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Old 11-30-2011, 04:04 PM   #4426
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I really wish that I could stand concretely in what I need or want. But I bat everything back and forth so much that it all ends up being one big tangled piece of shit that I put on a shelf until I must look at it again.
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Old 11-30-2011, 05:45 PM   #4427
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Summer is here and with it is sweat and chafing, two events that make me feel so unattractive. IC I was walking to pick up my daughter from daycare and my bra was chafing under my boob so much that I had to stop, face the tree of the closest house (hoping no one was home) and quickly tuck a tissue in under my bra as a buffer. It worked, but shit like this frustrates me.
I kept looking at the date and wondering if this is an old post then realized you're in Austrailia. Enjoy your summer down there. One of the things that helps me with chafing is I use medicated power EVERY day whether I have a rash or not. This really does help and makes me mad that I suffered for years for no reason. Now I rarely get rashes unless I forgot to apply some powder. It has to be medicated though...baby powder just makes a paste and is much worse.
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Old 12-01-2011, 02:10 PM   #4428
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IC that I fell tonight while walking the dogs. One of the side effects o..if being poor is not having proper attire for certain situations...like shoes that are water proof..or hell shoes or shoes that have traction..let alone an umbrella, rain coat...nada...zilch...zero. So, I fell and I twisted my good knee under me on wet terrain..I laid there in pain ...I also hit my head on the edge of the concrete and cut my hand....I could not move and I could not put weight on my knee.... I had no one to call...the dogs are hovering over me as I am laying there swearing and crying with very concerned looks ( I like to believe it was over me...me likely over their ability to go poo ) and I realized, embarrassingly and pathetically..I had no one to call. No friends outside of people you talk to at work and hell men do not find me datable...so...no guy to call. Just being completely honest here. As this is horribly embarrassing so I might as well keep it real. I'm a very big girl..getting up on my own...with no way to put weight on one knee - wasn't happening...and with nothing to hold on to for support...I laid there for 20 minutes on the cold, wet, muddy grown, my legs is still red from cold two hours later and hurts a bit.....cars going past me...in a dark city park ...I had to call my neighbor...she came and I was able to finally get up and she put us in her van and drove us home....

I'm alive...I'm okay but in that moment and now..I'm tired of this...I want a change, I want the strength to lose the weight and change my life. I'm tired of all my strength going towards trying to figure out how to find a job, or earn extra money and keep a roof over my bleeping head. I want a GD break. I need a break. 3 bleeping years of shit. When is it my turn. I confess that I am very angry at the universe...that I want to be completely selfish and I want a good paying job that I know I can do and I should have so that I can breathe and fix the rest of m f'ing life before I do something stupid one day.
How are you doing? Falling is the worst and what you described alone in a dark park, unable to get yourself back up is a nightmare. I hope your knee is feeling better and your spirit has healed some too. Sorry this happened to you.
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Old 12-01-2011, 11:10 PM   #4429
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Ugh, been out for dinner with my dad yesterday and he asked about the guy I'm dating. My dad asked ''when you met this guy, you were still skinny, doesn't he have a problem with you gaining such a BIG amount of weight??''

I said ''dad, I've known him for 10 years now, he's also gained weight since I met him. He doesn't care about it and sure doesn't complain about something he has done himself''. And my dad was like 'oh..okay.. but you're sure you shouldn't lose weight for him?''

Beh, that kind of conversation makes me so angry. Like I can't be attractive for ANYONE being my size.
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Old 12-02-2011, 11:01 AM   #4430
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IC I am not really feeling Christmas this year..I just don't want to do it..
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Old 12-03-2011, 08:38 PM   #4431
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How are you doing? Falling is the worst and what you described alone in a dark park, unable to get yourself back up is a nightmare. I hope your knee is feeling better and your spirit has healed some too. Sorry this happened to you.
Sorry, I just saw this, thank you for asking. I have been working 10 and 12 hour days to make extra dinero... well, actually by the middle of the night I realized I had bruised my ribs and spent the next two day crying a lot...i can only imagine the pain of those who actually break ribs. So, I just have been popping a lot of pills, but, I'm a lot better...thank you for asking. And hoping I can afford real winter boots and shoes so that doesn't happen again.
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Old 12-04-2011, 12:55 AM   #4432
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Sorry, I just saw this, thank you for asking. I have been working 10 and 12 hour days to make extra dinero... well, actually by the middle of the night I realized I had bruised my ribs and spent the next two day crying a lot...i can only imagine the pain of those who actually break ribs. So, I just have been popping a lot of pills, but, I'm a lot better...thank you for asking. And hoping I can afford real winter boots and shoes so that doesn't happen again.
Glad to hear that you're feeling better, and you have found some work too! Hope things do get better for you, PunkyGurly. Sounds like things are on the upswing, and I hope that keeps on keepin on.
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Old 12-04-2011, 04:41 PM   #4433
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IC I am not really feeling Christmas this year..I just don't want to do it..
Me too.

