BBW Confessions thread

[Punkin1024]

Originally Posted by Famouslastwords

Yeah. I've totally tried to do this, and am still trying. Last night I made chipotle beef with pearled barley and cauliflower and whole wheat blondies for dessert. These blondies are special as they're made with whole wheat, olive oil instead of butter, and honey instead of sugar. They also have organic almond butter, and coconut milk, and 72% cocao chips in them. They taste healthy, but they still taste good. I've been cooking out of this cook book (when I'm not eating out...) called the Master Your Metabolism cookbook, it's all about healthy eating and fresh organic foods, and real nonprocessed foods that speak your body's language.

Wow - those whole wheat blondies sound wonderful! I'm gonna look for that cookbook, sounds like it is exactly what I'd like in a cookbook!

[CarlaSixx]

IC tonight I had a blast!

My size did not stop me from dancing pretty much all night. Nor did it stop people from approaching me. Apparently I was the life of the party and I really liked that Leave it to my gays to make me feel better about myself, lol. It was great!

[spiritangel]

Originally Posted by CarlaSixx

IC tonight I had a blast!

My size did not stop me from dancing pretty much all night. Nor did it stop people from approaching me. Apparently I was the life of the party and I really liked that Leave it to my gays to make me feel better about myself, lol. It was great!

Awesome and glad to hear it

I love gay guys I have had times in sydney where they have come up to me on the street and told me how fabulous I look it sooo makes your day for anyone to tell you you look great especially on a day your not really feeling it

[AnotherJessica]

I'm finally realizing after a very long time that I've been incredibly stupid and have settled for much less than what I deserve.

[LovelyLiz]

Just ran into the guy from this post (the one who flirted up a storm with me in a class last term, asked me out for coffee, and was engaged the whole time to a woman he never thought to mention). For a lot of reasons I won't go into, that sequence of events took me into a pretty dark space over the past couple of months, which I am now just only barely beginning to emerge from.

He just said, "My fiancee and I need to have you over some time. We can drink a lot of wine and talk about music. You're so great. And she would really like you - you remind me of a good friend of hers, but you're shorter."

I know he's trying to be nice, and he genuinely likes me, and I'm just being bitter...but seriously man, I'll go over to your house and hang out with you and your fiancee when hell freezes over.

At least this encounter reminded me that I need to keep working to let the baggage from this event go. I don't want to hang onto these negative feelings - they bear bad fruit in my life. I want good fruit.

[Fallenangel2904]

Originally Posted by Punkin1024

Depression is difficult for anyone - especially us women. I hope you are seeing a professional for help. Let us know how we can help you pull through this. ((((Hugs))))

Originally Posted by WomanlyHips

I can totally relate to this, sending good vibes your way, I'm sorry you're suffering right now..

Thank you both. I've been going through a very hard break up the last 3-4 weeks and it's taken its toll on me. So much hurt, anger, pain, betrayal....I can't even get into it because it's one big mess after another that just keeps snowballing, but it has brought me so far down. Thank you very much for the concern. I'm starting to try to be alright, and I appreciate the well wishes more then you know.

[Carrie]

Originally Posted by Fallenangel2904

Thank you both. I've been going through a very hard break up the last 3-4 weeks and it's taken its toll on me. So much hurt, anger, pain, betrayal....I can't even get into it because it's one big mess after another that just keeps snowballing, but it has brought me so far down. Thank you very much for the concern. I'm starting to try to be alright, and I appreciate the well wishes more then you know.

Robin, I just wanted to add my hope and good wishes for you. I'm so sorry you're going through this; breakups are very hard. Hang in there, kiddo.

[LoveBHMS]

Originally Posted by mcbeth

Just ran into the guy from this post (the one who flirted up a storm with me in a class last term, asked me out for coffee, and was engaged the whole time to a woman he never thought to mention). For a lot of reasons I won't go into, that sequence of events took me into a pretty dark space over the past couple of months, which I am now just only barely beginning to emerge from.

He just said, "My fiancee and I need to have you over some time. We can drink a lot of wine and talk about music. You're so great. And she would really like you - you remind me of a good friend of hers, but you're shorter."

I know he's trying to be nice, and he genuinely likes me, and I'm just being bitter...but seriously man, I'll go over to your house and hang out with you and your fiancee when hell freezes over.

At least this encounter reminded me that I need to keep working to let the baggage from this event go. I don't want to hang onto these negative feelings - they bear bad fruit in my life. I want good fruit.

