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Old 08-11-2009, 08:21 AM   #1
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Default Your first FA

How did you meet your first FA? What was s/he like, and how did you feel about their preference?

Has the BBW/FA community changed your opinion about FAs?
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Old 08-11-2009, 08:56 AM   #2
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I met him online, he was a bit of a loser/not my type but being very young I was very interested in meeting an actual person who was an FA. I think it was about 8/9 years ago and at the time my feelings were that FA were mythical creatures and there were probably not many at all in this country/world.

As the years have gone on, I've learned from the BBW/FA community that most FA are just normal people, who have a preference. There are a sub-section of fetishists, but mostly our own community mirrors society with there being many different types of people, who fancy larger people as apposed to 'normal' sized people.
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Old 08-11-2009, 09:13 AM   #3
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my first FA was many years ago when i was 24. I met him online of of AOL. We talked for awhile, then met up. He was gorgeous !!Dark hair, blue eyes,tall and a great CP job and sweet as hell. I didnt know what an FA was at the time. I had just learned that there was men that liked BBW. After a few dates, we hooked up, he was amazing. I never had a guy actually like to touch me all over like that. Telling me how beautiful my belly was and always making me feel beautiful. That was the only TRUE FA I have ever been with. We were together for 2 years,.. just dating and I never found anyone like him again.
We still talk and still are very close, even though we are both married and have kids and live across the country. I will never forget him and how he made me realize how wonderful FA s are!!
I think this community had made a huge difference for me. I really love it
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Old 08-11-2009, 11:33 AM   #4
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Originally Posted by Cors View Post
How did you meet your first FA? What was s/he like, and how did you feel about their preference?

Has the BBW/FA community changed your opinion about FAs?
I met my first FA here on Dims, I was fine with his preference because I was already fairly immersed in the community here and wasn't surprised at all by it. He's a really nice guy, made me laugh, etc. I just didn't feel the romantic chemistry after we hung out a few times in real life. We're still friends and talk sometimes.

Without knowing about the community, I wouldn't have met any of the FA's I currently know so yes, I suppose. It hasn't really changed my opinion as much as just informed me that such a thing exists.
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Old 08-11-2009, 04:26 PM   #5
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I was 19 years old, so 1989? A lady I knew was very much involved in size acceptance and I thought what a neat concept! I was interested in learning more and as I got involved, I totally had my eyes opened as to the fact that there were guys with a specific preference for large women.

Unfortunately most of the ones I met did not show themselves in a positive light at all, and it totally freaked me right the fuck out and is a big reason why I chose to only date men who did not have a specific body shape/size preference (well, it does make sense since I don't have a specific preference myself, but I think my experiences with those men just reinforced my feelings on the matter). I did meet some great guys though, just a lot more not so great ones.

Maybe had I been out of my teens, older and wiser; and not exposed to quite so much ugliness in such a short time, I wouldn't have wound up so cynical about it.

I can't remember which one was the first though, that being 20 years ago and all.

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Old 08-11-2009, 08:49 PM   #6
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I actually met my first FAs from a Dims meet-up last year. I see some of them at least every other month when we make plans to do so. I was already into the concept of size-acceptance, so I didn't think they were weird for being attracted to fat women. I must confess that I almost didn't show up to the meet-up because I got cold feet last minute. Only men responded and I was nervous about meeting a bunch of guys, so I forced two of my fat friends to come with me.

Dims shaped my opinion about the BBW/FA community. There was nothing to change. I didn't really think about fatties or "chubby-chasers" beforehand. Because I met FAs within months of signing up to Dims, my knowledge of this community is based off reading the forums and talking to members IRL. I find it amusing to actually discuss the thread topics during our meet-ups.


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How did you meet your first FA? What was s/he like, and how did you feel about their preference?

Has the BBW/FA community changed your opinion about FAs?
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Old 08-13-2009, 08:58 AM   #7
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I've been surrounded by FAs my whole life - they just weren't called that. Most older, black South African men prefer their women juicy. Most older men from my country still complain about for instance young women with no hips - or women where you can see a space between her legs - or collar bones LOL! Meeting a young Fa though, somebody who spoke my language and shared a generation with me was difficult for me to imagine - most young guys cannot stand fat and fat girls are openly and regurlarly mocked and derided. I met my first young, handsome FA online. He was just deliciousness personified. I can't even begin to express how I felt when he looked at me and touched me like he was seeing Heaven laid out before him It was just sexual though *sigh* and I'm NOT into casual sex so it didn't work out.
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Old 08-13-2009, 08:14 PM   #8
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I was 21 and I met him on AOL. I didn't really believe it. He was very bright and outgoing and funny. The majority of the people I knew from the SSBBW Chat at that time were older married men or 30 something women.

He came to spend a weekend with me and it was eye opening. It was the first man who would grab me in a way that said "I am so into this" as opposed to "I'm not sure where to grab".

I still talk to him once in a while but at that age a LDR wasn't a real option.

