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Old 06-21-2009, 04:18 PM   #1
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Default Male sexual fantasy and a real fat woman

The following quote best describes what has been my experience of what it has been like to be on this site as a fat woman. I am wondering if other women have felt the same way. There seems to be a conflict between a male idolized version of fat femininity "as at once infinitely pliable (soft,plush,giving) and so-out-of-this-world larger -than-life- that women become images "goddesses" to be forced into molds of perfection that no real woman can be comfortable in." Every conversation in fat sexuality is reduced to the immature compartmentalization of various body parts analysis of a male 15 year old.

Have I missed the point of what is really going on here at Dimensions?


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Old 06-21-2009, 04:24 PM   #2
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Stop trying to ruin hard-ons with real discussion about reality Katherine......
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Old 06-21-2009, 04:26 PM   #3
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How so?

Do you have any examples in mind?
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Originally Posted by exile in thighville View Post
all we ask is that those without fetishes respect the notion that the vast majority of fetish-havers know how to reconcile their kink with the dangers of reality just as you would assume your next door neighbor is not a pedophile.
Where there's smoke, there's a smoke-making machine.
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Old 06-21-2009, 04:29 PM   #4
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Originally Posted by Green Eyed Fairy View Post
Stop trying to ruin hard-ons with real discussion about reality Katherine......
So my goal here is to sustain hard on illusion? Is that all there is?
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Old 06-21-2009, 04:32 PM   #5
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Originally Posted by katherine22 View Post
So my goal here is to sustain hard on illusion? Is that all there is?
I think that green eyed fairy was trying to employ sarcasm/humor, as indicated by her sticking-tongue-out smiley face.
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Originally Posted by exile in thighville View Post
all we ask is that those without fetishes respect the notion that the vast majority of fetish-havers know how to reconcile their kink with the dangers of reality just as you would assume your next door neighbor is not a pedophile.
Where there's smoke, there's a smoke-making machine.
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Old 06-21-2009, 04:33 PM   #6
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Originally Posted by Fuzzy Necromancer View Post
How so?

Do you have any examples in mind?
What typically passes for commentary in the Pay site board. I want to make sure that I am more than just fodder for the male imagination if I should be so presumptuous.
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Old 06-21-2009, 04:34 PM   #7
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Originally Posted by Fuzzy Necromancer View Post
I think that green eyed fairy was trying to employ sarcasm/humor, as indicated by her sticking-tongue-out smiley face.
I took it as humor, and so much truth can be revealed in humor, n'est pas?
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Old 06-21-2009, 04:36 PM   #8
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Originally Posted by katherine22 View Post
So my goal here is to sustain hard on illusion? Is that all there is?
Wha????? That's not enough? Living your life to be sexually attractive to others is not THE fulfillment on a site that supposedly is not about fetishes, dating or being fap material to strangers?

I don't know Katherine....I feel really down about some of the shit I read on these boards myself sometimes....and the 'entitlement" of some.....and the idea that I should stfu, do what is expected without question because that's what fat women are all about for some people.
Don't know where you even got that "goddess" idea myself........I see us more as quick, easy, readily available, unquestioning, grateful fap material sometimes....with lip service about loving fat women. They claim to love fat women....as in we are "apart" from other women....then it's a splash of cold water in the face that their idea of "different" is actually more along the lines of "less".

It's been hashed before with some people saying it best by pointing out that "True FAs" aren't guys that fap to fatties- but men that respect women that happen to be fat.
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Old 06-21-2009, 04:37 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fuzzy Necromancer View Post
How so?

Do you have any examples in mind?
I don't know if it was on the Weight Board, but someone started a topic asking where the best beaches were to find pear-shaped women, or something along those lines. You could chalk it up to naivete (or confusing "beach" with "produce section"), but in my perspective, it betrays an over-emphasis on a woman's specific body parts, instead of viewing them as complete people. Last time I checked, you didn't need a big ass to go to the beach.
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Old 06-21-2009, 04:39 PM   #10
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Why it's just FANTASY....FUCKING FANTASY.....LET ME HAVE MY GODDAMN FANTASY......cause dating a real life fat woman is too fucking hard....and requires that I act like a grown up instead of a child always hiding my true self and desires.... and m eans that I have to leave my home....and go out in the real world.......and don't get IMMEDIATE GRATIFICATION.

Goddamn it.....don't expect me to participate in the real world and care about other people. WTF do you think you are?


Women...you aren't worth the effort. Just post me some pics....if you're lucky, I will fap.



Yeah.....I really don't know what you are talking about Katherine
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Old 06-21-2009, 04:42 PM   #11
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Originally Posted by katherine22 View Post
What typically passes for commentary in the Pay site board. I want to make sure that I am more than just fodder for the male imagination if I should be so presumptuous.
Presume away.

