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Old 08-29-2009, 02:39 PM   #26
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Originally Posted by wrestlingguy View Post
So, my question to you is, didn't I ask a question that I obviously don't know the answer to? I didn't know that was a crime......

Next question, why does this thread have to become heated? If this is in the vein of understanding how the male/female dynamic works, don't you think that those truly interested in exploring this will give honest, perceptive answers, while others will..........I guess just be themselves.

Last question, would a topic like this, even if the question was reversed, be welcome in the BBW forum?

That is all.
Wrestlingguy, I wouldn't blame you if the thread turned sour. It's a decent topic of discussion. It's just from what I've seen, the subject matter of this thread means it's BOUND to end up in a fight. The "who's got it better?" threads always do. I would think the same thing in the BBW forum, though it would probably degenerate even more quickly.
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Old 08-29-2009, 03:00 PM   #27
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Originally Posted by wrestlingguy View Post
So, my question is, do you feel that BBW's are given more latitude with regard to their posts than FA's are, or do the FA's just say more dumb stuff, so it appears that way?
My opinion: more FAs just say dumb stuff. Compounding that, BBWs are more likely to be offended personally by dumb stuff than most FAs are.
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Old 08-29-2009, 03:31 PM   #28
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screw that...lets go back to October 5, 1955 :-)



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Old 08-29-2009, 03:41 PM   #29
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Originally Posted by katorade View Post
Wrestlingguy, I wouldn't blame you if the thread turned sour. It's a decent topic of discussion. It's just from what I've seen, the subject matter of this thread means it's BOUND to end up in a fight. The "who's got it better?" threads always do. I would think the same thing in the BBW forum, though it would probably degenerate even more quickly.
I don't think this debate on who gets the "bye" has to reach a level of a heated discussion...

Whether it's (1954,1955, 2009) there are some scenarios that one gets a bye and another does not...


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Originally Posted by Duniwin View Post
My opinion: more FAs just say dumb stuff. Compounding that, BBWs are more likely to be offended personally by dumb stuff than most FAs are.
Well certainly stuff that will get negative attention...

However,Consider the following....

Hypothetical Scenario

BBW opens a thread & expressed a lack of confidence
FA opens a thread & expressed a lack of confidence

**Both introductions & comments are entered on the Main Board.

Depending how the FA presents his case- he can either be accepted OR flamed by both genders... If his statements are not accepted somewhere the response will appear that he better "Grow some fucking balls".

The BBW, on the average, will garner more sympathetic responses.
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Old 08-29-2009, 03:56 PM   #30
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yes, i think bbws get more room to maneuver here than FAs do. they say and do things that if a guy did he would probably be banned. i've seen very sexual and very hostile stuff posted. i think its mainly because FAs are much less likely to report people on the whole. i think that maybe they should just report those things more so that they'll be a little more equilibrium.

i noticed the same thing happening in chat. like the posting pix issue. if a guy doesn't post a pic here on the forums or in chat and doesn't speak much in the open he is considered to be a troll right away. it may be that like a lot of people new to a place he is just getting his feet. i don't see this same approach attached to women. a bbw is just quiet, shy or getting to know the place. i've seen bbws be abusive toward people with disabilities, i've seen them call people nasty names, i've seen them married pretending to be single. no one says a thing. but when guys do the same they get banned. i think there is a true double standard here myself. but then i'm not around all of the time and i don't know of every ocurrance. its just what i tend to see when i'm around.

on the other hand guys don't have to put up with a lot of things bbws have to put up with. most of the abusive stuff towards bbws happens in private. so by the time most of you guys come across a bbw here she has been primed by some guys who are truly almost sociopathic in the way that they treat them. they especially hone in on the newbies before they can find out there are actually such things as decent FAs. a lot of bbws are even too embarrassed to talk about most of the stuff they've come across and how some FAs have tried to manipulate them. as much as bbws complain here there is still a LOT that they keep quiet about. i don't just get this from bbws but from FAs confessing to me themselves about things they have done before. and for every honest FA who actually feels sorry and apologetic for mistakes he may have made there are tons who aren't and don't seem to care and do the same continually even after many years of knowing and understanding the effect they are having on bbws. nutty guys try to brainwash women into thier ways of thinking. they cyber harass. they talk to women in disrespectful abusive ways that most other guys don't have a clue about.

