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Old 08-07-2010, 09:23 AM   #2526
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My friend just up and moved in with his new boyfriend of only a week and now I have only one friend left in my city and she isn't exactly the type of person I want to hang out with all that often. So I feel really lonely and know it's going to be Hell from here on in because I will never have anything to do and it's going to kill me. I don't know how to make friends and have nothing to do, anyways, that would get me to make any friends. I checked out the programs that schools in my city ould be offering to see if anything would interest me to attend and possibly make friends through that. Sadly, jewellery making and flower arrangement does not interest me in the least, so I am shit out of luck. I'm worried for my sanity. I've been crying all night about it. I hate being lonely and I'm now lonelier than ever.
Loneliness really sucks. I haven't had a close friend in my area since a group of women friends I knew decided to end their friendship with me over size acceptance in 2005, and then my club friend Kat took a job as a cruise ship youth entertainment host in late 2007. So I started using Meetup.com, a site where you can meet with groups of people specifically into your interests (or so the site claims). In all honesty, I haven't found a whole lot of groups that are geared toward my specific interests on the site, but I've joined dinner & movie groups, singles groups, that kind of thing, and I pick and choose which meet-ups I want to attend. I assume there are meetup groups in Canada, so I might recommend checking out that website and just seeing what you find. You search by entering your postal code or area, and then checking off what things you're interested in. Then the site gives you a list of all the groups in or near your area that might fit your interests. Then if you want, you join the groups online (like joining a Facebook group), and when they schedule a meet-up, it will be posted online and you'll get an e-mail. You can RSVP for the meet-up, yes or no, and decide if you want to go. I've found it's a good way to meet acquaintences (I haven't met any good friends through the site yet), and just get out and do things with other people that I don't do by myself (bowling, mini-golf, just going for coffee). Or if I don't want to see a movie by myself, I can usually find one of my meetup groups who is planning a meet-up for that movie.
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Old 08-07-2010, 10:21 AM   #2527
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I've actually checked out meetup.com and the only group around here is a cyclist group. Everything else is in big cities far away. So there really is nothing for me to do about this situation
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Old 08-07-2010, 02:11 PM   #2528
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I've actually checked out meetup.com and the only group around here is a cyclist group. Everything else is in big cities far away. So there really is nothing for me to do about this situation
Not quite true...

You can't be the only one where you are who wants to do the things you're interested in. If you're not afraid of meeting strangers, and they will only be strangers to you for a very short while, start your own Meet-up group in your area! The easiest one to start is a movie meet-up. Meet an hour before the movie to chit-chat, get tickets, grub and see the movie. Or meet after the movie and have a cheapo dinner where you can discuss what you just saw. It's a great way to meet different people. Even if you don't meet your next best-friend (as I amazingly did) you now have, at the minimum, new acquaintances you can hang with at least for movies and it's incredible where it can lead from there. Half the crazy things I do is from word of mouth things I've learned about via mutual friends/acquaintances at meet-ups. You only get out of life what you're willing to put in it and this could be just the opportunity knocking for you.
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Old 08-07-2010, 04:02 PM   #2529
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It's too bad movies cost so damn much. More than I can really afford, especially since I don't like most of the movies that come out. I know... I'm rare, lol. But really... there's so very little that interests me and nothing to do as a group that it's damn near impossible to think of anything.

I don't live in a big city. Most of the population is on welfare as well, so no one can afford to do anything. You can cross my city from one side to the other doing 30mph in about 10 minutes, if not less. That's small. And we're far away from any other big cities. My only method of transportation is the city bus, and we only have 3 bus routes where the buses come only every 30 minutes until 7pm, where they go by only every hour until 11 when they shut down for the night.

So there really is NOTHING I can do to change this situation. When I only get about 40$ to spend a month and a movie outing basically costs me half of that... Yeah... Not doing that.
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Old 08-07-2010, 04:04 PM   #2530
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Also, everyone either has kids or wants to do something as a couple with their partner. Both of those being situations I don't want to deal with AGAIN because it is NOT pretty.
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Old 08-07-2010, 08:11 PM   #2531
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(((Hugs))) my darling girl. My heart is with you

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Big hugs tonight for you, dear. Mothers can be the best and the worst--and it really cuts deep when they are the worst.
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Originally Posted by CarlaSixx View Post
It's too bad movies cost so damn much. More than I can really afford, especially since I don't like most of the movies that come out. I know... I'm rare, lol. But really... there's so very little that interests me and nothing to do as a group that it's damn near impossible to think of anything.

