disgusted

penny · 09-02-2009, 09:24 PM

has anyone else ever just sat down and ate a WHOLE PIE? i did today (have before also) i just couldne quit. and im type 2 diabetic!! 5'3 and 390+ lbs. im so disgusted with myself. i know this site is about self exceptance and it's great. i wish i would have found it long ago. but i need to be healthy for myself. and for me that would be losing some weight i can barely walk!! of course i have ALOT of other health problems too. and a husband that's not much help. sometimes i wonder if he cares at all!!! we have been married 21 rs and he is 16rs older than me. and i go on these binge eating phases and end up hating myself even more.i have always been made fun of by family and friends.I want to be happy like you other women on this site. and you all are so beautiful too!!! can i get some opions?

Cors · 09-02-2009, 10:08 PM

I am pretty sure that many women here do share your feelings, even if they are genuinely confident and happy. I have very thin friends, models included and most of them admit to feeling horrible after "succumbing to gluttony". I think people, women especially are conditioned to feel that anything calorific or excessive is seen is indulgent, sinful, disgusting, unhealthy and out-of-control and of course, that fat or possible weight gain is ugly and bad for you.

You mention health and mobility problems and that you are unhappy with your size, so seeking help is important. Not everyone can achieve this through an acceptance site alone. Bear in mind that weight loss talk is not allowed on this site, which might distort your perspective about everyone here all being huge healthy and happy, but there really is nothing wrong with wanting to improve your health and mobility even if you looove being fat and there are people who have done so.

On another note, how often do you do this and how severe are your binge eating episodes? Do you attempt to work it off by exercise or starvation and/or laxatives and self-induced vomitting? Is it just guilt and self-loathing? You might have an eating disorder, and if this is a case, please see a doctor about this even though many won't take anyone who isn't an emaciated anorexic seriously.

annabellethecat · 09-03-2009, 02:13 AM

Please do not beat yourself up over this. I know feeling out of control is scary, but the worse you feel about yourself, the worse you can wind up treating yourself. I am a type 2 diabetic too, and I struggle ever day with food. But whem I slip up I try to tell myself that it is ok, and I can make a better choice next time. Often it is not what we are eating but what is "eating us", depression, loneliness, anger, guilt, all those yucky feelings. If you feel that your binging is dangerously out of control, please try to find a compassionate therapist who can help. There is a link in the Health Forum to "fat friendly" doctors and therapists.

Shosh · 09-03-2009, 03:54 AM

I find it horrible that a person pouring their heart out and genuinely upset is met with crass jokes. I should maybe not be surprised though, as it is par for the course with some here.

To the OP I am very sorry that you have Diabetes, and seem to be struggling with issues of compulsive eating, and your self esteem.

Why don't you try dealing with all this on a day to day basis, and make choices that you feel will support your physical and emotional wellbeing, one day at a time. If you try to think beyond that it can all seem too much.

I also encourage you to say at least one positive thing about yourself everyday, and really let it in.

My best wishes to you.

mergirl · 09-03-2009, 04:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mini

Next time ..... (moderator edited).

What??!!

Seriously?
The woman has diabetes and an eating disorder and THIS is the advice you give her?
Disgusting.

To the op, I'm sorry to hear you are feeling so down on yourself. Maby you could post on the womans board. I'm not sure if there is a post on eating disorders but you could make one. It is a protected forum and i'm sure you will get lots of help, love and support. There is also a health forum.
Take care.

wrestlingguy · 09-03-2009, 04:03 AM

Whew, seems like you have a lot more going on over and above your weight issues.

Sometimes people come here expecting that their problems will all be solved in a couple of posts. They won't. In fact, coming here can sometimes make things worse (Mini.......I'm gonna chop u down at the Bash.....lol).

I saw the other thread you started about having issues with emphesyma as well. You've also mentioned that your husband is little help, and may not care.

With all this in mind, you may want to seek professional help for your physical and mental well being. Regardless of the age difference between you and your husband, not caring is not caring, and that could present a major problem for you as you head to recovery and a healthier life. You need family support to reach whatever goals you set for yourself.

