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Old 06-24-2009, 12:46 PM   #126
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I will plead guilty to maligning feminism on these boards, which was rhetorically lazy of me. My problem is not with feminism, capital F, inasmuch as it seems beyond obvious to me that men and women have equal value as humans, should be treated equally, paid equally, etc. My problem is with what passes for feminism (for lack of a better word--misandry, I guess?) around here, which to my ears is consistently shrill, one-note, and exceedingly unpleasant.

You best put us shrill and unpleasant types on ignore, because I doubt any of us are going to give a flying fuck, the condition of your ears. Seeing how you yourself swoop into threads to scold, and to be all " here is the truth...eat it, people "...I take what you say with a huge block of salt. I am also happy that you don't have a problem with capital F feminism...we thank you for your support.
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Old 06-24-2009, 01:03 PM   #127
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You best put us shrill and unpleasant types on ignore, because I doubt any of us are going to give a flying fuck, the condition of your ears. Seeing how you yourself swoop into threads to scold, and to be all " here is the truth...eat it, people "...I take what you say with a huge block of salt. I am also happy that you don't have a problem with capital F feminism...we thank you for your support.
You're welcome.
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Old 06-24-2009, 01:14 PM   #128
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You're welcome.
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Old 06-24-2009, 04:46 PM   #129
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I don't agree with this at all. A man with a good job and lifestyle is just that ... a man with a good job and lifestyle, and nothing more. That isn't an objective way to measure someone's worth, I think no more than it is to go by a woman's cup size. I know some men who have fantastic jobs, and I wouldn't set them up with Ann Coulter. Well, OK. Maybe I would, but not as a favor to her I'm not single, but if I were, I'd look more for signs of maturity and depth, not the size of the wallet. I make plenty of money on my own accord. Not riches, but more than enough to meet my own (rather modest) needs. I think that as women are becoming equals on college campuses and in the workplace, they aren't looking so much into a man's net worth anymore. They don't need that kind of security.
Speak for yourself....we all know you have money......I needs me a man with a job myself......employed men are my new standard......

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This is the same thread as before-

There is nothing wrong with men, our fantasies, or with the women who fulfill them. Adults are usually capable of distinguishing pure fantasy from reality. No one's fantasy prevents other people from finding mates. Men and women are different and these differences are a good and complimentary thing (sad but I feel the need to state this). If you don't like something move on. I do, I usually avoid this board like the plague.

For me Dimensions is the erotic weight board, the sexuality and the paysite and maybe the FA forum, haven't checked it out yet but we'll see


*To some of my fellow FAs, stop the damn pandering already- my god it's obvious and it makes you look like such schmucks
I laugh at your posts sometimes....because I imagine you quite proud of yourself....but I just can't figure out why

P.S. All you fatties quit pandering to "manly men" because they are THE schmucks.....

Christ....... you are definitely not

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Oh Traci.. your so...your so... Opulant!!! See if i ever become single can you take me out on a date please? GEF said she would take me to Wallmart for a shake (that sounds both American AND erotic!) but i feel i deserve more than this!! thanking you.. xx
So now you are turning me down for chance to go out with TraciJo....just because we all know...........SHE HAS MONEY?????

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Old 06-24-2009, 07:44 PM   #130
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I don't agree with this at all. A man with a good job and lifestyle is just that ... a man with a good job and lifestyle, and nothing more. That isn't an objective way to measure someone's worth, I think no more than it is to go by a woman's cup size. I know some men who have fantastic jobs, and I wouldn't set them up with Ann Coulter. Well, OK. Maybe I would, but not as a favor to her I'm not single, but if I were, I'd look more for signs of maturity and depth, not the size of the wallet. I make plenty of money on my own accord. Not riches, but more than enough to meet my own (rather modest) needs. I think that as women are becoming equals on college campuses and in the workplace, they aren't looking so much into a man's net worth anymore. They don't need that kind of security.
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Speak for yourself....we all know you have money......I needs me a man with a job myself......employed men are my new standard......
While I agree that looking at the size of the wallet is hardly a criteria for finding a rewarding relationship of any kind, it's been my experience that the ladies who don't require a man to at least be 'gainfully employed' are extremely rare, and aren't looking for anything that can't be measured with a ruler, scale, or tape. The instances I've seen involving men who can't at least take care of themselves in this department, let alone afford to romance a woman, usually end in a serious blow to his ego: she finds someone who has his own money. This I learned at a fairly early age, and certainly does not cover everyone; the exceptions, though, are rare.
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Old 06-24-2009, 07:47 PM   #131
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While I agree that looking at the size of the wallet is hardly a criteria for finding a rewarding relationship of any kind, it's been my experience that the ladies who don't require a man to at least be 'gainfully employed' are extremely rare, and aren't looking for anything that can't be measured with a ruler, scale, or tape. The instances I've seen involving men who can't at least take care of themselves in this department, let alone afford to romance a woman, usually end in a serious blow to his ego: she finds someone who has his own money. This I learned at a fairly early age, and certainly does not cover everyone; the exceptions, though, are rare.
I wouldn't want to be with someone who can't take care of himself. Damn tootin' I wouldn't be the one caretaking, nor would I expect that of him.

