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Old 07-11-2009, 04:29 PM   #1
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Default How hard is it...

So, I have a question, and this is the board that I feel most comfortable with, where people seem nice and everything, so I thought I'd ask here.

How hard is it to have a long-distance relationship? Anyone have any positive stories about a long-distance relationship? I mean, I have never had a boyfriend before, and though we are not that far yet, I was just wondering...maybe I am just looking for some positive reinforcement; people who don't automatically think it will fail...
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Old 07-11-2009, 04:31 PM   #2
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if you believe the two of you can make it work, and there's trust in the relationship then long distance relationship will work for you.
just remember trust is the most important thing.
if you don't trust your partner what's the point in being in a relationship anyway
ya know.
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Old 07-11-2009, 04:38 PM   #3
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Yes, you need trust in any intimate relationship.

I guess its the old belief that if you want it enough, then it will work, right?
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Old 07-11-2009, 06:00 PM   #4
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You said you've never had a boyfriend before; I'm not sure if you mean that this is your first relationship with a guy, or your first relationship ever.

My last relationship was long-distance for nine months. We saw each other for 2-4 days every 4-6 weeks. I didn't think it was that hard, but the factors I had in my favor were: we'd been together for a few years at that point, I had a job that I loved and which kept me pretty busy, I spent almost every weekend with friends, and I'm the kind of person who craves plenty of space and alone time. The hardest part for me was feelings of jealousy towards the couple I was living with.

Also, something to consider: how often would you be seeing him? Are your emotional needs going to be met when you've gone for that length of time without physical affection or sex? For some people it's not a big deal; for others, it's everything.

It's really difficult to say, not knowing you, him, or your circumstances. It might help to sit down with him and have an honest discussion about what you want out of the relationship, and what your fears and reservations are about being long distance.
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Old 07-11-2009, 08:57 PM   #5
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It can totally work - my husband and I met in an online game, when I was in Seattle and he was in London. It was really rough when we were so far apart; it was made a little easier because we were able to meet a few times, so we knew that we were physically compatible too. It was REALLY scary before that when I was all panicky that he wouldn't find me attractive in real life. There are some practical issues about carrying on a long-distance relationship - we got phone cards to call back and forth, so it wasn't that expensive, which made a huge difference. Also, working around time zones can be a pain. I'd say it worked out well though Good luck with your new guy, that's way exciting!
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Old 07-12-2009, 01:27 AM   #6
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Hey, if you want to be with your bf its totally worth a shot. If it works out then you know its something worthwhile and that time is really telling. If its not going to work out that will probably become apparent very quickly and you won't be left wondering "what if". I say go for it.
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Old 07-12-2009, 01:32 AM   #7
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Cool my advice.....

Its a challenge I'll admit that much. I've Had a few online and long distance relationships. Hardest part is if you work cuz making time to give the Significant other the attention they deserve is harder. Plus if you have no money you can never go visit the person. I prefer local relationships but if I found the right girl id have a long distance relationship again
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Old 07-12-2009, 10:13 AM   #8
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I had one a few years ago and she lived a couple of hours away and yes its a challenge.Trust is paramount in any relationship.
Hope you can make it work.
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Old 07-13-2009, 07:23 PM   #9
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I was thinking about this thread the other day, and I have a question: would this be a LDR because one (or both) of you is going to college?
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Old 07-13-2009, 08:35 PM   #10
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It is possible but its very hard I currently live in NH she is In Cali we travel back and forth at least every 3 months or so.(as a matter of fact i'm leaving Fri Evening to go see her!!!!!) Trust is probably the most important. Oh and SKYPE is a Savior we sleep with our cams on. sounds silly im sure but i sleep better hearing her breathe! ours is made more complicated because we each have kids from previous marriages so relocating is a challenge but we are working towards a solution now. Also check out The LDR Support Thread
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Old 07-14-2009, 04:15 AM   #11
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LDRs are definitely hard work. I think it is worth it though - I was in an LDR for over a year and I now get to cuddle my partner every night.

I have been interested in many people online but I find that unless you two have another reason to interact properly on a regular basis (forums, gaming, common friends) or can both agree to make a tremendous effort to talk, it tends to fizzle out quickly especially after anything sexual.

It does get easier after the first meeting once you know that there is chemistry, but being apart when you know that it is *love* can get so stressful. My advice: make time for each other, be as sane as you possibly can, try not to jump to conclusions, avoid arguments like the plague, plan regular visits and eventually start working on plans to move in together.
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