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Old 08-26-2009, 07:36 AM   #26
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Msbard, just to be clearer; I was referring to the broader board, not this specific thread.
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Old 08-26-2009, 07:49 AM   #27
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Originally Posted by Tad View Post
How do you feel about non-BBW giving rep for posts on this board? We aren't supposed to be posting, for the most part, but is rep OK? Or is that still potentially seen as trying to influence or approve the discussion?
Honestly Tad, I never even thought about it.

If a non-BBW agrees with my post, they can rep it if they want to. I'm pretty sure I've rep'd people on the F/FA board before...again, not thinking about it. Its a post.

Not all Thoughts and ideas are not gender/orientation/preference specific.

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...what I really mean to say is life is heart wrenchingly beautiful, unresolved, and right now...
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Old 08-26-2009, 08:04 AM   #28
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tad
yeah, why not? I'm sure no one would scream at you and demand the rep be taken back lol
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Old 08-26-2009, 08:04 AM   #29
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Originally Posted by zanza View Post
(well these are the only one I could think of for the moment, is cool to add more later as they come to me or is this a one time deal?)
It's okay to add additional questions. The idea is just to not engage in discussion after asking but rather to just listen and learn from the responses you get.
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Old 08-26-2009, 08:09 AM   #30
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Originally Posted by Tad View Post
How do you feel about non-BBW giving rep for posts on this board? We aren't supposed to be posting, for the most part, but is rep OK? Or is that still potentially seen as trying to influence or approve the discussion?
I agree, why not. Who doesn't like reading positive comments? I actually wish I could just read the comments and not get rep points, because the higher your total the less often you're able to spread rep around, or so I was told. But yeah, it seems like a positive way to lend support without intruding, so why not.
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Old 08-26-2009, 08:29 AM   #31
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Originally Posted by Spanky View Post
If/when you find a rack of jeans or slacks or something more fitted, how do you deal with your "non rack" shape. Do different jean manufacturers style in a way that maybe matches your shape? Does the same size accommodate different shapes? Do you tailor stuff to fit? I mean even a plus sized shop would need to cater from the wides pear through hourglasses to the most appley apple.
Haven't read the other answers yet, but my short answer would be shop hard, send back a lot of returns, and when you find something that actually works, buy five of it.

Being able to sew helps, especially taking in waist bands when they're too large.
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Old 08-26-2009, 09:56 AM   #32
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I have a question! When an FA like me writes in a thread, like the one where women posts pic of their cleavage, or something like that, what do you concider a good answer, and what is not a good answer. I mean, I always have doubts about posting in threads like that, because I want to tell the girls, yes, that was hot, but I don't want to sound like a perv or anything.
Oh my, I think I have already messed this up.
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Old 08-26-2009, 10:26 AM   #33
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Originally Posted by Scorsese86 View Post
I have a question! When an FA like me writes in a thread, like the one where women posts pic of their cleavage, or something like that, what do you concider a good answer, and what is not a good answer. I mean, I always have doubts about posting in threads like that, because I want to tell the girls, yes, that was hot, but I don't want to sound like a perv or anything.
Oh my, I think I have already messed this up.
Rep her. Tell her you think the picture is beautiful and thanks for posting or whatever. Seriously, you can't go wrong with Rep and you avoid cat calls from disinterested onlookers.
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Old 08-26-2009, 10:39 AM   #34
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Originally Posted by Scorsese86 View Post
I have a question! When an FA like me writes in a thread, like the one where women posts pic of their cleavage, or something like that, what do you concider a good answer, and what is not a good answer. I mean, I always have doubts about posting in threads like that, because I want to tell the girls, yes, that was hot, but I don't want to sound like a perv or anything.
Oh my, I think I have already messed this up.
Well, if a girl is posting cleavage in the cleavage thread or whatnot, I'm sure that she expected and anticipated comments from people. It is appropriate to tell the girl she looks good, and it is inappropriate to tell her that you wished you could do nasty things to her, etc... But if you are really skeptical, like lilly said, rep them. If you know what you are going to say is over the line, then maybe it should stay in your head. I once had a D.A.R.E. officer, back in 5th grade who gave me some of the best advice- "If something you want to say just sounds too good in your head, you probably shouldn't say it".
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Old 08-26-2009, 10:41 AM   #35
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What does romance mean to you?
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Old 08-26-2009, 10:41 AM   #36
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Originally Posted by Spanky View Post
I thought of this question today while noticing a nicely dressed BBW walking by.

