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Old 07-07-2009, 09:34 PM   #1
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Default Online dating: BBW sites vs. non-specific sites

I haven't posted before, but I figured the BBW forum might be a good place to start.

I'm interested to know what other BBW experience with online dating sites. Do you feel, overall, your experiences with online dating are positive?
Do you notice a difference between BBW-specific sites and standard ones?

I am not sure how I feel about dating websites. My experience with standard sites (that don't cater to BBWs) has been a little frustrating.
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Old 07-07-2009, 09:49 PM   #2
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The only non bbw dating sites I tried were - okcupid, afroromance, and blackpeoplemeet. None of those worked for me. Okcupid worked for my friend in that she got a date, but it was a horrible date. I had much more luck with bbw dating sites, but I suppose luck is a realative term. I found it was really easy to hook up using the bbw dating sites, but it was hard finding a guy who was interested in more than just casual sex. I also had luck with the various BDSM dating sites because they have BBW/BHM sections. But if that isn't your thing then that won't work.

I think any dating site can work, but you just have to slog thru the jerks before you find a decent guy. Same can be said for men as well. We all have to talk to a lot of people before we find a goodun, but I found that process to be too much work and I've sworn off dating sites all together. I just don't have the energy for all the nonsense. I'll just have to meet someone the old fashioned way. I'm willing to wait.
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Old 07-08-2009, 02:38 AM   #3
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I am on a couple and to tell you the truth am starting to get really tired of the whole thing.

I have encountered the following - men who tell me I am not fat enough, tell me I am too fat, they are slightly deranged, they are married, they have abnormal affections for stuffed animals, are only after sex, only want to know what I eat, men who send me pictures of their penis even before they find out my name.

I am starting to wonder where the good ones are! If they even exist.

Look, give it a go! Just be prepared to wade through the slush pile. Good luck
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Old 07-08-2009, 05:39 AM   #4
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I've had decent luck with OKC. Lots of dates, but no one has been quite right.

The dude I totally fell for found me there, actually....
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Old 07-08-2009, 09:08 AM   #5
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My experience with dating sites is limited to free ones because well, I'm cheap and don't want to pay for one. I have never, ever gotten a date or even really started a long conversation with anyone from a BBW only site. I've had much much much better luck with regular ones.. especially OkCupid and Craigslist personals although Plenty of Fish is okay as well.

The most quality boys are found on this site though, imo.
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Old 07-08-2009, 12:06 PM   #6
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I agree with thatgirl08. For me, BBW specific sites weren't very good, because it seemed all the men I met there lived too far away. I'm not interested in long distance, I want a guy who lives close by so we can actually spend time together on a regular basis. I've found Plenty Of Fish worked really well. Have met a lot of guys on there and all live close to me.

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Old 07-08-2009, 12:46 PM   #7
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In my experience, the men I met on BBW-specific dating sites were obsessive- truly focused on my size/body. The guys I encountered on POF were creepy and looking solely for sex. I tried some non BBW-specific sites such as Match and Chemistry; I was very upfront in my profile about my size and that I was looking for a man who can truly appreciate (i.e. not tolerate) a BBW. Although the dates were sometimes just as horrible, I'd say that the latter is the way to go, especially if you're looking for a quality man who just happens to like fat women.
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Old 07-08-2009, 03:33 PM   #8
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It's interesting that 2 of you found Plenty of Fish to be decent. The guys who have contacted me on there seem to be real jerks. The worst ones contact me initially, and it's just annoying because why would someone email you first, and then be rude about it later. I could see if I were the one initiating emails, but I'm not. I totally understand if people are not interested, but if you bother to contact me first, you should at least be somewhat polite.
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Old 07-08-2009, 04:56 PM   #9
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Originally Posted by MIgirl2008 View Post
It's interesting that 2 of you found Plenty of Fish to be decent. The guys who have contacted me on there seem to be real jerks. The worst ones contact me initially, and it's just annoying because why would someone email you first, and then be rude about it later. I could see if I were the one initiating emails, but I'm not. I totally understand if people are not interested, but if you bother to contact me first, you should at least be somewhat polite.
Unfortunately, when it comes to online dating, you will see some pretty poor and nonsensical behavior. If you can, try to grow a thicker skin by reminding yourself that they're likely messed up and it has nothing to do with you.
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Old 07-08-2009, 06:42 PM   #10
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I've had dates from Match, Craigslist, OKC, eHarmony and Chemistry. None were particular horror stories. I've never met anyone off of a BBW dating site - ever, which I always thought was odd.