I don't live in a big city. Most of the population is on welfare as well, so no one can afford to do anything. You can cross my city from one side to the other doing 30mph in about 10 minutes, if not less. That's small. And we're far away from any other big cities. My only method of transportation is the city bus, and we only have 3 bus routes where the buses come only every 30 minutes until 7pm, where they go by only every hour until 11 when they shut down for the night.

So there really is NOTHING I can do to change this situation. When I only get about 40$ to spend a month and a movie outing basically costs me half of that... Yeah... Not doing that.
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Also, everyone either has kids or wants to do something as a couple with their partner. Both of those being situations I don't want to deal with AGAIN because it is NOT pretty.
How about hair and costume making? I bet there's at least one person out there that is interested in those things.
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Old 08-07-2010, 09:44 PM   #2532
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Hugs Carla I totally hear all of that and wish there was something I could do to help


IC I am worried sick about the kids here, and that when I leave tommorrow I know they are gonna be told its their fault have been telling them aunty amanda has to go home for health reasons but yeah their mum will drill it in that it is their fault sigh
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Old 08-07-2010, 09:59 PM   #2533
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spiritangel ~ Sounds like you've been stuck between a rock and a hard place too long! I am glad you've made the decision to go home, though I know you will worry over the children. (((((Hugs)))))
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Old 08-07-2010, 10:02 PM   #2534
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All around hugs for everyone cos I really suck at multi-quoting.
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Old 08-07-2010, 10:04 PM   #2535
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Hubby and I had to take a quiet day today. This week has been a real stinker of a week and he needed to rest and recoup. Lately, I've had to deal with so much at the office and home that I find myself escaping to the computer till late hours of the night. I've been so restless! When I do finally hit my head to the pillow it is usually 1 a.m. and I have to be up before 8 to get ready for work. I know I need to get out of this less sleep cycle but I just don't want to...yet.
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Old 08-09-2010, 05:12 AM   #2536
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I am home exhausted but wired, and have lots of pics of me eating on various trains to share lol including a croissant
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Old 08-09-2010, 08:40 AM   #2537
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How about hair and costume making? I bet there's at least one person out there that is interested in those things.
This is not a bad idea. Carla, you could post an ad on Craigslist for free, advertising your costume making skills. I'm sure you'd find a few takers and make a few extra bucks by helping them.
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Old 08-09-2010, 01:06 PM   #2538
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Last night, in the full throes of insomnia, I was minding my own bidness playing my little farm game on Facebook around 4AM, when I realized that I accidentally left my IM on after talking to a gf in Calgary. I get an IM from someone that went to the same high school although we were in different crowds, he was a year behind, etc. We were only friends on FB by coincidence because I was suggested by a mutual friend and he accepted thinking it was a request. Then he started a group and invited me, etc. Strange the way things happen.

High school wasn't a happy place for me. They were not the 'best years of my life'. Boys my own age were mostly nice but dating-wise largely ignored me. Actually, it was male teachers who found me appealing. So I dated older boys/men outside of school (jail bait) and basically became relatively unconscious of the lack of attention there. I flourished in my own little world.

Imagine my surprise when this guy who I have the vaguest memory of IMs me and begins to wax nostalgic on the deep lust and affection he had for me (but never said a word). I said, 'You don't even remember me.' He said, 'I remember black spandex, that ass, those eyes and that laugh.' Hmmm..he WAS paying attention. LOL He said, 'We all lusted after you but you were unattainable.' I said, 'WTF are you talking about? I didn't even get asked to prom. I recall you were King Shit.' He said, 'It's true. I was conceited but we were all in awe of you.'

I said, 'WTF is it with all you guys from the old neighborhood that whenever you have a few drinks or smoke a little weed and the wife isn't home you start remembering the glory days and contact ME? You all took thin girls to prom, fucked them, impregnated them, and married them and they all got fat anyway and now that you know the joys of fat sex you have to call me and what? Confess?'

