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Old 07-13-2009, 08:38 PM   #26
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I'm not sure how old other girls posting on here are, but, as far as it goes for me, thatgirl08 and bigcutiesteph is that the three of us hit our teenage years right as a lot of attention was being brought to loving your body and magazines started including looks for "curvy" girls. I'm not saying that we had it a LOT easier because of those things but I think there was at least a little of it.

(btw, i'm with you two on not really having problems with not feeling feminie. in fact, i felt *more* feminine because i got boobs early on)
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Old 07-13-2009, 10:06 PM   #27
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Originally Posted by StarWitness View Post
Fascinita: I still feel awkward and unfeminine, and I'm almost 25.

Okay, okay, trying to be positive... startiiinnnnggg.... now.

This may be a little silly, but I get compliments regarding being a good hugger. I knew a girl last year who would always tell me that I gave "the best hugs" and would insist on at least one or two when we hung out. I always thought it was a little strange because I don't really encourage physical contact with people I don't know well. I was thinking about it this morning, and I realized that she's very petite, and her boyfriend is thin-- so I probably felt nice and soft and squishy in comparison! Of course she liked hugging me. I can only assume that you ladies get similar comments from time to time.
I've been told this SEVERAL times. And hey if a cute guy wants to hug me I won't pass that up!
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Old 07-13-2009, 11:18 PM   #28
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Originally Posted by krismiss View Post
I'm not sure how old other girls posting on here are, but, as far as it goes for me, thatgirl08 and bigcutiesteph is that the three of us hit our teenage years right as a lot of attention was being brought to loving your body and magazines started including looks for "curvy" girls. I'm not saying that we had it a LOT easier because of those things but I think there was at least a little of it.

(btw, i'm with you two on not really having problems with not feeling feminie. in fact, i felt *more* feminine because i got boobs early on)
You're totally right about that. We have many people to thank for paving the way for us.
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Old 07-14-2009, 07:47 AM   #29
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Ash, I personally have experienced this. Where the interviewer assumed I had diabetes (when I don't) and said she couldn't hire me if I had to take a lot of days off. I'm like wtf? She didn't believe me when I said I didn't have diabetes. I had to remind this lady she couldn't ask me about my health status during an interview and it was for an administrative position (for which I was well qualified) in the wellness center at a college. She was the director of the freaking progam. She had already decided before I even opened my mouth that she wasn't going to hire me. I now work at the college, thankfully not for her. My only regret is not going to the president's office to file a complaint. Luckily I haven't run into her since.
I've worked most of my life in more alternative kinds of jobs, but I have walked into some interviews and gotten "the look".

I also know about the diabetes thing. I've been going to a new nurse practitioner and that's all she thinks about. I swear I come in with a cold and she's telling me to loose weight. Now, mind you, I understand the concern, but the truth is I have perfect blood pressure, heart rate, etc. and every tests I've had my blood sugar has been fine.

The doctor I had before this one was much cooler. She was glad when I stopped yo-yo dieting which is much harder on a body.

Olwen, I wish you had gone to the president about that person. By asking health questions in such a way that person opened themselves up for a discrimination law suit. One they would have deserved! However, the sweetest revenge was being hired by the same college!

Now, that I'm unemployed and looking for work, the weight thing does come to mind. I know in my heart, if they judge me for my size I sure don't want my impeccable work ethic to be used at such a place.
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Old 07-14-2009, 09:22 AM   #30
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Did people in your family praise your fat girliness, Steph? I'm curious about the experiences of those for whom being fat did not mean having to feel unwieldy or unfeminine. That is, was fat seen as more or less normal in your family? Was it an issue at all that you were a growing fat girl?

