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View Poll Results: Is a private BBW sub-forum needed here?
Yes - please post to explain 29 67.44%
No - please post to explain 9 20.93%
Haven't formed an opinion yet 5 11.63%
Voters: 43. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 07-16-2009, 09:13 AM   #51
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Originally Posted by JoyJoy View Post
Successful and valuable in ways that obviously escape you, most likely because:

a) You've got a penis.
b) You're not fat.

There could be other reasons, but I won't speculate further. Suffice it to say that it's not really for you to understand, since the existence of such a forum would not involve you.
I disagree. Exile is a longstanding Dimmer and an obvious hardcore FA who has made many contributions here. He is as entitled to have input about the direction of this community as is anyone.

These issues affect Dims as a whole, and thus I think he's entitled to have input. As he said, when the FA/FFA board was created, everyone had input. Also there is plenty of posting on the BHM board by people who are not FFA or BHM, and more than plenty of posting on the Erotic Weight Gain board by non-fetishists. That is just how it is.
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Old 07-16-2009, 09:25 AM   #52
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Originally Posted by LoveBHMS View Post
I disagree. Exile is a longstanding Dimmer and an obvious hardcore FA who has made many contributions here. He is as entitled to have input about the direction of this community as is anyone.

These issues affect Dims as a whole, and thus I think he's entitled to have input. As he said, when the FA/FFA board was created, everyone had input. Also there is plenty of posting on the BHM board by people who are not FFA or BHM, and more than plenty of posting on the Erotic Weight Gain board by non-fetishists. That is just how it is.
I never said he wasn't entitled to input...just that he likely wouldn't understand the value of it, and that it's not really for him to understand, since the forum wouldn't be FOR him, or involve him. He can rant about why he thinks it's not important or useful all he wants to, but it's rather pointless for these reasons.
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Old 07-16-2009, 09:27 AM   #53
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i'm not entitled to shit actually - it's the mods' decision - but it perpetuates the widespread notion of another bbw forum as another ME TOO forum if those in favor are too smug to argue the why
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Old 07-16-2009, 09:42 AM   #54
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Originally Posted by exile in thighville View Post
i'm not entitled to shit actually - it's the mods' decision - but it perpetuates the widespread notion of another bbw forum as another ME TOO forum if those in favor are too smug to argue the why
The "why" has been argued for months in other threads. Also many of the reasons that were presented for the SSBBW forum would apply to a BBW forum as well. If you have a burning desire to understand why, read those threads. It's not smugness, it's not seeing a reason to rehash what has been stated numerous times.
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Old 07-16-2009, 10:04 AM   #55
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well what's the point of this thread?
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Old 07-16-2009, 10:52 AM   #56
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Originally Posted by exile in thighville View Post
well what's the point of this thread?

I don't understand why it's SO HARD to understand that BBW's would like a private area to talk about our BBW issues. I don't think you have to be a brain surgeon to figure that out.

Seriously? We want to talk about health issues that no one but BBW's deal with and our own ways around these things. We don't want men to be a part of it. Men don't accompany women to their gynecological appointments to critique the doctor on their Pap smear techniques. Why do you all want to know about these things? What's the big deal? Is it because it bothers you to be excluded from something? You don't go through these issues so you don't need to be a part of it. Can someone please make a diagram or something to explain it better. Apparently it's just one of those, you have something and because I can't have it now I don't want anyone to have it situations. It's pretty lame.

IF and i'm saying if here, you wanted to be in a private forum somewhere because you want to talk about your testicles, why would I want to be a part of that seeing I don't have any?

We are not SSBBW's so we are not allowed to be a part of that private area. We want our own private area.

Again. No. Brainer.

No. Brainer.

I personally think you're here just to stir the pot. Lame.
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Old 07-16-2009, 11:06 AM   #57
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I'm not jealous that the SSBBWs have their space. I'm glad they have a valuable resource where they know that lurkers and men can't read about it. It's too bad I can't access it, but I understand their need for privacy. I have never been an SSBBW. I don't know what kinds of issues they have. I actually have only personally met one SSBBW in my life. I'm not too sure if she'll want to ask me any questions that affect her since I'm not going through the same issues. I'm glad that she has a space where she can ask other women about her body issues.