I think that a person tends to become part of other people's sexual fantasies when they create a website for the express purpose of presenting sexual fantasies.

I don't see how comments, which you have still not outlined any specific examples of, as in, quoted stuff, actual words, instead if general implication, on the paysite forum, pertaining to paysite models, mean that the whole board is degrading.

Quote:
Have I missed the point of what is really going on here at Dimensions?
I don't know. Have you?

What is the point of Dimensions forums? I don't recall seeing a mission statement anywhere.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by exile in thighville View Post
all we ask is that those without fetishes respect the notion that the vast majority of fetish-havers know how to reconcile their kink with the dangers of reality just as you would assume your next door neighbor is not a pedophile.
Where there's smoke, there's a smoke-making machine.
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Old 06-21-2009, 04:44 PM   #12
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Originally Posted by Green Eyed Fairy View Post
Don't know where you even got that "goddess" idea myself........I see us more as quick, easy, readily available, unquestioning, grateful fap material sometimes....with lip service about loving fat women.
A lot of the rhetoric revolves around "goddesses" being "worshiped," though.

If you'll allow me a very rudimentary experiment:

Searching for forums for "goddess," in thread titles alone, got 114 hits. 95 of those hits are on the paysite board.
Searching thread titles for "women" got 167 hits, 7 of which are on the paysite board.

Now, a lot of those times it's the models referring to themselves as a "goddess," but I'm sure they wouldn't use that marketing strategy if it wasn't effective.
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Old 06-21-2009, 04:44 PM   #13
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I was thinking of that thread too, starwitness. And the pm's I get from guys saying "hi wat do u weight wat is the #?" I HAVE NEVER TALKED TO YOU BEFORE. I AM A PERSON, NOT A NUMBER. CHRIST.
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Old 06-21-2009, 04:46 PM   #14
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[QUOTE=Green Eyed Fairy;1206594]Wha????? That's not enough? Living your life to be sexually attractive to others is not THE fulfillment on a site that supposedly is not about fetishes, dating or being fap material to strangers?

They claim to love fat women....as in we are "apart" from other women....then it's a splash of cold water in the face that their idea of "different" is actually more along the lines of "less".

It's been hashed before with some people saying it best by pointing out that "True FAs" aren't guys that fap to fatties- but men that respect women that happen to be fat.[/QUOTE

I have been wondering what I have been signing on for. Is Dimensions an online place to support male fat fantasy as the primary purpose of engaging here? Maybe I am experiencing the birth pains of some rite of passage Help me out, GEF.
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Old 06-21-2009, 04:47 PM   #15
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basing your opinion of this forum on browsing the paysite board is like basing your opinion of a city on touring it's red light district.
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Old 06-21-2009, 04:50 PM   #16
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Originally Posted by Fuzzy Necromancer View Post

I think that a person tends to become part of other people's sexual fantasies when they create a website for the express purpose of presenting sexual fantasies.


What is the point of Dimensions forums? I don't recall seeing a mission statement anywhere.
If you haven't seen a mission statement, then why do you seem to presume that the site is solely about "other people's" fantasies?

How about some people fantasizing about a a better reality?

Quote:
Originally Posted by StarWitness View Post
A lot of the rhetoric revolves around "goddesses" being "worshiped," though.

If you'll allow me a very rudimentary experiment:

Searching for forums for "goddess," in thread titles alone, got 114 hits. 95 of those hits are on the paysite board.
Searching thread titles for "women" got 167 hits, 7 of which are on the paysite board.

Now, a lot of those times it's the models referring to themselves as a "goddess," but I'm sure they wouldn't use that marketing strategy if it wasn't effective.
All that goddess talk kind of reminds me of how so many rap stars used to call themselves "gangstas".
Don't believe the hype.......


P.S. It seems to me that posting numbers and eating probably gets more hits than titles, btw.......
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Old 06-21-2009, 04:51 PM   #17
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And the pm's I get from guys saying "hi wat do u weight wat is the #?" I HAVE NEVER TALKED TO YOU BEFORE. I AM A PERSON, NOT A NUMBER. CHRIST.
Heh, that's one of the reasons I haven't posted a(n in-focus) photo of myself. I don't have any illusions about being irresistibly gorgeous, but it seems like so many other women have gotten unwanted advances after posting photos, it's not worth indulging my desire to hear non-creepy compliments.
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Old 06-21-2009, 04:52 PM   #18
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I don't tend to look at the paysite boards that often myself......my opinions/perceptions were formed from the many places I tend to "drift" around here.....
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Old 06-21-2009, 04:54 PM   #19
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They claim to love fat women....as in we are "apart" from other women....then it's a splash of cold water in the face that their idea of "different" is actually more along the lines of "less".