Yeah...uh..funny how some people totally forget they're engaged when they flirt with others. Even if he's recently engaged officially unless it was a super whirlwind romance where they got engaged 2 days after they met, he knew he was in a relationship when he was flirting. I don't know of any couples where the guy brings home new friends for his fiancee. Betcha he's just covering his tracks and trying to act as if he was not coming onto you, just to make you think *you* got the wrong idea.

[Fallenangel2904]

Originally Posted by Carrie

Robin, I just wanted to add my hope and good wishes for you. I'm so sorry you're going through this; breakups are very hard. Hang in there, kiddo.

Carrie ::hugs:: thank you!!

[Punkin1024]

A little quiet in here this evening (at least at my usual haunts). I'm dealing with a lot of stress right now. Little talking time with hubby (we work at different hours, so our days and nights are mixed-up). Big changes going on at work, and people still don't get that I'm walking and eating healthy to be healthy - not lose weight. Still, I understand that most people in my world think that weight loss is my goal (sigh), so of course, they feel they are making me feel good by commenting on that instead of how glad they are that I have more energy and stamina. I am so glad I don't have to explain all this to you all. DIMS is my happy place.

[CarlaSixx]

IC I'm actually really happy that one of my friends is finally single and decided to stay that way. Now we can do fun things together and not have to really hear much about relationships and we can bitch about boys together. While it is a little sad that he's sad and stuff, I'm going to enjoy the time while he'S still in the mindset of "to hell with penises"

Also... IC I am REALLY stressing about the Gala in September. I need to have everything done before then and have it all be perfect. I have to design an outfit and either buy it or make it, and I really suck at designing but it's the only way to get anything done and I'm afraid to totally butcher everything. Especially the fact that it's so easy to not flatter a fat frame when doing drag. I am hoping I can pull this off but it's going to be a lot of work.

[spiritangel]

lots of hugs

break ups are never easy but sometimes people make them even harder than needs be (my ex turning psycho cyberbullier prooved that)

Hang in there Punkin, I hate being told I have lost weight ect makes me want to put it all straight back on, although on saying that I have loads in the last 5 years and what does my mother say to me "mandy have you put on weight?" sheesh I cant win lol, as long as you are happy, healthy ect then dont let what others think get you down

McBeth, whatever you choose to do remember, someone likes you for who you are, as a friend or otherwise that should boost you just a little and remember we all think your awesome!!! Whilst it may be hard letting go of the baggage and the bitterness is the right thing to do as all that negativity eats away at us from within. Never forget how wonderful and amazing you truly are


as for me just pulling myself out of a case of I feel like I am destined to be forever singles, by doing such fun stuff as chores and housework lol and a case of the green eyed monster cause my sister has been rubbing it in that she is getting the new e craft cutting machine cause her bf is buying for her and I cant afford it atm although I would love to get the pack she is getting cause it comes with tons of bonus stuffs. add to that a phone call in the wee small hrs of this morning from my cousin full of drama with her ex, and she has done the oh so brilliant thing and jumped into a new relationship and gotten engaged before she is even divorced, and then the sms's this morning from my sister about the site I saw the ecraft cheaper ect but then she decided she diddnt want that package and the one over here is better anyway lol meh what a day. It seems I am the token single girl atm, and seem to be being left out of lots of things as usual meh cant wait till october and my two week meditaion retreat

Hugs

[calauria]

Originally Posted by spiritangel

lots of hugs

break ups are never easy but sometimes people make them even harder than needs be (my ex turning psycho cyberbullier prooved that)

Hang in there Punkin, I hate being told I have lost weight ect makes me want to put it all straight back on, although on saying that I have loads in the last 5 years and what does my mother say to me "mandy have you put on weight?" sheesh I cant win lol, as long as you are happy, healthy ect then dont let what others think get you down

McBeth, whatever you choose to do remember, someone likes you for who you are, as a friend or otherwise that should boost you just a little and remember we all think your awesome!!! Whilst it may be hard letting go of the baggage and the bitterness is the right thing to do as all that negativity eats away at us from within. Never forget how wonderful and amazing you truly are


as for me just pulling myself out of a case of I feel like I am destined to be forever singles, by doing such fun stuff as chores and housework lol and a case of the green eyed monster cause my sister has been rubbing it in that she is getting the new e craft cutting machine cause her bf is buying for her and I cant afford it atm although I would love to get the pack she is getting cause it comes with tons of bonus stuffs. add to that a phone call in the wee small hrs of this morning from my cousin full of drama with her ex, and she has done the oh so brilliant thing and jumped into a new relationship and gotten engaged before she is even divorced, and then the sms's this morning from my sister about the site I saw the ecraft cheaper ect but then she decided she diddnt want that package and the one over here is better anyway lol meh what a day. It seems I am the token single girl atm, and seem to be being left out of lots of things as usual meh cant wait till october and my two week meditaion retreat

Hugs

*hugs* Well, at least your sis calls you. My older sister lives next door to me with her boyfriend and two teens and she only comes over when she wants something. Last week I was really sick and she knew about it, but didn't come over to see how we were doing. And knowing I have two autistic lil ones. Good thing my lil ones and I are an independent bunch or else we'd be in trouble....My lil ones know to call 911 if it ever comes a time when mommie can't wake up or any other emergency. Only my mom came to see how I was doing that week and she lives across town.