i often wish a lot of my guy friends could come in as women just to see the kind of mind numbing negative stuff a lot of women here have to deal with. so in the end it makes them touchy. there is so much nastiness and mind games being played behind the scenes that i think it makes a lot of women extremely cynical. if all of the guys were trying to be decent and polite i think there would be a lot fewer women getting upset and reporting the guys for the least little thing. at some point you understand the general tone of someone and where it is going. but there is no way for a lot of FAs to understand that and a lot of things sound innocent to them in public on the forums but a lot of bbws know better. so its kind of a mixed bag. i didn't get my opinion that its better not to take a lot of FAs here seriously from nowhere. i'm pretty even handed. some other bbws even think i give FAs too much room. but if i depended on this place for serious male relationships i'd be upset myself. i think the reason a lot of guys who've been around for a while don't report bbws for some stuff is because they understand that. thats why its good for you guys who care to be heard more. and to also make sure not to keep silent yourself when you see something messed up. but don't be afraid to defend yourselves either. anyone can go too far--even a hurt bbw.

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Old 08-29-2009, 04:16 PM   #31
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Here's what I noticed.......if a guy came out in the middle of the open and bellowed "I WANT A HUGE SEXY FAT CHICK WITH A GINORMOUS ASSSSSSSSSSSSSSS" pretty much every female member not fitting the description would line up to beat him with a stick then say he's objectifying. Hell even some of the women who do fit the description would say the same thin

Now, if a woman went in the middle of the room and screamed "I WANT A HOT SEXY MAN WITH A HUGE COCKKKKKKKKKKKK" every male not fitting the description would go "meh...whatever". Its the same objectification of the first scenario but the reaction would be much different.

Women are no different then men. They will trip and fall, get drunk and make asses out of themselves, they will fart so loud it will wake the kids up....they're HUMAN. Human's make mistakes, its not fair to say more men than women are jerks or says stupid things. EVERYONE can say something stupid on any given day.

It just so happens we're on a forum where the objectification of women is somewhat justified by the paysite ads saying "look how fat i am" or "don't i look sexy?" So a guy sees the paysite ads and thinks "well, these girls love flaunting their stuff so I'm gonna shout out what I want". The same thing would happen in a predominant BHM style forum....like if the paysite ads were all of men. The women would be saying "I love your huge wang" or "oooh i love a guy with a six pack and spiked hair, yummm"....its the same thing as the guy saying he wants a girl with a huge ass.

So do bbw's get a bye on here? Hell yes they do, just look around. The site is predominantly about and run by bbw's. Its no different than a baseball forum run by Red Sox fans who take the side of the red sox fan if he/she's locked in a battle with a yankee fan.

That's my opinion anyway, just how I feel.
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Old 08-29-2009, 04:35 PM   #32
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Originally Posted by KHayes666 View Post
Here's what I noticed.......if a guy came out in the middle of the open and bellowed "I WANT A HUGE SEXY FAT CHICK WITH A GINORMOUS ASSSSSSSSSSSSSSS" pretty much every female member not fitting the description would line up to beat him with a stick then say he's objectifying. Hell even some of the women who do fit the description would say the same thin

Now, if a woman went in the middle of the room and screamed "I WANT A HOT SEXY MAN WITH A HUGE COCKKKKKKKKKKKK" every male not fitting the description would go "meh...whatever". Its the same objectification of the first scenario but the reaction would be much different.

Women are no different then men. They will trip and fall, get drunk and make asses out of themselves, they will fart so loud it will wake the kids up....they're HUMAN. Human's make mistakes, its not fair to say more men than women are jerks or says stupid things. EVERYONE can say something stupid on any given day.

It just so happens we're on a forum where the objectification of women is somewhat justified by the paysite ads saying "look how fat i am" or "don't i look sexy?" So a guy sees the paysite ads and thinks "well, these girls love flaunting their stuff so I'm gonna shout out what I want". The same thing would happen in a predominant BHM style forum....like if the paysite ads were all of men. The women would be saying "I love your huge wang" or "oooh i love a guy with a six pack and spiked hair, yummm"....its the same thing as the guy saying he wants a girl with a huge ass.

So do bbw's get a bye on here? Hell yes they do, just look around. The site is predominantly about and run by bbw's. Its no different than a baseball forum run by Red Sox fans who take the side of the red sox fan if he/she's locked in a battle with a yankee fan.

That's my opinion anyway, just how I feel.
It is not our responsibility as women to have a say over how men react to their own objectification. If you have a problem with it, then speak up. That's what we do when we see a problem. You also don't see the thousand or so women rolling their eyes at the "I want a huge cock" posts. Thing is, it's not our place to speak for the male population here, and we can't really have any opinion on how they might take something BECAUSE WE'RE NOT MEN.

Also, there's a huge separation between the paysite and the communal aspects of the board. The people on pay-sites are ASKING to be objectified. Hell, they get PAID for it.
And last time I checked, Conrad wasn't a woman.
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Old 08-29-2009, 05:17 PM   #33
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Well certainly stuff that will get negative attention...

