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Old 08-23-2009, 10:07 AM   #1
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Talking Am I a BBW or ssBBW?

I know its a stupid question, but I have often wondered what puts a woman into one catagory or the other. I always thought is was more a person's perspective of another since a BBW could mean a size 12 for some crazy ass folks out there. It is wieght or body shape? I feel in the middle. I usually consider myself a BBW, but wieghing in at 335, I assume I could be an ssBBW, also. Maybe this is all just a matter of opinion, but is there any sort of standard? I hate calling myself a ssBBW when I barely have a big belly like other women I have seen around this site. Any input?
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Old 08-23-2009, 10:58 AM   #2
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In my opinion, you define who you are and what you are and how you see yourself. I have a large belly and I consider myself a BBW, just maybe differently shaped than others. Bigger, smaller we are all BBW.
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Old 08-23-2009, 11:05 AM   #3
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In my opinion, it is how you define yourself and perspective. It is easy to define when someone is on either end of the spectrum, but somewhere in the middle it can become confusing so I think perspective and self definition come into play.

My unsolicited advice is not to worry if you are a BBW or a SSBBW. After all, SSBBW are still BBW, we just have more of the BIG in Big Beautiful Woman. We're all still beautiful and we're all still women. (I know that sounds really corny and in a way it is. Sorry!) Labels are a necessity in this life, but those labels do not define us.

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Old 08-23-2009, 11:24 AM   #4
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Defining it for yourself is a good idea. Fact is everyone will have different definitions. There are some people who think 335lbs is too small and others who think it's too big. Whatever works for you is what should count since you're the one who has to live in your body.
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Old 08-23-2009, 11:47 AM   #5
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I'll chime in with the crowd: it's really an individual thing. There's no exact line on the scale that says "oh look, you went from 299 to 300... now you're supersized!" I'm around 280, but due to my height and proportions I don't really appear as big as I am... even if I were to hit the 300 mark, I know I'm not experiencing the same level of prejudice and discrimination that many SSBBWs have to deal with, and I feel like claiming that label at that point would be wrong for me; I would feel like I were sort of diminishing or cheapening their experiences. It sounds like you are comfortable with the BBW label, so stick with it
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Old 08-23-2009, 05:45 PM   #6
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Thanks ya'll, its kind of what I figured, but I really wanted to get some others' perspectives as well. Be Good! ^_^
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Old 08-24-2009, 08:41 AM   #7
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Hmm.. I know your question was a means of comparison but i would like to take the first part of it as "Am i a bbw?.." because i'm not really sure.
I havn't posted on the introductions page because i have never felt like a bbw..Though i have gained quite a bit of weight fairly recently so maby i'm not used to myself or something. See, i don't think i struggle in 'many' of the ways that bbws here have talked about, though i do have inner struggles about my own size acceptance in relation to things i have expereinced in the past.
I am over 200lbs and am 5.6. I know i am not thin and i'm not sure i am 'medium sized' anymore. In real life size definition doesn't present me with too many problems. At this size i can shop both in plus sized and non-plus sized shops. I think the problem is here mainly.. i'm not sure i need to define myself. Do i have a right to post here? If i'm honest it feels to me more of a 'womans' board anyway, which i love.
How do we account for definitions of size. Ie. Cors being fat when she visits singapore but people telling her she is too thin here.
If it truly is about what you define for yourself then it must be really difficult to have a cut off point for, say the ssbbw board. Would it not make more sense to have a private womans board. If 'fat' and 'size' really is in many ways social and psychological how can there be weight restrictions on what is a 'big woman' and what is a 'supersized big woman' because i'm sure different people would have different definitions.
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Old 08-24-2009, 09:20 AM   #8
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Anna Its all in how you view yourself.I'm 5'6" too and most people don't think I weigh as much as I do.I guess thats a good thing.
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Old 08-24-2009, 04:44 PM   #9
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I think you would be defined as a BBW, but I think it's basically whatever you wanna "label" yourself, if you prefer no label then that's fine. No one said you have to label yourself by any means! However, I am extremely proud to call myself a SSBBW. I think it adds so much more to me Besides you'll shine no matter what you go by! I think you should just love the body you've been blessed with and if you don't wanna call yourself a SSBBW, then don'ts
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Old 08-24-2009, 08:03 PM   #10
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Hmm.. I know your question was a means of comparison but i would like to take the first part of it as "Am i a bbw?.." because i'm not really sure.
I havn't posted on the introductions page because i have never felt like a bbw..Though i have gained quite a bit of weight fairly recently so maby i'm not used to myself or something. See, i don't think i struggle in 'many' of the ways that bbws here have talked about, though i do have inner struggles about my own size acceptance in relation to things i have expereinced in the past.
I am over 200lbs and am 5.6. I know i am not thin and i'm not sure i am 'medium sized' anymore. In real life size definition doesn't present me with too many problems. At this size i can shop both in plus sized and non-plus sized shops. I think the problem is here mainly.. i'm not sure i need to define myself. Do i have a right to post here? If i'm honest it feels to me more of a 'womans' board anyway, which i love.
How do we account for definitions of size. Ie. Cors being fat when she visits singapore but people telling her she is too thin here.
If it truly is about what you define for yourself then it must be really difficult to have a cut off point for, say the ssbbw board. Would it not make more sense to have a private womans board. If 'fat' and 'size' really is in many ways social and psychological how can there be weight restrictions on what is a 'big woman' and what is a 'supersized big woman' because i'm sure different people would have different definitions.
This board is welcome to any woman who either defines/identifies herself as a bbw or who doesn't but still has something constructive to add to the discussion. Aside from that, the fact that the definition of fat is so subjective is what makes it difficult. I feel as well that this board is as good a place as any to have discussions about this topic, so your question is certainly welcome and constructive here.

