity most definitely rules.

Laughed my ass off

Zandoz · 05-18-2009, 02:04 PM

What I'm not too fat for would be a much shorter and less embarrassing list...maybe even an empty one.

cakeboy · 05-18-2009, 09:36 PM

1. Gymnastics
2. Training in the secret and deadly ninja arts
3. Swings
4. Swing dancing
5. Water slides
6. Amusement park rides
7. Vespa motor scooters (sorry, pal!)
8. The beach (there's always a Cub scout-type that tries to push me back in the water)
9. Using a bullwhip to swing across a fiery death trap
10. Reduced-fat food products. Seriously, it's like pissing on a forest fire at this point.

pdgujer148 · 05-18-2009, 09:45 PM

Ironically, I am too fat to play Wii Fit.

PhatChk · 05-18-2009, 11:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pdgujer148

Ironically, I am too fat to play Wii Fit.

ha ha hme too!

bigrugbybloke · 05-19-2009, 11:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PhatChk

ha ha hme too!

one of my weird aims its 150kg limit in the uk and weigh in at 139kg today up from 107kg in early 2005. i'm already off the bmi scale on the wii fit as it only goes up to 40 (lol) and mines about 52 but cant wait to break the board

hopefully before 2010!!!

Chef · 05-19-2009, 01:10 PM

I am too fat for the pole vault. Seriously, I haven't tried it, but I'm sure it just wouldn't work.

Surlysomething · 05-19-2009, 01:14 PM

most restaurant booths

*but it's really just a boob thing

Tad · 05-19-2009, 02:49 PM

I’m too fat for the cheap step-stool we used to own (a step buckled).

I’m too fat for bike shorts to fit properly (the assumption seems to be that if you are biking and have a waist my size, you must also be about six and a half feet tall).

I’m too fat to run without at least some jiggling.

I’m almost too fat to get up one water-ski. As it is I get dragged through and at times somewhat under the water for far too many seconds before my parents boat can get up enough speed for me to get up.

BobbyTwoChins · 05-19-2009, 03:40 PM

1.) Jogging
2.) Restaurant Boothes
3.) Doing anything on my knees
4.) Folding Chairs
5.) Plastic Chairs
6.) Store bought T-shirts
7.) 1959 Triumph TR3As

Brooklyn Red Leg · 05-19-2009, 04:38 PM

I'm too fat:

1.) To run a marathon over 20 yards

2.) For some types of coitus
3.) For restaurant booths and/or those shitty McDonalds chairs that are built into the table
4.) To be considered skinny.

5.) To put up with assholes who think fat people suck
6.) To dance the Virginia Reel anymore (::sigh:: I miss Civil War reenacting)

Sugar Magnolia · 05-19-2009, 05:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WhiteHotRazor

Surfing
Pull ups
Certain Rollercoasters
pogo sticks
hang gliders
back flips or any flips for that matter
slam dunks
spelunking
narrow rope bridges
leaning back on aluminum lawn chairs from the 70's
two man luge

i'm sure there's more

Banana Flips?

Brooklyn Red Leg · 05-19-2009, 06:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sugar Magnolia

Banana Flips?

Hehe, I have to ask. What in the hell is a Banana Flip? A twinkie with banana cream filling?

05-16-2009, 12:37 PM	#1
Discodave Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Bonnie Scotland Posts: 67	The i am too fat for..............Thread I was bored so thought this might be an interesting thread idea. Pics or descriptions. I shall go first I am too fat for this chair __________________ I would be delighted to offer any advice I can on understanding women. When I have some, I’ll let you know. -Captain Picard to Data, Star Trek: The Next Generation "An excellent and inventive suggestion, sir, with just two tiny drawbacks: a) We don't have any jet-powered rocket pants; and b) there's no such thing as jet-powered rocket pants" Kryten, Red Dwarf

05-16-2009, 04:46 PM	#2
WillSpark King Of The Robo-Sluts Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: NJ. It's where the cool people hang out. Posts: 1,636	Almsot anythign that's designed for recreation that has springs, such as trampolines not made specifically for added weight. __________________ A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand!

05-16-2009, 10:37 PM	#3
RacinJason Will work for gas. Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Out in front Posts: 118	I'm too fat to fly in coach comfortably. My knees are into the seat in front of me because I'm 6'5" so it cost a fortune to fly first class. So unless I can get a Midwest Express flight (all first class seats) I try to drive to where I'm going on vacation. I'm too fat to drive my daughters car. It's a sporty little two door chevy. I can get in it and drive it, but wedging myself out of it SUCKS! I'm also going to have to sell my Viper one of these days because it's starting to kill my back hauling myself out of it. Bit of advice - You can get fat, just don't get old. It sucks. __________________

05-17-2009, 10:58 AM	#5
escapist Belt Buster! Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Sin City Posts: 2,144	Apparently I'm to Fat for couches. Yes I have busted 2 in under a month! I was so freaking embraced, I busted steel welding in one of them. It was worse than the time at a funeral where I busted a chair and yell out "SHIT!" when I hit the ground and it was dead quiet. __________________ "I don't know whether to eat that or roll around naked in it”." - Anthony Bourdain

