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Old 08-24-2009, 12:06 PM   #1
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Default Interracial queer relationships.

I am reading a brilliant book at the mo called "Divided Sisters" (Cheers swordfish chicky for the recomendation). There is a whole chapter on Interracial lesbian relationships. I kinna wanted to know about any experiences any of you guys have had regarding this. I think in debates i have been a part of in the past on Dimensions i was pretty ignorant to the extent and reasons of racial tensions in the U.S and what a complicated issue it is.. this book is kinna helping me to get my head around this.
Aaaanyway.. In the book it says that interracial sexual partnerships are even greater (in number but i suspect quality too! lol ) amongst lesbians than hetrosexual people. Thier reasoning for this is that being gay to begin with is already crossing a line of social acceptances, so when two women meet (and i suspect it will be the same for men) Love/Lust is the main concern.
There is loads more in the book (This chapter in particular) that i wanted to share but i wanted to hear of any of your experiences first.
I know Cors, you were saying the girls over there called you -hmm i can't even remember .. but it was something shitty anyway because you were dating a white guy. I cant remember the name but i remember it being something which tried to take power away from you somehow. Totally rediculous anyway!!
The book talks of "The issues of race coming before sexuality" for black lesbians, which i also found interesting. I am always interested in Identity hmmm priorities i guess. For me i would say i am a woman, lesbian, Fa, then when i remember i am Roma.
I know that talking about race can be fraught with missunderstandings but this book has made me excited to talk about things. I always feel there is no point in sweeping stuff under the carpet when instead you could just munch on it!!! (badda ching! *the sound of a groan and a pin drop).
Hmm. i guess i'm not actually asking specific questions... just more of an open disussion really.

Oh also, have you seen the film "The Watermelon woman"? I remember watching it on tv Yeeears ago and GD bought me it for my birthday.. going to watch it again soon. I remember guinevere Turner was in it anyway..and the La times said it was "The sort of film spike lee would make if he were both smarter and a Dyke"!
So pretty good(ish)
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Old 08-24-2009, 02:40 PM   #2
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Haha! I got called a Sarong Party Girl (Wiki) and received a bunch of the usual slutty gold-digging bimbo comments. Both Singapore and Malaysia were British colonies before they "abandoned" us during WW2, which might explain why many older folk generally don't take too kindly to Caucasians. And well, all that talk about Asian men having the smallest penises in the world probably makes them even more insecure and resentful.

Anyway, most of my relationships have been interracial - probably because most Chinese/Malay women are generally verrrry thin and just so... different. I hate that many Asian lesbians are closeted and so narrow-minded (fatphobic, biphobic, transphobic, queerphobic, unable to accept anything that is not their conventional vanilla or butch top/femme sub or their growing obsession with "no label")... and they think I am a vociferous freak of nature. I have always felt like an outcast, even as a "rebellious" kid and sadly still find it difficult to relate to most people my age/race/nationality. I consider myself colourblind when it comes to dating, but I have a contrast/perversion of roles fetish (think small frail Asian femme Top with huge strong non-Asian butch bottom - the more differences the better). The few Asians I do end up being attracted to tend to be fellow "freaks".
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Old 08-24-2009, 06:11 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mergirl View Post
I remember guinevere Turner was in it anyway..
Guin Turner!!

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Originally Posted by Cors View Post
which might explain why many older folk generally don't take too kindly to Caucasians. And well, all that talk about Asian men having the smallest penises in the world probably makes them even more insecure and resentful.
*shakes head* I don't think they abandoned Singapore - especially since they'd lost India to independence, I heard from some old-timers that the British were quite reluctant to let go of Malaya...OK, no more history lessons...

It's quite interesting that you get negative reactions - I get them too, but in a different manner. When I hang out with white male colleagues/friends or go for lunch/dinner with them, there were occasions when I've witnessed service staff become simpering sycophants towards my colleagues/friends but turn into bloody rude eejits when they serve me. In fact, where I work, some of my local colleagues are actually afraid to speak to my white colleagues on a casual level, and I end up becoming their middle-man.