I would say for myself, and I'm speaking only as myself from this point on and not as a moderator that women who have struggled with physical issues related to being fat are most definitely bbws. No one can deny physical realities of not fitting into things, or joint pains or skin infections or breaking things or tiredness due to size...just general constant physical discomfort regardless of whether you think of yourself as a bbw or a ssbbw. The point of discomfort is different for everybody tho, regardless of size and no amount of denial would make that go away. So someone who is a smaller fat woman who is still more uncomfortable in her body than I am at roughly 340lbs has a physical reality to deal with and that can't be denied either. That is quite clear to me.

The part that is not so clear are psychological issues. We all come from different walks of like and despite being fat could have had very different experiences as fat people. Some uneventful and carefree, and some quite traumatic. Also, everyone has different coping mechanisms, and we can all have anxieties about the same things, but to differing degrees at different points in our own personal development. Some fat women don't even identify as fat women, while some who clearly aren't fat do...makes things murky, and there is no way to draw a clear line, and I suppose in some ways there doesn't have to be a line. It's more like a continuum. We just have to go by whatever people say about themselves regardless of physical realities. That's about as clear as it needs to be for me.
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Old 08-24-2009, 08:18 PM   #11
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Originally Posted by mergirl View Post
...If it truly is about what you define for yourself then it must be really difficult to have a cut off point for, say the ssbbw board. Would it not make more sense to have a private womans board. If 'fat' and 'size' really is in many ways social and psychological how can there be weight restrictions on what is a 'big woman' and what is a 'supersized big woman' because i'm sure different people would have different definitions.
Mods... feel free to remove, but geeze...

Mer, You always have a lot of valid points, but why does it always have to come back to the SSBBW board?

Seriously.