05-18-2009, 02:04 PM	#14
Zandoz Highly irregular Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Turn left at the Pharos, then right at the library...Alexandria KY Posts: 6,276	What I'm not too fat for would be a much shorter and less embarrassing list...maybe even an empty one. __________________ Now some they do and some they don't ...and some you just can't tell ...and some they will and some they won't ...with some it's just as well! Blessed is he who has learned to laugh at himself, for he shall never cease to be entertained. -- John Boswell The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool -- William Shakespeare, As You Like It, Act II, Scene VII History doesn't repeat itself - at best it sometimes rhymes -- Mark Twain

05-17-2009, 07:58 AM	#4
bigrugbybloke Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 284	most chairs with side arms and any "boothes" in restaurants - totally avoid them! on another note, went to get some new formal trousers over the weekend and up from a 46" to a 52" under the belly. my butt and thighs must be swelling. cool!

05-17-2009, 11:00 AM	#6
WhiteHotRazor Time Travelling Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Illinois Posts: 868	I'm too fat for girls with small brains...whatever that means haha.

05-17-2009, 11:11 AM	#7
WhiteHotRazor Time Travelling Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Illinois Posts: 868	Surfing Pull ups Certain Rollercoasters pogo sticks hang gliders back flips or any flips for that matter slam dunks spelunking narrow rope bridges leaning back on aluminum lawn chairs from the 70's two man luge i'm sure there's more

05-18-2009, 06:49 AM	#11
kojack kustomized... Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Bay Area, California Posts: 53	All of my medium shirts and pants at the moment. I've been TRYING to lost some chub can I can't get under 230. Now it's going UP.... 235. More things I think I'll be too fat for soon... lol!

05-18-2009, 12:16 PM	#12
edino Junior Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: US Posts: 42	I'm to fat for many things.... chairs, I do not fit or they do not hold me; bench, forget it. On the drivers seat I fit only in some full size SUV's. To walk distances. To lay on a single bed, to get out or in the car when parallel parked... much more I can think of...

05-18-2009, 09:36 PM	#15
cakeboy Douchepuncher Supreme! Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Ontario, Canada Posts: 310	1. Gymnastics 2. Training in the secret and deadly ninja arts 3. Swings 4. Swing dancing 5. Water slides 6. Amusement park rides 7. Vespa motor scooters (sorry, pal!) 8. The beach (there's always a Cub scout-type that tries to push me back in the water) 9. Using a bullwhip to swing across a fiery death trap 10. Reduced-fat food products. Seriously, it's like pissing on a forest fire at this point.

05-18-2009, 09:45 PM	#16
pdgujer148 Breakfast Messiah Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: St. Paul, Minnesota Posts: 1,069	Ironically, I am too fat to play Wii Fit.

05-19-2009, 01:10 PM	#19
Chef Galloping Gourmet Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 659	I am too fat for the pole vault. Seriously, I haven't tried it, but I'm sure it just wouldn't work. __________________ Read the CRU-confirmed E-Mail

05-19-2009, 01:14 PM	#20
Surlysomething You'll shoot your eye out Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Vancouver, BC Posts: 10,533	most restaurant booths *but it's really just a boob thing __________________ "He looks like a deranged Easter Bunny." "He does not!" "He does too, he looks like a pink nightmare!"

05-19-2009, 02:49 PM	#21
Tad mostly harmless Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Ontario, Canada Posts: 10,324	I’m too fat for the cheap step-stool we used to own (a step buckled). I’m too fat for bike shorts to fit properly (the assumption seems to be that if you are biking and have a waist my size, you must also be about six and a half feet tall). I’m too fat to run without at least some jiggling. I’m almost too fat to get up one water-ski. As it is I get dragged through and at times somewhat under the water for far too many seconds before my parents boat can get up enough speed for me to get up. __________________ “I think, at a child's birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift would be curiosity." --Eleanor Roosevelt

05-19-2009, 03:40 PM	#22
BobbyTwoChins Junior Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Warrenton VA Posts: 13	1.) Jogging 2.) Restaurant Boothes 3.) Doing anything on my knees 4.) Folding Chairs 5.) Plastic Chairs 6.) Store bought T-shirts 7.) 1959 Triumph TR3As

05-19-2009, 04:38 PM	#23
Brooklyn Red Leg Anarcho-Capitalism FTW! Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Central Florida Posts: 2,379	I'm too fat: 1.) To run a marathon over 20 yards 2.) For some types of coitus 3.) For restaurant booths and/or those shitty McDonalds chairs that are built into the table 4.) To be considered skinny. 5.) To put up with assholes who think fat people suck 6.) To dance the Virginia Reel anymore (::sigh:: I miss Civil War reenacting) __________________ "Democracy, too, is a religion. It is the worship of jackals by jackasses." - H.L. Mencken Μολὼν λάβε

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