I have been wondering what I have been signing on for. Is Dimensions an online place to support male fat fantasy as the primary purpose of engaging here? Maybe I am experiencing the birth pains of some rite of passage Help me out, GEF.

You have to take the bad with the good, Katherine, just like any place else. Some of this place isn't the great wonder some tout it to be ...... it has it's dark side.
Just find something good to hold onto....like friendship, intelligence and having fun.

You will find that not taking most of it too seriously helps.....


Spending too much time on the weight board is pretty damn depressing, too, at certain times. If you find that it's too heavy as in you feel the human factor of things is being choked out, go to another board where there are more humans engaging.
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Old 06-21-2009, 04:56 PM   #20
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[QUOTE=Green Eyed Fairy;1206609]If you haven't seen a mission statement, then why do you seem to presume that the site is solely about "other people's" fantasies?

How about some people fantasizing about a a better reality?


All that goddess talk kind of reminds me of how so many rap stars used to call themselves "gangstas".
Don't believe the hype.......

Exactly my point ,GEF. Does our notion of fantasy whether thin or fat obscure the possibility of enjoying the complexity of a real woman? If Dimensions is a response to the lack of reality in portraying women in the thin world or is it just another vehicle presenting its own notion of fat fantasy. Somehow real women are getting lost in these fantasies.
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Old 06-21-2009, 04:56 PM   #21
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Originally Posted by furious styles View Post
basing your opinion of this forum on browsing the paysite board is like basing your opinion of a city on touring it's red light district.
I agree, but those pm's I get and some of the chatter in non-paysite threads indicates that the attitude is spilling out - there seem to be a lot of guys who maybe don't quite know how to separate the fantasy land of the paysite board from the human beings of the rest of Dims. And I do grate a little when I see fap fantasy in disguise as "size acceptance", because that really isn't what size acceptance means to me.

As far as the "mission statement" thing, I think it's a little silly to go all semantics on this issue. There is a sense from the main board, which has "size acceptance issues" as a subtitle, and from bits of the FAQ like this:

Is Dimensions just a social thing?

It would seem that way, but it is much more. We've always viewed Dimensions as a size-activist place as well as a lifestyle place. While there is plenty of sexually oriented material, Dimensions is about size politics, acceptance, and mutual respect as much as it is about celebrating the larger figure.


that the overall point of Dims is to be more than a porn/fantasy site; it's meant to be an open, accepting community where fat men and women are respected as people. And many men certainly do respond intelligently and engage in actual conversation; however, the level of "omg ur fat is hot" is fairly significant.
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Old 06-21-2009, 04:59 PM   #22
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If you haven't seen a mission statement, then why do you seem to presume that the site is solely about "other people's" fantasies?
I was not referring to the site Dimensions, but to the individual paysites. I apologize for my lack of specificity.
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all we ask is that those without fetishes respect the notion that the vast majority of fetish-havers know how to reconcile their kink with the dangers of reality just as you would assume your next door neighbor is not a pedophile.
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Old 06-21-2009, 05:00 PM   #23
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Originally Posted by Fuzzy Necromancer View Post
I was not referring to the site Dimensions, but to the individual paysites. I apologize for my lack of specificity.

In that case, then we agree. The paysite board pretty much is "fantasy"...in exchange for money. *shrugs*
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Old 06-21-2009, 05:02 PM   #24
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Originally Posted by katherine22 View Post
All that goddess talk kind of reminds me of how so many rap stars used to call themselves "gangstas".
Don't believe the hype.......
Don't believe the hype indeed. I checked and found that many of the "goddesses" on the paysite lacked any sort of temple or structured clergy, and most of the guys posting on the forum failed to make any sort of burned offering or blood sacrifice.

Quote:
Somehow real women are getting lost in these fantasies.
Please cite specific examples. Do you have any particular real women in mind?
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Quote:
Originally Posted by exile in thighville View Post
all we ask is that those without fetishes respect the notion that the vast majority of fetish-havers know how to reconcile their kink with the dangers of reality just as you would assume your next door neighbor is not a pedophile.
Where there's smoke, there's a smoke-making machine.
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Old 06-21-2009, 05:04 PM   #25
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Originally Posted by StarWitness View Post
Heh, that's one of the reasons I haven't posted a(n in-focus) photo of myself. I don't have any illusions about being irresistibly gorgeous, but it seems like so many other women have gotten unwanted advances after posting photos, it's not worth indulging my desire to hear non-creepy compliments.
I was a little surprised at how many I got - I thought the numbers fetishists were more into the supersized gals. You're probably pretty safe if you keep it to GLBTQ or one of the less-frequented boards - I didn't get any after the librarian pics, and I was totally steeling myself for it too because I thought those were better tardvark bait than the wedding pics. I guess those guys probably stay the hell away from GLBTQ board, haha.
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