Thanks for sharing.
Although I come from a fat family, my family is still mostly anti-fat and I was chided for being fat by family members as well, but that never really made me feel unfeminine. Maybe because I subscribed to other characteristics of stereotypical girliness.. makeup and nail polish and dresses.. I loved all of it, even when I was little.
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Old 07-14-2009, 11:01 AM   #31
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Originally Posted by krismiss View Post
I'm not sure how old other girls posting on here are, but, as far as it goes for me, thatgirl08 and bigcutiesteph is that the three of us hit our teenage years right as a lot of attention was being brought to loving your body and magazines started including looks for "curvy" girls. I'm not saying that we had it a LOT easier because of those things but I think there was at least a little of it.

(btw, i'm with you two on not really having problems with not feeling feminie. in fact, i felt *more* feminine because i got boobs early on)
I grew up during Twiggy's big modeling career time..Every one wanted to be stick thin and if you weren't life was hell..Even the girls that I thought weren't big was harassed..Shame on us for buying into the big load of crap..

I hated the fact I wore a 36 C at 9..I have had a love hate relationship with my boobs since the first day I put on the bra..Kills me when I hear women wanting to have boob jobs,me I druther be flat as a board!!!
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Old 07-14-2009, 03:39 PM   #32
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Originally Posted by Fascinita View Post
Did people in your family praise your fat girliness, Steph? I'm curious about the experiences of those for whom being fat did not mean having to feel unwieldy or unfeminine. That is, was fat seen as more or less normal in your family? Was it an issue at all that you were a growing fat girl?

Thanks for sharing.
My family never made me feel less girly, but since I was very fat during my formative years, I was made to feel like a sexual neuter. I was never asked out in high school, never flirted with, and was extremely invisible to the opposite sex. My body was ungainly, and although I didn't have a horrible high school experience in terms of teasing, it was the lack of attention that help to plummet the already low self esteem.

Also, at the age of 9, I went to day camp. The counselors constantly made fun of me (it angers my mom to this day and she wished I told her!). We were supposed to do something with "Grease" and was told I had to play a boy because "I was so big". I suppose these ideas are culturally indoctrinated, think of how fat women are portrayed by fat men on tv when making fun of them etc etc.
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Old 07-14-2009, 06:18 PM   #33
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I'm not sure how old other girls posting on here are, but, as far as it goes for me, thatgirl08 and bigcutiesteph is that the three of us hit our teenage years right as a lot of attention was being brought to loving your body and magazines started including looks for "curvy" girls. I'm not saying that we had it a LOT easier because of those things but I think there was at least a little of it.

(btw, i'm with you two on not really having problems with not feeling feminie. in fact, i felt *more* feminine because i got boobs early on)
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You're totally right about that. We have many people to thank for paving the way for us.
I missed this earlier but yeah, you're probably right about that. :]
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Old 07-14-2009, 06:39 PM   #34
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Originally Posted by krismiss View Post
I'm not sure how old other girls posting on here are, but, as far as it goes for me, thatgirl08 and bigcutiesteph is that the three of us hit our teenage years right as a lot of attention was being brought to loving your body and magazines started including looks for "curvy" girls. I'm not saying that we had it a LOT easier because of those things but I think there was at least a little of it.

(btw, i'm with you two on not really having problems with not feeling feminie. in fact, i felt *more* feminine because i got boobs early on)
I developed early on too. While I liked having boobs, it also drove home the fact that I wasn't like all the other girls. Didn't make me feel feminine, just out of place. Getting the disapproving comments and looks from the older women around me didn't help either.

I sure hope the love your body messages are a help to you millennials. Let's hope the message becomes more widespread.

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I've worked most of my life in more alternative kinds of jobs, but I have walked into some interviews and gotten "the look".

I also know about the diabetes thing. I've been going to a new nurse practitioner and that's all she thinks about. I swear I come in with a cold and she's telling me to loose weight. Now, mind you, I understand the concern, but the truth is I have perfect blood pressure, heart rate, etc. and every tests I've had my blood sugar has been fine.

The doctor I had before this one was much cooler. She was glad when I stopped yo-yo dieting which is much harder on a body.

Olwen, I wish you had gone to the president about that person. By asking health questions in such a way that person opened themselves up for a discrimination law suit. One they would have deserved! However, the sweetest revenge was being hired by the same college!