I wish you well.

mergirl · 09-03-2009, 04:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by krismiss

Um. ......(moderator edited)

Not everyone who comes here at first is totally accepting of their bodies. Do you have any advice for her, because it sounds like she really needs some support. I would hate to think that there are women coming here because they have self esteme issues and being made to feel unwelcome and never returning because they were met with jokes about thier feelings or false assumptions that they should be super confident about their bodies.

Shosh · 09-03-2009, 04:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mergirl

Not everyone who comes here at first is totally accepting of their bodies. Do you have any advice for her, because it sounds like she really needs some support. I would hate to think that there are women coming here because they have self esteme issues and being made to feel unwelcome and never returning because they were met with jokes about thier feelings or false assumptions that they should be super confident about their bodies.

My thoughts exactly. It takes time and a safe space for some to become accepting of their bodies and to grow in confidence.
Being so brash with a person right off the bat serves no good purpose in my mind.

BBW Betty · 09-03-2009, 04:18 AM

Hi Penny,

While I don't yet have the health problems you list, you and I are very similar height and weight. I've been known to polish off large quantities of food and to have the same ensuing feelings of disgust with myself. It's not a failing on your part. Without someone in your life to offer you support in making the changes you want and need in order to be healthier, it can be very hard. I echo the advice here to work with a therapist and / or understanding doctor.

I don't really have advice for you, but wanted you to know you are not alone.

((hugs))

Betty

vardon_grip · 09-03-2009, 04:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by penny

has anyone else ever just sat down and ate a WHOLE PIE? i did today (have before also) i just couldne quit. and im type 2 diabetic!! 5'3 and 390+ lbs. im so disgusted with myself. i know this site is about self exceptance and it's great. i wish i would have found it long ago. but i need to be healthy for myself. and for me that would be losing some weight i can barely walk!! of course i have ALOT of other health problems too. and a husband that's not much help. sometimes i wonder if he cares at all!!! we have been married 21 rs and he is 16rs older than me. and i go on these binge eating phases and end up hating myself even more.i have always been made fun of by family and friends.I want to be happy like you other women on this site. and you all are so beautiful too!!! can i get some opions?

I commend you on the courage it took to write what a lot of people on this site feel every day, but are afraid to say to themselves and others. It sounds like you are in a lot of pain. Try to ignore the people who find it impossible to not say something shitty and unable to sympathize with your situation. No one hits the ground running so I guess they forget that every journey starts with the first step. It also sounds like you don't feel a lot of support at home and that may be contributing to your situation. Maybe you can find a therapist or other professional that you can talk to about your feelings and help you deal with all the emotions that you talk about here. With their help it is possible that you can formulate and put into action a plan to help you feel better about yourself, both physically and mentally.
Good luck.

steely · 09-03-2009, 05:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mini

Next time (moderator edited).

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jay West Coast

(moderator edited)

Quote:

Originally Posted by exile in thighville

(moderator edited)

This post should be put in the women's BBW protected forum. You three should try a little empathy. Clearly your posts are of no help and most likely will lead her to more self hate and loathing. Way to go, join the human race and get a clue. It's not easy to put your true self out there and you have shown no concern for her issues. If you can't say anything nice or helpful, STFU.

Seriously Jay, I would have thought better of you. The other two, same old shit, different day.

Miss Vickie · 09-03-2009, 06:14 AM

Penny, I'm not going to berate you. You know, with your health problems, that eating a pie is an extremely unhealthy and potentially dangerous things to do. I'm sure I don't need to tell you just how dangerous a disease diabetes is, how you can lose your eyes, your limbs, your kidneys and not all at once, but a bit at a time. It can also cause tremendous pain, the likes of which isn't touched by narcotics. I'm watching my brother, who is a careful diabetic, face all of these things, and it's very sad and frightening. He's only 60 and his eyesight is fading, he can no longer drive or work, has horrible pain from neuropathy and is nearly house bound.

Knowing all of the dangers of uncontrolled diabetes, if you find yourself continuing to make choices like eating a whole pie, it says to me that perhaps you have an unhealthy relationship with food, or at least for whatever reason you can't control your eating. In my experience, when I've had trouble controlling my eating, it's because I had emotional issues going on that weren't being addressed, and food becomes a comfort, or an "out" for all of my feelings; it's like I literally "stuff" them with food. Is there any chance you could see a therapist to help you deal with your relationship with food and see if there is something going on that is making you binge like this? You mentioned in an earlier post that you're on Medicaid, but I know that sometimes they cover therapy and I would hope that your doctor could help you get hooked up, particularly since your eating is putting your very life at risk.

