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Old 07-13-2009, 04:54 AM   #51
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as a plus sized black woman, i have so many thoughts and words to say about this, however i'm fairly new here and i dont know how PC this place is. not sure if folks can handle a hot kitchen if it was served.
Please serve away!!!
Yes by all means, cook to your hearts content. Steer clear of personal attacks though or it will be removed. We wouldn't want that to happen.
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Old 07-13-2009, 05:08 AM   #52
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Originally Posted by EllorionsDarlingAngel View Post
Yes everyone has there own taste..What other people think of who you are with shouldn't matter if you are both happy then that is what should matter.
Agreed, just saying that race/size does matter to some people clearly. I'd venture to say most have a preference regarding both.
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Old 07-13-2009, 05:15 AM   #53
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About my preferences....I prefer a white fat lady and not a black fat girl... for a black girl I prefer is she's thin
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Old 07-13-2009, 05:20 AM   #54
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I don't know why I take issue with this, but I do. Maybe its because ALL of the black women I know and are friends with are highly educated (masters, doctorates, etc); however they have trouble finding a suitable man of color to date because the fact of the matter is, from where I sit as a black woman is, alot of black men are either taken, in jail, or gay.
not sure what the exact stastistic was where it said how many available black women was to every available black male is but if you subtract the black males that fall into the catagories you mentioned (add black men that dont like to date black women and the ones on the "downlow" to your catagories) it looks even worse.

also take a look at this. just found this out so its new to me.
http://www.theroot.com/blogs/hardlin...oosing-gay-men

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Old 07-13-2009, 09:50 AM   #55
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OP:

In my experience black men seem to bogart pearish blond and ginger SSBBW.

That said...

My only thought is: "My brother has good taste. Kudos!"
Stole the words outta my mouth.
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Old 07-13-2009, 10:34 AM   #56
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I had a job working with a lot of black guys once .. actually, I was one of the only white guys and I remember I'd talk to my girlfriend at the time quite often on the phone whenever I had a break. One day some one asked me what she looked like, so everyone gathered 'round. I showed them the picture in my wallet, which was from the waist up.

The reaction was as follows, all of them, having this gleam in their eyes followed by massive grins and this exact quote from one of them "JUSTIN LIKES THE BIG OL' CUTE WHITE BUNNIES"

I was then inducted as an "honorary brother" at that point, no lie.
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Old 07-13-2009, 10:42 AM   #57
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I don't know about all black guys, but I know mine does.... Seriously though, when I first started going to bbw events way back in the early 90's, the only men that approached me were black so I started going out with them and found out I actually preferred being with them. I still find some white men attractive but it's just not my preference and Butch still finds the beauty in a lot of black women. You like what you like....
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Old 07-13-2009, 05:03 PM   #58
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I can say that I definitely have more black guys approach me. I've never had a white guy ask for my number, that I can remember.
Mind you, that brings up an interesting point. I wonder if part of the perception about this phenomenon arises out of the simple fact that black guys, for whatever reason, are more likely to approach girls on whom they are crushing than white guys are.

Are white guys more likely to admire from afar, unable to summon up the courage to approach someone whom they really, really like, because their insecurities tell them that they think they don't have a shot? Yes, I think so. In my observation, black guys tend to have a higher evaluation of their prowess than white guys do, or at the very least black guys seem not to dread being "shot down" the same way that white guys do.
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Old 07-13-2009, 09:49 PM   #59
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Disclaimer: In no way i'm against interracial dating, DO YOU! And I can't speak for every black soul, only mines and my observations. And i hope that everything i share is to be received maturely. I'm doing my best to cover most points. My thoughts are jumbled with this topic, so bear with me..

I tried to not type a long message, but here it goes *sigh*...

Growing up i've noticed this myself (black guys with fat white women). and let's keep it funky, most people, if not all, have been raised in a home where as a child you've heard adults say some racial or some stereotypical remarks against a certain group of people (whether is may be race, sexuality, or religion). So growing up i've heard numerous of times of how UGLY black men would be with fat white women cuz fat white women will put up mess that black women wont. So since i heard that, it was internalized and it somewhat became true (what you believe is what you receive right?)