As for how I feel about the community. It's actually made me jaded towards FAs. I've come across so many that have poor social skills and a lack of respect for the person as opposed to the fat that I shy away. OTOH I've meet so many really great women who have renewed my faith in sisterhood.
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Old 08-13-2009, 08:29 PM   #9
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My first FA is my current bf. I've known him for so long and never knew it. When we starting dating over a year ago, I couldn't figure out why he liked me. Well, he was/is my best friend, but not the point. A few months ago(I'm about to get really personal, move on if you dont want to read it!) we were making love and he kept grabbing at my stomach. I thought he was making fun of me and I got angry. He finally explained he thought that I was so beautiful sense I was larger.
I was always insult my whole life for being bigger, and when he said that, I broke down. I remember crying so much and kissing him over and over. He was a tad confused. "Didnt you believe it when I said you were the most beautiful woman I've ever met? I didnt mean just your face." Those words are imprinted in my mind. Ever since we've had a perfect relationship. I'm not afraid to me sexy anymore and have become so much more comfortable. That's why I joined this forum. I wanted to find more people like me, who actually like themselves despite or because of their size. In fact, he encouraged me to get into plus-sized modeling(I'm too small, sadly)
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Old 08-13-2009, 09:34 PM   #10
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I am 50 something and I still haven't met one..I have met men that like different parts of my body but have never said they liked the fat...*sighs* (walks off singing,Some day my Prince will come)
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Old 08-13-2009, 10:36 PM   #11
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The first FA I met was actually a longtime friend of mine. He liked me for who I am though, and not simply because I was fat. But he told me that he generally likes bigger girls. I thought it was pretty amazing that somebody actually did feel that way. I didn't end up going out with him despite him feeling that way about me, but we're still great friends and I'm glad that we can now talk about our preferences. We actually seem to have an FA friendship now, its quite funny because I can point out a guy in the street and say 'nice gut' or something to that effect. I didn't find it freaky for a second.
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Old 08-14-2009, 07:02 PM   #12
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I met the first FA I ever knew in my sophomore year in college, in Ear Training 1 I think, and he was closeted, tho at the time I didn't think the word closeted would have applied to FAs. I would have used the word "hypocrite". We never dated or became lovers, as he said he had a girlfriend who I never met, and who he never talked about, and he seemed generally indifferent about her, so I really did wonder if he made her up just to have an excuse not to be together....when we hung out alone together he was really sweet to me and we clicked really well and there was a lot of flirting going on, but when his friends were around tho, he acted like he wasn't interested, never sat next to me, acted like I was an acquaintance despite long hours spent talking and hanging out and flirting....I got over him eventually, but when I think about how things could have gone if he hadn't felt the need to hide..it probably could have been a fun worthwhile relationship. Oh well, c'est la vie.
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Old 08-14-2009, 07:17 PM   #13
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Not really sure. First self-identified one, though, was a personal ad guy in my 20s. I think. The word "Rubenesque" was bandied about. The whole thing made me nervous, being new to dating as a fatty--more nervous than I realized at the time--but I know on some level I was also enjoying it/letting it in.

I don't generalize too much about FAs (well, I do, but only when it serves my own arguments ). I really have found that they come in all varieties, not just physically: nice, mean, slutty, prudish, content, restless, clueless, sensitive, whatever, above and beyond all the socialized issues attached to liking fat in a thin world. The best folks I've met, though, do have an extra oomph that comes with defending/making peace with that latter idea. Kind and horny. Good combo.
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Old 08-17-2009, 05:59 AM   #14
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My first FA is a mythical man known only as Dream Man.

I hate dating and would rather stay home and do something than go to a club or restaurant to get to know some guy.

I love reading through these stories everyone is posting, however.
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Old 08-17-2009, 07:21 AM   #15
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My first Fa was evidently one that I dreamed into existence, he no longer exists. At least not in my world....disappointing to say the least.
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Old 08-22-2009, 02:28 AM   #16
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I met my first open FA when I was 29. He was just amazing and let it known that he loved every curve. Nothing made him more happy than showing me off and letting into every part of his life. Sad to say at that point in my life it creeped me out that someone could be SO into a larger women. Thankfully I got over that. He converted me and I will not date a man who is not a FA.

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Old 08-22-2009, 03:09 AM   #17
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I met my first open FA when I was 29. He was just amazing and let it known that he loved every curve. Nothing made him more happy than showing me off and letting into every part of his life. Sad to say at that point in my life it creeped me out that someone could be SO into a larger women. Thankfully I got over that. He converted me and I will not date a man who is not a FA.
Thanks Jewels..for ONLY dating US! We luvz yau'll too!
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Old 08-22-2009, 08:14 AM   #18
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I've always been chubby or fat, so I assume that most of the men that I've dated have been FAs to some extent. I think the fact that my younger self hated my body quite a bit made it impossible for them to express their true FA-ness in any kind of real way.

