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Old 08-11-2009, 05:04 AM   #1
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Default A naive Fa?.

Its weird. I have had very little negative expereince being an fa in real life and then i come to a place like dimensions which is Fa friendly. I join a facebook site, called "chubby girls are hot" or something like that (I saw a couple of my friends were members) and i was SO shocked at the Fa bashing from the women there! Jebus! I'm wondering if this is just the rantings of a few people who have the wrong end of the stick or if generally this is what most people think of Fa's. You see i have no idea of knowing because there is very little mention of Fa's anywhere; In films, Books, Music, plus all my friends are very open minded so i can't trust that its just them that are cool about Fa's.
I don't feel good about this.
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Old 08-11-2009, 05:45 AM   #2
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Its weird. I have had very little negative expereince being an fa in real life and then i come to a place like dimensions which is Fa friendly. I join a facebook site, called "chubby girls are hot" or something like that (I saw a couple of my friends were members) and i was SO shocked at the Fa bashing from the women there! Jebus! I'm wondering if this is just the rantings of a few people who have the wrong end of the stick or if generally this is what most people think of Fa's. You see i have no idea of knowing because there is very little mention of Fa's anywhere; In films, Books, Music, plus all my friends are very open minded so i can't trust that its just them that are cool about Fa's.
I don't feel good about this.
What were they saying Mer? I can't quite figure out why people bash FA's. Sure, there are some odd ones, some offensive ones, some cowardly ones, but those are just the few rotten apples and skinny chicks deal with similar situations so I have no idea why fat girls bash fat admirers as a group. I have a friend who said she objects to their comments about her body. My response was that that isn't FA specific - that's just annoying-guy specific behaviour. Guys who like thin girls send them creepy messages, ogle their body parts, make unfortunate comments about their genitalia etc FA's - the shady ones - just happen to do the same thing to fat girls. I really don't see the reason for all the drama.
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Old 08-11-2009, 07:28 AM   #3
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What were they saying Mer? .
To be honest, i think half the stuff written would make both Fa's and fat people feel shitty so it doesn't really bear repeating. The usual i guess. You can always join the group and then unjoin (something i am trying to work out how to do). This is ment to be a group celebrating big women (on a shallow level i know, plus its ment to be a fun group) but there is a discussion "Is it right to fetishise a medical problem?" I basically couldn't not answer that. For one thing i said the question doesn't actually make sense. gah! och..i think its just really anoying. These women wern't saying "i don't like when Fas do.. such snd such".. they were saying "Fa's are fucked up". I always find it really sad when people think those who find them attractive are fucked up. Says more about them really i suppose. Still pretty sad though.
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Old 08-11-2009, 07:33 AM   #4
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I've found that a lot of bad comments in groups like those are written by women who are trying to lose weight, or skinny chicks who hate that fat chicks get men. It's a weird self-hatred thing. How dare men like fatties when skinny chicks can't get a man! How dare fat chicks get appreciation and not ridicule for being so 'slovenly' and 'unhygienic' and 'lazy'~! Shame on those boys for reinforcing their bad behavior... or my favorite... when girls dis FAs because they don't believe they really like us big gals, and are "making fun of us" by making the group. Because NOBODY finds fat attractive.
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Old 08-11-2009, 07:35 AM   #5
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Almost ALL the fat chicks I know in person think FAs are sick.