I would not recommend Chemistry. Not because of the quality of men, but I'm not sure I buy their matching criteria, and I also don't think they have a big enough pool of men to warrant the highway robbery they charge for membership.

I'm over the dating site thing for the most part. It got tiresome after a while and I kind of gave up on it. I'd say out of all of them I preferred OKC and Craigslist the most. I felt like it was easier to get a feel for who the person was and that communication was freer and more open, probably because contacting people and talking was free.

Good luck!
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Old 07-08-2009, 09:08 PM   #11
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I like okcupid for its feel; it seems like a smart, quirky site where you can meet smart, quirky people. That's not necessarily the case, mind you-- although I had a pretty sweet fwb arrangement with someone I met on okc a few years ago-- but it stands out in my mind.
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Old 07-08-2009, 09:13 PM   #12
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It's interesting that 2 of you found Plenty of Fish to be decent. The guys who have contacted me on there seem to be real jerks.
I found that there are jerks pretty much everywhere, especially on dating sites/the internetz.

My mom found her boyfriend on POF, I'm pretty sure. Either that or Craigslist.
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Old 07-08-2009, 10:07 PM   #13
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Yeah that's true.

In respones to:
Unfortunately, when it comes to online dating, you will see some pretty poor and nonsensical behavior. If you can, try to grow a thicker skin by reminding yourself that they're likely messed up and it has nothing to do with you.

Last edited by MIgirl2008; 07-08-2009 at 10:08 PM. Reason: just to clarify what I was responding too, lol
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Old 07-08-2009, 11:25 PM   #14
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Default BBW sites are great!

I'm surprised by the feedback of the BBW specific sites. I had a great experience!! It went like this....

I decided to try the whole online dating thing at the beginning of summer 2007. I used only BBW specific sites, as I thought I would find more men who would appreciate larger women there than on say eHarmony. I got a slew of responses in the first week. There was a weeding out process so to speak...some were jerks, some were just not a good match, others are still friends, etc. I really only dated 1 of the men, and he found me on the Dimensions Matching system. He contacted me 2 weeks after I put up my profile, we talked on the phone, A LOT, and finally met in september. We hit it off immediately, got engaged 2 weeks later, married 4 months after that, had a baby 9 months after THAT, and are totally crazy in love.

The thing is, that you are going to find jerks in every population. You just have to weed them out. Realize that their jerkiness was there long before you, so it isn't about you. Also, dating sites aren't an either/or type of proposition. Why not use both and see for yourself where you find the best "catches". Word to the wise though...don't make the mistake that I did of trying to make your profile generic enough to appeal to everyone. I had a profile on another site, and my now hubby was on there too, and never even saw my profile because I said I smoked "occassionally" which I don't, but I don't necessarily mind if my partner does. (there's no box to check for that so I figured occassionally would do it.)

Anyway, happy hunting to you!
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Old 07-09-2009, 02:08 AM   #15
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Old 07-09-2009, 02:51 AM   #16
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I've had great experiences with BBW dating sites such as largefriends.com but never had much luck with the 'normal' ones.
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Old 07-09-2009, 12:15 PM   #17
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Yeah that's true.

In respones to:
Unfortunately, when it comes to online dating, you will see some pretty poor and nonsensical behavior. If you can, try to grow a thicker skin by reminding yourself that they're likely messed up and it has nothing to do with you.
Just to let you know...if you hit that little button that says "quote" over on the right side of a person's post it will quote that post in your reply. And you can use the button with the plus sign and the quotation marks when you want to quote multiple posts. Hope I explained that right and I hope it helps.
Glad to see you're posting either way!
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Old 07-09-2009, 01:13 PM   #18
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You really do have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince.
How true! However, if you go around "kissing frogs", you might want to avoid what happened to these women.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZS4mc...om=PL&index=39

Caution: The video above is for mature audiences only.
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Old 07-09-2009, 03:03 PM   #19
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i tried out POFish, didnt like all to much, and other sites like fling or something like that when I was single..
some had responded, some didnt
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Old 07-10-2009, 08:19 AM   #20
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I think that all online dating sites are a waste of time. I years past, I have tryed paying for them and for trying free sites and they are all stupid. I think that some are just scams to get your email address and others are just to make a quick buck off of lonely people.