Clothes. Everybody has different shaped bodies no matter what your size. BBWs have larger sizes and thus larger differences. If/when you find a rack of jeans or slacks or something more fitted, how do you deal with your "non rack" shape. Do different jean manufacturers style in a way that maybe matches your shape? Does the same size accommodate different shapes? Do you tailor stuff to fit? I mean even a plus sized shop would need to cater from the wides pear through hourglasses to the most appley apple.

Somehow, though, from the observing perspective, BBWs seem to find clothes that fit, and sometimes fit very nicely.

- Spanky

edited: Understand that my perspective is as a 33" waist, walk up and get the right style pants or jeans, try on, go up or down a size based on mfg differences and head to the register. Just looking to understand how a BBW has to approach this problem.
Not all plus size clothes are made equal.. I think some brands tend to cater towards certain shapes, not necessarily on purpose or anything; I just think it happens that way. As an example, I find LB pants/jeans to be better for girls who are evenly proportioned. The jeans don't seem to be very apple friendly (jmo!) Also, lots of brands have many "styles" of clothes so I find that some clothes at a store will work and others won't. Another example, Old Navy sells varying styles of jeans based on the 'rise' of the jean (how far it comes up.) I tend to get classic rise or low rise (as opposed to something ultra low or really high) because I think it provides enough belly coverage but also is comfortable enough because it doesn't come up too high. Generally, I tend to stick with brands that I know have worked well for me in the past. It's all trial and error though. I do also tailor on occasion, but generally only formal-wear when it's super important it fits perfectly.

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How do you feel about non-BBW giving rep for posts on this board? We aren't supposed to be posting, for the most part, but is rep OK? Or is that still potentially seen as trying to influence or approve the discussion?
I think that's fine!

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Originally Posted by Scorsese86 View Post
I have a question! When an FA like me writes in a thread, like the one where women posts pic of their cleavage, or something like that, what do you concider a good answer, and what is not a good answer. I mean, I always have doubts about posting in threads like that, because I want to tell the girls, yes, that was hot, but I don't want to sound like a perv or anything.
Oh my, I think I have already messed this up.
If the girl is posting a picture, then she's probably looking for those sort of responses anyway.. and if she isn't, she should at least be anticipating them so in that case, I don't think there's anything wrong with saying that she looks good!
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Old 08-26-2009, 11:05 AM   #37
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What does romance mean to you?
To me, romance is about two main things: being sincere and being personal.

I tend to consider little things romantic.. like, sending me a youtube video of a song you think I'd like or texting me after I finish a big test at school asking me how it went, because these are things that show that 1. you're listening to me when I talk about what I like and what's going on in my life and 2. you care enough about me to remember those things. I love it when my boyfriend mentions something I told him about when we first met because to me it shows that he was genuinely interested in getting to know me. I'm not saying that he needs to remember every single thing I've ever told him about myself or anything, but remembering the big things is important and it's nice when he remembers little things too. I guess all of this falls under being personal.. truly getting to know me is the key to my heart.

I do love typical romantic things too.. but only if they're sincere. Saying I love you at the right moment can be romantic, and so so so cute but if you don't mean it, then it means nothing to me. Also, to tie this in to what I said before.. if you're remembering those little things or asking me about my day or whatever only because you feel a sense of obligation to do so.. it's no longer romantic.. I want to feel like you really want to know those things about me, and like you really care how my day went.. not that you're doing it to make me happy.