Ultimately, all our doctors can do is give us guidance and medications and order tests and treatments. It's up to us to do what we need to do to be healthy. My hope is that you're ready soon to take control of your life, through your eating, and start making better choices. I know it's very hard, and very scary, but maybe if your doctor has a dietitian you could start there with learning what to eat, how much, and substitutes for pies and things like that.

Best of luck to you, Penny.

Adamantoise · 09-03-2009, 06:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by penny

has anyone else ever just sat down and ate a WHOLE PIE? i did today (have before also) i just couldne quit. and im type 2 diabetic!! 5'3 and 390+ lbs. im so disgusted with myself. i know this site is about self exceptance and it's great. i wish i would have found it long ago. but i need to be healthy for myself. and for me that would be losing some weight i can barely walk!! of course i have ALOT of other health problems too. and a husband that's not much help. sometimes i wonder if he cares at all!!! we have been married 21 rs and he is 16rs older than me. and i go on these binge eating phases and end up hating myself even more.i have always been made fun of by family and friends.I want to be happy like you other women on this site. and you all are so beautiful too!!! can i get some opions?

I think you are very brave for admitting your difficulties,and I commend you for your honesty,Miss. I'm afraid the only advice I can offer would be echoing those of some of my fellow forum users-please go to see a therapist or a doctor and talk with them to find some sort of aid. I wish you the very best-and try not to feel too guilty,okay?

steely · 09-03-2009, 06:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rowan

(moderator edited)

You'd be wrong, I know Penny from a diabetic forum. In my stupidity I invited her here so maybe she could get a little support and acceptance, clearly I made a mistake. There are people out there who have issues and need some support and understanding. I don't know what I was thinking.

Rowan · 09-03-2009, 06:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by steely

You'd be wrong, I know Penny from a diabetic forum. In my stupidity I invited her here so maybe she could get a little support and acceptance, clearly I made a mistake. There are people out there who have issues and need some support and understanding. I don't know what I was thinking.

To me there is a difference between seeking support and acceptance, and quite another in only posting negative things. Rather than post negative, post about yourself and let people see your personality and get to know you. Why would anyone want to get to know someone who only has negative things to say?

fatgirlflyin · 09-03-2009, 07:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cors

Care to elaborate? Her posts don't scream troll to me, I know many big women like her in person.

Said I may just be jaded...

Quote:

Originally Posted by steely

You'd be wrong, I know Penny from a diabetic forum. In my stupidity I invited her here so maybe she could get a little support and acceptance, clearly I made a mistake. There are people out there who have issues and need some support and understanding. I don't know what I was thinking.

I don't think you did a bad thing at all Steely like I told you in private, I hope your friend benefits from being here and learns to love herself and her body. I just think should would have been better served if she would have worded things in her post differently. Though in all honesty, if she truly hates her fat body (as her post screams to me) I guess she wouldn't know how to word it any differently.

I'll eat crow, but someone needs to pass me the salt and pepper.

steely · 09-03-2009, 07:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rowan

To me there is a difference between seeking support and acceptance, and quite another in only posting negative things. Rather than post negative, post about yourself and let people see your personality and get to know you. Why would anyone want to get to know someone who only has negative things to say?

Maybe she is in a negative state and can't see any other things in her life. I don't know about you but I'm not 100% positive every day of my life. She's made 4 posts, perhaps it takes a little longer to bring out positivity when you feel so badly about yourself. Instead of everyone attacking, which seems to be business as usual, maybe we could give it a little more time.

Jes · 09-03-2009, 07:29 AM

To the OP: To me, though I'm no expert, you're describing an eating disorder. Do you agree? I think there's a lot of power in naming something because once you do, you can start to face it. Like some others have suggested, do you have someone supportive, with experience in this arena, to talk to? Is that something you could do? A doctor, a therapist, etc.? I'm sure there are even support groups online that you might find helpful. Feeling alone is horrible. We've all been there, I'm sure. Don't feel powerless--there ARE things you can do. I won't lie, they're not easy, but you're worth it.