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. I was an object of lust but not suitably date-worthy to my own peers. I always knew the latter but had no inkling of the former. Whenever they contacted me they all claimed, '...but I was nice to you..' like it was a fucking gift.

This bullshit is one of the reasons why I don't go to class reunions.
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Old 08-09-2010, 02:16 PM   #2539
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This is not a bad idea. Carla, you could post an ad on Craigslist for free, advertising your costume making skills. I'm sure you'd find a few takers and make a few extra bucks by helping them.
The problem is that I DON'T have skills, lol. I can't use a sewing machine, and can't sew more than severely basic things. Making costumes is completely out of the question because I can't do it. Not that I haven't tried. I have a sea of wrecked fabrics and two battered sewing machines to prove it.

I just don't have much of any talent
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Old 08-09-2010, 02:26 PM   #2540
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High school wasn't a happy place for me. They were not the 'best years of my life'. Boys my own age were mostly nice but dating-wise largely ignored me. Actually, it was male teachers who found me appealing. So I dated older boys/men outside of school (jail bait) and basically became relatively unconscious of the lack of attention there. I flourished in my own little world.

Imagine my surprise when this guy who I have the vaguest memory of IMs me and begins to wax nostalgic on the deep lust and affection he had for me (but never said a word). I said, 'You don't even remember me.' He said, 'I remember black spandex, that ass, those eyes and that laugh.' Hmmm..he WAS paying attention. LOL He said, 'We all lusted after you but you were unattainable.' I said, 'WTF are you talking about? I didn't even get asked to prom. I recall you were King Shit.' He said, 'It's true. I was conceited but we were all in awe of you.'

I said, 'WTF is it with all you guys from the old neighborhood that whenever you have a few drinks or smoke a little weed and the wife isn't home you start remembering the glory days and contact ME? You all took thin girls to prom, fucked them, impregnated them, and married them and they all got fat anyway and now that you know the joys of fat sex you have to call me and what? Confess?'

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. I was an object of lust but not suitably date-worthy to my own peers. I always knew the latter but had no inkling of the former. Whenever they contacted me they all claimed, '...but I was nice to you..' like it was a fucking gift.

This bullshit is one of the reasons why I don't go to class reunions.
Oh, do I ever relate. In high school, I started seeing guys in their 20s, and by 17 was enthralled by 2 men in their 30s, both of whom I started "seeing" when I turned 18. I never really saw guys from school pay attention to me. I wasn't tormented much for my weight in school, but no one seemed really "nice" about it, if you get what I mean. The ones who cared about me where not my age at all.

Now out of school, I get messages from people who were in my classes that say they wanna go out on a date or something, saying I am stunning, etc. I don't get it. They were always dating the sporty and popular girls in school, and suddenly when out of school, they wanna give me attention? It doesn't sit well with me. And when they live in another city and are trying to ask me out, that's even worse. I just hate it and ignore them entirely afterwards.

They've all said that in private, they all seemed to have a fascination with me. I don't think everyone was lusty, but maybe curious. And, really, it kind of hurts to hear that.

I wasn't hated in high school, everyone knew me, most people were good to me, but I wasn't textbook popular. They were my best years, but that isn't saying much. And they've been planning a reunion already. I really don't think I'll be attending if my life doesn't turn around, as I've just been going downhill since high school and am the only drop out of our grade.
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Old 08-09-2010, 02:42 PM   #2541
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snipped... They were my best years, but that isn't saying much. And they've been planning a reunion already. I really don't think I'll be attending if my life doesn't turn around, as I've just been going downhill since high school and am the only drop out of our grade.
Did you already get your GED, or whatever the high school equivalency is in Canada? Or can you take a class or go to continuing education or something?

I only ask that because taking classes can be a good way to get to know new people... (not that you were asking for my input...)

It can be really tough to make new friends, and I know it can feel like an uphill struggle at times; it just may take some time, and some trial and error. But sooooo many people are lonely in this world and are looking for friends! I think that's true in a town of 500 and definitely in a city of 3 million.
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Old 08-09-2010, 03:46 PM   #2542
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I'm only 3 credits away from a complete high school diploma, which takes less time to get than a GED and I've always been in pre-Uni courses, so for me, it would be a MAJOR step down and would make me feel like an idiot. I went to a school for GED students and my mother was a GED program creator. I know the work they do and it's so painfully low grade level to me (you have to understand, I was doing the same work in grade 3) and I just won't do it. Especially when it takes 9 months of doing grade 3 work before being allowed to take the test, when it takes 3 to 5 months to finish the high school credits. I just will NOT do the GED if my life depended on it.