And GEF? Mer? Both of y'all can just eat my ass. With a heaping side of ass
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Old 06-24-2009, 08:00 PM   #132
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This is an interesting point in that there are a variety of needs being met at Dimensions with the paysite and other discussions. My point is how do we reconcile our ideals, our fantasy of the opposite sex with the reality and complexity of being human. Does an attachment to fantasy interfer with the ability to apprehend another person fully. In this case, can fat fantasy seem stifling and limiting to fat women. There have been many interesting ideas expressed in this thread, and I have learned so much from all of you, and I appreciate it.
There are people who believe all the ridiculous social tropes about fatness and then sexualize them. There are some who don't believe the social tropes but still sexualize them. In either case, I'm sure that for most, the reality of seeing a partner struggle with stuff that turns them on cause one to struggle, in which case, their fantasies can't be easily reconciled. Not much to do about that but learn to cope I suppose.

I think some fantasies can only be stifling if you begin to see yourself thru those fantasies, rather than in whatever way you already see yourself. It's like if you know who you are, then what difference do other people's fantasies make - as long as they don't try to force them on you, or project them onto you without asking you how you feel about it first.

In other words, "Noboby puts Baby in a corner." LOL
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Old 06-24-2009, 08:39 PM   #133
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I would imagine that without male sexual fantasy, men would simply become a part of the landscape to the real life fat woman. The reality of a serious relationship of any kind with a fat woman is like any other relationship; it has its challenges. Maybe a jog through the local park is not a good idea for spending an afternoon together. Finding nice clothing becomes a little difficult in the gift giving season; the man who's serious about her will hit the internet and produce results instead of excuses. People who disrespect his feelings about her become history.

I think the only tangible issue still on the table is the lack of respect for any lady in general as a human being. There's been a lot of examples of it in this very thread; men who go to bat for the ladies' interests here seem to get put on 'male chauvanist probation,' for lack of a better term. Insensitive individuals who draw constant attacks from the ladies should consider the fact that the overall quality and number of ladies will simply decline if they are made to feel powerless and unwelcome, and I don't think the majority of us want this place to become a sausage party.
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Old 06-24-2009, 08:47 PM   #134
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While I agree that looking at the size of the wallet is hardly a criteria for finding a rewarding relationship of any kind, it's been my experience that the ladies who don't require a man to at least be 'gainfully employed' are extremely rare, and aren't looking for anything that can't be measured with a ruler, scale, or tape. The instances I've seen involving men who can't at least take care of themselves in this department, let alone afford to romance a woman, usually end in a serious blow to his ego: she finds someone who has his own money. This I learned at a fairly early age, and certainly does not cover everyone; the exceptions, though, are rare.
Lol, expecting a grown ass man to act like a grown ass man and take care of himself isn't me looking for anything. It's me protecting myself from being used. Men can be money-grubbers themselves.
I have ran into a lot of irresponsible, lazy, childlike, excuse-making men in my lifetime....that just look to hook onto a lifelong mother...except they want to be able to have sex with this one. Have kids with him? He wants to be one of the kids....with the right to boss people around cause he's called "Daddy", yet isn't really interested in knowing/understanding the responsibility that title entails....
Nah.....nothing wrong with a man taking care of himself....or his children.

What's wrong is if a woman doesn't expect him to...and enables him in these behaviors.

Women have children often time.....we have these children with men. There is something wrong with us for wanting a man to be responsible?

How many men want a lazy, irresponsible, excuse making woman to live their lives with? Why should it be any different in the reverse?

Looking for a responsible, grown man isn't the same as "looking for money". I hear that twisted way too much.....and I don't believe the hype.

In my experience, the only "men" that actually say "she just wants me for my money" are the very assholes that can't hold down a decent job or pay their own rent, owe everyone they know money, have no established credit of their own, waste what little money they have on utter bullshit and complain about having nothing and live with their mommas....when they are 45 years old. My impression of this type of guy isn't shiny....

This subject....I won't be moved. A hard working handy man is about the only type of male that moves..or impresses me.. anymore....believe that.

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And GEF? Mer? Both of y'all can just eat my ass. With a heaping side of ass
Are you SURE you want me talking about your ass? I talk about ass....or rather not getting it...enough as it is, don't I?