The first time I really realized that my curves could be part of my appeal, though, was when I dated a chef. He was actually studying to become a Master Sommelier, so our entire dating life revolved around amazing food and drink. Not shockingly, I gained lot of weight, but somehow it stopped bothering me because it was an offshoot of his profession and it was usually him encouraging it.

He was quite a bit more vanilla than me in bed, but I found eventually that the larger I got, the more wild he became. That was quite an unexpected turn of events and finally made me realize that maybe my body could be a turn on, and maybe all my ex's HADN'T been lying to me when they said how sexy they thought I was.

Since then I have dated one open FA, and it was simply amazing. Sad that it took me so long to wise up, but I'm so happy to have finally found the light.
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Old 08-22-2009, 08:40 AM   #19
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I met my first open FA when I was 29. He was just amazing and let it known that he loved every curve. Nothing made him more happy than showing me off and letting into every part of his life. Sad to say at that point in my life it creeped me out that someone could be SO into a larger women. Thankfully I got over that. He converted me and I will not date a man who is not a FA.
I agree 100%!! To me, now matter how good he looks, if he isnt an FA he might as well be invisible!! I am so glad you accepted and now love the idea of FA's!!
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Old 08-22-2009, 03:15 PM   #20
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Thanks Jewels..for ONLY dating US! We luvz yau'll too!
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Old 08-22-2009, 04:01 PM   #21
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My first FA was an ex boyfriend I had a few years ago. He kept telling me I had "the body of a Goddess." We met at my place of employment, which happened to be a pornstore (I was young and rebellious. He broke one of my own rules: Don't date the customers.)

Little did I know, he had a fiance and a new baby.

Now to find another FA ^.^
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Old 08-22-2009, 06:02 PM   #22
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My first FA was my bi-sizual ex-husband. He really made me feel comfortable about my body....more than any other man had before. He liked big women...he had dated smaller.
I had seem him with his big girlfriends....and liked that he never gave a damn what other people thought...about his dates or anything else. He never let his friends talk down about them...or me.
He told me that if he had to choose, he would pick bigger. They just seem more attractive to him most of the time.


I knew before him, though, that there were guys that liked bigger ladies. I knew because I wasn't the wallflower society says I should have been.......
I was just never comfortable enough to talk about it with them before my ex.

I had a crush on a guy back in high school. His best friend told me that he didn't find me attractive due to my size. I was a little upset but best friend was quick to tell me that he liked bigger girls....and thought I was just right. Unfortunately, he didn't rock my world.....and he kind of scared me later on at a party when he kept hitting on me and tried to get me alone when I had too much to drink. Avoided him like the plague after that.

Just saying......it was obvious to me before Dims....though I do like that other ladies get to see it if they hadn't realized it out in reality before Dims.
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Old 08-31-2009, 01:23 PM   #23
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When I met my first self professed FA I had just gotten out of an abusive relationship. I was twenty four and decided to actually get on a specific site that was specific to larger women. I was always one to mention, hey, I am a big girl, over and over again, as there being nothing worse than having someone show up and act like I had mislead them.

When I showed up for dinner, he told me i was thin compared to other girls he usually dated, but equally beautiful. I didn't believe him, but was flattered. He made me feel amazing about myself, taught me what to expect from real relationships, not just ones were I was an emberassment, or a work in process until I lost weight.

We aren't together because of my own complications and his work load. However, we have remained friends and he is a steady voice of encouragement. It is because of him that I know of places like dimensions and men that not only tolerate a fat woman but celebrate her. And I love him dearly.

The communities and forums I am apart of have made me slightly prejudiced against non FA's. If a man doesn't like every bit of me, fat and all, I don't want them. I am tired of being the exception, I don't date fat chicks but....

and on a slightly off topic tangent.. these communities also make me see FA's EVERYWHERE.. as I just can't imagine anyone not finding a lady with curves unattractive!
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Old 01-01-2011, 12:23 AM   #24
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Default My first...

My first FA and I are still really close. We're "flirty friends" or "friends with benefits who may actually be in a relationship pretty soon" or "lovers" or something along those lines. We met on the "Are You Interested?" App for Facebook. Wow, it was something fantastic, let me tell you!

He had messaged me telling me he thought I was pretty. My profile picture at the time was me and my stunning-blonde-blue eyed best friend... I told him he probably was looking at the wrong girl, and that I was the brunette. He still told me he thought I was beautiful... as we talked more he expressed to me that he was interested in girls with figures. I just thought he meant hippy-booby girls (haha booby)

As the years (yes, I'm young, but this was when I was a sophomore) went on we grew close, we grew apart, and that cycled three or four times. We're close again... I want to go meet him so badly... I'm doing everything in my power to make something happen between us.
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Old 01-01-2011, 02:55 AM   #25
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When I was 18, I was working in retail and this customer asked me out. He'd been in a few times, and I remembered him. He was 42 and Irish, and one day told me I was a sight for sore eyes, and would I like to go out with him sometime. I was a BBW back then, so I'm guessing he was an FA, though the term never came up
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