They do have an unhealthy amount of body hate though, and are always on one diet or another.
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Old 08-11-2009, 07:41 AM   #6
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Wow. Its just so sad on so many levels.
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Old 08-11-2009, 08:04 AM   #7
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I looked at that site, too. I was appalled and disgusted by the comments there. There was nothing positive that I could see about that group. I left feeling really abused. Yuck!!!
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Old 08-11-2009, 08:07 AM   #8
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I guess it won't be easy for BBWs who do like FAs or the idea of one to speak up in such a group, especially if they haven't found a healthy BBW/FA community!
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Old 08-11-2009, 10:37 AM   #9
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I guess it won't be easy for BBWs who do like FAs or the idea of one to speak up in such a group, especially if they haven't found a healthy BBW/FA community!
You can't really advertise dimensions there either cause then you would be inviting the arseholes too. Gah! Hmm.. just need to work on un joining.
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Old 08-11-2009, 10:40 AM   #10
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I looked at that site, too. I was appalled and disgusted by the comments there. There was nothing positive that I could see about that group. I left feeling really abused. Yuck!!!
Yeah, i don't think it was positive for fat people or fas! Like a sheep i joined cause i saw a couple of my friends had. Its a shame people have to find new things and people to hate. I think the intentions of the person starting the group may have been to have an admiration site of sorts but its way off track now, i'm wondering why they don't delete all the hate propaganda.
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Old 08-11-2009, 03:39 PM   #11
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Originally Posted by mergirl View Post
Its weird. I have had very little negative expereince being an fa in real life and then i come to a place like dimensions which is Fa friendly. I join a facebook site, called "chubby girls are hot" or something like that (I saw a couple of my friends were members) and i was SO shocked at the Fa bashing from the women there! Jebus! I'm wondering if this is just the rantings of a few people who have the wrong end of the stick or if generally this is what most people think of Fa's. You see i have no idea of knowing because there is very little mention of Fa's anywhere; In films, Books, Music, plus all my friends are very open minded so i can't trust that its just them that are cool about Fa's.
I don't feel good about this.
Could you give a couple of examples of the bashing you mention? There doesn't need to be names mentioned but I'll bet many of us have heard something very similar to what was being said, or had it directed at them.
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Old 08-11-2009, 03:42 PM   #12
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To be honest, i think half the stuff written would make both Fa's and fat people feel shitty so it doesn't really bear repeating. The usual i guess. You can always join the group and then unjoin (something i am trying to work out how to do). This is ment to be a group celebrating big women (on a shallow level i know, plus its ment to be a fun group) but there is a discussion "Is it right to fetishise a medical problem?" I basically couldn't not answer that. For one thing i said the question doesn't actually make sense. gah! och..i think its just really anoying. These women wern't saying "i don't like when Fas do.. such snd such".. they were saying "Fa's are fucked up". I always find it really sad when people think those who find them attractive are fucked up. Says more about them really i suppose. Still pretty sad though.
I've not only heard this but had it directed at me in conversation relating to size acceptance when I mentioned my preference.
I let it roll off my back like water off of a duck.
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Old 08-11-2009, 08:21 PM   #13
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Yeah, we hardwired FA's are really screwed up. Just like our SOs.

We'd rather be at home playing with our wives rolls than hanging out in a bar.

We tend to be married and wouldn't turn in our license for a million dollars.

Even after decades people can tell we're committed, love one another and wonder why. All they know is that we seem to talk with one another a lot - and eat.

When we go into restaurants we share jokes with the waitresses, eat plenty of food and leave good tips - which is why we're welcomed back.

We're the ones people come to when they need help with projects - especially if food is involved.

If you ask us about a queston with meaning (i.e., not related to sports or celebrity intrigues) we likely know something about it.

We like animals, grandkids, our neighbors and people in general - we even go to church and believe America with all its faults is still the best nation on earth.

We work hard, have no debts, and while not rich seem to always have enough to stuff our pie holes for another few meals and five to others as well.

We have lives beyond television and actually spend more time resdingthan watching the boob tube. We are in fact Internet savvy.

We're all of the above and we stress people out who aren't like us - they think we're throwbacks to the fifties. Yeah, and besides these areas that we're not like them we're fat as well. Sooo - we need to be put in our place. And they try. But the barbs don't faze us, which frustrates them all the more.

Yep, we're total weirdos. My wife's at a meeting but after writing all that I'm looking forward to giving her a kiss when she gets home.

Gross? I don't think so. In fact I think I'll take a shower and douse myself in BRUT. She likes that.
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Old 08-11-2009, 09:03 PM   #14
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Yeah, we hardwired FA's are really screwed up. Just like our SOs.

We'd rather be at home playing with our wives rolls than hanging out in a bar.

We tend to be married and wouldn't turn in our license for a million dollars.

Even after decades people can tell we're committed, love one another and wonder why. All they know is that we seem to talk with one another a lot - and eat.

When we go into restaurants we share jokes with the waitresses, eat plenty of food and leave good tips - which is why we're welcomed back.

We're the ones people come to when they need help with projects - especially if food is involved.

If you ask us about a queston with meaning (i.e., not related to sports or celebrity intrigues) we likely know something about it.

We like animals, grandkids, our neighbors and people in general - we even go to church and believe America with all its faults is still the best nation on earth.

We work hard, have no debts, and while not rich seem to always have enough to stuff our pie holes for another few meals and five to others as well.

We have lives beyond television and actually spend more time resdingthan watching the boob tube. We are in fact Internet savvy.

We're all of the above and we stress people out who aren't like us - they think we're throwbacks to the fifties. Yeah, and besides these areas that we're not like them we're fat as well. Sooo - we need to be put in our place. And they try. But the barbs don't faze us, which frustrates them all the more.

Yep, we're total weirdos. My wife's at a meeting but after writing all that I'm looking forward to giving her a kiss when she gets home.

Gross? I don't think so. In fact I think I'll take a shower and douse myself in BRUT. She likes that.
If only.
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Old 08-11-2009, 09:07 PM   #15
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i love FA's. I'd fuck you all....ALL.