MissToodles · 09-03-2009, 07:53 AM

penny, don't feel any shame. I'm sure many have been in your position. While I'm not a diabetic, I've also had similar issues. You know, depression can lead to these things and binge eating helps to temporarily boost serotonin levels. Don't feel ashamed! Perhaps you can find someone locally, a professional who can help talk you through these tough times. Again, just because you ate a whole pie and you're diabetic doesn't mean you should hang your head and cry. You're only human. I wish the best of luck to you.

Cors · 09-03-2009, 08:11 AM

Hi Penny, I found some threads that might be of help to you.

Yet another thing on binge eating

Eating disoders

Eating disorders and fat acceptance

Compulsive overeating/binge eating disorder

rollhandler · 09-03-2009, 08:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fatgirlflyin

Said I may just be jaded...

I don't think you did a bad thing at all Steely like I told you in private, I hope your friend benefits from being here and learns to love herself and her body. I just think should would have been better served if she would have worded things in her post differently. Though in all honesty, if she truly hates her fat body (as her post screams to me) I guess she wouldn't know how to word it any differently.

I'll eat crow, but someone needs to pass me the salt and pepper.

Even when I try to say something positive, sometimes the manner of delivery comes across with negative connotations. It's not something I recognize until it is pointed out after the fact. I cannot be the only one this happens to.

In reference to the OP, speaking from my own life experiences, I have known and been friends with persons, male and female, with eating disorders ranging from bulimia, to eating addictions, and have to ask this person if they have ever introspectively questioned where the binging behaviour comes from? From her post alone I see anger and depression and the result is a self fulfilling prophecy, and cycle of self loathing. If you understand the triggers you can help yourself stop the result.

I agree with the posters that with your health at issue to seek guidance and support here but to also seek council from a professional who can help find the seat of the problem or at least an understanding of where it comes from so that it can be identified when it begins to surface instead of after the result.
Rollhandler

LillyBBBW · 09-03-2009, 08:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by penny

has anyone else ever just sat down and ate a WHOLE PIE? i did today (have before also) i just couldne quit. and im type 2 diabetic!! 5'3 and 390+ lbs. im so disgusted with myself. i know this site is about self exceptance and it's great. i wish i would have found it long ago. but i need to be healthy for myself. and for me that would be losing some weight i can barely walk!! of course i have ALOT of other health problems too. and a husband that's not much help. sometimes i wonder if he cares at all!!! we have been married 21 rs and he is 16rs older than me. and i go on these binge eating phases and end up hating myself even more.i have always been made fun of by family and friends.I want to be happy like you other women on this site. and you all are so beautiful too!!! can i get some opions?

Penny are you eating enough? What helps is to make sure the meals you are eating are satisfying as well as nutritionally sound. If you deprive yourself and dab at drab food your body will rebel and you'll get the hungry horrors. Type II diabetes is a serious matter but don't let it scare you into adopting eating habits that in the long run will make matters worse. Relax and stop beating yourself up. Write down a list of the things you enjoy within sound reason for your circumstances. Enjoy some of the fabulous recipies on the foodie board and try to seize control of the way you eat according to your appetite, not Calista Flockhart's. Sometimes these monster cravings and out of control episodes are your body's way of trying to tell you something. Shut her up with seafood gumbo and fresh strawberries.

I'm sorry if this is too "dietey" but Penny won't take private messages.

LillyBBBW · 09-03-2009, 08:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cors

Care to elaborate? Her posts don't scream troll to me, I know many big women like her in person.

I agree. This to me sounds like a very scared person who has been diagnosed with a disease and wants to talk with people who might understand her without damning her to hell for being fat. Unfortunatley diet talk is against the rules here but she probably didn't know that. There are lots of people here who use diet to control their diabetes, it's not a sin or a sign of fat hate. I don't think this woman needs a beating.

AnnMarie · 09-03-2009, 08:49 AM

You asked for advice and that's what I'll give you - mine.

Stop placing so much value on food - good or bad, and concentrate on being what you want - fat, thin, happy, healthy, whatever the hell it is.