On the other hand....a MerJo sammich..........
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Old 06-24-2009, 09:02 PM   #135
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This subject....I won't be moved. A hard working handy man is about the only type of male that moves..or impresses me.. anymore....believe that.
In other words, GEF ... you're more impressed by what's loaded in the FRONT pocket than you are the back pocket, eh?

And yes ... I agree ... the kind of man who thinks that a woman is only after him for his money is quite likely a man who doesn't have any in the first place (hence, if she refuses to date him or dumps his ass, it's because he didn't have ENOUGH money to satisfy the gold digger).

I just hate the notion that women are looking for a breadwinner. That is so 50 years ago. How long have you been supporting your household, GEFFIE? Off the top of my head, I can't think of one woman who doesn't work herself, if we include the more-than full-time job of child rearing. Even then, a huge percentage are still bringing money into the household, either through self or part-time employment.
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Old 06-24-2009, 09:12 PM   #136
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In other words, GEF ... you're more impressed by what's loaded in the FRONT pocket than you are the back pocket, eh?

And yes ... I agree ... the kind of man who thinks that a woman is only after him for his money is quite likely a man who doesn't have any in the first place (hence, if she refuses to date him or dumps his ass, it's because he didn't have ENOUGH money to satisfy the gold digger).

I just hate the notion that women are looking for a breadwinner. That is so 50 years ago. How long have you been supporting your household, GEFFIE? Off the top of my head, I can't think of one woman who doesn't work herself, if we include the more-than full-time job of child rearing. Even then, a huge percentage are still bringing money into the household, either through self or part-time employment.
I have supporting four people for that past 3.5 years by myself. I supported five for the first two years of my twins life. Yeah, I love it when I hear men start this tripe about women after them for money.
I made more money than my ex-husband for many years before the twins. I managed to do this by working 45-53 hours a week while going to night school for four years. This enabled me to get better paying work. My ex complained the whole time I was doing those night classes because I wasn't there to cook him dinner every night....so I left it on plates in the fridge to be warmed up. During the summer, I didn't get home until 11 p.m. some nights after classes- I started my day at 6 a.m. and I can remember doing laundry and hanging it up at 11:30 at night.

I have worked my ass off for what little I have.....and no man handed it to me....even the two I was married to.

P.S. I know/have known many woman who are the breadwinners in their households. They don't go around saying their husband just wants them for money.....
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Old 06-24-2009, 09:18 PM   #137
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This is an interesting point in that there are a variety of needs being met at Dimensions with the paysite and other discussions. My point is how do we reconcile our ideals, our fantasy of the opposite sex with the reality and complexity of being human? Does an attachment to fantasy interfer with the ability to apprehend another person fully?
Short Answer: Nope. =o

Long answer: I have not percieved any inverse correlation between my tendency to fantasize and my ability to apprehend another person fully. I also put forth that it is nigh impossible to truly apprehend another person fully, being as we humans are complex and ever-changing entities, and we are inherently limited by the gaps of personal experience and temperament that divide us from one another.

I still have only the vaguest understanding of what you originally set out to assert in this thread. As near as I can tell, you were saying that somewhere, in some parts of the forum, some men are rude, and that somehow the fact that guys crank their yanks to very fat women in revealing clothes on the paysite forum leads to fat women being marginalized or demeaned and said guys diminishing in the capacity to function as human beings.

I don't know if this is an accurate assessment or not, because I have been frustrated in attempts to interpret your prose by the levels of generality, implication, and lack of explicit examples, which I find essential to clear communication.




PS: I'd like to direct attention to the quote in my sig, as I feel it has particular relevance to this conversation.
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all we ask is that those without fetishes respect the notion that the vast majority of fetish-havers know how to reconcile their kink with the dangers of reality just as you would assume your next door neighbor is not a pedophile.
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Old 06-24-2009, 09:19 PM   #138
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Lol, expecting a grown ass man to act like a grown ass man and take care of himself isn't me looking for anything. It's me protecting myself from being used. Men can be money-grubbers themselves.
I have ran into a lot of irresponsible, lazy, childlike, excuse-making men in my lifetime....that just look to hook onto a lifelong mother...except they want to be able to have sex with this one. Have kids with him? He wants to be one of the kids....with the right to boss people around cause he's called "Daddy", yet isn't really interested in knowing/understanding the responsibility that title entails....
Nah.....nothing wrong with a man taking care of himself....or his children.

What's wrong is if a woman doesn't expect him to...and enables him in these behaviors.

Women have children often time.....we have these children with men. There is something wrong with us for wanting a man to be responsible?

How many men want a lazy, irresponsible, excuse making woman to live their lives with? Why should it be any different in the reverse?

Looking for a responsible, grown man isn't the same as "looking for money". I hear that twisted way too much.....and I don't believe the hype.