[spiritangel]

Originally Posted by calauria

*hugs* Well, at least your sis calls you. My older sister lives next door to me with her boyfriend and two teens and she only comes over when she wants something. Last week I was really sick and she knew about it, but didn't come over to see how we were doing. And knowing I have two autistic lil ones. Good thing my lil ones and I are an independent bunch or else we'd be in trouble....My lil ones know to call 911 if it ever comes a time when mommie can't wake up or any other emergency. Only my mom came to see how I was doing that week and she lives across town.

haha no it was text message and msn and believe me it is pretty rare, she never asks me over and we live about 10mins from each other she never even checks to see if I am ok considering that I am really isolated these days loosing the bestie and the bf within a few months of each other ect, her attitude is I am welcome at her house anytime but I dont like going where I havent been invited and when I do go I always feel like I am intruding.

Hugs I hear the not checking on you thing I was in hospital a few years back and she never even called me

she actually talks to one of my exes more than she talks to me hmm and come to think of it probbably sees him more as that is where they stay when shes in sydney with the girls I try not to dwell on these things but some days it does get to me especially as lately whenever she talks to me she is all about all the new scrapping stuff ect she has been buying knowing full well I just cant afford it. Family sux sometimes, I am always meh when I dont get to sleep properly and get woken up with text messages ect I will ge through it and remember sometimes friends make better family and your sister like mine needs a good boot up the butt and a reminder of what good sisters they have

[LovelyLiz]

Originally Posted by LoveBHMS

Yeah...uh..funny how some people totally forget they're engaged when they flirt with others. Even if he's recently engaged officially unless it was a super whirlwind romance where they got engaged 2 days after they met, he knew he was in a relationship when he was flirting. I don't know of any couples where the guy brings home new friends for his fiancee. Betcha he's just covering his tracks and trying to act as if he was not coming onto you, just to make you think *you* got the wrong idea.

That's actually a really compelling theory, thanks for sharing it, and for sympathizing. I appreciate it.

Originally Posted by spiritangel

McBeth, whatever you choose to do remember, someone likes you for who you are, as a friend or otherwise that should boost you just a little and remember we all think your awesome!!! Whilst it may be hard letting go of the baggage and the bitterness is the right thing to do as all that negativity eats away at us from within. Never forget how wonderful and amazing you truly are

I have enough people liking me as a friend! LOL. Seriously though, thanks for your encouragement. Here's to both of us letting go of some of the baggage, bitterness and green-eyed-monsters we may be dealing with!

[Famouslastwords]

Originally Posted by Punkin1024

Wow - those whole wheat blondies sound wonderful! I'm gonna look for that cookbook, sounds like it is exactly what I'd like in a cookbook!

It's really good! I just made the brownies from that cookbook tonight, and I ate most of them throughout the course of the night. I keep telling myself at least it wasn't a box of processed brownies...whole wheat flour, no sugar added cocoa, honey again instead of sugar, olive oil instead of butter or vegetable oil, egg, and some of the usual suspects found in brownies like 1/4 tsp of salt, baking soda, and baking powder.

They also have a recipe for Russet fries that is delicious, but I try not to eat too many potatoes.

Both the brownies and the blondies are better after they've cooled down. The more room temperature, the better.

[MizzSnakeBite]

Originally Posted by Punkin1024

Adding my 2 cents in! I pray for you every day, girlie!

Thank ya so much, Ella

Originally Posted by Weeze

I, somewhere, somehow... got the guts to apply to college. Real college. No more community college, and no more only being half an hour from home at girls' school.
Real college... away from home...

Holy crap, I'm nervous.

Oooh! Congrats!!! You'll love it!

Originally Posted by Tau

@Miz - praying hard for you chick *squishes*

Thanks, sweetie .