Quote:
Originally Posted by exile in thighville View Post
i'm not entitled to shit actually - it's the mods' decision - but it perpetuates the widespread notion of another bbw forum as another ME TOO forum if those in favor are too smug to argue the why
Of course this is a ME TOO forum.

Do I want a private forum where I can discuss being sexually abused?
ME TOO

Do I want a private forum where I can talk about bodily functions that I'm too embarrassed to bring up where men and lurkers can read it?
ME TOO

If you feel as an FA that the current FA/FFA forum is not enough for you, that you need a private place to discuss FA issues that you're too uncomfortable to post in your protected space... well, uh... ask for one. You can also have a ME TOO forum. Otherwise this is starting to sound like sour grapes on your part.
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Old 07-16-2009, 11:20 AM   #58
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Perhaps the issue here is that the thread debating the potential private BBW board is being discussed within the BBW forum and is thus subject to BBW “no negativity” rules? This makes non-BBW contributions in this thread subject to a burden of scrutiny that did not occur for the precedent discussion regarding a potential FA board on the main forum (whereby non-FA input was not subject to the same kind of rules).

When the FA board was discussed, many BBWs voiced a strong objection to the notion of its creation. These included some of those that have since advocated successfully for the BBW forum. Many were even more vociferous in their complaint when the subject of a private area for FAs was raised. Like the BBW board proposal, the FA board proposal was for a public, yet protected forum. This was what Conrad agreed to in both cases. In both proposals, reference is made to potentially considering a private space as a subsequent addition to the requested forums. A further proposal was not submitted to Conrad asking for a private FA space because there was very little momentum for such a thing once posters realized that they are actually protected from their views being trashed when they posted on the FA forum.

However, the more I think about the two proposals and the two forums, the more it seems clear to me that whilst there are a lot of similarities in the public areas of the FA and BBW boards, the potential private ones are actually quite different. If a private FA board is proposed then it has no gender bias. The focus would be uniquely relevant to being an FA (male or female).

In my opinion, the proposal for a private BBW board ostensibly reads like a request for a private women’s board that is patterned after the SSBBW board in terms of access criteria (sans minimum weight limit) and whose rationale is quite similar to that of the SSBBW board (discussion of BBW-only issues which many of the female members of the community are uncomfortable discussing “in front of” the general population of the Dimensions Community” [from the BBW board proposal] ).

For the record (and for whatever its worth) I wholeheartedly support the open and protected BBW forum. I think that building community in a positive way is a great thing and will ultimately strengthen us all. Sometimes we do need to be able to express our experiences publicly in order to foster an ‘I’m ok. You’re ok. We’re ok’ state of mind.

I suspect the deeper question here is whether privacy would lead to a greater degree of the above state of mind or would it lead to ‘I’m unhappy with being fat. You’re unhappy with being fat. We’re all unhappy with being fat.” instead? Personally I don’t think it would, but I can imagine that this is what people might be concerned about?
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Old 07-16-2009, 11:39 AM   #59
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Originally Posted by exile in thighville View Post
well what's the point of this thread?
And also, the point of this thread is...well, that Tina saw a need to start one with a poll. Enough said. The fact that lengthy threads exist discussing this and you're in here expecting people to explain their reasons more completely does show that you are here just to be contrary, as Surly said, and don't really want an answer to your questions.


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I suspect the deeper question here is that would privacy lead to a greater degree of the above state of mind or would it lead to Im unhappy with being fat. Youre unhappy with being fat. Were all unhappy with being fat. Personally I dont think it would, but I can imagine that this is what people might be concerned about?
I don't understand where this notion might come from. Being unhappy with being fat hasn't come up in the discussion of why the privacy is desired, has it? It hasn't been a problem with the SSBBW forum, so I can't imagine it would be an issue on a BBW forum.