It is what it is.
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Old 08-24-2009, 08:20 PM   #12
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IMO, the term ss in front of bbw was kind of a thing for FA's to categorize the chubby girls from the fat girls from the BIG girls.... and to attract FA's. Who doesn't like things super-sized? Like many of the others have said here, there isn't a definite threshold of where bbw hits ssbbw- it is rather a preference of what you desire to call yourself. Personally, whether I'm 260 lbs or 560 lbs, I will always consider myself a bbw... no sense for me to throw in the super sized....
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Old 01-23-2010, 09:58 AM   #13
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i like the idea of personal definition. 5'4 and 200 lbs is a big girl but in my mind not a bbw. not yhet but its a personal decision.
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Old 01-23-2010, 10:28 AM   #14
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IMO, the term ss in front of bbw was kind of a thing for FA's to categorize the chubby girls from the fat girls from the BIG girls.... and to attract FA's. Who doesn't like things super-sized? Like many of the others have said here, there isn't a definite threshold of where bbw hits ssbbw- it is rather a preference of what you desire to call yourself. Personally, whether I'm 260 lbs or 560 lbs, I will always consider myself a bbw... no sense for me to throw in the super sized....
Do others here really believe that if a woman says she is a(n) SSBBW that she is saying/using the SS prefix/adjective for the purpose of or "to attract" fat admirers?

That, "and to attract FA's", in the context in which it was used sounds like that if woman identifies as a SSBBW that she somehow is only using the SS to draw attention to herself and/or that she sees herself as more desirable/better than if she only identified as/referred to herself/called herself a(n) BBW.

Is that really what people think of those of us who identify as a(n) SSBBW?
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Old 01-23-2010, 10:36 AM   #15
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ssbbw draws in the folks who like the really big girls i suppose.
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Old 01-23-2010, 11:10 AM   #16
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i like the idea of personal definition. 5'4 and 200 lbs is a big girl but in my mind not a bbw. not yhet but its a personal decision.

I am your exact proportions, and I consider myself a BBW.
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Old 01-23-2010, 11:24 AM   #17
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I'm 5'3" and 3hundred*mumble, mumble*something and I consider myself an SSBBW. There are those who would argue with me and have but in my personal experience I'm too big to be just a "BBW." In general, I call myself a BBW but when asked specifically I say SSBBW because I feel I am. Perhaps I'm too big for one label and too small for the other but "SSBBW" seems to fit me best.

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Old 01-23-2010, 11:56 AM   #18
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I find how a woman describes herself interesting as both a reflection of her self-perception and what she feels might be attractive about herself to men she would find acceptable. I think the SS designation has a lot to do with how you carry and present yourself, especially in the borderline size ranges. It's a little like the word "buxom". I've seen C-cuppers who could pull it off with the right gear and attitude and triple D's who just don't want that to be all the guys notice and present themselves accordingly. So to some degree you are what you want to be and you're also what you're willing to be wanted for. The right guy/partner will find you "super" in general; size will be one variable in the whole equation. JMO.
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Old 01-23-2010, 12:13 PM   #19
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i like the idea of personal definition. 5'4 and 200 lbs is a big girl but in my mind not a bbw. not yhet but its a personal decision.
I am 5'6 well over 300 but less than 400. I will label myself as ssbbw for others to help them clarify as a lot of people seem to think when you say you are a big women that you are not really all that big. I personally don't think I am a bbw or ssbbw. I am a fat woman.
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Old 01-23-2010, 12:19 PM   #20
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How I define myself has little to nothing to do with how FAs or men in general see me....nowadays, anyway. Ok, when I used to chat on AOL or Yahoo (many, many moons ago) I found that the men I spoke to thought I was too big for their preference. I went to an SSBBW room and was told I was too small. In the eyes of men apparently I was never Just Right. So, I stopped defining myself through how they saw me. I chose the label that suits me best because...well, it suits me best. I am a SSBBW because in my world, the one I live and work in I AM the biggest. There are plenty of BBWs in "my world" but I am one of the only SSBBWs. Now in the world of Dimensions I may not be an SSBBW in the eyes of many...I call myself one anyway.
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Old 01-23-2010, 02:30 PM   #21
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as i've grown the past few years i went from what was considered average to what i think is plump..or fat i guess. i'm not the biggest girl i know but i am fatter than most of my friends, if not 80 perfect. i guess my extra curves are still too new for me to claim a bbw title but it sure seems close.
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Old 01-23-2010, 03:57 PM   #22
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... We just have to go by whatever people say about themselves regardless of physical realities. That's about as clear as it needs to be for me.
This right here. You are what you have decided you are. In my world, in the circles I move in, I am the always the fattest person in the room. In my head I always was and still am supersize. I've broken furniture, ripped pants, been unable to fit into chairs - i have lived the fat experience. And just because at 115kgs others do not consider me supersized doesn't mean that I'm not. I say what I am because I am the only one who has lived in my skin and been through what I've been through.