It wasn't until i became older and formed my own thoughts and opinions, i started to see people's relationships differently. i no longer had opinions on who or what people love, as long as they don't self-hate. you know that whole "I dont date black women cuz all of them got attitudes and are b*tches". ummm.. let's not forget that your MOTHER is a black woman, you might have a BLACK DAUGHTER from a previous relationship and your SISTER is black and so are you aunts. THAT's when the line is drawn with me and many other black people. Love what you love, but don't disrespect your own

Anyways, as a plus sized black woman living in southern cali where there's interracial relationships left and right, when i was younger it started to make me feel sad cuz i would see many black men with everything BUT black fat women. and it's like "What gives?!!!" it made me start to question my worth and beauty. i dont wanna make this an emotional post however it did hurt growing up to see that. it wasn't until i became grounded in myself, culture, and worth i thought "Well, if the black men can do it, why should i limit myself to exclusively date black men?"

Now what's VERY interesting to me is that only once this white dude approached me. However when i tested the waters and put a ad on craigslist, guess who 98% of my responses came from? OLDER WHITE MEN!! It blew me away. But it made me question alot of things. Are black women only and STILL considered as a fetish? Are we to only be approached and seen in private but not out in public? So many more questions to that, but to me this is what it comes down to: HISTORY

Let's keep it real, it wasn't that long ago Black men couldn't openly date white women without some repercussions (but wait, some things dont change...currently there's another young black man being accused of raping a white girl and is in prison right now, his name is Eric). Plus blacks are hammered and pressured to emulate euro-centric beauty. Lighter skin, hair, eyes, etc- for it's considered as more beautiful and welcoming than some black woman who have naturally more corse hair, broad nose, big lips and other features- so of course with young black men growing up seeing that, they'll believe that one is better than the other. And seeing a black man with a non-black woman can also show status. How many black male celebrities have you seen with black wives? Not too too many right?

Also in my case of me receiving messages from these older white men (age 45+) that i bet growing up it wasn't common for them to date black women either, so now they have a chance to live out their fantasies.

I've asked some black men would they date a white woman and many of them have said "HELL NO! I dont mess with snow bunnies" and i asked them why and the response varies. However they've told me that their buddies who do date them do it mostly cuz they can get away with alot from white women. White women are more submissive while black women have more of a back bone. White women will tolerate more foolishness from a black man while a black woman won't. With that said, it's starting to sound stereotypical right? Black woman= angry, aggressive, heartless and a bitch and White women= submissive, dainty, feminine and apologetic. But anybody who got some kinda sense know that's not true. Every race of a woman have tolerated some BS from a man more than she should've. Every race of a woman know how to please her man when necessary. There are some who do live up to the stereotypes while there are some who don't.


Overall some (i'm iffy to say "many") black women[people] still feel that a Black man with a non-black woman = he's with her cuz he can get away with more with her. Plain and simple

At the end of the day we know that there's an exception to every stereotype and there are BM+WW, BW+WM etc etc who genuinely love each other

PS- whoever said that most black men are either in jail, on drugs, or on the "DL", that's some BS. There are MANY attractive single black men who are doing great things just like every other race. It's the MEDIA (bullsh*t statistics, magazines, books, and tv) that tells BLACK WOMEN that there's a shortage of black men. Created to put fears in our minds and to make money off of us to buy their books and magazines on dating. If you believe that there's a shortage, that's what you'll notice. I'm so sick and tired of blacks being at the bottom of everything & only recognized portraying stereotypes.
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Old 07-14-2009, 09:09 AM   #60
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[B] i no longer had opinions on who or what people love, as long as they don't self-hate. you know that whole "I dont date black women cuz all of them got attitudes and are b*tches". ummm.. let's not forget that your MOTHER is a black woman, you might have a BLACK DAUGHTER from a previous relationship and your SISTER is black and so are you aunts. THAT's when the line is drawn with me and many other black people. Love what you love, but don't disrespect your own
Exactly!!!! I can't tell you how strongly I agree with this point particularly. Also, the link below is to another thread that I think you'd be interested in reading.

http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/fo...t=57203&page=5
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Old 07-14-2009, 09:15 AM   #61
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Originally Posted by BothGunsBlazing View Post
I had a job working with a lot of black guys once .. actually, I was one of the only white guys and I remember I'd talk to my girlfriend at the time quite often on the phone whenever I had a break. One day some one asked me what she looked like, so everyone gathered 'round. I showed them the picture in my wallet, which was from the waist up.