And I have no motivation to finish the high school credits. Everyone who attends the schools that offer courses to adults have teens there during the day. Really immature and deliquent teens (which is what gets them there instead of staying in a real high school) and I am NOT going to put up with teenage bullshit drama any longer.

I have no reason to finish. There isn't anything for me to do. It's the only reason I haven't completed them already, and is the reason I dropped out. There is absolutely nothing I want to get into afterwards.
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Old 08-09-2010, 04:26 PM   #2543
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I am home exhausted but wired, and have lots of pics of me eating on various trains to share lol including a croissant
You're such a bad ass! I knew I liked you for a reason!
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Old 08-09-2010, 04:27 PM   #2544
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I am home exhausted but wired, and have lots of pics of me eating on various trains to share lol including a croissant
Wonderful. Can't wait to see the pics!!!
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Old 08-09-2010, 05:42 PM   #2545
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Also, everyone either has kids or wants to do something as a couple with their partner. Both of those being situations I don't want to deal with AGAIN because it is NOT pretty.
How about goin away to school somewhere and live in the dorms?
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Old 08-09-2010, 06:32 PM   #2546
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How about goin away to school somewhere and live in the dorms?
I don't have any money to do it, and I haven't finished high school, so I can't get into college or University, nor do I want to, because there isn't any programs that I am interested in. I don't want to waste money like that.
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Old 08-09-2010, 06:47 PM   #2547
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I don't have any money to do it, and I haven't finished high school, so I can't get into college or University, nor do I want to, because there isn't any programs that I am interested in. I don't want to waste money like that.
hmm what about short courses at community colledge like learning to sew and make your own clothes it would help with the costume thing and they are usuallly pretty reasonable might have to cut down the wig buying a bit but would be very worth while or a costume design course??
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Old 08-09-2010, 06:55 PM   #2548
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I don't have any money to do it, and I haven't finished high school, so I can't get into college or University, nor do I want to, because there isn't any programs that I am interested in. I don't want to waste money like that.
Well, how about cutting back on expenses to save money to relocate? If you can't afford an apt. on your own try a finding a roommate through a roommate match service.
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Old 08-09-2010, 07:04 PM   #2549
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Well, how about cutting back on expenses to save money to relocate? If you can't afford an apt. on your own try a finding a roommate through a roommate match service.
I live off 40$ a month. There really isn't anything to cut down on. But I don't have any reason to relocate other than the fact that I don't like my city and none of my friends live here anymore. I'm not able to work, so I can't just up and go anywhere. Not only that, but I don't drive, so I really cannot up and go. I mean... how many people plan a whole life change around 40$ a month? I've never heard of it in my life.

Thing is... I don't ENJOY sewing. I just learned it really quick because I had hand-me-downs that were worn out and I needed to fix them myself. The only reason I did costume design in school is because I was too fat to get a part in any of the plays. I wanted to be centre stage, but fixing up the person who was going to be centre stage was my only option.

I do NOT enjoy being a "behind the scenes" worker. I HATE making things for others and not receiving proper credit for it.
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Old 08-09-2010, 07:11 PM   #2550
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I live off 40$ a month. There really isn't anything to cut down on. But I don't have any reason to relocate other than the fact that I don't like my city and none of my friends live here anymore. I'm not able to work, so I can't just up and go anywhere. Not only that, but I don't drive, so I really cannot up and go. I mean... how many people plan a whole life change around 40$ a month? I've never heard of it in my life.

Thing is... I don't ENJOY sewing. I just learned it really quick because I had hand-me-downs that were worn out and I needed to fix them myself. The only reason I did costume design in school is because I was too fat to get a part in any of the plays. I wanted to be centre stage, but fixing up the person who was going to be centre stage was my only option.

I do NOT enjoy being a "behind the scenes" worker. I HATE making things for others and not receiving proper credit for it.
Carla is there community theatre in your town? as that is free a great way to meet people of simmilar interests and also you may even get on stage (although sometimes takes a while of working your way up) but would be well worth looking into..............
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