I just don't understand why non-BBW would be upset at allowing BBW a private place to share things. It's not taking anything away from anyone else, because the things that would be posted there are things that don't and likely wouldn't exist as things are, so those who aren't on the private forum wouldn't miss them to begin with.
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Old 07-16-2009, 11:42 AM   #60
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The proponents of this forum followed our example in building in the option. Since there is obviously a degree of of active interest remsining (the purpose as I understand it of the poll) I think the sub-forum option should be exercised.

By the way, in addition to the Clubhouse the Dimension's Writer's Guild has its private forum as well. Adding private foums is very simple with the VB software; the question is simply one of utilization.
This thread's only purpose was to gauge interest. There are no plans to actually make a private forum at this point, as this board is new and we need to see how it goes here for a while first before a private one could be considered. So this is all theory for now.
Quote:
Originally Posted by LoveBHMS View Post
I think (I, FFA, Fetishist, Dims poster of somewhat long standing) that a private BBW forum is going to be like having a charter/magnet school in the public school system. In other words, such a forum and the conversations and threads in such a forum have the potential to siphon off the best and the brightest, both in posts and in posters.
I disagree. It has not happened with the SSBBW board and would not happen with a sub-forum of this one, were it to be created.
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Old 07-16-2009, 11:56 AM   #61
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I don't understand why it's SO HARD to understand that BBW's would like a private area to talk about our BBW issues. I don't think you have to be a brain surgeon to figure that out.

Seriously? We want to talk about health issues that no one but BBW's deal with and our own ways around these things. We don't want men to be a part of it. Men don't accompany women to their gynecological appointments to critique the doctor on their Pap smear techniques. Why do you all want to know about these things? What's the big deal? Is it because it bothers you to be excluded from something? You don't go through these issues so you don't need to be a part of it. Can someone please make a diagram or something to explain it better. Apparently it's just one of those, you have something and because I can't have it now I don't want anyone to have it situations. It's pretty lame.

IF and i'm saying if here, you wanted to be in a private forum somewhere because you want to talk about your testicles, why would I want to be a part of that seeing I don't have any?

We are not SSBBW's so we are not allowed to be a part of that private area. We want our own private area.

Again. No. Brainer.

No. Brainer.

I personally think you're here just to stir the pot. Lame.
Exactly..It's to stir controversy where there really is none..
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Old 07-16-2009, 12:26 PM   #62
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[QUOTE=JoyJoy;1227996]
Quote:
I don't understand where this notion might come from. Being unhappy with being fat hasn't come up in the discussion of why the privacy is desired, has it? It hasn't been a problem with the SSBBW forum, so I can't imagine it would be an issue on a BBW forum.

Exactly. It simply would not be an issue. Trust me, if a woman wants to lose weight, she is not going to care if others don't like it ( omg, one less fat woman, the sky is falling ! ), and she is not going to have no place to go to talk about it. A sub-forum here is not going to become a Jenny Craig meeting. Now, would some women be sitting back, taking in general info given about allowed subjects, and decide she is unhappy being fat...sure...that might happen. It also might happen when she is above ground here at Dims....when she is at home...when she is sitting in traffic...when she is flipping through the latest issue of The Nation. Hmmmmm, talk about deeper fears. It would be moderated. Beyond that, ' you ' cannot force people to live their lives, like you will live ' yours '.

Oh, and I am way overdue for a visit to the gyno...any non-BBW out there interested in coming with me?
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Old 07-16-2009, 12:31 PM   #63
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was it stirring the pot when people jumped down the throat of a private fa forum? was that controversy? have only bbws been sexually abused?

really anyone who mistakes criticism for controversy shouldn't be on a discussion forum, because they've clearly never had a discussion before.
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Old 07-16-2009, 12:38 PM   #64
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This thread's only purpose was to gauge interest. There are no plans to actually make a private forum at this point, as this board is new and we need to see how it goes here for a while first before a private one could be considered. So this is all theory for now.

I disagree. It has not happened with the SSBBW board and would not happen with a sub-forum of this one, were it to be created.
A private women only forum consists of a far greater groups of Dimmers than just the SSBBW forum. As i recall from what has been said publically, its creation created a lot of problems within the community insofar as who was and was not allowed in.