Stop being disgusted and start taking control of who you are and what you want. If a pie is JUST a pie, then you shouldn't be disgusted by it. If it's failure and lack of control and oh-my-God-I'm-a-fat-pig then you're going to have issues.

You're just as entitled to do what you want than anyone else - but if you do things that make you feel out of control than it's an issue far beyond weight and much more about what's inside.

I know you're new, but some of the advice here was to lighten the mood - we generally don't come face to face with something that's so fat negative and sometimes people don't know how to process it. Personally, it's a nice reminder to me of how far I've come.

I love pie - I hope you learn to find a new relationship with food, where it's not good and bad - it's just food. You'll eat some when you want, others when you want, and a salad is just as yummy sometimes as a double cheeseburger with bacon. However, some people can't get there because they really have eating issues/disorders - so I hope if you find you're a person with that (you mentioned binging) that you get some help.

Observer · 09-03-2009, 08:52 AM

Penny, my heart goes out to you - and hopefully my meager voice in the chorus may have some practical advice as well.

I am not a diabetic, but I have associates and extended family members who are. I know that they live in a world of temptations that are forbideden for them but normal for everyone else. And I know that those who have not actually walked in their shoes can't fully understand their frustrsations even if they try. Our reaction as non-diabetics is to first preach self-control and then try and control the patient because we just "want to help."

The lecures and substitute will power are well meant but they don't work long term. And then the tendancy is to condemn, give up and walk awsay. "He or she doesn't really want help - its hopeless" is the attitude. I've seen it happen. I read it in your post as having happened to you. And I'm sorry. It wrong, its callous, but its the pattern. And too often they don't sepsarsate the world of the diabetic from the world of weight issues. They overlap but they're not the same.

The good news is that there are alternatives. The best I've seen is a 12 step like support group with fellow diabetics. They HAVE walked in your shoes, they do understand, when you need help in resisting temptation they're a cell phone call awy, they'll not belittle and put you down, and when you stumble they will forgive and not bersate because they've stumbled themselves.

This is the kind of love and support you need. If you were here in Southrrn California I could give you a referral in minutes - but I'm sure Oklahoma has similar resources. I hope you will try finding them - and if you need backup in locating them we can try too.

09-02-2009, 09:24 PM	#1
penny Junior Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: EUCHA-OKLAHOMA Posts: 9	disgusted has anyone else ever just sat down and ate a WHOLE PIE? i did today (have before also) i just couldne quit. and im type 2 diabetic!! 5'3 and 390+ lbs. im so disgusted with myself. i know this site is about self exceptance and it's great. i wish i would have found it long ago. but i need to be healthy for myself. and for me that would be losing some weight i can barely walk!! of course i have ALOT of other health problems too. and a husband that's not much help. sometimes i wonder if he cares at all!!! we have been married 21 rs and he is 16rs older than me. and i go on these binge eating phases and end up hating myself even more.i have always been made fun of by family and friends.I want to be happy like you other women on this site. and you all are so beautiful too!!! can i get some opions?

09-02-2009, 10:08 PM	#2
Cors Token Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Uppsala, Sweden Posts: 2,771	I am pretty sure that many women here do share your feelings, even if they are genuinely confident and happy. I have very thin friends, models included and most of them admit to feeling horrible after "succumbing to gluttony". I think people, women especially are conditioned to feel that anything calorific or excessive is seen is indulgent, sinful, disgusting, unhealthy and out-of-control and of course, that fat or possible weight gain is ugly and bad for you. You mention health and mobility problems and that you are unhappy with your size, so seeking help is important. Not everyone can achieve this through an acceptance site alone. Bear in mind that weight loss talk is not allowed on this site, which might distort your perspective about everyone here all being huge healthy and happy, but there really is nothing wrong with wanting to improve your health and mobility even if you looove being fat and there are people who have done so. On another note, how often do you do this and how severe are your binge eating episodes? Do you attempt to work it off by exercise or starvation and/or laxatives and self-induced vomitting? Is it just guilt and self-loathing? You might have an eating disorder, and if this is a case, please see a doctor about this even though many won't take anyone who isn't an emaciated anorexic seriously. __________________ “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” ~Anais Nin