I'm hoping it's just because I've been stressed over school stuff and maybe, just maybe, after the semester ends I'll start feeling it. *shrugs*
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Old 12-06-2011, 07:14 PM   #4434
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Snowy walk in the park yesterday, Rachmaninoff on the iPod as I attempted to focus on paperwork this afternoon, and mistletoe hung in the doorway tonight.... A lethal, lethal combination. Heaven help the next man who asks me out is all I'm saying.
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Old 12-07-2011, 02:18 AM   #4435
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I confess my hips knocked over an entire display at my second job, and my 2 coworkers tried to help me pick things up- but the manager busted her uniform jacket and the other girl popped a button on her sweater.

It has been decided I no longer get to bring treats.

....For them. Yea, I am still going to bring my food and snacks.
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Old 12-07-2011, 10:19 AM   #4436
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I confess my hips knocked over an entire display at my second job, and my 2 coworkers tried to help me pick things up- but the manager busted her uniform jacket and the other girl popped a button on her sweater.

It has been decided I no longer get to bring treats.

....For them. Yea, I am still going to bring my food and snacks.
This sounds like something that could happen on a tv show!
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Old 12-07-2011, 10:28 AM   #4437
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This sounds like something that could happen on a tv show!
I was thinking that too. And that if you had filmed the whole thing, I bet you could make a little bit of fast dough by way of another section of this site...
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Old 12-07-2011, 01:49 PM   #4438
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I've been trying to think of other things.

Funny how stubborn your heart can be.
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Old 12-07-2011, 07:43 PM   #4439
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I really miss my family...even though I think they do my head in all the time when I'm not with them I lose myself
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Old 12-07-2011, 08:29 PM   #4440
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My daughter has a sister now, as her father and his girlfriend had their baby this morning. While I definitely don't want to be with him, IC I'm envious and a bit bitter than despite acting like a douche all these years, he gets his happy family. I've been happy single, but it hurts that I do the right thing, take the high road and do what's right, even though I don't want to, and he gets to be an ass and gets what he wants while I struggle to make ends meet and raise our child. It just doesn't feel fair sometimes.
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Old 12-13-2011, 07:22 PM   #4441
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I confess that, after buying a few cute wintery items this afternoon, that I promised myself that I would get rid of any old clothes and clean my room, but instead, I'm engrossed in chocolate cake and a law and order svu episode!
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Old 12-14-2011, 12:31 PM   #4442
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IC that I'm getting bored in Alaska....
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Old 12-14-2011, 09:11 PM   #4443
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My daughter has a sister now, as her father and his girlfriend had their baby this morning. While I definitely don't want to be with him, IC I'm envious and a bit bitter than despite acting like a douche all these years, he gets his happy family. I've been happy single, but it hurts that I do the right thing, take the high road and do what's right, even though I don't want to, and he gets to be an ass and gets what he wants while I struggle to make ends meet and raise our child. It just doesn't feel fair sometimes.
I can totally understand that feeling... My son's dad is with someone and gets to live responsibility free in terms of our kid he does absolutely nothing for him...and I am stuck trying to scratch and survive...It sucks but just know your a kick ass mom and your daughter will be so greatful...
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Old 12-15-2011, 08:34 AM   #4444
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My friend is cancelling her xmas party because shes put on some weight. Shes not skinny but found out today at the doctors that shes gained 30lbs over the year. I wish that everyone else could feel ok with themselves and realise that their self worth isn't decided by a number on the scale. hmmmpf
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Old 12-15-2011, 08:45 AM   #4445
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IC that I really want a cuddle buddy right now.
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Old 12-16-2011, 02:28 PM   #4446
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I confess that being lonely is hard but it's especially lonely on the holidays.
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Old 12-16-2011, 05:48 PM   #4447
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My friend is cancelling her xmas party because shes put on some weight. Shes not skinny but found out today at the doctors that shes gained 30lbs over the year. I wish that everyone else could feel ok with themselves and realise that their self worth isn't decided by a number on the scale. hmmmpf
Me too. Pretty sad, honestly. The holidays are about sharing the love of your friends and families... my heart breaks for the people out there who let their jeans size or the scale ruin that happiness.

And this is coming from someone who is pretty Grinchy about the whole holiday season.
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Old 12-19-2011, 08:30 AM   #4448
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IC that I think I'm going to be the family spinster and don't mind too much...
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Old 12-19-2011, 10:09 AM   #4449
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Men have been ignoring me for most of the past two years. But since Bieber Hair and I started doing whatever it is we're doing (slightly more than FWB, but not quite dating), they have been coming out of the woodwork. The TSA agent complimented my hair flower today. I suppose he could be a gay man who likes rhinestones, but that doesn't seem likely in Idaho outside of the college aged gays.
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Old 12-20-2011, 12:47 PM   #4450
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The "Silent Night" pampers baby commercial makes me tear-up.
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