The reaction was as follows, all of them, having this gleam in their eyes followed by massive grins and this exact quote from one of them "JUSTIN LIKES THE BIG OL' CUTE WHITE BUNNIES"

I was then inducted as an "honorary brother" at that point, no lie.
This was legit the best story I've ever heard.

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Originally Posted by kioewen View Post
Mind you, that brings up an interesting point. I wonder if part of the perception about this phenomenon arises out of the simple fact that black guys, for whatever reason, are more likely to approach girls on whom they are crushing than white guys are.

Are white guys more likely to admire from afar, unable to summon up the courage to approach someone whom they really, really like, because their insecurities tell them that they think they don't have a shot? Yes, I think so. In my observation, black guys tend to have a higher evaluation of their prowess than white guys do, or at the very least black guys seem not to dread being "shot down" the same way that white guys do.
I think this is true, especially when it comes to approaching fat girls.
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Old 07-14-2009, 09:51 AM   #62
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i don't know. my gf used to be hit on by a black guy every now and again. people like what they like.

my friends used to think i would end up with a chubby black girl and we are all white. i find all chubby girls to be attractive, and i was particular to black women at the time. now. my gf is a sexy brunette. i always thought my friend would end up with an asian girl but he is going to marry a red head, so you never know what will happen is my answer.

but there do seem to be some stereotypes of what people like.
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Old 07-14-2009, 01:26 PM   #63
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What is it about Americans that people just can't discuss interracial dating without reciting the same quotidian generalizations and tired old stereotypes?

Every time folks start talking about interracial dating, people always use the same trite phrases like self-hate, shortages of available black men, yada yada yada.

People always start raising their eyebrows and talking trash when they see black men dating and marrying nonblack women. Yet, when a white man dates or marries an Asian or Hispanic woman, nobody bats an eye. Why is it permissible for white men to date non white women but not permissible for black men?

I think that people should be able to love whomever they want.


This is the 21st century and people need to get over themselves.








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Old 07-14-2009, 01:50 PM   #64
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it's the 21st century and people are still living in a box, that's why generalizations and stereotypes are still alive and kicking. after all, somebody already said in this thread that white women are smarter than the black women in his town *rolling my eyes*
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Old 07-14-2009, 03:20 PM   #65
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My experience has been the opposite. Several of my boyfriends were white and pretty open about their preference. The only 2 closeted men I dated were black.
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Old 07-14-2009, 03:25 PM   #66
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I don't know why I take issue with this, but I do. Maybe its because ALL of the black women I know and are friends with are highly educated (masters, doctorates, etc); however they have trouble finding a suitable man of color to date because the fact of the matter is, from where I sit as a black woman is, alot of black men are either taken, in jail, or gay. Now, sure there are black men who are educated but the ratio of black women to men re: this issue isn't even close to being equal.

I know it might seem like black women aren't educated, but that just isn't the case, at least in my experience. In fact, there are far more black women with degrees and advanced degrees than black men (I forget the stats on it, but it's pretty staggering). My grandmother had a business degree and ran a YMCA in an era where women were supposed to be barefoot and pregnant; and black women were truly second class citizens. My mother has several degrees (and a couple designations) to her name, and so do my aunts. The list goes on and on.

Maybe instead of making sweeping generalizations that are bound to rub at least some of the fat black chicks on this site the wrong way; try opening your mind a bit...you could learn a thing or two.
I could not have said it better myself. You rock!!
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Old 07-14-2009, 05:12 PM   #67
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Originally Posted by CurvaceousBBWLover View Post
What is it about Americans that people just can't discuss interracial dating without reciting the same quotidian generalizations and tired old stereotypes?

Every time folks start talking about interracial dating, people always use the same trite phrases like self-hate, shortages of available black men, yada yada yada.