I've discussed this 'phenomenon' with several of my male colleagues (as well as a few white female friends) and we wonder where this trait comes from - this colonialist syndrome.

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Anyway, most of my relationships have been interracial - probably because most Chinese/Malay women are generally verrrry thin and just so... different. I hate that many Asian lesbians are closeted and so narrow-minded (fatphobic, biphobic, transphobic, queerphobic, unable to accept anything that is not their conventional vanilla or butch top/femme sub or their growing obsession with "no label")... and they think I am a vociferous freak of nature. I have always felt like an outcast, even as a "rebellious" kid and sadly still find it difficult to relate to most people my age/race/nationality.
Join the club - oh and you forgot, somewhat racist too.

I dunno if this would apply to race but, I have had experiences where friends of someone I once dated would pass comments in a different language about me. Fortunately she was bold enough to stand up for me (she would later tell me that her friends had an issue with me not being able to speak Chinese or not watching Channel 8 (the Chinese channel in SG) programmes. However, I do understand a smattering of Chinese, so when they pass comments about my beerbelly (*sob*) or my dress sense, it can be quite hurtful - and it eventually affected the relationship with the person I was dating.

Sorry, just mouthing off again.

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but I have a contrast/perversion of roles fetish (think small frail Asian femme Top with huge strong non-Asian butch bottom - the more differences the better).
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Old 08-25-2009, 03:59 AM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cors View Post
Haha! I got called a Sarong Party Girl (Wiki) and received a bunch of the usual slutty gold-digging bimbo comments. Both Singapore and Malaysia were British colonies before they "abandoned" us during WW2, which might explain why many older folk generally don't take too kindly to Caucasians. And well, all that talk about Asian men having the smallest penises in the world probably makes them even more insecure and resentful.

Anyway, most of my relationships have been interracial - probably because most Chinese/Malay women are generally verrrry thin and just so... different. I hate that many Asian lesbians are closeted and so narrow-minded (fatphobic, biphobic, transphobic, queerphobic, unable to accept anything that is not their conventional vanilla or butch top/femme sub or their growing obsession with "no label")... and they think I am a vociferous freak of nature. I have always felt like an outcast, even as a "rebellious" kid and sadly still find it difficult to relate to most people my age/race/nationality. I consider myself colourblind when it comes to dating, but I have a contrast/perversion of roles fetish (think small frail Asian femme Top with huge strong non-Asian butch bottom - the more differences the better). The few Asians I do end up being attracted to tend to be fellow "freaks".
Oh god thats right "Sarong party girl"!!!!!!!!!! You are to become a Lawer!! . There is actually a lot in this book about within race resentment/insecurity about dating outside your race. Actually though, i know very little about what people from singapore/malaysia feel about being queer and dating outside of your race except from the stuff we have talked about. Though from what you say i doubt there will be a book written any time in the future.
I do get the attraction in contrast, though i generally do prefer femme women i think when bodies look different they can make each other look more stiking somehow.
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Old 08-25-2009, 04:04 AM   #5
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Originally Posted by strangeangel View Post

Join the club - oh and you forgot, somewhat racist too.

I dunno if this would apply to race but, I have had experiences where friends of someone I once dated would pass comments in a different language about me. Fortunately she was bold enough to stand up for me (she would later tell me that her friends had an issue with me not being able to speak Chinese or not watching Channel 8 (the Chinese channel in SG) programmes. However, I do understand a smattering of Chinese, so when they pass comments about my beerbelly (*sob*) or my dress sense, it can be quite hurtful - and it eventually affected the relationship with the person I was dating.

Sorry, just mouthing off again.



OMG How rude! thats horrible that they would talk about you in another language.. It would be different if they didn't speak any languages you knew but if they did then its just plain awful. When my friends family come over from Sweden to visit her mum speaks a bit of English and i speak a wee bit of swedish so we get along.. but we know we can just talk in our own languages too...we trust that we are saying nice stuff about each other.. hmm that sucks.... and yes..guin turner=yum!! Have you seen "Preaching to the perverted"? She is great in it!
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