However,Consider the following....

Hypothetical Scenario

BBW opens a thread & expressed a lack of confidence
FA opens a thread & expressed a lack of confidence

**Both introductions & comments are entered on the Main Board.

Depending how the FA presents his case- he can either be accepted OR flamed by both genders... If his statements are not accepted somewhere the response will appear that he better "Grow some fucking balls".

The BBW, on the average, will garner more sympathetic responses.
A good point, and well taken. I was pretty brief in my earlier post, and I wanted to expand on that a little. I said that BBWs are more likely to be personally offended by unthinking remarks than FAs, and I beleive that is true... for all the reason that superodalisque mentioned. A lot of stuff goes on behind the scenes that the well behaved, "decent" FAs never see.

I still stand behind the other half of my statement that FAs are more likely to say dumb things. The average age of FAs coming to this site is probably much lower than the average age of BBWs coming to this site. If my own experience is any indication, FAs are likely to start exploring the internet as a young teen scouring the web for images of fat women. Thus many FAs stumble across Dims as awkward inexperienced teenagers. BBWs are probably more likely to come to Dimensions after trials and tribulations, and struggling to find a place in the world. I could be generalizing to far with these statements, but if true, they explain a lot.

It explains why brand new FAs say stupid stuff (they're young, inexperienced and theoretically over 18), and it explains why BBWs are more likely to be defensive (they've been out in the world and don't have patience for stupid stuff anymore).

We should be respecting everyone equally, and that means that since more out of line comments come from newbie FAs, they get more flack than other groups. I'm not going to tolerate rude or thoughtless comments, but I think it's important to understand where they are coming from.

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Originally Posted by katorade View Post
It is not our responsibility as women to have a say over how men react to their own objectification. If you have a problem with it, then speak up. That's what we do when we see a problem....

Also, there's a huge separation between the paysite and the communal aspects of the board. The people on pay-sites are ASKING to be objectified. Hell, they get PAID for it.
Aha! I totally agree with you, and this is where the disconnect for the dumb comments from newbie FAs comes in: they don't always realize there is a distinction between the paysite and communal parts of the boards, and a young FAs search will often lead them to the Paysite board before they reach the rest of the community.

Now, does this mean we should cut them some slack when they make inappropriate comments on the main boards? Hell no, they need to learn the rules and follow them just like everyone else. Not everyone has a teacher's patience with immaturity, but I just try to be firm, but forgiving of the first mistake or misstep. I don't take it personally if someone says something stupid, but if it becomes a chronic condition, there's usually no cure.
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Old 08-29-2009, 05:53 PM   #34
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...if it becomes a chronic condition, there's usually no cure.
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Old 08-30-2009, 03:03 PM   #35
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A good point, and well taken. I was pretty brief in my earlier post, and I wanted to expand on that a little. I said that BBWs are more likely to be personally offended by unthinking remarks than FAs, and I beleive that is true... for all the reason that superodalisque mentioned. A lot of stuff goes on behind the scenes that the well behaved, "decent" FAs never see.

I still stand behind the other half of my statement that FAs are more likely to say dumb things. The average age of FAs coming to this site is probably much lower than the average age of BBWs coming to this site. If my own experience is any indication, FAs are likely to start exploring the internet as a young teen scouring the web for images of fat women. Thus many FAs stumble across Dims as awkward inexperienced teenagers. BBWs are probably more likely to come to Dimensions after trials and tribulations, and struggling to find a place in the world. I could be generalizing to far with these statements, but if true, they explain a lot.

It explains why brand new FAs say stupid stuff (they're young, inexperienced and theoretically over 18), and it explains why BBWs are more likely to be defensive (they've been out in the world and don't have patience for stupid stuff anymore).

We should be respecting everyone equally, and that means that since more out of line comments come from newbie FAs, they get more flack than other groups. I'm not going to tolerate rude or thoughtless comments, but I think it's important to understand where they are coming from.



Aha! I totally agree with you, and this is where the disconnect for the dumb comments from newbie FAs comes in: they don't always realize there is a distinction between the paysite and communal parts of the boards, and a young FAs search will often lead them to the Paysite board before they reach the rest of the community.