People always start raising their eyebrows and talking trash when they see black men dating and marrying nonblack women. Yet, when a white man dates or marries an Asian or Hispanic woman, nobody bats an eye. Why is it permissible for white men to date non white women but not permissible for black men?

I think that people should be able to love whomever they want.


This is the 21st century and people need to get over themselves.



And I concur. Wrestlingguy confession........as a teen, I dated black girls.......AND NONE OF THEM WERE FAT. Sad but true. My FA dom, while in me at that time, became more pronounced in my later years. Sorry, you can all go back to what you were doing.
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Old 07-14-2009, 05:41 PM   #68
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Default It's twoo, it's twoo . . .

I thought this thread was gonna be about that other "Is it true that black guys . . ."

Remember this scene from Blazing Saddles?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=25x_Up-9da0

My girl friends frequently have told me that it's not the 'size of the wand, but the magic in the magician'. (But then they say "Would you mind handing me my vibrator on your way out?" It kinda makes be wonder. . )

Hey! I'm just kidding. Just in case I ever meet any of ya'll at a convention or something. It's really big. It's gargantuan, in fact. You wouldn't be safe using natural lubrication or K-Y Jelly. Bring some WD-40.

- Jim

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Old 07-14-2009, 05:43 PM   #69
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I thought this thread was gonna be about that other "Is it true that black guys . . ."

Remember this scene from Blazing Saddles?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=25x_Up-9da0

My girl friends frequently have told me that it's not the 'size of the wand, but the magic in the magician'. (But then they say "Would you mind hading me my vibrator on your way out?" It kinda makes be wonder. . )

Hey! I'm just kidding. Just in case I ever meet any of ya'll at a convention or something. It's really big. It's gargantuan, in fact. You wouldn't be safe using natural lubrication or K-Y Jelly. Bring some WD-40.

- Jim
You are too funny.
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Old 07-14-2009, 06:12 PM   #70
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My experience has been the opposite. Several of my boyfriends were white and pretty open about their preference. The only 2 closeted men I dated were black.
Hm, this is interesting.
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Old 07-14-2009, 10:04 PM   #71
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I thought this thread was gonna be about that other "Is it true that black guys . . ."

Remember this scene from Blazing Saddles?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=25x_Up-9da0

My girl friends frequently have told me that it's not the 'size of the wand, but the magic in the magician'. (But then they say "Would you mind handing me my vibrator on your way out?" It kinda makes be wonder. . )

Hey! I'm just kidding. Just in case I ever meet any of ya'll at a convention or something. It's really big. It's gargantuan, in fact. You wouldn't be safe using natural lubrication or K-Y Jelly. Bring some WD-40.

- Jim


This is really funny.
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Old 07-15-2009, 06:09 AM   #72
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As Fascinita points out, it is interesting this thread isn't titled "is it true fat white girls like black men?" Why is it we're more insistent on the active desires and choices of the men in these relationships, and not the women? Do we assume that fat white women have no preferences at all? Could it be that fat white women really are the only group of people who are 'post racial' since no one thinks that fat white women have any agency at all in picking their partners?
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Old 07-15-2009, 06:41 AM   #73
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I'm a white guy and I like black girls.....does that count? lol
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Old 07-15-2009, 07:17 AM   #74
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As Fascinita points out, it is interesting this thread isn't titled "is it true fat white girls like black men?" Why is it we're more insistent on the active desires and choices of the men in these relationships, and not the women? Do we assume that fat white women have no preferences at all? Could it be that fat white women really are the only group of people who are 'post racial' since no one thinks that fat white women have any agency at all in picking their partners?
This might be a South African thing only but the general, depressingly popular and ignorant opinion is that white women choose black men cos they don't have a choice, because white men wouldnt touch them with a barge pole so the black guys are the substitute. Sometimes the way people think makes me want to be sick.
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Old 07-15-2009, 07:30 AM   #75
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This might be a South African thing only but the general, depressingly popular and ignorant opinion is that white women choose black men cos they don't have a choice, because white men wouldnt touch them with a barge pole so the black guys are the substitute. Sometimes the way people think makes me want to be sick.
I unfortunately have heard similar inferences here in the US. That if a black guy is with a white woman it must mean there's something wrong with him that a black woman would never let him get away with.
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