Originally Posted by Famouslastwords

Yeah. I've totally tried to do this, and am still trying. Last night I made chipotle beef with pearled barley and cauliflower and whole wheat blondies for dessert. These blondies are special as they're made with whole wheat, olive oil instead of butter, and honey instead of sugar. They also have organic almond butter, and coconut milk, and 72% cocao chips in them. They taste healthy, but they still taste good. I've been cooking out of this cook book (when I'm not eating out...) called the Master Your Metabolism cookbook, it's all about healthy eating and fresh organic foods, and real nonprocessed foods that speak your body's language.

Have you been impressed with the recipes you've made? Do you recommend the cookbook?

Originally Posted by calauria

I've been really sick lately and have not been outside for a week. I have a sibling who lives only right next door. She knows I've been sick, yet she hasn't even been by to check on my kids and me. To see if I'm even still alive!! She only comes by when she wants something!!!!!

(((HUGS))) I hope you start feeling better soon.

Originally Posted by CarlaSixx

IC I feel that if the people from my past were to see me at my weight now, they would say to themselves "Thank God I stopped talking to her."

Oh boy, yeah. That sucks. Calauria's right; they wouldn't be good people to be around.

Originally Posted by CarlaSixx

IC tonight I had a blast!

My size did not stop me from dancing pretty much all night. Nor did it stop people from approaching me. Apparently I was the life of the party and I really liked that Leave it to my gays to make me feel better about myself, lol. It was great!

Glad you had a fun time .

Originally Posted by AnotherJessica

I'm finally realizing after a very long time that I've been incredibly stupid and have settled for much less than what I deserve.

(((hugs)))

Originally Posted by mcbeth

Just ran into the guy from this post (the one who flirted up a storm with me in a class last term, asked me out for coffee, and was engaged the whole time to a woman he never thought to mention). For a lot of reasons I won't go into, that sequence of events took me into a pretty dark space over the past couple of months, which I am now just only barely beginning to emerge from.

He just said, "My fiancee and I need to have you over some time. We can drink a lot of wine and talk about music. You're so great. And she would really like you - you remind me of a good friend of hers, but you're shorter."

I know he's trying to be nice, and he genuinely likes me, and I'm just being bitter...but seriously man, I'll go over to your house and hang out with you and your fiancee when hell freezes over.

At least this encounter reminded me that I need to keep working to let the baggage from this event go. I don't want to hang onto these negative feelings - they bear bad fruit in my life. I want good fruit.

Oh boy......that's loads of fun. lol Yeah, it's good to let all the bad feelings go, but even then, I would probably still feel uncomfortable about getting together.

You're a good fruit .

Originally Posted by Fallenangel2904

Thank you both. I've been going through a very hard break up the last 3-4 weeks and it's taken its toll on me. So much hurt, anger, pain, betrayal....I can't even get into it because it's one big mess after another that just keeps snowballing, but it has brought me so far down. Thank you very much for the concern. I'm starting to try to be alright, and I appreciate the well wishes more then you know.

(((HUGS))) I'm sorry you're going through such a hard time right now.

Originally Posted by Punkin1024

A little quiet in here this evening (at least at my usual haunts). I'm dealing with a lot of stress right now. Little talking time with hubby (we work at different hours, so our days and nights are mixed-up). Big changes going on at work, and people still don't get that I'm walking and eating healthy to be healthy - not lose weight. Still, I understand that most people in my world think that weight loss is my goal (sigh), so of course, they feel they are making me feel good by commenting on that instead of how glad they are that I have more energy and stamina. I am so glad I don't have to explain all this to you all. DIMS is my happy place.

(((hugs))), Ms. Ella! I hope at least some of the stress decreases!

Originally Posted by spiritangel

as for me just pulling myself out of a case of I feel like I am destined to be forever singles, by doing such fun stuff as chores and housework lol and a case of the green eyed monster cause my sister has been rubbing it in that she is getting the new e craft cutting machine cause her bf is buying for her and I cant afford it atm although I would love to get the pack she is getting cause it comes with tons of bonus stuffs. add to that a phone call in the wee small hrs of this morning from my cousin full of drama with her ex, and she has done the oh so brilliant thing and jumped into a new relationship and gotten engaged before she is even divorced, and then the sms's this morning from my sister about the site I saw the ecraft cheaper ect but then she decided she diddnt want that package and the one over here is better anyway lol meh what a day. It seems I am the token single girl atm, and seem to be being left out of lots of things as usual meh cant wait till october and my two week meditaion retreat

Hugs

(((HUGS))) to you too!

I'm sure a great guy and an ecraft are in your future!

[spiritangel]

Hugs Devi umm mayby ecraft is more possible than a guy atm


how are you feeling?