I think the biggest mistake a guy can make in his quest to be romantic is to do the typical things because he thinks all girls like them. Not every single girl wants roses and chocolates and a teddy bear. Some girls don't. I mean, I personally do love those things.. really.. but getting me pink flowers as opposed to red roses because you know I love pink or getting me my favorite kind of candy instead of expensive Godiva chocolates really means so much more to me. Also, it's all about timing .. if for every single holiday or anniversary or whatever you get her the typical box of chocolates and flowers or you bring her to the typical fancy resturant, it loses it's sincerity because it's like, use your brain.. think about what she's told you she likes.. get to know her.. think outside of what you've seen in every romantic comedy. I personally can enjoy the cliche romantic things on occasion but would get sick of it if that was all there ever was to our romance.. like I said, it loses its sincerity to me.

The key to all of this though, is that this is how I personally feel about it. Every girl is different.
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Old 08-26-2009, 11:10 AM   #38
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What does romance mean to you?
To me romance involves any act that is a demonstration of the value one person holds to another. It can be a very simple gesture or grand, but it in some way it has to say, "I value your presence in my life." Hanging out and watching bad 70's cop shows all afternoon is romantic to me.
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Old 08-26-2009, 11:37 AM   #39
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For Tad and all the other FAs,

You're free to post on the BBW Forum as long as you're not speaking 'for' the BBWs (ie, don't post your experiences on a particular thread that only wants BBW experiences), you're critiquing the BBWs (or women in general), or you're objectifying/sexualizing women. Otherwise, you should feel comfortable reading, posting, and repping in the BBW Forum.

There may be exemptions to this general rule, but that seems like a useful guideline.

Your friendly neighborhood mod,
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Old 08-26-2009, 11:44 AM   #40
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What does romance mean to you?
I'll admit that romance is somewhat of a foreign concept to me, as I've dated in the past very socially backward, non-emotional, analytical sorts - some that even held the slightest bit of emotional expression (especially those deemed romantic cliches) in utter contempt. So most of my experience is purely observational in nature.

I think I've always thought that anything where one partner is genuinely showing care for another is romantic. Whether it was a friend's boyfriend taking her to the dentist and holding her hand because she was afraid of the dentist or my friend's girlfriend making my friend's favorite dinner (after her long day at work) because she wanted to make her happy.
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Old 08-26-2009, 12:25 PM   #41
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This "little" apple....doesn't like jeans. At a smaller size, I like them with stretchy waist bands....read those are made for people bigger in the middle, IMO.
I wear a lot of skirts and dresses- with easy waists....that are big and don't cinch up at the waist as badly. This also hides some of my belly.
My saving grace being an apple wearing jeans is the fact my butt sticks out..If not they would be big from my waist to my ankles...I have never worn jeans with stretchy waist bands but I am thinking I might need to try a pair and see how it goes..

Now to answer Spanky's question..I try to buy at least 2 to 3 pair of the jeans just in case they stop making them..I have more problems finding shirts that fit then anything...I rant and rave about manufacturers that put darts into the body of their shirts..I want a shirt that fits in the shoulders and chest area and fits in the stomach area as well..The last 4 shirts I have bought I have had to take out the darts in the shirt for it to cover my stomach.
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Old 08-26-2009, 12:29 PM   #42
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What does romance mean to you?
Someone to take care of me when I am sick,someone to just leave me alone when I sad,someone to make me laugh when I need it,someone that wants to be an equal partner in all areas of my life,someone that will put up with my quirks,someone that will take my car and have the oil changed and wash it..Actions speak louder then words and just hearing I love you no longer works for me..<shrugs> Maybe it is the age I am getting to..
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Old 08-26-2009, 04:21 PM   #43
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Originally Posted by LillyBBBW View Post
To me romance involves any act that is a demonstration of the value one person holds to another. It can be a very simple gesture or grand, but it in some way it has to say, "I value your presence in my life." Hanging out and watching bad 70's cop shows all afternoon is romantic to me.
This sums it up for me....someone that values me...and shows me that they do.
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Old 08-26-2009, 06:54 PM   #44
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How do you feel about non-BBW giving rep for posts on this board? We aren't supposed to be posting, for the most part, but is rep OK? Or is that still potentially seen as trying to influence or approve the discussion?
This board is not private, so there is nothing stopping anyone from reading, repping, or PMing anybody else. I would imagine that no one would object to rep so long as it's isn't negative.
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Old 08-26-2009, 10:45 PM   #45
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What does romance mean to you?
Well....