09-03-2009, 04:03 AM	#6
wrestlingguy Dumber, but louder. Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: NJ Posts: 2,303	Whew, seems like you have a lot more going on over and above your weight issues. Sometimes people come here expecting that their problems will all be solved in a couple of posts. They won't. In fact, coming here can sometimes make things worse (Mini.......I'm gonna chop u down at the Bash.....lol). I saw the other thread you started about having issues with emphesyma as well. You've also mentioned that your husband is little help, and may not care. With all this in mind, you may want to seek professional help for your physical and mental well being. Regardless of the age difference between you and your husband, not caring is not caring, and that could present a major problem for you as you head to recovery and a healthier life. You need family support to reach whatever goals you set for yourself. I wish you well. __________________ Hey, you're banned, and I'm still blogging.....there is a God.

09-03-2009, 04:18 AM	#9
BBW Betty Made My Saving Throw Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Wisconsin Posts: 3,700	Hi Penny, While I don't yet have the health problems you list, you and I are very similar height and weight. I've been known to polish off large quantities of food and to have the same ensuing feelings of disgust with myself. It's not a failing on your part. Without someone in your life to offer you support in making the changes you want and need in order to be healthier, it can be very hard. I echo the advice here to work with a therapist and / or understanding doctor. I don't really have advice for you, but wanted you to know you are not alone. ((hugs)) Betty __________________ The Fat Lady Sings "Be the change you want to see in the world." --Mahatma Gandhi

09-03-2009, 07:29 AM	#18
Jes is oddly aroused Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 16,546	To the OP: To me, though I'm no expert, you're describing an eating disorder. Do you agree? I think there's a lot of power in naming something because once you do, you can start to face it. Like some others have suggested, do you have someone supportive, with experience in this arena, to talk to? Is that something you could do? A doctor, a therapist, etc.? I'm sure there are even support groups online that you might find helpful. Feeling alone is horrible. We've all been there, I'm sure. Don't feel powerless--there ARE things you can do. I won't lie, they're not easy, but you're worth it. Last edited by Risible : 09-03-2009 at 12:09 PM. Reason: removed argumentative language

09-03-2009, 02:13 AM	#3
annabellethecat Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Clovis, California Posts: 59	Please do not beat yourself up over this. I know feeling out of control is scary, but the worse you feel about yourself, the worse you can wind up treating yourself. I am a type 2 diabetic too, and I struggle ever day with food. But whem I slip up I try to tell myself that it is ok, and I can make a better choice next time. Often it is not what we are eating but what is "eating us", depression, loneliness, anger, guilt, all those yucky feelings. If you feel that your binging is dangerously out of control, please try to find a compassionate therapist who can help. There is a link in the Health Forum to "fat friendly" doctors and therapists.

09-03-2009, 03:54 AM	#4
Shosh Susannah Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 10,937	I find it horrible that a person pouring their heart out and genuinely upset is met with crass jokes. I should maybe not be surprised though, as it is par for the course with some here. To the OP I am very sorry that you have Diabetes, and seem to be struggling with issues of compulsive eating, and your self esteem. Why don't you try dealing with all this on a day to day basis, and make choices that you feel will support your physical and emotional wellbeing, one day at a time. If you try to think beyond that it can all seem too much. I also encourage you to say at least one positive thing about yourself everyday, and really let it in. My best wishes to you.

09-03-2009, 06:14 AM	#12
Miss Vickie Executive Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 8,951	Penny, I'm not going to berate you. You know, with your health problems, that eating a pie is an extremely unhealthy and potentially dangerous things to do. I'm sure I don't need to tell you just how dangerous a disease diabetes is, how you can lose your eyes, your limbs, your kidneys and not all at once, but a bit at a time. It can also cause tremendous pain, the likes of which isn't touched by narcotics. I'm watching my brother, who is a careful diabetic, face all of these things, and it's very sad and frightening. He's only 60 and his eyesight is fading, he can no longer drive or work, has horrible pain from neuropathy and is nearly house bound. Knowing all of the dangers of uncontrolled diabetes, if you find yourself continuing to make choices like eating a whole pie, it says to me that perhaps you have an unhealthy relationship with food, or at least for whatever reason you can't control your eating. In my experience, when I've had trouble controlling my eating, it's because I had emotional issues going on that weren't being addressed, and food becomes a comfort, or an "out" for all of my feelings; it's like I literally "stuff" them with food. Is there any chance you could see a therapist to help you deal with your relationship with food and see if there is something going on that is making you binge like this? You mentioned in an earlier post that you're on Medicaid, but I know that sometimes they cover therapy and I would hope that your doctor could help you get hooked up, particularly since your eating is putting your very life at risk. Ultimately, all our doctors can do is give us guidance and medications and order tests and treatments. It's up to us to do what we need to do to be healthy. My hope is that you're ready soon to take control of your life, through your eating, and start making better choices. I know it's very hard, and very scary, but maybe if your doctor has a dietitian you could start there with learning what to eat, how much, and substitutes for pies and things like that. Best of luck to you, Penny.