[Sweet Tooth]

IC Sometimes it's hard to keep one's mouth shut. And that's all I'm saying about that. LOL

[Vespertine]

Originally Posted by mcbeth

That's actually a really compelling theory, thanks for sharing it, and for sympathizing. I appreciate it.

I just want to +1 what LovesBHM said.

IC waiting for an e-mail has me compulsively checking it. Somebody take my gmail app away...

[LoveBHMS]

Originally Posted by Vespertine

I just want to +1 what LovesBHM said.

IC waiting for an e-mail has me compulsively checking it. Somebody take my gmail app away...

I also wanted to add that i'm laying down really good odds you have not heard the last of him. I'm guessing he's going to be super friendly over the next week or so.

Also 1 in 2 chance his fiancee isn't fat and he's a closet case.

[thirtiesgirl]

Originally Posted by mcbeth

Just ran into the guy from this post (the one who flirted up a storm with me in a class last term, asked me out for coffee, and was engaged the whole time to a woman he never thought to mention). For a lot of reasons I won't go into, that sequence of events took me into a pretty dark space over the past couple of months, which I am now just only barely beginning to emerge from.

He just said, "My fiancee and I need to have you over some time. We can drink a lot of wine and talk about music. You're so great. And she would really like you - you remind me of a good friend of hers, but you're shorter."

I know he's trying to be nice, and he genuinely likes me, and I'm just being bitter...but seriously man, I'll go over to your house and hang out with you and your fiancee when hell freezes over.

At least this encounter reminded me that I need to keep working to let the baggage from this event go. I don't want to hang onto these negative feelings - they bear bad fruit in my life. I want good fruit.

I hate it when guys behave this way. I think they think it's "safe" for them to flirt because they're engaged, fooling themselves into thinking they won't really do anything because they've got a fiance. But underneath the idea that it's "safe" to flirt is the thought that maybe they could make it work, maybe you'll be into a hook-up, even if they're engaged or married. They're not going to tell you at first to try and feel you out and reel you in. That whole "testing the waters" thing. Then they'll make some mention of their fiance or spouse to see how you'll react and see if you're willing to continue the flirtation. I've had this happen with married and engaged guys more times than I care to count. It absolutely sucks.

Good for you for letting things go and not hanging on to the bad feelings, though. That's something I still have a hard time doing. When I encounter shit like this in my life, I can brood about it for months.

[Famouslastwords]

Originally Posted by MizzSnakeBite

Have you been impressed with the recipes you've made? Do you recommend the cookbook?

I do! I am impressed with the way they make healthy food taste pretty good. I can't glow enough about the book. There is a recipe for pear sorbet I want to try, but I need a ice cream maker to make it. So far, my favorite recipe (and I've made it twice since I've gotten this book) is almond crusted chicken. The coating is much better than any shake and bake I've had...and that's what I used to coat my chicken in. This is much healthier too.

They have a list of the things that each recipe does at the top of the recipe like decrease inflammation, boost metabolism, heart healthy, beautiful skin, etc. Sometimes there's so many things it does, just by a simple combination of things, that you're amazed!

[mossystate]

Doctor's appointment this morning. Went in to discuss the results of the vampires going after me last month. My blood glucose reading was elevated, so they also wanted to stick my finger to do the hemoglobin a1c test. I thought I was for sure going to get a diabetes diagnosis, but for now, I am skirting the monster. A1c was 5.9. That is slightly over the top of the acceptable range, so I really want to get that down.

My trigycerides were higher than normal, but she was not alarmed, saying it wasn't much...but there again is that lurking evil. My bad cholesterol was fine, and my good cholesterol was really good, so she said. Blood pressure had been 140/80 at my visit last month. Today it was something like 116/76. The weird thing was my weight. I don't know that the assistant got it right, but I was 20 pounds less than last year this time, the last time I knew my weight. That really makes NO sense...so I am wondering. I don't see a difference in how my clothing fits...at all...and my eating habits did not get magically better. Weird.

I do not want diabetes, and while I know I won't do everything I can to make that not happen, I hope I can do enough. The nurse practitioner was not a lecturing type, and that made everything feel less stressful. Small changes and I will go from there. How much of a fat woman am I that I told roomie that if I did get an absolute diabetes diagnosis, I was going to tell him to get me a huge birthday cake as my last big hurrah. * slaps forehead * lol

And that concludes this chapter of Monique Finally Starts Going To The Doctor.

[nettie]

IC I often visit this forum because I find such support, wisdom, and compassion from the women here. I know I don't post a lot, but I am here, and I need to say thanks more often. So .... thanks to all of you for sharing your stories, your insight, your love.

And big hugs to everyone who is hurting tonight.