Romance is quite simply having that swept off of your feet feeling. It doesn't have to be expensive or all too creative. If a guy lends me his jacket or something, I find that rather romantic. I think it's romantic when a guy wants to massage your feet after a long day of work. Heck, it's romantic if a guy makes me a di giorno pizza. To sum it up, I guess romance can be defined as those little moments where a guy goes above and beyond to make a girl feel extra special and like a princess.
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Old 08-27-2009, 12:14 AM   #46
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Romance is the little things that remind you everyday why you're with that person. My Dad for instance won't eat unless my Mom's around. Its really freaky and weird - and it used to worry me so I asked him. He's a very shy, very quiet man - the epitome of the strong silent type actually LOL! and I wasn't expecting an answer but then he said: nothing tastes as good to me when she's not here. So then I went to my room and bawled because just that simple statement for me is the epitome of love and romance. A waltz around the kitchen after supper, a kiss on the nape of the neck when I stir at night, remembering to buy Gino Genelli Chocolate Chip Ice Cream when I'm having my period, carrying the heaviest shopping bags, cooking for me and loving it, removing frogs and snails from the house...for me real romance is those small things that are actually everything.
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Old 08-27-2009, 12:37 AM   #47
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To me, ' romance ' is extremely personal, found mostly in the moment, and while an answer can be given...no man or woman should take cues from anything that does not come from their own heart and soul, connecting, with eyes and mind wide open, with another very unique and individual heart and soul. There should be no recipe, in my opinion. Once that happens...there is frustration and the missing of a million moments.
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Old 08-27-2009, 03:02 PM   #48
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Quote:
Originally Posted by UMBROBOYUM View Post
What does romance mean to you?
respect care and a reverance for making time spent together special and uncommon. for me its when you savor everything about each other and put your efforts into trying to please each other.
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Old 08-28-2009, 05:36 AM   #49
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Thanks for the relies, got another one for ya,

How did/do you go about flirting and/or attracting a mate?
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Old 08-28-2009, 09:45 AM   #50
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How did/do you go about flirting and/or attracting a mate?
I approach it quite differently now than I did in the past. In the past, I wasn't looking for FA's so I would just attempt to flirt with or get to know guys from my school or whatever. Generally, I'd flirt with them and try to be their friend first, and then try to move it along after that. Needless to say, it rarely worked. That's sort of when I came to the conclusion that finding an FA was probably my best bet because reality is, lots of guys simply are not interested in a girl my size. Looking for FA's only changed the way I approached dating a lot simply because this required me to focus my energy online as opposed to in real life. I just began chating with people from Dims or FF and then let things go from there.. a lot of the time, the (single) guys here are sorta on the look out too. Two of my boyfriends have been from Dims, including my current boy. I also saw a guy from FF for awhile.

As far as actually trying to attract them, my approach is basically to get to know someone first. I'm not big on being really cliche flirty or sexual before I know someone. Instead, I ask them a lot of questions about themselves and try to get to know them as a person, the basics about them, what they like and don't like, their relationship past, etc. I think a good way to tell if they are also interested in you is whether or not they reciprocate and ask you questions. Chances are if they're giving you one word answers and hardly asking anything back, they aren't interested. After you start to get to know someone things seem to either stop there or progress naturally, in my experience anyway. If you have to push it, it's probably not going to work.
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