Why want something/approval that doesn't want you, FA's? Here's a fatty that wants ya
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Old 08-12-2009, 04:11 AM   #16
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Could you give a couple of examples of the bashing you mention? There doesn't need to be names mentioned but I'll bet many of us have heard something very similar to what was being said, or had it directed at them.
Rollhandler
Well the "Is it right to fetishize a medical problem?" question was answered by a lot of crap. As i say join the facebook group and you will see what i mean.
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Old 08-12-2009, 04:12 AM   #17
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i love FA's. I'd fuck you all....ALL.

Why want something/approval that doesn't want you, FA's? Here's a fatty that wants ya
Yay! I wish all Bbw's were like you.
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Old 08-12-2009, 11:48 PM   #18
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fa's are some of the greatest men and women I know.
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Old 08-13-2009, 12:02 AM   #19
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fa's are some of the greatest men and women I know.
i love you too.
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Old 08-13-2009, 01:31 AM   #20
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I work with about 20 people... and I'm pretty sure they all know I'm an FA... or at least 90% of them know.

I get teased a lot, but in a very friendly way. I also get the occasional, "oh you probably would've loved this girl i saw the other day..."

There's one guy, however, whose teasing I don't quite like. He's not mean... but there's a slight edge of, "haha... dude you're great... it's hilarious that you like fat chicks." And that bothers me... cuz it's not hilarious, and i'm not some dude with odd quirks. I'm a normal person with excellent taste in women.

So, the thing about this one guy is that he used to be fat and he works out like 4 times a week and he likes really athletic women. I'm not saying he's got issues, but somehow he's developed a very strong core belief about what's attractive, and it'd be pretty hard to get him to attempt to see another viewpoint because he's just not the most open-minded guy in the world either. I still like him a bunch, though.. but I just have to be able to take a step back when I think about the way he thinks about my tastes. It's not personal.

So, yes, it's sad, but don't let 'em get to you!!! Ultimately you don't need their approval.

ps I had my naivete ruined the other day in a similar situation, but it wasn't about the bbw/fa thing. i got furious, and then cried. the world can be mean sometimes.
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Old 08-13-2009, 03:05 AM   #21
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So, yes, it's sad, but don't let 'em get to you!!! Ultimately you don't need their approval.

ps I had my naivete ruined the other day in a similar situation, but it wasn't about the bbw/fa thing. i got furious, and then cried. the world can be mean sometimes.
Sorry, the world made you mad at it! I usually find its the people in the world that are the things that cause the madness.
Yeah, you know, i didn't feel like i needed thier approval nor that they even 'got' to me. Out of my group of friends i think i'm one of the most sexually open and am usually the one encouraging eveyone else to open up about thier sexualities/fantasies etc. Call me Dr Ruth!. lol. It wasn't that. I am very confident in both my gender and Fa sexual identities. As far as i'm concerned if anyone has a problem with my sexuality, then its 'their' problem. I think it was the sheer volume of Fa hate on one page. Just seeing it there. I was thinking i would feel the same if it was anti-gay but somehow i am ready for that. Plus gay people are 'out' in the world, we have queer musicians, talk show hosts, comedians, actors, MP's....etc etc... We only have 'suspected' Fa's where people can see them. It sort of feels like we don't have a support network. Well we have here i guess.
Hmm.. Why don't you all join me on this particular post and spread some of your Fa wisdom?.
Maby it wont work, but maby it will make people think even for a second that maby, just maby they are wrong about us.
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Old 08-13-2009, 05:56 AM   #22
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To be honest, i think half the stuff written would make both Fa's and fat people feel shitty so it doesn't really bear repeating. The usual i guess. You can always join the group and then unjoin (something i am trying to work out how to do). This is ment to be a group celebrating big women (on a shallow level i know, plus its ment to be a fun group) but there is a discussion "Is it right to fetishise a medical problem?" I basically couldn't not answer that. For one thing i said the question doesn't actually make sense. gah! och..i think its just really anoying. These women wern't saying "i don't like when Fas do.. such snd such".. they were saying "Fa's are fucked up". I always find it really sad when people think those who find them attractive are fucked up. Says more about them really i suppose. Still pretty sad though.
*smishes you*
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Old 08-13-2009, 08:01 AM   #23
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Originally Posted by Tau View Post
*smishes you*
Aww..thank you for my smish!!
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Old 08-13-2009, 03:02 PM   #24
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I don't know, I think my wife could give you some pretty good answers about celebrity intrigue as well. :P

I do occasionally take a break from subversive reading to watch TMZ and The Soup with her.... <high voice> IT'S MILEY!!! <raspy voice> IT'S LINDSAY!!!
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Old 08-13-2009, 07:15 PM   #25
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Originally Posted by bdog View Post
And that bothers me... cuz it's not hilarious, and i'm not some dude with odd quirks. I'm a normal person with excellent taste in women.
I love this, haha.
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