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Old 08-05-2009, 10:16 AM   #1
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Default Do you ever find weight gain unattractive?

Obviously not all FA are feeders/encouragers. But the stereotype is that all FA would always prefer their partner to be fatter.

Fellow FA (of either gender, of course): have you ever had a partner gain weight and really not been crazy about it? Or kind of wished that a partner would lose some weight?
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Old 08-05-2009, 10:52 AM   #2
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Nope, never.
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Old 08-05-2009, 11:16 AM   #3
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yes. some people in retrospect, looked better smaller, or they don't gain in the right places. it's not the weightgain itself that's unattractive, but who it's framing. sucks to be true but it is.
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Old 08-05-2009, 11:23 AM   #4
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I have - I had a girlfriend who was just the chunky side of average, maybe a 14-16, and she got really depressed and gained weight very quickly. She was so unhappy, and she was feeling so many unpleasant physical effects that it was just an incredibly negative experience, and I just wanted her to be feeling better again even though I found her softer, larger body to be attractive.

Then again, I am probably biased on this, because I went through basically the same thing myself. The depression-based weight gain was so hard on my body that I just hurt all the time. After I got treated for the depression and actually started exercising and eating well again, I lost some weight quickly but put it back on fairly soon - and the second weight gain was great, I reached the shape I wanted without the physical (and mental) discomfort. I guess that's probably what I was hoping would happen with my girlfriend too, but we broke up before she ever got treatment for the depression Sigh... I haven't seen her in years, I hope she's doing better now.
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Old 08-05-2009, 12:59 PM   #5
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Originally Posted by exile in thighville View Post
yes. some people in retrospect, looked better smaller, or they don't gain in the right places. it's not the weightgain itself that's unattractive, but who it's framing. sucks to be true but it is.
Exactly. While I've never had this happen to me, I can see how it could be considered unattractive.

When you want someone to gain weight, part of the fantasy (atleast for me) is the picture in your mind of how the added weight is going to look on them. Some people may even have an "ideal" of how they want the weight gain to appear on their partner's body and if it doesn't occur this way, it may be unattractive. Although, I am also wondering if unattractive is too strong a word in this case. There's a difference between the weight gain being unattractive and being a "disappointment" (for lack of better term), IMO.

Also, I wonder how realisitic the FA is being here. So let's say that you want your partner to gain weight, but you don't want their face to change and get fatter; yet, that's where their weight gain goes. Were you being unrealisitic in not wanting their face to change? Probably. Do you find it unattractive? Maybe. Are you disappointed? Probably.

I think the word I would use might be disappointed instead of unattractive, because unattractive makes it sound like a turn off.
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Old 08-05-2009, 01:05 PM   #6
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It varies and can go either way, but it's general rule in that I'm not into the idea of changes period. I mean, it's my partner's prerogative, but I wouldn't push a loss or gain on the basis of attractiveness.
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Old 08-05-2009, 01:21 PM   #7
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Not really, no, at least I haven't yet anyway. That said, I've not been in a relationship, so I dunno how it would affect it in different ways. At face value though, not a problem.
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Old 08-05-2009, 08:28 PM   #8
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I find certain types of WG unappealing. The way many Latina women seem to gain weight right to their midsections and upper torsos, so they get this miniature linebacker look. Not my thing.

Also, in general, when WG moves into the realm of near-immobility/superobesity, I tend to lose interest. All the accouterments--motorized wheelchairs, specially made furniture and clothes, etc.--make it seem less like a sexy lifestyle choice and more like a medical condition. Note that I am not passing judgment on people who are into this.
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Old 08-05-2009, 08:40 PM   #9
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I feel along the same lines as Jon Blaze and MisterGuy. It's unattractive when either your partner doesn't want to gain, or it may limit your partner in someway that displeases them.

Generally, I've also found that weight gain into the 600+ range is not for me, heh.
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Old 08-05-2009, 08:46 PM   #10
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My ex unintentionally gained a fair amount of weight while we were together, maybe 75 lbs or so from the time we met to when he was at his highest weight several months before we broke up. However, it made him really unhappy, primarily because he had family members with adult onset diabetes and was afraid of the same thing happening to him if he didn't manage his weight. Of course, I liked his pudge and that there was more of it, but his feelings about the matter completely undermined the attraction that I would have otherwise felt towards him gaining.
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Old 08-06-2009, 12:39 AM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ESPN Cutie View Post
Also, I wonder how realisitic the FA is being here. So let's say that you want your partner to gain weight, but you don't want their face to change and get fatter; yet, that's where their weight gain goes. Were you being unrealisitic in not wanting their face to change? Probably. Do you find it unattractive? Maybe. Are you disappointed? Probably.