To Angel: I personally have never thought that the SS was used as a way to attract men. The first time I was able to look at myself, at every bulge and curve, and say yes, I'm huge, super sized yes, and really beautiful - that for me was a day of joy. It had nothing to do with any kind of male gaze.

As fat women I think we gain nothing bickering amongst ourselves over who's fat experience hurt more, did more damage. We all just need to pull ourselves together and work at making our combined realities better in every way than they are at present.
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Old 01-23-2010, 05:00 PM   #23
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I also think that size isn't the only decider, but that a lot of it depends on the individual experiences a woman has. It could be anything from the vast differences she has to those she associates with, to how she views her self, to her physical abilities. I'm under 300 lbs., but I experience a lot of the mobility issues that many women with larger bodies do, and experience a lot of the same emotions, so the empathy for me is there. I don't consider myself super-sized, though. I never understood the importance of either label, really. I consider us all women first. That's enough for me.
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Old 01-23-2010, 05:06 PM   #24
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Originally Posted by NancyGirl74 View Post
How I define myself has little to nothing to do with how FAs or men in general see me....nowadays, anyway. Ok, when I used to chat on AOL or Yahoo (many, many moons ago) I found that the men I spoke to thought I was too big for their preference. I went to an SSBBW room and was told I was too small. In the eyes of men apparently I was never Just Right. So, I stopped defining myself through how they saw me. I chose the label that suits me best because...well, it suits me best. I am a SSBBW because in my world, the one I live and work in I AM the biggest. There are plenty of BBWs in "my world" but I am one of the only SSBBWs. Now in the world of Dimensions I may not be an SSBBW in the eyes of many...I call myself one anyway.
I relate to this completely. I am under 5'1" and just about at 300. Supposedly, I can't call myself a SSBBW because I don't meet a weight requirement. But the way my body carries this weight, impacts my day to day life. Not a complaint there, it is what it is. I don't call myself a SSBBW to attract anyone either. If anything I see it as more of a detraction.
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Last edited by littlefairywren; 01-23-2010 at 05:09 PM.
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Old 01-23-2010, 06:32 PM   #25
steely
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 3,586
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I was always deeply ashamed to be a SSBBW, I felt that no one ever would see me. As someone who has always been overweight, since childhood, I was always horrified when I grew bigger and bigger and never grew smaller. I was afraid to be the biggest person in the room. Afraid of the stares and the whispers, I had fought them all my life. When you are as big as I am, you are always seen but people have a way of looking right through you.

As most people here know, my health tanked a year ago and I lost my SSBBW status and now I don't know how to describe myself. I am not even 300 pounds now. Strangely enough, I have been to the mountain. I was super big and now that I am not so much anymore, I find that it still doesn't matter. It's just a label, just a label. Let me say that again, just a label. It only matters how I see myself. The warm, loving, giving, beautiful person I am and I always was at 440 pounds or 280 pounds and every pound in between. I am still me, good and bad, and otherwise.

I am not bait, by saying I was a SSBBW, it was a description of my physical self. I never thought I would ever catch a man that way and I don't think I'd want to.

I am a BBW and a SSBBW because I have lived both of these realities. I am a woman first and foremost, I think that being a woman is, by far, more important than anything else. I devalued myself as a fat woman and that was the most shameful of all. I can let the labels go and just be, I can be a woman because all along, that was the most important part of who I am and will always be.
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