I have not been on any of these sites for a long time and I certainly don't plan on ever being on any ever again. When I tryed some of these sites there were only sexual preditors that only wanted one thing (sex) and not a serious relationship with a BBW. So many men there think that that is the only thing a BBW is good for and we will settle for whatever we can get reguardless of who it is just so that we won't be alone, that is a bunch of bunk and these sites are too!
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Old 07-10-2009, 04:24 PM   #21
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I found my girlfriend on a BBW site. There are nice people out there!
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Old 07-12-2009, 09:02 AM   #22
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I am sorry to hear about all of the people that had troubles with 'on-line-dating' sites. I have to say though, I found my current relationship through Plenty Of Fish. I did have plenty of contacts that I tried to chat with there, and, many of them didn't even bother to respond. I thought I was polite and not too intrusive with my intitial contacts. I did however see a lot of women there that would fit the type of person I was looking for. Yes, I'm a guy - physical appearance was important to me. But, after that, a person has to have a personality and commom interests to have a good relationship.
I would like to say that we have been going out for about 6 months now, and I've never been happier. I hope she feels the same way (I think she does).
Ladies, I know there are a lot of men out there that are not deserving of your attention. But the few that do would like to just get a response in return - even if it is just a simple hello. I think that was the biggest disappoinment for me with all of the different sites I tried - people not responding to my introductions and simple intial greetings.
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Old 07-12-2009, 01:33 PM   #23
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I am sorry to hear about all of the people that had troubles with 'on-line-dating' sites. I have to say though, I found my current relationship through Plenty Of Fish. I did have plenty of contacts that I tried to chat with there, and, many of them didn't even bother to respond. I thought I was polite and not too intrusive with my intitial contacts. I did however see a lot of women there that would fit the type of person I was looking for. Yes, I'm a guy - physical appearance was important to me. But, after that, a person has to have a personality and commom interests to have a good relationship.
I would like to say that we have been going out for about 6 months now, and I've never been happier. I hope she feels the same way (I think she does).
Ladies, I know there are a lot of men out there that are not deserving of your attention. But the few that do would like to just get a response in return - even if it is just a simple hello. I think that was the biggest disappoinment for me with all of the different sites I tried - people not responding to my introductions and simple intial greetings.
I think that if I were to get better responces on these sites, I would have stayed a little longer.... maybe I will try again, I am lonely and would really like to meet someone nice. I don't have a lot of time to physically go looking as I work six days a week. Maybe this online thing might still work for me....
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Old 07-12-2009, 08:16 PM   #24
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i used to do the internet dating thing...i figured that in this great big world the liklihood that i would meet my other half in my back yard were pretty slim. i tried eharmony for 2 months and 'based on compatability' got lots of matches. most of the guys i wrote to/wrote back to...the first thing they want is a picture. when i send them one...they are very direct in saying they are not into 'big girls' or never reply back. i was on a few of the sites that are for bbw/bhm...but didn't have alot of luck. most of them just want to talk cybersmut or are only interested in hooking up and not long term. i did meet one very nice guy via an internet site. we talked for a month online and then started calling. he was very brave online, but had little to no conversation or social skills once it got to real time. we ended up parting ways.

i've given up on internet dating sites. i have made some really great male friends just by chatting to guys on regular forum sites i post on (ie dims, political sites, local interest sites), but they generally do not lead to romantic interest...just common interests and polite conversation.

the last several gentlemen i have dated i met just living my life...i met at the store...i met through a coworker, etc. i have gotten more dates with a friendly smile than i have with using a computer
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Old 07-13-2009, 12:22 AM   #25
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I am sorry to hear about all of the people that had troubles with 'on-line-dating' sites. I have to say though, I found my current relationship through Plenty Of Fish. I did have plenty of contacts that I tried to chat with there, and, many of them didn't even bother to respond. I thought I was polite and not too intrusive with my intitial contacts. I did however see a lot of women there that would fit the type of person I was looking for. Yes, I'm a guy - physical appearance was important to me. But, after that, a person has to have a personality and commom interests to have a good relationship.
I would like to say that we have been going out for about 6 months now, and I've never been happier. I hope she feels the same way (I think she does).
Ladies, I know there are a lot of men out there that are not deserving of your attention. But the few that do would like to just get a response in return - even if it is just a simple hello. I think that was the biggest disappoinment for me with all of the different sites I tried - people not responding to my introductions and simple intial greetings.
That would have to be one of my major disappointments! People that don't even respond to a "smile or wink". I made it a policy to respond to all of them, even the creeps (a simple thanks but no thanks costs no time really).

I hate the ones that initiate first contact, you think everything is peachy for a while and then they just drop off the face of the earth with no explanation!
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There is only one happiness in life -- to love and to be loved ~ George Sand
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