I think the word I would use might be disappointed instead of unattractive, because unattractive makes it sound like a turn off.[/B]
this is a whole different issue though, when so-called "fas" - really inflation fetishists - expect a partner to bloom into a spherical fluffy cloud when the human body really stretches, drags, sags, hangs, marks, pimples, dimples, doubles. not understanding what comes with the territory is certainly the problem of the fa in question, no tragedy on behalf of the gainer. disappoint yourself early and get out of the game if you don't grasp what you can and can't do. or find a wealthy feedee into body modification.
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Old 08-06-2009, 02:18 AM   #12
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Never happened poorly to a partner, but I've seen it happen in other women. I was once 20 lbs heavier and I didn't wear it too well. At least IMO.

Also, I think I am highly attuned to how a woman's weight will be distributed if she gains. I'm sure there's some other FAs who are with me on this.
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Old 08-06-2009, 11:23 AM   #13
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Can't say I've ever been unattracted to a partner's gain, but then again I've only been with 3-4 guys who gained while we were together. Also, it was never more than 80 lbs or so.

I can say for sure that I would be turned off if an active fat guy gained to the point of immobility. Turned off, but mostly scared...
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Old 08-06-2009, 01:32 PM   #14
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I am uniformly positive about a Partners Weight Gain. I Like It. However I understand that my partner many times does not because of the difficuly entailed.
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Old 08-06-2009, 01:37 PM   #15
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Personally, weight gain (in women) is almost universally attractive to me until you start venturing into immobility territory, which, imo, is much more appealing in fantasy.
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Old 08-06-2009, 03:53 PM   #16
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It depends on the person and the amount of weight.
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Old 08-07-2009, 02:50 AM   #17
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I don't enjoy soft fat men - I prefer big hard stomachs, strong arms and shoulders. The jelly kind of fat on men just does not do it for me. On women - the moment you can't move, look miserable and uncomfortable, then the attraction for me takes a severe nose dive.
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Old 08-08-2009, 04:39 AM   #18
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Also, I wonder how realisitic the FA is being here. So let's say that you want your partner to gain weight, but you don't want their face to change and get fatter; yet, that's where their weight gain goes. Were you being unrealisitic in not wanting their face to change? Probably. Do you find it unattractive? Maybe. Are you disappointed? Probably.
I guess I am guilty of being unrealistic too. I had a girlfriend who gained lots of weight. unfortunately, she put all her weight into her thighs and was complaining of chafing all the time. She had a rash between her legs from all the rubbing. sometimes she couldn't walk. I found this rather unattractive. (That is not why i left her, she was also a mental case) Also double and tripple chins are not the most attractive for me. So yes I plead guilty
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Old 08-08-2009, 05:59 AM   #19
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Weight gain is one of the principal element that took me on BBW-FA world...so I like and is one on my favourite fantasy, but as said thatgirl...until a limit
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Old 08-08-2009, 08:45 AM   #20
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Then again, I am probably biased on this, because I went through basically the same thing myself. The depression-based weight gain was so hard on my body that I just hurt all the time.
I'm the opposite-- I lose weight when I'm depressed (and so does my boyfriend) and tend to plump up if I'm happy, so thinness for me is always associated with something being wrong in my life.
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Old 08-08-2009, 03:33 PM   #21
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I gained a lot going thru a bad marriage and messy divorce.The stress and anxiety of dealing with a guy you could never depend on,cheating,lying,drinking that kind of stuff caused me to eat all the time for comfort.
The weight seemed to cause an inner loathing and hatred for how fat my body was.I felt I looked so terrible and thought who would ever be interested in me.
That feeling drove me to diet and excersize and losing all the weight.
This time the weight has gone different places and I love how it feels.
Maybe eating when your life is good your body reacts differently.
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Old 08-09-2009, 03:47 AM   #22
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Call me an asshole, but I think it's the rare dude that looks better chunkier than thinner/more muscular.

Exceptions to this rule include Seth Rogan, for whom I have an odd man-crush, and Kevin Smith, who I adore regardless of what he looks like.
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Old 08-09-2009, 10:56 AM   #23
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Call me an asshole, but I think it's the rare dude that looks better chunkier than thinner/more muscular.
You're an asshole
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Old 08-10-2009, 12:16 PM   #24
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Call me an asshole, but I think it's the rare dude that looks better chunkier than thinner/more muscular.

Exceptions to this rule include Seth Rogan, for whom I have an odd man-crush, and Kevin Smith, who I adore regardless of what he looks like.
I disagree SO MUCH. But I'm biased on that one
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Old 08-20-2009, 06:55 PM   #25
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I disagree SO MUCH. But I'm biased on that one
Coincidentally we have the same bias

Im not much into the whole gainer thing, if a guy Im with gains unintentionally, cool.

But Im more into the 200 - 400 lb range of BHMs and dont go much over. Anything else I feel is too much for my tastes, and if weight gain interferes with health and causes my partner to be misrable it stops being pleasurable. (with the exception of some cuties on the BHM board )
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