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Old 07-11-2009, 06:35 PM   #76
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Originally Posted by Fascinita View Post
So what I wonder is, are we talking about differences between groups more than anything here-- a kind of clan warfare? Because I think at the level of individuals maybe those differences make less of a difference.

I know some women here have told stories of friendships that fall apart because of the pressure that being "the wrong size" exerts. But I'm wondering if those problems shouldn't be chalked up to individual tensions. That is, can we really say across the board that ALL individuals who are a certain size behave in a certain way? And if we do that, how does it help the idea of inclusion?
Honestly, it's a pattern I've seen in a lot of the subcultures I've been involved with: groups break off into smaller factions, there's talk about who's "real" and who isn't.

I think in this case it's because, for the most part, we're on Dims because of difference. We feel different from what we feel pressure to look like as women, and we are different from fat women whose goal it is to get skinny ASAP and don't stop to consider that they could be happy as they are, or that fatness could be a valid part of their identity.

I feel pretty safe in saying that a lot of us-- if not all of us-- have felt marginalized in some way because of our weight. So now that we're here and talking about it? Well, I can't speak for you all, but I don't think I've ever had a frank, face-to-face discussion with another woman of size about our shared feelings regarding our bodies.

This is still new territory for me. It's much easier for me to instantly go to that mindset I've grown accustomed to: I am an outsider, I am different from everyone else, I can't be a [label] because [reason], they do not accept me as one of them. I'm still trying to navigate how be inclusive, and feel included.
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Last edited by StarWitness; 07-11-2009 at 06:38 PM.
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Old 07-15-2009, 08:57 PM   #77
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Hm, I seemed to have killed the thread.

*loots the corpse*
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Old 07-15-2009, 08:57 PM   #78
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Hm, I seemed to have killed the thread.

*loots the corpse*
dont worry i do it all the time LMAO
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Old 07-26-2009, 05:10 PM   #79
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Another in-betweener here... And it all depends on who I'm speaking with. Nearly every FA I've had contact with, thinks that I'm "MUCH" too small and need to gain at least 50+ pounds. My boyfriends keeps telling me that I'm not as big as I think I am, and he loves me just the way I am. (Yay me!)

Per doctor's orders though, I've got to lose. I'm starting to have hip problems and am borderline diabetic and we have a serious history of diabetes and heart disease in our family. So to prevent upcoming issues, I'm trying to change my eating habits. Not easy, but necessary.

So... I'll never be a skinny little thing, I'll always be an in-betweener.... which is okay with me. But it does get tiring hearing "you're not big enough" from the FA's.

I am who I am.... isn't that good enough??
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Old 07-27-2009, 07:10 PM   #80
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Originally Posted by Violet_Beauregard View Post
Another in-betweener here... And it all depends on who I'm speaking with. Nearly every FA I've had contact with, thinks that I'm "MUCH" too small and need to gain at least 50+ pounds. My boyfriends keeps telling me that I'm not as big as I think I am, and he loves me just the way I am. (Yay me!)

Per doctor's orders though, I've got to lose. I'm starting to have hip problems and am borderline diabetic and we have a serious history of diabetes and heart disease in our family. So to prevent upcoming issues, I'm trying to change my eating habits. Not easy, but necessary.

So... I'll never be a skinny little thing, I'll always be an in-betweener.... which is okay with me. But it does get tiring hearing "you're not big enough" from the FA's.

I am who I am.... isn't that good enough??
Yeah, I'd say it is.

I'm 5'6" and (currently, or should I say last time I checked) 165.6 lbs. I'm not skinny and judging by the BMI I'm 'overweight' for my height, but really I guess I'm more average. My guy is an FA, 'bisizual', and seems to just love plumpness in a woman, whether a little or a lot.

Meeting my boyfriend and finding the size acceptance community has in many ways been an incredible boon to my self-image and self-esteem, but sometimes I wonder where I fit in in the FA attraction continuum as a whole, and in my boyfriend's particular spectrum of attraction to larger women. Sometimes I feel very fat (to myself) -- I look at my thighs and I think 'damn, these are some nice, thick, fat thighs!' Yet when I look at other, larger girls, I feel more slender, especially in areas like my belly and back.

So I'm wondering about the fate of the 'average' woman in America. As the average size goes up, will -- or has -- the definition/label of BBW in the size-acceptance/fat acceptance community expand to embrace the average-sized plump woman (as it has for adult-oriented BBW sites, where women my size and even under are labeled as BBWs and plumpers) or will it shrink to include only women of a certain weight or look? I don't really know -- I'm just musing out loud.

I realize that I'm probably too slender for a lot of FAs, and yet I'm probably too fat for a lot of non-FAs. So I'm grateful that I have the great guy I'm with now -- he accepts me for who I am as a person and as a woman, and loves how I look and feel -- all of me!
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Old 07-27-2009, 07:28 PM   #81
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My feelings exactly. You make some VERY valid musings and definitely food for thought.

I know Dimensions is all about fat-acceptance and size-acceptance... but I personally don't like to be defined by my size.... I prefer to be defined by the person that I am. Don't get me wrong... I like to look good... and I want people to think I look good. And I think people should feel good about themselves and their appearance, but I'd like to see everyone defined the same way.... for the people that they are... the whole package: inside and out, and for how they live their lives and treat others, not just what they look like.



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Originally Posted by GutsGirl View Post
Yeah, I'd say it is.

I'm 5'6" and (currently, or should I say last time I checked) 165.6 lbs. I'm not skinny and judging by the BMI I'm 'overweight' for my height, but really I guess I'm more average. My guy is an FA, 'bisizual', and seems to just love plumpness in a woman, whether a little or a lot.

Meeting my boyfriend and finding the size acceptance community has in many ways been an incredible boon to my self-image and self-esteem, but sometimes I wonder where I fit in in the FA attraction continuum as a whole, and in my boyfriend's particular spectrum of attraction to larger women. Sometimes I feel very fat (to myself) -- I look at my thighs and I think 'damn, these are some nice, thick, fat thighs!' Yet when I look at other, larger girls, I feel more slender, especially in areas like my belly and back.

So I'm wondering about the fate of the 'average' woman in America. As the average size goes up, will -- or has -- the definition/label of BBW in the size-acceptance/fat acceptance community expand to embrace the average-sized plump woman (as it has for adult-oriented BBW sites, where women my size and even under are labeled as BBWs and plumpers) or will it shrink to include only women of a certain weight or look? I don't really know -- I'm just musing out loud.

I realize that I'm probably too slender for a lot of FAs, and yet I'm probably too fat for a lot of non-FAs. So I'm grateful that I have the great guy I'm with now -- he accepts me for who I am as a person and as a woman, and loves how I look and feel -- all of me!

Last edited by Violet_Beauregard; 07-27-2009 at 07:38 PM.
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