In my experience, the only "men" that actually say "she just wants me for my money" are the very assholes that can't hold down a decent job or pay their own rent, owe everyone they know money, have no established credit of their own, waste what little money they have on utter bullshit and complain about having nothing and live with their mommas....when they are 45 years old. My impression of this type of guy isn't shiny....

This subject....I won't be moved. A hard working handy man is about the only type of male that moves..or impresses me.. anymore....believe that.
My post on this was not an insult or a criticism on any woman who looks at a man and sizes up his ability to provide; it's the way I was raised, that grown men had better be responsible, and that means keep a job, pay your bills, support your children.

I quoted you because that's what my parents taught me, that's what I hear the ladies saying, that's why the assholes you mentioned get no respect from either men or women. This isn't about women getting rich off their men; it's about making a life together, and handling their problems together. If he's not a part of the solution, he's a part of the problem, and a woman taking care of the kids as well as making her way in the world doesn't need a man adding to her problems.
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Old 06-24-2009, 09:22 PM   #139
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Green Eyed Fairy has ascended what used to be the highest level.Green Eyed Fairy has ascended what used to be the highest level.Green Eyed Fairy has ascended what used to be the highest level.Green Eyed Fairy has ascended what used to be the highest level.Green Eyed Fairy has ascended what used to be the highest level.Green Eyed Fairy has ascended what used to be the highest level.Green Eyed Fairy has ascended what used to be the highest level.Green Eyed Fairy has ascended what used to be the highest level.Green Eyed Fairy has ascended what used to be the highest level.Green Eyed Fairy has ascended what used to be the highest level.Green Eyed Fairy has ascended what used to be the highest level.
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My post on this was not an insult or a criticism on any woman who looks at a man and sizes up his ability to provide; it's the way I was raised, that grown men had better be responsible, and that means keep a job, pay your bills, support your children.

I quoted you because that's what my parents taught me, that's what I hear the ladies saying, that's why the assholes you mentioned get no respect from either men or women. This isn't about women getting rich off their men; it's about making a life together, and handling their problems together. If he's not a part of the solution, he's a part of the problem, and a woman taking care of the kids as well as making her way in the world doesn't need a man adding to her problems.
Sorry if my venting came off as me being angry at you. I'm not nor was I. I just thought of your post as a sounding board is all

Thanks for summing it all up so eloquently
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Old 06-24-2009, 09:30 PM   #140
Captain Save
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Captain Save has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Captain Save has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Captain Save has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Captain Save has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Captain Save has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Captain Save has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Captain Save has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Captain Save has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Captain Save has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Captain Save has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Captain Save has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
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My pleasure. I'm just glad we're on the same page.

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Old 06-24-2009, 09:40 PM   #141
TraciJo67
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TraciJo67 has ascended what used to be the highest level.TraciJo67 has ascended what used to be the highest level.TraciJo67 has ascended what used to be the highest level.TraciJo67 has ascended what used to be the highest level.TraciJo67 has ascended what used to be the highest level.TraciJo67 has ascended what used to be the highest level.TraciJo67 has ascended what used to be the highest level.TraciJo67 has ascended what used to be the highest level.TraciJo67 has ascended what used to be the highest level.TraciJo67 has ascended what used to be the highest level.TraciJo67 has ascended what used to be the highest level.
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I managed to do this by working 45-53 hours a week while going to night school for four years. This enabled me to get better paying work. My ex complained the whole time I was doing those night classes because I wasn't there to cook him dinner every night....so I left it on plates in the fridge to be warmed up. During the summer, I didn't get home until 11 p.m. some nights after classes- I started my day at 6 a.m. and I can remember doing laundry and hanging it up at 11:30 at night.
Damn. I want to marry you. A mom, a maid, a cook, a breadwinner, AND an edumacated gal who can multi-task like Donald Trump on crack? What's not to love?

Sadly, your experience is more mainstream than ever, GEF. Women always seem to find some miraculous way to pack 25 hours into a 24-hour day, because they are carrying their full load plus part (if not all) of their "significant" other's. At least your story has a happy ending ... they are your EXes
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Old 06-25-2009, 02:56 AM   #142
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mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!
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Speak for yourself....employed men are my new standard......






So now you are turning me down for chance to go out with TraciJo....just because we all know...........SHE HAS MONEY?????

lmao!!!! To be honest a shake is worth more than a million pounds to me!
Actually, i was thinking about it and GD is the first one of my gf's to have a job!! haha..I have been out with students, artists, musicians, a single mother.. Hmmmm..I hadn't actually thought about that before but i guess that means i'm kinna not shallow. Though, i must admit, it is nice to be with someone who earns money and can buy me lots of shakes, turkee etc.. The finer things in life basically..
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