09-03-2009, 07:53 AM	#19
MissToodles dead peasant Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: nyc Posts: 4,079	penny, don't feel any shame. I'm sure many have been in your position. While I'm not a diabetic, I've also had similar issues. You know, depression can lead to these things and binge eating helps to temporarily boost serotonin levels. Don't feel ashamed! Perhaps you can find someone locally, a professional who can help talk you through these tough times. Again, just because you ate a whole pie and you're diabetic doesn't mean you should hang your head and cry. You're only human. I wish the best of luck to you. __________________ it's on a need to know basis

09-03-2009, 08:11 AM	#20
Cors Token Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Uppsala, Sweden Posts: 2,771	Hi Penny, I found some threads that might be of help to you. Yet another thing on binge eating Eating disoders Eating disorders and fat acceptance Compulsive overeating/binge eating disorder __________________ “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” ~Anais Nin

09-03-2009, 08:49 AM	#24
AnnMarie ✰cuddly and terrifying✰ Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Twirly Girl Posts: 19,249	You asked for advice and that's what I'll give you - mine. Stop placing so much value on food - good or bad, and concentrate on being what you want - fat, thin, happy, healthy, whatever the hell it is. Stop being disgusted and start taking control of who you are and what you want. If a pie is JUST a pie, then you shouldn't be disgusted by it. If it's failure and lack of control and oh-my-God-I'm-a-fat-pig then you're going to have issues. You're just as entitled to do what you want than anyone else - but if you do things that make you feel out of control than it's an issue far beyond weight and much more about what's inside. I know you're new, but some of the advice here was to lighten the mood - we generally don't come face to face with something that's so fat negative and sometimes people don't know how to process it. Personally, it's a nice reminder to me of how far I've come. I love pie - I hope you learn to find a new relationship with food, where it's not good and bad - it's just food. You'll eat some when you want, others when you want, and a salad is just as yummy sometimes as a double cheeseburger with bacon. However, some people can't get there because they really have eating issues/disorders - so I hope if you find you're a person with that (you mentioned binging) that you get some help. __________________ Snacks are good for the soul. Raw Full Maow BigFatTweets - I caved, but no promises I'll use it.

09-03-2009, 08:52 AM	#25
Observer Editor/Writer/Commentator Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 5,157	Penny, my heart goes out to you - and hopefully my meager voice in the chorus may have some practical advice as well. I am not a diabetic, but I have associates and extended family members who are. I know that they live in a world of temptations that are forbideden for them but normal for everyone else. And I know that those who have not actually walked in their shoes can't fully understand their frustrsations even if they try. Our reaction as non-diabetics is to first preach self-control and then try and control the patient because we just "want to help." The lecures and substitute will power are well meant but they don't work long term. And then the tendancy is to condemn, give up and walk awsay. "He or she doesn't really want help - its hopeless" is the attitude. I've seen it happen. I read it in your post as having happened to you. And I'm sorry. It wrong, its callous, but its the pattern. And too often they don't sepsarsate the world of the diabetic from the world of weight issues. They overlap but they're not the same. The good news is that there are alternatives. The best I've seen is a 12 step like support group with fellow diabetics. They HAVE walked in your shoes, they do understand, when you need help in resisting temptation they're a cell phone call awy, they'll not belittle and put you down, and when you stumble they will forgive and not bersate because they've stumbled themselves. This is the kind of love and support you need. If you were here in Southrrn California I could give you a referral in minutes - but I'm sure Oklahoma has similar resources. I hope you will try finding them - and if you need backup in locating them we can try too.

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