Now, does this mean we should cut them some slack when they make inappropriate comments on the main boards? Hell no, they need to learn the rules and follow them just like everyone else. Not everyone has a teacher's patience with immaturity, but I just try to be firm, but forgiving of the first mistake or misstep. I don't take it personally if someone says something stupid, but if it becomes a chronic condition, there's usually no cure.
i can see where you might think its the young FAs who are the worst. but in my opinion thats not true. i'm often approached by 20 somethings and teens. i think its unfair to put this on totally on them. a lot of them are pretty respectful even if a bit coarse sometimes. if they put a foot wrong and you tell them they are more likely to apologize--at least that has been my experience. i'm sure other people might have different ones. very few of them have ever said something so horrendous to me right off the bat that i was totally upset with them. but then i don't know all of them and its true i'm not always very touchy about such things.

i think there is a difference between the inexperience and ignorance of youth and outright hateful, dishonest and mysogynistic behavior. most of that truly comes from older FAs. it seems to me that some of them have an axe to grind when it comes to women. they can be intentionally emotionally abusive. sometimes i get the feeling that the may resent thier attraction to fat women and that might be magnified by the fact that the net wasn't around when most of them were younger and they never had much access. a lot of them seemed to feel that they been trapped in passionless relationships with people they were never really attracted to. my take on it is that they seem to almost unconsiously blame bbws for the fact that they never had the courage to stand up fo thier own preferences. something in this place just seems to bring out a lot of pent up anger regarding all of that. maybe its the sheer availability of women of thier dreams that they didn't have the courage to reach out for when they were young--regrets. add to that all of the fantasies they've had about what fat women should be like that they've engrained over the years and the fact that once they interact with real bbw they resent perhaps having some of those fantasy icons shattered. they seem to get angry if you don't want to flesh out thier fantasies for them.

i'm not quite sure its fair to put it on the young and inexperienced. for me, a young guy a bit out of control is about as bothersome as a puppy who hasn't learned yet to know when its inappropriate to nip. it might hurt a little but you know that they'll learn different eventually -- they don't make me too angry because they want to learn to be different and to please you. in many cases that will happen if you teach then patiently instead of just hitting them with a rolled up newspaper. but the real problem comes with people who have a wall up about learning and harbor resentments against and try to punish you because they can't admit that thier own actions longterm have made them unhappy. every time they look at you somewhere deep down you remind them of how much bravery they have lacked.
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Old 08-30-2009, 03:43 PM   #36
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Wrestlingguy, I wouldn't blame you if the thread turned sour. It's a decent topic of discussion. It's just from what I've seen, the subject matter of this thread means it's BOUND to end up in a fight. The "who's got it better?" threads always do. I would think the same thing in the BBW forum, though it would probably degenerate even more quickly.
Good point. More degenerates post on the BBW forum.
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Old 08-30-2009, 04:02 PM   #37
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Now, if a woman went in the middle of the room and screamed "I WANT A HOT SEXY MAN WITH A HUGE COCKKKKKKKKKKKK" every male not fitting the description would go "meh...whatever". Its the same objectification of the first scenario but the reaction would be much different.
That's not true actually...at least not on Dims. There was a thread on the weight board with a guy talking about his gf telling him his dong was small. Some of the ladies (not just BBW either) mentioned how women are judged if they don't say they love small penises. I quoted and agreed with some (didn't even say neener neener I love huge cock or anything like that...)....and had some guy pitch an absolute hissy fit on me because I agreed that a woman should be allowed her preferences just like a man.

Men can be quite sensitive about people not liking their bodies, too....and quite vocal.
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Old 08-30-2009, 04:12 PM   #38
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Good point. More degenerates post on the BBW forum.
Sounds like a win-win with plenty of degenerates to be shared by all
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Old 08-30-2009, 10:14 PM   #39
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Sounds like a win-win with plenty of degenerates to be shared by all
You want degenerates on the BBW Forum? Let me call a few buddies...

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Old 08-30-2009, 10:21 PM   #40
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You want degenerates on the BBW Forum? Let me call a few buddies...

Kevin:
Yep- sounds like we are going to have a party - don't forget to send the Invites, Party Favors and the Cake




I think a grand time will be had by all.
Seems as if two of our guest are partying already...
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Old 08-30-2009, 10:58 PM   #41
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""I find the term Sugar Daddy insulting, FWIW. I also find men who do that insulting as well. I guess in terms of relationships, to me it seems no better than that between a hooker and her john, not something I was raised to look for out of my relationships.""

So maybe you did have an opinion.
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Old 08-31-2009, 05:49 AM   #42
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""I find the term Sugar Daddy insulting, FWIW. I also find men who do that insulting as well. I guess in terms of relationships, to me it seems no better than that between a hooker and her john, not something I was raised to look for out of my relationships.""

So maybe you did have an opinion.

How astute of you. Unfortunately, my opinion was not about the question I asked. Nice try, though.