Beyond that, since nobody knows what that forum consists of, I'm not seeing how you can gauge how it has or has not affected the Board at large. As far as what would be discussed in a private BBW forum, can't see how anyone can tell now what it would consist of or how it would affect the Board.

I don't believe a private BBW board could wind up consisting only of health matters, which is why I said I believe it would pull away many posters and valuable posts/discussions from the community at large. There have also been a fair number of public discussions about health issues affecting BBW ranging from inserting a tampon to shaving pubic hair which have occured on the public boards without issue.
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Old 07-16-2009, 12:39 PM   #65
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Old 07-16-2009, 12:53 PM   #66
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the difference is, i'm not gonna be angry about the inevitable private bbw forum, where the protestors of the fa forum were positively freaked
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Old 07-16-2009, 12:59 PM   #67
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The protected FA forum already exists. There is no current discussion for a private FA forum. Yes, men have also been sexually abused... but as it happens, only this sexually abused woman has asked for a private forum to discuss that specific topic.

Quote:
Originally Posted by exile in thighville View Post
was it stirring the pot when people jumped down the throat of a private fa forum? was that controversy? have only bbws been sexually abused?

really anyone who mistakes criticism for controversy shouldn't be on a discussion forum, because they've clearly never had a discussion before.
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Old 07-16-2009, 01:07 PM   #68
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Glad to hear other women are comfortable about discussing those issues in the health forum. I am not. Also, I am not comfortable posting about fat-related health issues that men and lurkers will read.

As for your concern re: topics not being only about health issues... well, I can't guarantee anything. I am not a mod. However, I trust that Conrad and the mods will moderate that.

Quote:
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A private women only forum consists of a far greater groups of Dimmers than just the SSBBW forum. As i recall from what has been said publically, its creation created a lot of problems within the community insofar as who was and was not allowed in.

Beyond that, since nobody knows what that forum consists of, I'm not seeing how you can gauge how it has or has not affected the Board at large. As far as what would be discussed in a private BBW forum, can't see how anyone can tell now what it would consist of or how it would affect the Board.

I don't believe a private BBW board could wind up consisting only of health matters, which is why I said I believe it would pull away many posters and valuable posts/discussions from the community at large. There have also been a fair number of public discussions about health issues affecting BBW ranging from inserting a tampon to shaving pubic hair which have occured on the public boards without issue.
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Old 07-16-2009, 01:09 PM   #69
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Can someone just write a proposal and let Conrad/mods decide?
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Old 07-16-2009, 01:12 PM   #70
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There should be a private bbw board and there should be a private mens board....not FA's but FA's and bhm's. Women need a place to discuss being a woman and men need a place to duscuss being a man....I guess, lol.

All this bickering back and forth just seems....a bit jr high.
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Old 07-16-2009, 01:14 PM   #71
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I know that I...meeeeeee...was ' freaked ' over talk of a private fat admirer forum, since, without a similar forum for fat women, it was a completely unfair and damaging proposition. I know that I was gunning for a protected, not private, forum for fat women. Now, how many fat women freaked when there was talk of a potential private sub-forum for fat admirers. I am pretty sure I did not freak.

As for the diluting discussions...the same can be said for those fa's who are feeling comfy on their forum. Might also want to tap into the billions of lurkers. Why do fat women have to hold up the world of discussion. At least we now know how important we are out here. I see supersized women all over these damned boards...can't walk a foot without seeing them....pests.

Also, LoveBHMS...the proposal is for a bbw sub-forum...not a women only sub-forum.
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Old 07-16-2009, 01:19 PM   #72
Tina
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This thread is closed. We have enough feedback at this point, and this thread gone way off topic. To those who want to argue the existence of this board and possibly a private one, do it elsewhere. That is not the purpose of this thread or board.
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"I'm really tired of a fat woman's sexuality being just another fat joke." -- Felicia/Supero

"It's my belief that these sheep are laborin' under the misapprehension that they're birds. Observe their be'avior. Take for a start the sheeps' tendency to 'op about the field on their back legs. Now witness their attmpts to fly from tree to tree. Notice that they do not so much fly as... plummet." -- Monty Python's Flying Circus
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