Now, that I'm unemployed and looking for work, the weight thing does come to mind. I know in my heart, if they judge me for my size I sure don't want my impeccable work ethic to be used at such a place.
You're right, I wouldn't want to work for someone who hates on fat folks all the time either and getting hired anyway was very good revenge.

The sad thing is tho, while I could have filed a complaint, I don't think I could have sued since weight discrimination isn't recognized under the law in this country, except in Minnesota or Missouri I think. One of those midwest M states.
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Old 07-21-2009, 05:20 PM   #35
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The sad thing is tho, while I could have filed a complaint, I don't think I could have sued since weight discrimination isn't recognized under the law in this country, except in Minnesota or Missouri I think. One of those midwest M states.
Not about weight, but the minute the person said "Diabetes" she put herself into the area of protective class. You can't discriminate because someone has a disease, I'm pretty sure the question itself is illegal to ask. When I use to interview perspective employee's I could not ask if they had a car, though the job I was hiring for started when buses did not run.

Anyway, this kind of thing just pisses me off. Once again I think: how about if I interviewed a skinny woman and asked "Do you have bulimia? Because I don't want you gone from your desk all the time because you got to vomit."
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Old 07-21-2009, 05:58 PM   #36
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I developed early on too. While I liked having boobs, it also drove home the fact that I wasn't like all the other girls. Didn't make me feel feminine, just out of place. Getting the disapproving comments and looks from the older women around me didn't help either.
My experience was similar; I developed early and it made me feel even more out of place among my cohort. Breasts made me feel fatter, too, somehow - just more bulges and bumps to contend with, I suppose.






(we've made our peace since then. )
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Old 07-21-2009, 07:40 PM   #37
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Not about weight, but the minute the person said "Diabetes" she put herself into the area of protective class. You can't discriminate because someone has a disease, I'm pretty sure the question itself is illegal to ask. When I use to interview perspective employee's I could not ask if they had a car, though the job I was hiring for started when buses did not run.

Anyway, this kind of thing just pisses me off. Once again I think: how about if I interviewed a skinny woman and asked "Do you have bulimia? Because I don't want you gone from your desk all the time because you got to vomit."
It is illegal to ask about health status. I remember letting her know she couldn't ask me that. I also remember leaving her office in a huff.

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My experience was similar; I developed early and it made me feel even more out of place among my cohort. Breasts made me feel fatter, too, somehow - just more bulges and bumps to contend with, I suppose.






(we've made our peace since then. )
Indeed we have.
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Old 07-22-2009, 07:17 AM   #38
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Vaginas.
I just wanted that to be the first thing i said post ban.
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Old 07-29-2009, 04:40 PM   #39
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I'll bet a good number of us have taken at least one bellydance class.
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Old 07-29-2009, 04:43 PM   #40
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I'll bet a good number of us have taken at least one bellydance class.
I actually have not.. but pst px pls!
oh, are we allowed to be marginally sleazy on the bbw forum?
If not get ye to the lgbt forum and start a belly dancing thread over there!! lmao
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Old 07-30-2009, 08:35 AM   #41
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I'll bet a good number of us have taken at least one bellydance class.
I've done belly dance classes! They are pretty damn fun, though I will admit that I was one of the few women in there who actually had a Belly.
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Old 07-30-2009, 09:47 AM   #42
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I've taken belly dances classes, too. My instructor was too enthusiastic about the whole "BE your belly! FEEL your belly!" thing, and I'm just a little too earthy for so much mumbo jumbo. I quit after three or four classes.

I enjoyed making it jiggle, though.
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Old 07-31-2009, 07:14 PM   #43
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I too took belly dancing classes and got an instructor to come in for girls night out classes at the youth centre I run. Its fun and great exercise too!
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Old 08-01-2009, 09:59 AM   #44
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I'll bet a good number of us have taken at least one bellydance class.
The sig. says it all.
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