Maybe you want to go for round 2, where you can win a new Buick.
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Old 08-31-2009, 08:55 AM   #43
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You ask a "question" like you have no idea what you think, when clearly you would not ask the question if you did not have an opinion.

Trying to insult does not make your point.
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Old 08-31-2009, 09:22 AM   #44
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There is no point. A question is a question, as long as someone is willing to learn from the question. That was my intent. While I may have feelings/opinions about some of the dynamics of the question, those opinions have no value in my understanding the responses of the question, and forming my opinion afterward.

Snarkiness aside, can we get some more opinions here? Help me!!!
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Old 08-31-2009, 10:01 AM   #45
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Anal sex is going to be seen as a lot more aggressive than hooking up. I think the examples you used are poor choices to make your assumed point.
more aggressive than asking money for pussy?

i have no problem with paying for sex or sugar daddies, ftr. but i'd question the commitment.

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Old 08-31-2009, 02:28 PM   #46
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There is no point. A question is a question, as long as someone is willing to learn from the question. That was my intent. While I may have feelings/opinions about some of the dynamics of the question, those opinions have no value in my understanding the responses of the question, and forming my opinion afterward.

Snarkiness aside, can we get some more opinions here? Help me!!!
Yes, I think that BBW's get more leeway than FA's or men in general on this site. I think it has to do with numbers. There are more active female posters than males on this site. The women can understand where most of their sisters are coming from. More women=More female support. Less men=Less male support.
It also doesn't help that more men write some pretty stupid shit. (I'm sorry, but you're on your own when you write in and ask if Target, Walmart or your parent's basement that you still live in, is the better place to meet BBW's) I think that there are some women who say some pretty silly shit also, but since 99% of it isn't about sex, feeding, squashing or Target-maybe it isn't seen as "flame-able"
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Old 08-31-2009, 02:43 PM   #47
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female feeders get the most leeway of all.
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Old 08-31-2009, 02:47 PM   #48
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female feeders get the most leeway of all.

The only exception are Males who engage in the Sport of Competitive Eating and Food Critics (the ultimate Foodee Job)
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Old 09-03-2009, 11:33 AM   #49
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A fresh perspective on this might be that it not be an issue of FA Vs BBW but one of male nurture vs female nurture in a post sexual revolution society.

It used to be that women were taught to merely suck it up and not speak out, this has changed over the years and they are now not only taught to speak out but to be aggressive to a degree in doing so and less demure.

Men in relation to women have always been taught from the cradle not to act aggressively toward women, starting with respect of ones mother being held in higher esteem than any other person including ones father. Men also learn through this type of conditioning that we as males are not allowed to react toward women emotionally but instead to internalize most emotional response. From what starts out with maternal respect many men project over time this conditioning to include women as a gender as we learn that men are physically stronger and that females are emotional which men are taught is also a weakness. With males this is done at the subconscious level by adulthood, most don't realize that they are doing it. They simply internalize automatically and move on instead of commenting toward of a woman speaking distastefully.

Another point of interest is the double standard of acceptable behaviour in society that men and women are supposed to adhere to. We are taught differently what is to be perceived as acceptable by gender in society. Men will accept another male making aggressive sexual advances toward a woman in some instances because we are taught to be aggressive sexually and it almost becomes a challenge game of what we were able to get a woman to do in bed that another woman would not normally be willing to do. This type of male behaviour is taught to women as offensive however men are only men and this behaviour is expected of them, however offensive it may be.

So, while a man might say something that may be considered offensive to women, he may not understand why it would be considered offensive since as a male it is behaviour that fits the model of the sexual conquest game he has been taught since birth and other men are less likely to comment on it.

When a woman says something similar that offends a man a lot of time the males won't comment on it because we aren't supposed to externalize minor offenses and definately not toward women. It is more manly to show our thick skins and not show the emotional response, to show response is to show a weakness that can be exploited. The woman is no longer under gender taught obligation to show restraint toward the offense, as well as no societal restraint against speaking out against it, therefore she is more likely to respond to the offense and more often.

Women are taught to be in touch with the emotional and are encouraged to speak out. So while a man will not be as likely to perceive the slight or act on it verbally, women can and will, more often than not, as a sharing of how they feel.

My two bits (adjusted for inflation)
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Old 09-03-2009, 11:59 AM   #50
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its true that changing/different sex roles have a lot to do with this but all of that could be avoided if people actually listened to each other and heard what was being said instead of always worrying about trying to be right. i think both men and women spend too much time trying to "win" and place blame. what if we just made an effort to truly communicate and actually try to please each other and help one another to grow? that way we won't be stubborn and keep making the same old mistakes over and over again.

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